It appears this section has lost some high quality posters of late. While I do not think much of Abuzola, I am sure some will miss Olabowale’s convoluted arguments, although I am not one of them. Those I am sure most will miss, though, are Deep Sight and Joagbaje. Deep Sight for his energy and unassailable logic. There is already a thread asking after his whereabouts.

Joagbaje is the Christian poster whom KunleOsob, our self-appointed exposer-in-chief, has informed us is a Christ Embassy pastor. It is a few days since he showed up but I miss his brutal frankness already. In a way he reminds me of m_nwakwo and chukudi44, who tell you straight what they believe it to be and then leave you to make what you like of it. But Joagbaje is in a league of his own. He backs up whatever he says with scripture citations, even if you disagree with his application of those scriptures. And KunleOshob, viaro and InesQor often do. You show him a statement from the Book of Isaiah countering his WOF ideology and he waves that one aside with his left hand, telling you, in case you did not know, that he has more light than the prophet Isaiah. I saw a post where KunleOshob alleges that the man says James (Jesus’ brother) is a “baby Christian”! I hope Joagbaje comes back soon.

But there are other interesting people in this section. I trust you will enjoy the “Jamb Questions” below which I thought I might put together before time out. (If you are not Nigerian, “Jamb” is a colloquial way of referring to Nigeria’s matriculation exams.)

Sounds bites and the names of section posters, in one place. Enjoy!

***
22  J A M B Questions on the Religion Section Posters
Instructions: If you are an old user, you know all the answers. If not, you have “ask the audience” and “phone a friend”.

***

1. Who is the perfect gentleman in whom there is no sliver of vulgarity, respected across the board for his brilliance, sound judgment and deep convictions? (a) m_nwankwo (b) noetic16 (c) sinequanon

2. Which pantheist-panentheist has little taste for monotheist-henotheists? (a) Jagunlabi (b) Jaguda (c) alatheia

3. Which deep sighted man has a deeply rooted passion for taking Deep Sight to the deeps, possesses high intelligence with vast knowledge that cuts across various fields of learning, has a reputation for “moving things”, and sometimes goes round without motion in circular movements that can stagnate, rather than advance, debates, making him come across dangerously like pilgrim_1? (a) viaro (b) k17 (c) wirinet

4. Who is the Field Marshall who will refuse to get into a scuffle where lesser folks would pull out a gun, reply a rude post with a logical one, has more energy for debating than Peter has for boxing, and is particularly noted for his high intelligence, stubbornness and reliance on sound logical reasoning over anything else? (a) Deep Sight (b) Deep Soul (c) banom

5. Who opened the most unnecessary thread, one that ought to be mass-produced and sent to the humanities faculties of universities as the perfect specimen of “Indefatigability and Obscurantism in Critical Internet Interlocution”, a thread meant to “explain” a rather simple matter (the Oneness of Infinity) but ended up obfuscating it beyond imagination? (a) Deep Sight (b) Googler (c) toneyb

6. Which highly intelligent girl, who denounced herself as a boy, has a tendency to make interminably long posts which sometimes teach you something, sometimes are replete with wild analogies you have a hard time reconciling, and sometimes communicate nothing at all? (b) mavenb0x (b) mavenbox (c) Maven

7. In whose humble opinion (IMHO) can it be argued that cows have done more for humanity than the likes of Jesus and Mohammed? (a) Krayola (b) mama-gee (c) toba (He said it within a context, please)

8. Who has “more light than [the prophet] Isaiah”, and is pastor to His Excellency, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, Acting President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, whom we are lucky to have among us? (a)Joagbaje (b) No2Atheism (c) Ilosiwaju

9. Which “live and let live” atheist became fundamentalist (on NL) after religious folk called him a fool (off NL) for saying there is no God? (a) g1 (b) ancel (c) mabell

