For the ladies supporting the OP and justifying her, the boyfriend is not her father.

I do not blame you all supporting the lady. It appears both you all and the Op do not have fathers or havr fathers and mothers who depend on the children for survival.
That is the new trend otherwise if your parents were capable of meeting your needs why would you need a man to do that and justify your actions by stating that you give him s.ex.

You all should go on google type the word "p.ros.ti.tue" click on the first returned result read it.
Find a mirror and look at it.
That image you see is exactly what you just read.

I didn't read the OP but from the comments I wonder why we are equating sex and buying things(or giving money) to your lady.

There are people in sexless relationships and their boyfriend/ fiance still gives them cash / items.

Not giving your partner anything is stinginess simple.

So those who don't have sex in relationships can't receive gifts from their guys?

Guys justifying nonsense since time immemorial.

Guitarlife:
For the ladies supporting the OP and justifying her, the boyfriend is not her father.

I do not blame you all supporting the lady. It appears both you all and the Op do not have fathers or havr fathers and mothers who depend on the children for survival.
That is the new trend otherwise if your parents were capable of meeting your needs why would you need a man to do that and justify your actions by stating that you give him s.ex.

You all should go on google type the word "p.ros.ti.tue" click on the first returned result read it.
Find a mirror and look at it.
That image you see is exactly what you just read.

First of I am one of those supporting the OP so I will take this post personally. You are the one that doesn't have a father or you have parents that depend on you for survival.
I return your curse back to you.
Secondly, you yourself type the word inept, wretched miser on Google and read it. What you see in the mirror is that you just read.

NoToPile:
I didn't read the OP but from the comments I wonder why we are equating sex and buying things(or giving money) to your lady.

There are people in sexless relationships and their boyfriend/ fiance still gives them cash / items.

Not giving your partner anything is stinginess simple.

So those who don't have sex in relationships can't receive gifts from their guys?

Guys justifying nonsense since time immemorial.

Can you imagine the rubbish, five whole years and nothing. The girl is not even asking for regular upkeep or pocket money, just maybe birthday gift or something small that normal couples give to each other while dating.

Many men these days want to be stingy and selfish and they hide under the guise of calling girls gold diggers.

Girls, I repeat : A man who will not give you anything at all while dating will certainly not provide for you in marriage, forget it.
He should be able to show his willingness to take care of you should you eventually tie the knot. Not that he will always fund your bank account or be solely responsible for your upkeep but at least a birthday or anniversary gift will do. Not giving anything even 100naira, shows that he hates the idea of providing for you and he will most likely not do so after getting married. If you complain after marriage he will tell you that you always knew him like that before the marriage and you went ahead to marry him so why are you complaining now?

nahzyla:


Can you imagine the rubbish, five whole years and nothing. The girl is not even asking for regular upkeep or pocket money, just maybe birthday gift or something small that normal couples give to each other while dating.

Many men these days want to be stingy and selfish and they hide under the guise of calling girls gold diggers.

Girls, I repeat : A man who will not give you anything at all while dating will certainly not provide for you in marriage, forget it.
He should be able to show his willingness to take care of you should you eventually tie the knot. Not that he will always fund your bank account or be solely responsible for your upkeep but at least a birthday or anniversary gift will do. Not giving anything even 100naira, shows that he hates the idea of providing for you and he will most likely not do so after getting married. If you complain after marriage he will tell you that you always knew him like that before the marriage and you went ahead to marry him so why are you complaining now?

This mentality is really sickening.
The people shouting gender equality would not speak up now.
Why is he obligated to take care of her needs ? Is she handicapped or something ?
So because she is a female she does not have the capacity to work and earn her own money and take care of herself ?

If she was married then I'd expect the two couples to discuss how they want the affairs of the home.
It is liabilities and women who have nothing else to offer than the hole in between their legs that reason like this.

All the hard working women that I have come across dont even reason like this.

Guitarlife:


This mentality is really sickening.
The people shouting gender equality would not speak up now.
Why is he obligated to take care of her needs ? Is she handicapped or something ?
So because she is a female she does not have the capacity to work and earn her own money and take care of herself ?

If she was married then I'd expect the two couples to discuss how they want the affairs of the home.
It is liabilities and women who have nothing else to offer than the hole in between their legs that reason like this.

