I am a girl.

There was this girl who was the perfect girl in my opinion.

GORGEOUS! Intelligent (went to Harvard to study law), seemed like the perfect daughter, well behaved etc..

She is almost 5 years older than me, so I always admired her from a far.

She was my role model

I one day plucked up the courage to message her on Facebook, I told her congrats for graduating university and I sent her a friend request.

After a long time of waiting my request was DECLINED and message ignored.

I was confused, so I added her again.

After a long time of waiting my request was again DECLINED.

I was confused, I did not have a profile picture at the time but we had mutual friends, and to be fair she did not really know me we spoke a few times at a party and drove in the same taxi together, and took pictures together- but still if you have mutual friends with someone and they send you a congratulations message surely you will reply or something?

I moved on with my life.

A few years later she got married and her mom wanted me to be one of the people who help at the wedding. She introduced me to her daughter (the girl I am talking about), and her daughter was really friendly and smile-y and wanted to hug me but I did not go in for the hug so it was a bit awkward ... The reason I acted how I did because I was like, why am I going to hug you when you can not even accept my friend request or reply to my message.

Nonetheless, after reflection I was like let me give her the benefit of the doubt and I was friendly etc there after.

The next time I saw her was at her wedding, she seemed so so stuck up. The people (us black girls) she did not acknowledge us at all, whereas all her white friends she was so loving towards. She is also marrying a white man. She also seemed kind off like she did not like me by the glances she gave me.

I later sent her another message a few weeks later saying "hello Mrs [insert new surname here], how are you"

She made her facebook so I could not add her (the add friend button had suddenly gone!) and she replied 'All is well. You?' and I replied 'fine thank you' she did not reply again. Is that not rude, no THANK YOU for taking the day of work to help out at her wedding etc, she sounded so blunt.

I did not message her again after that, nor did I attempt to add her on Facebook.

2 years later, something tragic happened to me and I sent her a message telling her (there was a death in my immediate family, and I reached out to her because she also went through the same thing a few years before me) I just reached out to her that is all! and she saw the message but did not reply.

How can someone hate me so much?

Someone I literally idolised.

Even at one point her mom's phone had me on block on whatsapp, and her family in general are really judgemental and stuck up. I think her brother has a crush on me also. However, when they see me they hug me and ask me personal questions about my life.

Their whole family make me feel uncomfortable.

What should I do?

OP you caused it.. U expected much.. U see her as very superior to u.. Comeon everyone can't and won't care.. Select doz few that ask u wadsup nd forget d rest.. I had a friend like dat too bk in d days.. I see him as very perfect nd wanted to get his approval all d tym. Buh e always bshit me. After som years i became bigger dan him in achievements.. Nw e seeks me.

Just forget her, nd stop hurting urself.. Look around u. Another person cares drive all attention to doz dah care. Takia

ChopBellefull:
OP you caused it.. U expected much.. U see her as very superior to u.. Comeon everyone can't and won't care.. Select doz few that ask u wadsup nd forget d rest.. I had a friend like dat too bk in d days.. I see him as very perfect nd wanted to get his approval all d tym. Buh e always bshit me. After som years i became bigger dan him in achievements.. Nw e seeks me.

Just forget her, nd stop hurting urself.. Look around u. Another person cares drive all attention to doz dah care. Takia

thank you X

Why so much attraction and affection towards same sex?
There is something (orientation?) you're not telling us.

KardinalZik:
Why so much attraction and affection towards same sex?

There is something (orientation?) you're not telling us.

She was my role model and I wanted 2 b like her

who is wrong - me or her? and why..

MissEstelle:


She was my role model and I wanted 2 b like her

who is wrong - me or her? and why..

You were obviously not discreet about it.


You got served! Dunno if you deserve it sha...Buh karma has a way of getting back at people. Just wait...

decatalyst:


You were obviously not discreet about it.


You got served! Dunno if you deserve it sha...Buh karma has a way of getting back at people. Just wait...

Leave that girl alone. She’s not well.

Probz:


Leave that girl alone. She’s not well.

Who isn't well, whats going on please

Who isn't well, whats going on please

People we look up to often let us down which shows that, in our minds we have seen them as perfect or near perfect and in that vein expected too much from them. Just thank God that the little closeness you had with her has really exposed her imperfections to you. Some so called role models are very horrible fellows, it shows your area of strength which she is deficient in. You seem nice and friendly, but don't ever seek friendship where your self respect will be thrown to the gutters, don't ridicule yourself in the name of being friendly.

Don't feel bad at all, the problem is not you but her. The better way to get back at her is to work on yourself and achieve what will make her be the one trying to reach out to you. I believe that can happen and will happen if you put your mind on it.
I'm sorry about your experience.