10. Who never knew there are riff-raffs who are atheists (a) Aloy-Emeka (b) Mba_Emeka (c) ogaga4luv

11. Which newbie invented the memorable phrase “logic of contamination”? (a) Iyineda (b) InesQor (c) chukwudi44

12. Who is one of the “few good Christians” not failing “to speak out”, a radical restorationist cast in the mould of Martin Luther, John Calvin, Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Smith, is on a crusade to rid Christendom of such “scams” as tithing and first fruit offerings, and fights running battles with members of “CEC Plc” on the floor? (a) KunleOshob (b) tonye-t (c) manmustwac

13. Which of the following is not a bona fide member of MOGANALA? (a) seeklove (b) toneyb (c) k17

14. Which Christian is noted for his high intelligence, sharp wit and refutation skills, adherence to Ojuelegba Motor Park Script of Dialogue, lack of time for the sentiments expressed in the Sermon on the Mount, is in love with the OT God and would sooner see Him back, would have relished the honour of being a subaltern to the crusader Richard the Lion-Hearted had he been alive in the 1100s, and would equally have chaired the Supreme Council of the Spanish Inquisition had he lived anytime between the 1400s and early 1800s? (a) Davidylan (b) Nezan (c) Seun

15. Which pastor is famous for his high intelligence, eclectic scholarship, sense of humour, and is thought by many to have a predilection for abstruseness, even obfuscation? (a) PastorAIO (b) PastorAde (c) OLAADEGU

16. Who denounced Yoruba Muslims for cowardice when it comes to taking up the sword (or the bomb) to fight the Jihad, rues the fact that Allah made her female which precludes her from Jihading, and has been described as “Abuzola in training”? (a) uplawal (b) mukina2 (c) jarus

17. Which pugnacious defender of (1) the Yoruba race (2) the Christianity project, do you need to avoid clashing with unless you have your “yabbing” cap on? (a) tpia (b) saharachic (c) 49cents

18. Who is a refreshingly moderate Moslem, also remarkable for his brilliance and clarity of thought? (a) muhsin (b) Abuzola (c) Abuz©la

19. Which liberalist, pacifist, secular, materialist thinker has a reputation for one-liners? (a) bawomolo (b) nuclearboy (c) ogajim

20. Which young man, who is currently female, took the search for God to God’s acre (spent a night in a graveyard to determine the existence of the non-material), is a rabid defender of atheism, has a longstanding bete noir in the likes of David Oyedepo, and is noted for posts that combine brilliance, wit and gruffness? (a) Tudor (b) beneli (c) easylogic

Theory: Electronic calculators allowed

21. JeSoul averages nearly a dozen marriage offers per day and is seriously considering a handful of them. Since she is a Bible-chewing, spirit-filled Born Again Christian girl, one who radiates “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal 5:22, NLT), prove that she is not in line to be Nigeria’s first polyandrist. 

22. Everybody has transited, the Land of Naira having been hit by a 9.9 earthquake. MyJoe, JeSoul, m_nwankwo, muhsin, Googler, PastorAIO and Davidylan are already in heaven, where they are being hosted by Angel Michael, chilling and having the time of their lives. All are happy except JeSoul and Davidylan. JeSoul is on her knees praying that what the rumour mill has been churning out concerning Deep Sight is not true. Davidylan is frantically tapping away at his mobile phone, his brow furrowed in a deep frown. Viaro is listed to be there, but Angels Gabriel and Uriel can’t stop arguing about him – Gabriel saying he is the same person known as pilgrim_1 who is listed for purgatory along with all the other NL folks, Uriel saying they were two different persons. Deep Sight is listed to be in paradise and can’t wait to get there, but the MOGANALA, led by their chairperson, michelin89, secretary-general, mazaje, and strategist, Krayola (Deep Sight is taken aback to see him here), are refusing to concede defeat, holding him hostage at the gates of Hell on the accusation that he did not do enough at the Land of Naira to persuade them as to the existence of the Oneness of Infinity. Angel Raphael, a keen follower of Deep Sight’s labours at the Land, ignores Davidylan’s sms telling him to let DS stew in Hell and decides it is all wrong and goes to help. He yanks Deep Sight free from the grasp of michelin89’s black, stumpy fingers and asks him to run. Mich promptly dispatches bawomolo, MOGANALA’s Olympic marathoner, who, on a rainless day like this, averages the same speed as Deep Sight, that is 2 light years per hour. If Raphael has empowered DS to run at twice the speed, by how much distance does he out-run bawomolo in four days?