All the hard working women that I have come across dont even reason like this.

Did you just say all?

You are being one sided and you know it. There's nothing wrong in buying gifts for your girl,fiance or wife nothing wrong with shouldering responsibilities totally too by the time you get married.

You started by saying the OP was selling her body for cash returns by having sex with him and that's a flawed thinking.

I asked a question which I will ask you directly, what about those in sexless relationships and their spouse gives the ladies involved presents please what are they selling?

Guitarlife:


This mentality is really sickening.
The people shouting gender equality would not speak up now.
Why is he obligated to take care of her needs ? Is she handicapped or something ?
So because she is a female she does not have the capacity to work and earn her own money and take care of herself ?

If she was married then I'd expect the two couples to discuss how they want the affairs of the home.
It is liabilities and women who have nothing else to offer than the hole in between their legs that reason like this.

All the hard working women that I have come across dont even reason like this.

Can you even read?

Where did I say he is obligated to take care of her needs or that she shouldn't work to take care of herself?
Where is it written in my post? Better read properly before drawing conclusions.

jeff1607:




I hope the girlfriend won't be upset when he decides to reserve his money for his wife

He's doing that already nah.

Isn't that the issue with the OP,? Why else will someone that calls himself a man be so stingy to his girl?

Stingy men is a huge turn off for me. I won't even be loving someone that is aka gum. Where will the love come from nah?

If a man cannot take care of my needs then he cannot be my man, simple. I hope to teach my daughters that too in the near future.

NoToPile:



Did you just say all?

You are being one sided and you know it. There's nothing wrong in buying gifts for your girl,fiance or wife nothing wrong with shouldering responsibilities totally too by the time you get married.

You started by saying the OP was selling her body for cash returns by having sex with him and that's a flawed thinking.

I asked a question which I will ask you directly, what about those in sexless relationships and their spouse gives the ladies involved presents please what are they selling?

You all make it look like the life of the relationship is dependent the boyfriend spending on her and that is the issue.
Do you agree it is optional for the boyfriend to spend on the babe or compulsory ?

If you say it is optional then why is the babe sulking that the guy is not spending on her ?
If you say it is compulsory then I'd say is he her father ? Let her wait and become a wife first before staking claim to a mans sweat, that is why women loose their respect in the front of men.

I insist your boyfriend is not your father.

UjuJoan2:


He's doing that already nah.

Isn't that the issue with the OP,? Why else will someone that calls himself a man be so stingy to his girl?

Stingy men is a huge turn off for me. I won't even be loving someone that is aka gum. Where will the love come from nah?

If a man cannot take care of my needs then he cannot be my man, simple. I hope to teach my daughters that too in the near future.

If a man cannot take care of your needs ? hahahaha where are your parents for crying out load ?

Guitarlife:


If a man cannot take care of your needs ? hahahaha where are your parents for crying out load ?

I just read your comments bro and you are making a logical argument. Everything you said is true.

I realized that most ladies call a guy that spend on them Maga just like you or someone rightly pointed out. When you take up her responsibility, she will bring her families responsibility and even that of her relations. I once had an experience like that. A lady visited me and was staying for a week. During the third day, she told me that there is this her cousin who needs money so her project in school and that she is financially down. According to her, the cousin needs 20k, that I should help out. I was shocked, I paid for her transport and even when she came she fell sick which I had to take up the expenses all alone. Each time we go out, she wants to eat everything she see on our way, yet, she is bringing her cousin's problem. Immediately she said it, I just did my ear as if I train pigs.


When ladies call guys that refuse to spend unnecessarily broke, stingy, and insecure, I just can't help but laugh. The truth which is being taught in any financial training is that, you are not financially sensible if ladies don't tell you that you are stingy. If ladies keep praising you for spending everything you have, then you are financially wayward.

If you are going out for a business transaction, or perhaps you got a new job or started a new business, your sister or mother will always tell you to avoid women.

You don't call me insecure or stingy when you don't know the plan I have for myself. So many things bro.

I just want to tell you that you are speaking our mind. Don't mind the attack from them

UjuJoan2:


He's doing that already nah.

Isn't that the issue with the OP,? Why else will someone that calls himself a man be so stingy to his girl?

