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Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by MyJoe: 6:15pm On Mar 31, 2010 |
It appears this section has lost some high quality posters of late. While I do not think much of Abuzola, I am sure some will miss Olabowale’s convoluted arguments, although I am not one of them. Those I am sure most will miss, though, are Deep Sight and Joagbaje. Deep Sight for his energy and unassailable logic. There is already a thread asking after his whereabouts. Joagbaje is the Christian poster whom KunleOsob, our self-appointed exposer-in-chief, has informed us is a Christ Embassy pastor. It is a few days since he showed up but I miss his brutal frankness already. In a way he reminds me of m_nwakwo and chukudi44, who tell you straight what they believe it to be and then leave you to make what you like of it. But Joagbaje is in a league of his own. He backs up whatever he says with scripture citations, even if you disagree with his application of those scriptures. And KunleOshob, viaro and InesQor often do. You show him a statement from the Book of Isaiah countering his WOF ideology and he waves that one aside with his left hand, telling you, in case you did not know, that he has more light than the prophet Isaiah. I saw a post where KunleOshob alleges that the man says James (Jesus’ brother) is a “baby Christian”! I hope Joagbaje comes back soon. But there are other interesting people in this section. I trust you will enjoy the “Jamb Questions” below which I thought I might put together before time out. (If you are not Nigerian, “Jamb” is a colloquial way of referring to Nigeria’s matriculation exams.) Sounds bites and the names of section posters, in one place. Enjoy! *** 22 J A M B Questions on the Religion Section Posters Instructions: If you are an old user, you know all the answers. If not, you have “ask the audience” and “phone a friend”. *** 1. Who is the perfect gentleman in whom there is no sliver of vulgarity, respected across the board for his brilliance, sound judgment and deep convictions? (a) m_nwankwo (b) noetic16 (c) sinequanon 2. Which pantheist-panentheist has little taste for monotheist-henotheists? (a) Jagunlabi (b) Jaguda (c) alatheia 3. Which deep sighted man has a deeply rooted passion for taking Deep Sight to the deeps, possesses high intelligence with vast knowledge that cuts across various fields of learning, has a reputation for “moving things”, and sometimes goes round without motion in circular movements that can stagnate, rather than advance, debates, making him come across dangerously like pilgrim_1? (a) viaro (b) k17 (c) wirinet 4. Who is the Field Marshall who will refuse to get into a scuffle where lesser folks would pull out a gun, reply a rude post with a logical one, has more energy for debating than Peter has for boxing, and is particularly noted for his high intelligence, stubbornness and reliance on sound logical reasoning over anything else? (a) Deep Sight (b) Deep Soul (c) banom 5. Who opened the most unnecessary thread, one that ought to be mass-produced and sent to the humanities faculties of universities as the perfect specimen of “Indefatigability and Obscurantism in Critical Internet Interlocution”, a thread meant to “explain” a rather simple matter (the Oneness of Infinity) but ended up obfuscating it beyond imagination? (a) Deep Sight (b) Googler (c) toneyb 6. Which highly intelligent girl, who denounced herself as a boy, has a tendency to make interminably long posts which sometimes teach you something, sometimes are replete with wild analogies you have a hard time reconciling, and sometimes communicate nothing at all? (b) mavenb0x (b) mavenbox (c) Maven 7. In whose humble opinion (IMHO) can it be argued that cows have done more for humanity than the likes of Jesus and Mohammed? (a) Krayola (b) mama-gee (c) toba (He said it within a context, please) 8. Who has “more light than [the prophet] Isaiah”, and is pastor to His Excellency, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, Acting President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, whom we are lucky to have among us? (a)Joagbaje (b) No2Atheism (c) Ilosiwaju 9. Which “live and let live” atheist became fundamentalist (on NL) after religious folk