My goodness! I couldn't stop laughing ... I'm almost bursting!

Very, very refreshing! Please let me wipe the laughing tears from my eyes before I sit the exams!!

Fantastic!

www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6 www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6 www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6 www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6

  MYJOE!!!!!  This is just  wow . . . . gimme a sec . . . I cannot contain my laughter . . . LOL 

I vote this post the "THREAD OF THE YEAR" notwithstanding you just embarrass me finish   

but nevertheless, brilliant thread!     lemme go and work on my answers, some of those are tough tough questions hehe . . .

Extremely brilliant!!!!!!! MyJoe is the MAN. . . . .

Nice one . . . .

Very funny thing

MyJoe this is off the hook!!!

[size=18pt]Good one!!!!![/size]

MyJoe:

22  J A M B Questions on the Religion Section Posters
Instructions: If you are an old user, you know all the answers. If not, you have “ask the audience” and “phone a friend”.

hehe, me I have time today . . . lemme take a stab at em . . .

1. Who is the perfect gentleman in whom there is no sliver of vulgarity, respected across the board for his brilliance, sound judgment and deep convictions? (a) m_nwankwo (b) noetic16 (c) sinequanon

m_nwankwo! the wisest man on NL   
 

2. Which pantheist-panentheist has little taste for monotheist-henotheists? (a) Jagunlabi (b) Jaguda (c) alatheia

Jagunlabi?

3.Which deep sighted man has a deeply rooted passion for taking Deep Sight to the deeps, possesses high intelligence with vast knowledge that cuts across various fields of learning, has a reputation for “moving things”, and sometimes goes round without motion in circular movements that can stagnate, rather than advance, debates, making him come across dangerously like pilgrim_1? (a) viaro (b) k17 (c) wirinet

Without a doubt, Viaro!

4.Who is the Field Marshall who will refuse to get into a scuffle where lesser folks would pull out a gun, reply a rude post with a logical one, has more energy for debating than Peter has for boxing, and is particularly noted for his high intelligence, stubbornness and reliance on sound logical reasoning over anything else? (a) Deep Sight (b) Deep Soul (c) banom

Deepsight.

5.Who opened the most unnecessary thread, one that ought to be mass-produced and sent to the humanities faculties of universities as the perfect specimen of “Indefatigability and Obscurantism in Critical Internet Interlocution”, a thread meant to “explain” a rather simple matter (the Oneness of Infinity) but ended up obfuscating it beyond imagination? (a) Deep Sight (b) Googler (c) toneyb

Hehe Deepsight again

6.Which highly intelligent girl, who denounced herself as a boy, has a tendency to make interminably long posts which sometimes teach you something, sometimes are replete with wild analogies you have a hard time reconciling, and sometimes communicate nothing at all? (b) mavenb0x (b) mavenbox (c) Maven

All the above 

7.In whose humble opinion (IMHO) can it be argued that cows have done more for humanity than the likes of Jesus and Mohammed? (a) Krayola (b) mama-gee (c) toba (He said it within a context, please)

Krayo bobo.

8.Who has “more light than [the prophet] Isaiah”, and is pastor to His Excellency, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, Acting President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, whom we are lucky to have among us? (a)Joagbaje (b) No2Atheism (c) Ilosiwaju

The WOFer Joagbaje.