Stingy men is a huge turn off for me. I won't even be loving someone that is aka gum. Where will the love come from nah?

If a man cannot take care of my needs then he cannot be my man, simple. I hope to teach my daughters that too in the near future.

I completely agree with you. And I encourage you to teach your daughters same in the future. Teach them to love a man that will take their responsibility off their parents. Teach her that for her to love or grant sex to any man, she should first tell him to sign a responsibility form. I strongly recommend that you teach her that money = love = sex. Let her know that the moment a boyfriend stops taking her responsibility, then she should quit the relationship and move to the next man in queue.

On a more serious note, teach them that they should not date a guy that is not working and that he should devote 8% of his salary or earning to her, for only then will they know that they have a responsible boyfriend.

its a pity so many Nigerian girls between age 21-26 will remain alone and single @45

don't think you are married or in a committed relationship that you are safe. because of your attitude that relationship or marriage can fail


its a pity.

its just a pity

Guitarlife:


You all make it look like the life of the relationship is dependent the boyfriend spending on her and that is the issue.
Do you agree it is optional for the boyfriend to spend on the babe or compulsory ?

If you say it is optional then why is the babe sulking that the guy is not spending on her ?
If you say it is compulsory then I'd say is he her father ? Let her wait and become a wife first before staking claim to a mans sweat, that is why women loose their respect in the front of men.

I insist your boyfriend is not your father.

Obviously I am not in the relationship cos of money, if I was I'd have left since the inception. But lemme ask you some few questions since you don't seem to understand my stand.
Let's assume you have been in a relationship for five years with this loyal girl of yours, a girl that doesn't mind giving out her money to support your career at the expense of her using it for herself, pls note that she has done this for u multiple times, buy you airtime, subscribe for you, still remain faithful to you while at it.
...Do u see yourself paying for only your own t.fare when you and your gf enters the same cab?
...expect her to be helping you financially while you cannot do the same?
...she has bought loads of airtime for u, sub for u but u never return the gesture
...do u see yourself having small change and not at least make this girl know you're not stingy but just broke?
Pls stop making it sound like I created this thread cos he refused to give me money. NO! Isn't it obvious its a one sided relationship which isn't healthy. If you're in a serious one there's nothing wrong with u buying things for ur partner and she doing the same back.

classicB:

Obviously I am not in the relationship cos of money, if I was I'd have left since the inception. But lemme ask you some few questions since you don't seem to understand my stand.
Let's assume you have been in a relationship for five years with this loyal girl of yours, a girl that doesn't mind giving out her money to support your career at the expense of her using it for herself, pls note that she has done this for u multiple times, buy you airtime, subscribe for you, still remain faithful to you while at it.
...Do u see yourself paying for only your own t.fare when you and your gf enters the same cab?
...expect her to be helping you financially while you cannot do the same?
...she has bought loads of airtime for u, sub for u but u never return the gesture
...do u see yourself having small change and not at least make this girl know you're not stingy but just broke?
Pls stop making it sound like I created this thread cos he refused to give me money. NO! Isn't it obvious its a one sided relationship which isn't healthy. If you're in a serious one there's nothing wrong with u buying things for ur partner and she doing the same back.

Honestly the population of women gold diggers far outweigh the number of true wife materials and that is a fact.
Take for example the stand the women supporting you on this thread are taking with one even going as far as saying she cannot stay with a boyfriend that cannot spend on her , even going as far as saying she will teach her children same .

I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If what you are saying is true then call his attention to it and if he doesn't change move on.

He is not obligated to give you money neither are you obligated to do same or give him money either, so try and be objective.

I wish you goodluck, its nice to meet you.
To all the other gladiators fighting me on this thread let us kiss and make up. I am also looking for a gehfriend if you wanna roll you can PM Oor quote me

Guitarlife:


Honestly the population of women gold diggers far outweigh the number of true wife materials and that is a fact.
Take for example the stand the women supporting you on this thread are taking with one even going as far as saying she cannot stay with a boyfriend that cannot spend on her , even going as far as saying she will teach her children same .

I will give you the benefit of the doubt. If what you are saying is true then call his attention to it and if he doesn't change move on.

He is not obligated to give you money neither are you obligated to do same or give him money either, so try and be objective.