called him a fool (off NL) for saying there is no God? (a) g1 (b) ancel (c) mabell 10. Who never knew there are riff-raffs who are atheists (a) Aloy-Emeka (b) Mba_Emeka (c) ogaga4luv 11. Which newbie invented the memorable phrase “logic of contamination”? (a) Iyineda (b) InesQor (c) chukwudi44 12. Who is one of the “few good Christians” not failing “to speak out”, a radical restorationist cast in the mould of Martin Luther, John Calvin, Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Smith, is on a crusade to rid Christendom of such “scams” as tithing and first fruit offerings, and fights running battles with members of “CEC Plc” on the floor? (a) KunleOshob (b) tonye-t (c) manmustwac 13. Which of the following is not a bona fide member of MOGANALA? (a) seeklove (b) toneyb (c) k17 14. Which Christian is noted for his high intelligence, sharp wit and refutation skills, adherence to Ojuelegba Motor Park Script of Dialogue, lack of time for the sentiments expressed in the Sermon on the Mount, is in love with the OT God and would sooner see Him back, would have relished the honour of being a subaltern to the crusader Richard the Lion-Hearted had he been alive in the 1100s, and would equally have chaired the Supreme Council of the Spanish Inquisition had he lived anytime between the 1400s and early 1800s? (a) Davidylan (b) Nezan (c) Seun 15. Which pastor is famous for his high intelligence, eclectic scholarship, sense of humour, and is thought by many to have a predilection for abstruseness, even obfuscation? (a) PastorAIO (b) PastorAde (c) OLAADEGU 16. Who denounced Yoruba Muslims for cowardice when it comes to taking up the sword (or the bomb) to fight the Jihad, rues the fact that Allah made her female which precludes her from Jihading, and has been described as “Abuzola in training”? (a) uplawal (b) mukina2 (c) jarus 17. Which pugnacious defender of (1) the Yoruba race (2) the Christianity project, do you need to avoid clashing with unless you have your “yabbing” cap on? (a) tpia (b) saharachic (c) 49cents 18. Who is a refreshingly moderate Moslem, also remarkable for his brilliance and clarity of thought? (a) muhsin (b) Abuzola (c) Abuz©la 19. Which liberalist, pacifist, secular, materialist thinker has a reputation for one-liners? (a) bawomolo (b) nuclearboy (c) ogajim 20. Which young man, who is currently female, took the search for God to God’s acre (spent a night in a graveyard to determine the existence of the non-material), is a rabid defender of atheism, has a longstanding bete noir in the likes of David Oyedepo, and is noted for posts that combine brilliance, wit and gruffness? (a) Tudor (b) beneli (c) easylogic Theory: Electronic calculators allowed 21. JeSoul averages nearly a dozen marriage offers per day and is seriously considering a handful of them. Since she is a Bible-chewing, spirit-filled Born Again Christian girl, one who radiates “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control” (Gal 5:22, NLT), prove that she is not in line to be Nigeria’s first polyandrist. 22. Everybody has transited, the Land of Naira having been hit by a 9.9 earthquake. MyJoe, JeSoul, m_nwankwo, muhsin, Googler, PastorAIO and Davidylan are already in heaven, where they are being hosted by Angel Michael, chilling and having the time of their lives. All are happy except JeSoul and Davidylan. JeSoul is on her knees praying that what the rumour mill has been churning out concerning Deep Sight is not true. Davidylan is frantically tapping away at his mobile phone, his brow furrowed in a deep frown. Viaro is listed to be there, but Angels Gabriel and Uriel can’t stop arguing about him – Gabriel saying he is the same person known as pilgrim_1 who is listed for purgatory along with all the other NL folks, Uriel saying they were two different persons. Deep Sight is listed to be in paradise and can’t wait to get there, but the MOGANALA, led by their chairperson, michelin89, secretary-general, mazaje, and strategist, Krayola (Deep Sight is taken aback to see him here), are refusing to concede defeat, holding him hostage at the gates of Hell on the accusation that he did not do enough at the Land of Naira to persuade them as to the existence of the Oneness of Infinity. Angel Raphael, a keen follower of Deep Sight’s labours at the Land, ignores Davidylan’s sms telling him to let DS stew in Hell and decides it is all wrong and goes to help. He yanks Deep Sight free from the grasp of michelin89’s black, stumpy fingers and asks him to run. Mich promptly dispatches bawomolo, MOGANALA’s Olympic marathoner, who, on a rainless day like this, averages the same speed as Deep Sight, that is 2 light years per hour. If Raphael has empowered DS to run at twice the speed, by how much distance does he out-run bawomolo in four days? |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by viaro: 6:30pm On Mar 31, 2010 |
