Hi Guys,

I’ll start off by using this thread to post a few things that I’ve already written as I work up the courage to write new stuff as well revisit old works that I never completed. I work on updating this thread fairly regularly with at least one new entry per week but hopefully more than that. We’ll see.

I hope you enjoy reading and the writing resonates with you. Without further ado, let’s begin with the first piece; a poem I wrote not too long ago.

Opening Prayer

God,

Please come and take my soul but be gentle with me, please. I know how it feels to be hurt by a force much greater than me. Please, don’t be like that. The world keeps telling me you’re a killer and you hate me but please don’t be like that.

My heart is hurt and my soul is weary. Please, be gentle with me. Lift me up out of the waters of despair. Imbue me with confidence and the knowledge that you are alive, and that I am alive. Please, allow me to be safe with you. Don’t hurt me. Don’t punch me. Don’t abuse me. I know how all of those things feel and those don’t feel like love.

They feel like pain. Tears at the memory of your blows. Tears at the deaths of my friends and brothers. Restlessness through the night. Afraid to fall asleep lest you come in and kill me, or come in and rape me.

Is it you that is using me this way or is it someone else. She told me she was a witch and yet I walked straight to her. All I knew is, I hated you. I hated that you told me no one else would ever love me like you did.

It sounds sweet but is it true? How desperately do you want it to be true? Desperate enough that you would erase any knowledge of any other God from my mind? Desperate enough to punch a hole through my mind just so you can say you got here first? Or that you were strong enough to break through my defences?

Why must you beat me up? Hurt me when I’m not performing? Am I not doing what you bought me to do? Or am I simply not good enough for you?

Why did you buy me in the first place? Did you see me as less than human? Did you want a robot?

......

It came straight from the heart, I only feel as if I ended it too abruptly; what do you think?

Worship

“You mentioned not too long ago; worship is a hard drug to get off. Could you elaborate on that please?”

The Djinn shifted in his seat as he prepared to answer my question. He began with a question of his own.

“This is, anonymous, yes?”

“Absolutely.”

It was a shared anxiety between us, he going against some of his kin and me going against some of mine. The things we were about to discuss were enough to make a Christian think of beheading us. Pushing his anxiety aside, the Djinn began to speak.

“For some of us, we get hooked on the adoration heaped onto us by humans. It…makes us high you might say or might also say that it makes our egos swell to unreasonable degrees.”

He stroked his chin, thinking about what to say next.

“The danger there is that, a lot of these Djinn actually do have the lives of a few or a great many in their hands.” His eyes suddenly flitted in my direction, nervously. “And the thing that most Djinn will never admit to is their propensity for making mistakes. We make them, just like you all do. What makes things worse is that a Djinn with an already over-inflated ego will, through sheer force of will, use every possible means to try and cover up that one mistake.”

“Is this where destiny comes in?” I ask, confident that I’m about to make another vicious stab into the beast called Worship.

“Yes, but a grave misunderstanding of the concept. As I was saying, great care and effort is taken to cover up mistakes that even the Djinn goes further into delusion believing that it was not a mistake but simply a divine occurrence.”

The Djinn gives me a quizzical look, as if something has just dawned on him.

“You need to calm your fire down.”

It’s my turn to look puzzled. He takes a moment before addressing my inquiring glare.

“Not all Djinn are evil, worship sucking monsters you know?”

I can feel the blocks in my mind setting themselves up to refuse entry to this idea.

“Some are genuinely kind and ready to help humans and each other.”

I cast my eyes towards the floor, a fierce battle raging in my mind.

“But, as your people say ‘Empty barrels make the most noise’. Don’t allow a few bad eggs to colour your impression of the whole basket.”

I know where my resistance is coming from so I keep my head down while still wrestling with the idea of benevolent Djinn and spirits...a benevolent God? No, no way.

“I think I had better leave now.”

And with that the chair where the Djinn sat was suddenly empty. I wiped my face with my palms and rested my chin on one of them, staring at the empty seat fearful that I may have destroyed a reliable link beyond the veil.

I sigh and I guess that somewhere along the line I made a mistake in this interview.

-M