I wish you goodluck, its nice to meet you.
To all the other gladiators fighting me on this thread let us kiss and make up. I am also looking for a gehfriend if you wanna roll you can PM Oor quote me

Well, I'd say being objective is relative. What kind of gf will I be if my boyfriend needs help and I choose not to render it especially if I am in a position to? What people do in relationship has a way to go in their married life.he has promised to change.
Nice meeting you too

Richy4:
In my humble opinion, he is not your father... You are not in that relationship because of what you can gain from him.. As u said in your chat," he has not done anything for you except Sex which any loosed girl can get "..

If u don't want to be with him or you did not bargain for a man like him, just go with your 100% dignity ...You got nothing to loose

If he's the kinda guy that helps a friend, he would have... it's not something you can force out of him...But you made the chat look like you were in that relationship because of what you can gain

I want to believe that both of you were in that relationship because of how you feel with each other.. not what u can gain from him.. But if u are fortunate enough to have someone that plan to shoulder your financial responsibility, that is a plus.. but not mandatory....Friendship is not poverty alleviation programme....

In your humble opinion, she is also not his mother. Anyone that cannot give is not fit to be a friend or be in a relationship.

ImaIma1:


In your humble opinion, she is also not his mother. Anyone that cannot give is not fit to be a friend or be in a relationship.

I would have loved for you to define relationship for me...

I am not aware that relationship has been redefined or strictly quantified to be material gain only..

Guitarlife:


You all make it look like the life of the relationship is dependent the boyfriend spending on her and that is the issue.
Do you agree it is optional for the boyfriend to spend on the babe or compulsory ?

If you say it is optional then why is the babe sulking that the guy is not spending on her ?
If you say it is compulsory then I'd say is he her father ? Let her wait and become a wife first before staking claim to a mans sweat, that is why women loose their respect in the front of men.

I insist your boyfriend is not your father.

Its now a matter of optional or compulsory right, we are not talking of a man taking care of all we are talking of a small gift on a birthday,little things here and there a man becoming a leeach, being stingy, even you as a guy would run from a male friend who only takes and gives nothing in return that's a stingy person , you don't have to be a millionare to give.

Even friendships shouldn't be one sided.

Let the man too wait to become a husband before staking claim to wifey duties and this includes sex, cooking for him, emotional and financial support etc and etc.

As if its not on this same nairaland where ladies are castigated on not being wife materials for sleeping for 8 hours.

Anyway I don't blame guys I blame the ladies who give them all wifey duties on a platter of gold.


I don't know the gold most guys have that they claim is being dug.

NoToPile:


Its now a matter of optional or compulsory right, we are not talking of a man taking care of all we are talking of a small gift on a birthday,little things here and there a man becoming a leeach, being stingy, even you as a guy would run from a male friend who only takes and gives nothing in return that's a stingy person , you don't have to be a millionare to give.

Even friendships shouldn't be one sided.

Let the man too wait to become a husband before staking claim to wifey duties and this includes sex, cooking for him, emotional and financial support etc and etc.

As if its not on this same nairaland where ladies are castigated on not being wife materials for sleeping for 8 hours.

Anyway I don't blame guys I blame the ladies who give them all wifey duties on a platter of gold.


I don't know the gold most guys have that they claim is being dug.

Whatever you can do ..do for love and If they not appreciating back up close up

Richy4:


I would have loved for you to define relationship for me...

I am not aware that relationship has been redefined or strictly quantified to be material gain only..

Relationship...friendship...the giving cannot be one sided. There is no written law stating that there should be material gain. But imagine you have a friend and everytime u go out, you are the one who pays for transport and if you stop to eat, you pay for it...for everything EVERYTIME. He never ever ever pays for anything. Please wont you start to distance yourself from him?
So it is ok for the guy in this OPs case to gain materially from the girl but he cannot spend a dime of his own. Richy try to be objective.

hmm, how I wish I have a girlfriend like this op. my own case is difference, my girlfriend has been taking away from me for months but I still do give her even though she has not done much for me, out of true love I give her thousands. But recently d whole stuff is becoming insulting when I ask her to understand I don't have for now even trying to explain things to her she gets angry and tell me were does I expect her to get it from.I have been thinking about our relationship seriously.