My goodness! I couldn't stop laughing ... I'm almost bursting! Very, very refreshing! Please let me wipe the laughing tears from my eyes before I sit the exams!! Fantastic! |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by JeSoul(f): 6:42pm On Mar 31, 2010 |
www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6 www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6 www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6 www.nairaland.com/attachments/180447_ROTFLMAO_gif3d0c775232c7f27cf80592785b9635b6 MYJOE!!!!! This is just wow . . . . gimme a sec . . . I cannot contain my laughter . . . LOL I vote this post the "THREAD OF THE YEAR" notwithstanding you just embarrass me finish but nevertheless, brilliant thread! lemme go and work on my answers, some of those are tough tough questions hehe . . . |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by mazaje(m): 7:54pm On Mar 31, 2010 |
Extremely brilliant!!!!!!! MyJoe is the MAN. . . . . |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by noetic16(m): 8:36pm On Mar 31, 2010 |
Nice one . . . . |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by Image123(m): 7:32am On Apr 01, 2010 |
Very funny thing |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by InesQor(m): 9:01am On Apr 01, 2010 |
MyJoe this is off the hook!!! [size=18pt]Good one!!!!![/size] |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by JeSoul(f): 2:51pm On Apr 01, 2010 |
MyJoe:hehe, me I have time today . . . lemme take a stab at em . . . 1. Who is the perfect gentleman in whom there is no sliver of vulgarity, respected across the board for his brilliance, sound judgment and deep convictions? (a) m_nwankwo (b) noetic16 (c) sinequanonm_nwankwo! the wisest man on NL 2. Which pantheist-panentheist has little taste for monotheist-henotheists? (a) Jagunlabi (b) Jaguda (c) alatheiaJagunlabi? 3.Which deep sighted man has a deeply rooted passion for taking Deep Sight to the deeps, possesses high intelligence with vast knowledge that cuts across various fields of learning, has a reputation for “moving things”, and sometimes goes round without motion in circular movements that can stagnate, rather than advance, debates, making him come across dangerously like pilgrim_1? (a) viaro (b) k17 (c) wirinetWithout a doubt, Viaro! 4.Who is the Field Marshall who will refuse to get into a scuffle where lesser folks would pull out a gun, reply a rude post with a logical one, has more energy for debating than Peter has for boxing, and is particularly noted for his high intelligence, stubbornness and reliance on sound logical reasoning over anything else? (a) Deep Sight (b) Deep Soul (c) banomDeepsight. 5.Who opened the most unnecessary thread, one that ought to be mass-produced and sent to the humanities faculties of universities as the perfect specimen of “Indefatigability and Obscurantism in Critical Internet Interlocution”, a thread meant to “explain” a rather simple matter (the Oneness of Infinity) but ended up obfuscating it beyond imagination? (a) Deep Sight (b) Googler (c) toneybHehe Deepsight again 6.Which highly intelligent girl, who denounced herself as a boy, has a tendency to make interminably long posts which sometimes teach you something, sometimes are replete with wild analogies you have a hard time reconciling, and sometimes communicate nothing at all? (b) mavenb0x (b) mavenbox (c) MavenAll the above 7.In whose humble opinion (IMHO) can it be argued that cows have done more for humanity than the likes of Jesus and Mohammed? (a) Krayola (b) mama-gee (c) toba (He said it within a context, please)Krayo bobo. 8.Who has “more light than [the prophet] Isaiah”, and is pastor to His Excellency, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, Acting President and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, whom we are lucky to have among us? (a)Joagbaje (b) No2Atheism (c) IlosiwajuThe WOFer Joagbaje. 