9.Which “live and let live” atheist became fundamentalist (on NL) after religious folk called him a fool (off NL) for saying there is no God? (a) g1 (b) ancel (c) mabell

G1, where is that dude self? he didn't return since he was banned.

10.Who never knew there are riff-raffs who are atheists (a) Aloy-Emeka (b) Mba_Emeka (c) ogaga4luv

AloyEmeka? 

11.Which newbie invented the memorable phrase “logic of contamination”? (a) Iyineda (b) InesQor (c) chukwudi44

Newbie? InesQor?

12. Who is one of the “few good Christians” not failing “to speak out”, a radical restorationist cast in the mould of Martin Luther, John Calvin, Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Smith, is on a crusade to rid Christendom of such “scams” as tithing and first fruit offerings, and fights running battles with members of “CEC Plc” on the floor? (a) KunleOshob (b) tonye-t (c) manmustwac

KunleOshob!

13.Which of the following is not a bona fide member of MOGANALA? (a) seeklove (b) toneyb (c) k17

LOL def ToneyBoy.

14.Which Christian is noted for his high intelligence, sharp wit and refutation skills, adherence to Ojuelegba Motor Park Script of Dialogue, lack of time for the sentiments expressed in the Sermon on the Mount, is in love with the OT God and would sooner see Him back, would have relished the honour of being a subaltern to the crusader Richard the Lion-Hearted had he been alive in the 1100s, and would equally have chaired the Supreme Council of the Spanish Inquisition had he lived anytime between the 1400s and early 1800s? (a) Davidylan (b) Nezan (c) Seun

Without question this honor goes to David lol.

15.Which pastor is famous for his high intelligence, eclectic scholarship, sense of humour, and is thought by many to have a predilection for abstruseness, even obfuscation? (a) PastorAIO (b) PastorAde (c) OLAADEGU

Old macdonald had a farm . . . A I, A I O . . . lol

16.Who denounced Yoruba Muslims for cowardice when it comes to taking up the sword (or the bomb) to fight the Jihad, rues the fact that Allah made her female which precludes her from Jihading, and has been described as “Abuzola in training”? (a) uplawal (b) mukina2 (c) jarus

Must be abuzola's wife, uplawal.

17.Which pugnacious defender of (1) the Yoruba race (2) the Christianity project, do you need to avoid clashing with unless you have your “yabbing” cap on? (a) tpia (b) saharachic (c) 49cents

Tpia.

18.Who is a refreshingly moderate Moslem, also remarkable for his brilliance and clarity of thought? (a) muhsin (b) Abuzola (c) Abuz©la

Moderate ke? lol, muhsin.

19.Which liberalist, pacifist, secular, materialist thinker has a reputation for one-liners? (a) bawomolo (b) nuclearboy (c) ogajim

Bawo is guilty.

20.Which young man, who is currently female, took the search for God to God’s acre (spent a night in a graveyard to determine the existence of the non-material), is a rabid defender of atheism, has a longstanding bete noir in the likes of David Oyedepo, and is noted for posts that combine brilliance, wit and gruffness? (a) Tudor (b) beneli (c) easylogic

Tudor.


So MyJoe, what's my score? lol

^^ lemme do i-spy.

JeSoul:

11.Which newbie invented the memorable phrase “logic of contamination”? (a) Iyineda (b) InesQor (c) chukwudi44

Newbie? InesQor?

I thought that was Iyineda?

Okay, must take a quick dive out for now ... still working on my answers (the exam is kinda tough - I need more 'i-spies', hehe).

Nice thread quite refreshing instead of the usual banters this forum is notorious for.

viaro:

^^ lemme do i-spy.
Newbie? InesQor?


I thought that was Iyineda?

Okay, must take a quick dive out for now ... still working on my answers (the exam is kinda tough - I need more 'i-spies', hehe).

Kai, one wrong lol. I know InesQor's not a newbie hence the dilemma, but I thought such a cool phrase could be attributed to him.