ImaIma1:


Relationship...friendship...the giving cannot be one sided. There is no written law stating that there should be material gain. But imagine you have a friend and everytime u go out, you are the one who pays for transport and if you stop to eat, you pay for it...for everything EVERYTIME. He never ever ever pays for anything. Please wont you start to distance yourself from him?
So it is ok for the guy in this OPs case to gain materially from the girl but he cannot spend a dime of his own. Richy try to be objective.

I understand what you were saying. Really I do.. In Op's case, I read the chat between him and the guy before she deleted it and then wrote something now that looks like a summary... in that chat it was as if she was on that relationship for what she can gain out of it and not how they feel about each other... that was what prompted me to make the first comment...

Since this whole thing is on friendship level , if I were to be in her shoes, I will take the back seat a little and let the guy be in charge once in a while..if we gonna go out we will decide who is paying what...that's how it is done in some advanced countries so that no one will capitalize on someone 's generosity,and make him/her act like a fool ..Except if the person says the bill is on him or her.. .. . taxi, u split the bill, restaurant u split the bills, anything friends were doing together, they split the bills.. I still have the options to take a walk out of the relationship if I am not satisfied because friendship is about how you connect with someone...

She should stop fronting herself as if she got it all covered up... Her problem might be that she got the heart of gold and the guy was capitalizing on it.. she should keep her wallet to her self once in awhile...So that when things goes South, she will not feel cheated. ..Except she got a solid reason behind what she was doing.. maybe hoping to be married to him.. And she wants to show her best behavior by emptying her wallet..

Richy4:


I understand what you were saying. Really I do.. In Op's case, I read the chat between him and the guy before she deleted it and then wrote something now that looks like a summary... in that chat it was as if she was on that relationship for what she can gain out of it and not how they feel about each other... that was what prompted me to make the first comment...

Since this whole thing is on friendship level , if I were to be in her shoes, I will take the back seat a little and let the guy be in charge once in a while..if we gonna go out we will decide who is paying what...that's how it is done in some advanced countries so that no one will capitalize on someone 's generosity,and make him/her act like a fool ..Except if the person says the bill is on him or her.. .. . taxi, u split the bill, restaurant u split the bills, anything friends were doing together, they split the bills.. I still have the options to take a walk out of the relationship if I am not satisfied because friendship is about how you connect with someone...

She should stop fronting herself as if she got it all covered up... Her problem might be that she got the heart of gold and the guy was capitalizing on it.. she should keep her wallet to her self once in awhile...So that when things goes South, she will not feel cheated. ..Except she got a solid reason behind what she was doing.. maybe hoping to be married to him.. And she wants to show her best behavior by emptying her wallet..

Then don't make it sound like she is the one at fault. You just sounded like most guys here that always make everything the girl's fault no matter what.
Even if she is showing that she can pay for things, a guy that is genuine and has shame will want to pay for things without being asked.
I can't be with that kind of guy that cannot spend. I give and cannot stand stingy people. Always one flimsy excuse or the other. Giving is a thing of the mind. "Stinginess" from anyone irritates me. It is like a disease. A man that finds it hard to give cannot be my friend let alone my BF.

ImaIma1:


Then don't make it sound like she is the one at fault. You just sounded like most guys here that always make everything the girl's fault no matter what.
Even if she is showing that she can pay for things, a guy that is genuine and has shame will want to pay for things without being asked.
I can't be with that kind of guy that cannot spend. I give and cannot stand stingy people. Always one flimsy excuse or the other. Giving is a thing of the mind. "Stinginess" from anyone irritates me. It is like a disease. A man that finds it hard to give cannot be my friend let alone my BF.

I don't think I can make u understand.. because we are in different school of thought..I don't like the fact that U were sounding like an everyday African girl that thinks that relationship is all about spending money...Giving is of different kind in a relationship, some give time, some give advise on something that might be beneficial to a friend, some gives money .... if a guy out of his busy schedule spend some quality time with his friend playing indoor games and other things..can that still be tagged stingy considering the amount of time invested..Must relationship be quantified with amount of money spent..

Any boy or girl that is in a relationship who feels that a man or woman that he/she is not married to should spend on him or her is a leech.... it's about time people learn about self worth, dignity and self respect..

