Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,154,146 members, 7,821,916 topics. Date: Wednesday, 08 May 2024 at 09:37 PM

25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / 25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: (795 Views)

19 Funny Things That Happen In A Taxi. / Things That Make Nigerians Lose Weight / Computers In The Movies (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: by seunspice(m): 11:06am On Mar 09, 2010
1. Word processors never display a cursor.

2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.

3. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.

4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.

5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.

8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.

10. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)

11. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.

12. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

13. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

14. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.

15. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

16. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.

17. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.

18. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.

19. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.

20. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.

21. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.

22. Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.

23. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.

24. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.

25. Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to. Example: "What's that fuzzy thing in the corner? I don't know, let's check. It's the murder weapon! Let's look under the bed for the killers shoes. no, just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let's check the closet shelves, !"
Re: 25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: by clemcykul(f): 12:28pm On Mar 09, 2010
eehheh nice one\

itz al abt mke bliv cool
Re: 25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: by Ben13: 1:06pm On Mar 09, 2010
All citizen's information can be tracked on any PC cheesy
Re: 25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: by seunspice(m): 1:17pm On Mar 09, 2010
@Ben-10, You are right, maybe we shsould make that No 26.
Re: 25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: by clemcykul(f): 1:19pm On Mar 09, 2010
hackers cn hck n2 ur pc witn 2mins lol
Re: 25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: by jessefly: 11:43am On Mar 10, 2010
as u said der are movies n dont want to extend d so called computer scenes showing how dey decrypt the information
or u think its naija movie wey dem go show us as dem go apply make up, tye gele, prepare d entire food jus to pass their message
n besides i aint seen dat in movies a long time, culd u be more elaborate by naming one movie
Re: 25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers In Hollywood Movies: by Nellyon(f): 11:53am On Mar 12, 2010
Very good.Really 'gooder' cos its not just our Nigerian movies that have faults because they sure have them.

(1) (Reply)

Price Of Marriage / Riddle/cock / Catch A Rabbit

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 20
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.