^^ I faced the same dilemma, hehe. But I think your other answers are hard to beat!

Davidylan has his work cut out to win "poster of the year 2010"  

My only problem is Abuzola wasn't answer to any question   There should have been a poser for "most offensive yet asinine poster".  

^^

By the way, I have heard credible rumours Olabowale has been sighted around - either reincarnated or he sent his son. I hope Kunle will investigate and inform us.

JeSoul:

So MyJoe, what's my score? lol

Of the ones you attempted, you missed two, but viaro may have helped you with one in the spirit of "phone a friend". That may leave one!

@nuclearboy
That was a good observation about Abuzola! I just tried to ensure every name got represented in options, as trying to give a question to all the wonderful/interesting characters here would have given us too many questions. I am aware even the options could not take all the name.

@MyJoe:

Olabowale reincarnated?

Nah, it must be his great-grand-child that re-incarnated! The original guy is so dated I'm not sure whether it was he or reptiles (the life form) that manifested first. Angels would have to consult their elders to remember who he used to be when applicable.

BTW, I get your point but Abuzola was the greatest of the greats of NL!

nuclearboy:

@MyJoe:

Olabowale reincarnated?

Nah, it must be his great-grand-child that re-incarnated! The original guy is so dated I'm not sure whether it was he or reptiles (the life form) that manifested first. Angels would have to consult their elders to remember who he used to be when applicable.

BTW, I get your point but Abuzola was the greatest of the greats of NL!

'ntresting.

How did i miss this thread and how is it only one page?? MyJoe pls come back!!!

davidylan:

How did i miss this thread and how is it only one page?? MyJoe pls come back!!!

Honestly, such a brilliant funny relaxing thread!

Perhaps we should set new questions for the many newbies around here.

I.E:

1. Which newbie has a permanent viagra inspired er.ection for bashing religion on NL?

a) Tudor b) logicboy c) buzugee

2. Which atheist famously declared that time and space do not exist?

a) thehomer b)Idehn c)jayriginal

3. Which atheist insists that something happened existed before the big ba.ng, and yet says there was no time before the big ba.ang?

a) thehomer b)Idehn c)jayriginal

4. Which muslim is now winning a reputation as the most sensible muslim on NL?

a) maclatunji b) tbaba1234 c) Olabowale

5. Which muslim could be suspected on being part of the current Boko Haram insurgency?

a) maclatunji b) tbaba1234 c) Abuzola

6. Which Christian is largely viewed as a roaming random fanatic?

a) Jesoul b) chukwudii44 c) Frosbel

@OP Nice thread concept

Deep Sight:
1. Which newbie has a permanent viagra inspired er.ection for bashing religion on NL?

a) Tudor b) logicboy c) buzugee

logicboy

2. Which atheist famously declared that time and space do not exist?

a) thehomer b)Idehn c)jayriginal

Iden?

3. Which atheist insists that something happened existed before the big ba.ng, and yet says there was no time before the big ba.ang?

a) thehomer b)Idehn c)jayriginal

jayriginal?

4. Which muslim is now winning a reputation as the most sensible muslim on NL?

a) maclatunji b) tbaba1234 c) Olabowale

tbaba1234

5. Which muslim could be suspected on being part of the current Boko Haram insurgency?

a) maclatunji b) tbaba1234 c) Abuzola

Abuzola

6. Which Christian is largely viewed as a roaming random fanatic?

a) Jesoul b) chukwudii44 c) Frosbel

Frosbel

^^^ 5/6: You got the answer wrong where you answered Jayriginal. That was Mr. Injustice Illogicality Homer.

Deep Sight:
1. Which newbie has a permanent viagra inspired er.ection for bashing religion on NL?

a) Tudor b) logicboy c) buzugee

LOl, almost picked buzugee..

Hits from when this section was "alive"!

LOOOL! This thread had me rolling in laughter once again

*wipes tears from eyes* Good times!