If u go to a restaurant with a friend, demand that u split the Bill, pay all your bills by yourself from house rent to the little make up u got.. . With that u will have your dignity and respect... He will not have claim over you.... You can call the shots on how u want that relationship to be and even leave when u want out.... That's how independent women act.. no matter how small u have.. u can do it..

Richy4:


I don't think I can make u understand.. because we are in different school of thought..I don't like the fact that U were sounding like an everyday African girl that thinks that relationship is all about spending money...Giving is of different kind in a relationship, some give time, some give advise on something that might be beneficial to a friend, some gives money .... if a guy out of his busy schedule spend some quality time with his friend playing indoor games and other things..can that still be tagged stingy considering the amount of time invested..Must relationship be quantified with amount of money spent..

Any boy or girl that is in a relationship who feels that a man or woman that he/she is not married to should spend on him or her is a leech.... it's about time people learn about self worth, dignity and self respect..

If u go to a restaurant with a friend, demand that u split the Bill, pay all your bills by yourself from house rent to the little make up u got.. . With that u will have your dignity and respect... He will not have claim over you.... You can call the shots on how u want that relationship to be and even leave when u want out.... That's how independent women act.. no matter how small u have.. u can do it..

You are sounding like a stingy person o. How won't someone spend money in a relationship? Aside from time, energy,etc. Is it energy and time that people eat?
So if both of them do not spend at all at all, what would it be like?
Please let's be realistic. As i said being stingy is from the mind. Please change your perspective on giving. It doesn't make you a maga or father to the person you are giving.

UjuJoan2:


Eziokwu? . . . I hope the boyfriend won't be upset when I decide to reserve my body for my husband then.

Can you also get pregnant and give birth for your BF to show your childbearing abilities as a wife

OP if your boyfriend is unwilling to give you money or gift in exchange for the sexx you give him, Find someone else who will pay you for the sex.

No be by force

ImaIma1:


You are sounding like a stingy person o. How won't someone spend money in a relationship? Aside from time, energy,etc. Is it energy and time that people eat?
So if both of them do not spend at all at all, what would it be like?
Please let's be realistic. As i said being stingy is from the mind. Please change your perspective on giving. It doesn't make you a maga or father to the person you are giving.

Becoming a leech is no longer in vogue in most countries in the world . ..A lot of ladies nowadays tries as much as possible to be independent when on a relationship so that no one will feel cheated , or a man will not lay claim on them or regulate / control them.... What do you think gender equality was all about...a lot of women now knows their self worth....

I just want to make one thing clear to you.. Any guy that wants to pick the bill of a lady in a relationship that is not his wife, he just want to do it not that it is compulsory that he must ..

classicB:
So many guys are have gotten it all wrong. I decided to put down our chat pictures, maybe that could have made you understand my point. I am not asking him for money. I have been with him for five years and I cannot pin point something in particular he has done for me simply because he is broke, I am always the one helping him financially and being the good supportive gf, it pains me that whenever he has little money like this, to even buy 500# airtime for me becomes a problem. I just wanna be sure am not with a stingy man cos I don't see myself getting married to one. We'd enter cab together and I'd be the one to pay for either both of us or myself, he hardly gives t.fare whenever I visit him, never buy me anything, all these are making me feel like I'm in a one sided relationship. Broke guys can care for their gfs too, especially the ones that are always there for u either financially, emotionally or otherwise, don't make her feel like she's missing out on something.
No FP pls.

If he is too broke to afford ur tfare then u r being desperate being in dt relationship. U will never see the character of a man until he has money. Believe me he is managing ur cheap ass until he makes some money n dumps u

Richy4:


Becoming a leech is no longer in vogue in most countries in the world . ..A lot of ladies nowadays tries as much as possible to be independent when on a relationship so that no one will feel cheated , or a man will not lay claim on them or regulate / control them.... What do you think gender equality was all about...a lot of women now knows their self worth....

I just want to make one thing clear to you.. Any guy that wants to pick the bill of a lady in a relationship that is not his wife, he just want to do it not that it is compulsory that he must ..

What i am trying to say is that there is no way money won't be spent in a relationship. If my boyfriend buys me lunch does it make me a leech or if i cook him a meal with my money, does it make him a leech? Money must be spent by eithet party.
Whether in a foreign country or here,money is still spent daily