9.Which “live and let live” atheist became fundamentalist (on NL) after religious folk called him a fool (off NL) for saying there is no God? (a) g1 (b) ancel (c) mabellG1, where is that dude self? he didn't return since he was banned. 10.Who never knew there are riff-raffs who are atheists (a) Aloy-Emeka (b) Mba_Emeka (c) ogaga4luvAloyEmeka? 11.Which newbie invented the memorable phrase “logic of contamination”? (a) Iyineda (b) InesQor (c) chukwudi44Newbie? InesQor? 12. Who is one of the “few good Christians” not failing “to speak out”, a radical restorationist cast in the mould of Martin Luther, John Calvin, Charles Taze Russell and Joseph Smith, is on a crusade to rid Christendom of such “scams” as tithing and first fruit offerings, and fights running battles with members of “CEC Plc” on the floor? (a) KunleOshob (b) tonye-t (c) manmustwacKunleOshob! 13.Which of the following is not a bona fide member of MOGANALA? (a) seeklove (b) toneyb (c) k17LOL def ToneyBoy. 14.Which Christian is noted for his high intelligence, sharp wit and refutation skills, adherence to Ojuelegba Motor Park Script of Dialogue, lack of time for the sentiments expressed in the Sermon on the Mount, is in love with the OT God and would sooner see Him back, would have relished the honour of being a subaltern to the crusader Richard the Lion-Hearted had he been alive in the 1100s, and would equally have chaired the Supreme Council of the Spanish Inquisition had he lived anytime between the 1400s and early 1800s? (a) Davidylan (b) Nezan (c) SeunWithout question this honor goes to David lol. 15.Which pastor is famous for his high intelligence, eclectic scholarship, sense of humour, and is thought by many to have a predilection for abstruseness, even obfuscation? (a) PastorAIO (b) PastorAde (c) OLAADEGUOld macdonald had a farm . . . A I, A I O . . . lol 16.Who denounced Yoruba Muslims for cowardice when it comes to taking up the sword (or the bomb) to fight the Jihad, rues the fact that Allah made her female which precludes her from Jihading, and has been described as “Abuzola in training”? (a) uplawal (b) mukina2 (c) jarusMust be abuzola's wife, uplawal. 17.Which pugnacious defender of (1) the Yoruba race (2) the Christianity project, do you need to avoid clashing with unless you have your “yabbing” cap on? (a) tpia (b) saharachic (c) 49centsTpia. 18.Who is a refreshingly moderate Moslem, also remarkable for his brilliance and clarity of thought? (a) muhsin (b) Abuzola (c) Abuz©laModerate ke? lol, muhsin. 19.Which liberalist, pacifist, secular, materialist thinker has a reputation for one-liners? (a) bawomolo (b) nuclearboy (c) ogajimBawo is guilty. 20.Which young man, who is currently female, took the search for God to God’s acre (spent a night in a graveyard to determine the existence of the non-material), is a rabid defender of atheism, has a longstanding bete noir in the likes of David Oyedepo, and is noted for posts that combine brilliance, wit and gruffness? (a) Tudor (b) beneli (c) easylogicTudor. So MyJoe, what's my score? lol |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by viaro: 3:32pm On Apr 01, 2010 |
^^ lemme do i-spy. JeSoul:11.Which newbie invented the memorable phrase “logic of contamination”? (a) Iyineda (b) InesQor (c) chukwudi44Newbie? InesQor? I thought that was Iyineda? Okay, must take a quick dive out for now ... still working on my answers (the exam is kinda tough - I need more 'i-spies', hehe). |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by KunleOshob(m): 3:33pm On Apr 01, 2010 |
Nice thread quite refreshing instead of the usual banters this forum is notorious for. |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by JeSoul(f): 3:34pm On Apr 01, 2010 |
viaro:Kai, one wrong lol. I know InesQor's not a newbie hence the dilemma, but I thought such a cool phrase could be attributed to him. |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by viaro: 3:36pm On Apr 01, 2010 |
^^ I faced the same dilemma, hehe. But I think your other answers are hard to beat! |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by nuclearboy(m): 3:40pm On Apr 01, 2010 |
Davidylan has his work cut out to win "poster of the year 2010" My only problem is Abuzola wasn't answer to any question There should have been a poser for "most offensive yet asinine poster". |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by mazaje(m): 9:33pm On Apr 01, 2010 |
^^ |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by MyJoe: 11:50am On Apr 02, 2010 |
By the way, I have heard credible rumours Olabowale has been sighted around - either reincarnated or he sent his son. I hope Kunle will investigate and inform us. |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by MyJoe: 12:14pm On Apr 02, 2010 |
JeSoul: Of the ones you attempted, you missed two, but viaro may have helped you with one in the spirit of "phone a friend". That may leave one! @nuclearboy That was a good observation about Abuzola! I just tried to ensure every name got represented in options, as trying to give a question to all the wonderful/interesting characters here would have given us too many questions. I am aware even the options could not take all the name. |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by nuclearboy(m): 1:01pm On Apr 02, 2010 |
@MyJoe: Olabowale reincarnated? Nah, it must be his great-grand-child that re-incarnated! The original guy is so dated I'm not sure whether it was he or reptiles (the life form) that manifested first. Angels would have to consult their elders to remember who he used to be when applicable. BTW, I get your point but Abuzola was the greatest of the greats of NL! |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by MyJoe: 6:33pm On Apr 03, 2010 |
nuclearboy: |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by Googler(m): 1:17pm On Apr 09, 2010 |
'ntresting. |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by Nobody: 4:51pm On Jul 03, 2012 |
How did i miss this thread and how is it only one page?? MyJoe pls come back!!! |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by DeepSight(m): 7:43pm On Jul 03, 2012 |
davidylan: Honestly, such a brilliant funny relaxing thread! Perhaps we should set new questions for the many newbies around here. I.E: 1. Which newbie has a permanent viagra inspired er.ection for bashing religion on NL? a) Tudor b) logicboy c) buzugee 2. Which atheist famously declared that time and space do not exist? a) thehomer b)Idehn c)jayriginal 3. Which atheist insists that something happened existed before the big ba.ng, and yet says there was no time before the big ba.ang? a) thehomer b)Idehn c)jayriginal 4. Which muslim is now winning a reputation as the most sensible muslim on NL? a) maclatunji b) tbaba1234 c) Olabowale 5. Which muslim could be suspected on being part of the current Boko Haram insurgency? a) maclatunji b) tbaba1234 c) Abuzola 6. Which Christian is largely viewed as a roaming random fanatic? a) Jesoul b) chukwudii44 c) Frosbel |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by emofine2(f): 8:19pm On Jul 03, 2012 |
@OP Nice thread concept Deep Sight: logicboy 2. Which atheist famously declared that time and space do not exist? Iden? 3. Which atheist insists that something happened existed before the big ba.ng, and yet says there was no time before the big ba.ang? jayriginal? 4. Which muslim is now winning a reputation as the most sensible muslim on NL? tbaba1234 5. Which muslim could be suspected on being part of the current Boko Haram insurgency? Abuzola 6. Which Christian is largely viewed as a roaming random fanatic? Frosbel |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by DeepSight(m): 9:13pm On Jul 03, 2012 |
^^^ 5/6: You got the answer wrong where you answered Jayriginal. That was Mr. Injustice Illogicality Homer. |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by Nobody: 4:39am On Jul 04, 2012 |
Deep Sight:LOl, almost picked buzugee.. |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by nuclearboy(m): 7:45am On Jul 04, 2012 |
Hits from when this section was "alive"! |
Re: Religious Section Posters J A M B Questions (Comical) by InesQor(m): 2:51am On Jul 06, 2012 |
LOOOL! This thread had me rolling in laughter once again *wipes tears from eyes* Good times! |
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