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Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by tosyne2much(m): 1:44pm On Feb 17, 2018
marvin904:
to be honest..
if a serious storms affects your finance..
no offense buh your wife wont stand by you undecided undecided
shes gonna find refuge in her fathers house and you leave you
That's not true bro... A WIFE is different from a WOMAN oooo
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Nobody: 1:53pm On Feb 17, 2018
Awesome weekend piece. I learned a great deal.
But rich geh any time, and she wouldnt be richer than me. cheesy
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Troublemaker007(m): 1:57pm On Feb 17, 2018
oshaosha2014:
God may be blessing you because of them. I am quite sure you are rich. God bless you more.


My broda for a young man like me who isn’t up to 30yrs, the load is just too much. For real I feel like running with my wife abroad. Last year I paid 4 house rents. embarassed

1 Like

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by LagosismyHome(f): 1:59pm On Feb 17, 2018
Intrepid01:


You are the pefect example of the "woman-type" people have been saying every man should avoid....you really need to work on your psychic....riches and prosperity isn't a function of smartness or brilliance , therefore none is to be blamed for coming short in that regard.
I hope your intending suitors know what they are gunning for .

luminouz:

Similar class undecided
Chai! N this one too will want to marry one day abi
! undecided

grin grin happily married almost 10 years so save your talk
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Nobody: 2:03pm On Feb 17, 2018
Daeylar:
Thank you, I'm still looking for the lesson to learn in his story, ??
Apart from the slapping part which I'm very disgusted by, especially the reason he gave for not slapping her,

I find his post very unsettling.



The lesson in the story is well comprehended by the person who made this quote of which i have reduced to the VERY main lesson.

BabbanBura:

Ladies, stand and hustle with your man, if you must go out to raise help, do not expose him or present him as incapable, let not the help u try to offer rob him of his respect as a man

Lagosismyhome may your matrimony continue to be blessed with peace. Thought i should call your attention as to the very CORE LESSON in the story after reading your comment. Pataricatering too.

3 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Boss13: 2:04pm On Feb 17, 2018
Kokaine:
superb!!!

i screen grabbed this post for future references. i wish we could have a whatsapp group where issues like this are laid bare and resounded regularly by experienced people. nice words bro!

It is very important especially for Bachelors and men in early marriages. At one point in a marriage comes the adversity. To weather that storm and come out successfully together, is what I define as a good marriage.

4 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by TVAofMS: 2:06pm On Feb 17, 2018
Troublemaker007:


Bro, your case is even good. Mine, I am not just the bread winner in my family but the bakery to my wife’s family, my only sister, her husband (jobless) and daughter plus anothe baby on the way, my aunt who single handily sponsored me to school and her family (3 kids and a jobless husband who got fired last two years from his lecturing job). Sometimes I feel like running away with my wife.

You mentioned several people depending on you financially. Most were your own relatives. Yet, only from your wife would you like to rum from, not from everyone else. Is your wife the reason or sole reason for your troubles?

4 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Intrepid01(m): 2:11pm On Feb 17, 2018
LagosismyHome:




grin grin happily married almost 10 years so save your talk

okay. ...we'll see.
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by tosyne2much(m): 2:11pm On Feb 17, 2018
munas:



And who will you put as next of kin? your relatives?

I pity you...

The way your children will suffer in the event that something terrible happens to you along the line wll make you cry from the grave.

When you put your relatives there,you will be surprised to see how they will pounce on your belongings like hungry lions and leave your children out. Dont even try it
Don't mind that guy jawe.. Leave him let him use his family members as his next of kin instead of his wife.

Very funny stuff you read here on Nairaland

3 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Boss13: 2:13pm On Feb 17, 2018
HenryCavill:
Interesting post although it reeks of pride.
1. Your in-laws rarely visited you and you found a problem with it.
2. When things took a downward turn they became more involved you had a problem with it
3. I find it shocking that what stopped you from "slapping your wife to remove her make-up" was the fear of the state govt interfering.

Having put your business out there, I'm sure you don't mind if I make it my business also and contribute my 2 cents.

Had your relatively well to do in-laws not meddled when things took a downward turn with you I'm pretty sure someone would have called them wicked for not bothering.
Your story about them being relatively wealthier I believe was told from a place of spite and jealousy.

You didn't come from a broke background too, I mean how many people can afford to buy themselves a car talk more of give their child one after graduation.

I don't think you like your in-laws very much and frankly you don't love your wife either. You're bent on becoming more successful than them not solely for your own good but to rub it in their nose.

I don't know the relationship you have with them but I can bet it's a toxic one. Who gets angry at a father sending his daughter money married or not. This silly African mentality of men owning their wives is what's driving this narrative. What do you even mean by "luxury food item"

You cannot bar your wife from having a relationship with her family before you they were there and the day you will slap her (which I believe is not very far) they'll be there to take her away from you.

I sincerely hope you find the courage to tell yourself the truth, see beyond your pride and understand the kind of relationship you want to have with your in-laws.



You must hate people who are honest. What the OP has written is nothing but an honest admission. That a man had the thought to slap his wife, but choose otherwise does not make him a devil rather a wise man irrespective of what conditions that made him to act otherwise. In fact, I enjoyed his writing and considered that part as one of his skills of story telling that indicates how angry he was.

12 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by sweetilicious(f): 2:17pm On Feb 17, 2018
Jman06:
Bottom line is, marry from good homes. Homes of learned and morally sound parents. Not the kind of homes where the mother is living separately in one location while the father is living somewhere else. Also avoid the homes of "money-miss-roads" with zero education but bags of money. Those are usually the type of people who don't consider other people beyond how much they have in the bank.
The best thing in life is having both money and wisdom to make unbiased judgements about life generally.
So true

1 Like

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Nobody: 2:18pm On Feb 17, 2018
Boss13:


You must hate people who are honest. What the OP has written is nothing but an honest admission. That a man had the thought to slap his wife, but choose otherwise does not make him a devil rather a wise man irrespective of what conditions that made him to act otherwise. In fact, I enjoyed his writing and considered that part as one of his skills of story telling that indicates how angry he was.

Good comprehension. I wonder how this judgement of 'PRIDE' has been aloted to the Op.

3 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Troublemaker007(m): 2:24pm On Feb 17, 2018
TVAofMS:


You mentioned several people depending on you financially. Most were your own relatives. Yet, only from your wife would you like to rum from, not from everyone else. Is your wife the reason or sole reason for your troubles?

With. Reason beings we started together, work together til date.

3 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Boss13: 2:33pm On Feb 17, 2018
I have read some nice comments and some not so good ones, probably due to difference in opinion. However, I must commend the OP for sharing his experience. It was inspiring enough to rob me off my siesta.

My final thought on this is below -

- There is absolutely nothing wrong with marrying from a wealthy home. Though, spouses from wealthy homes often act differently, probably due to the nature of their upbringing and exposure. I think character is very important. Poor in-laws also have their own issues.

- Marriage is not love, but love is a defining point in engaging into a contractual agreement to spend the rest of your life with a stranger.

- Keep your marital affairs private. I can almost swear that not all marriages are perfect. The moment you involve external parties into your marital affair, you would begin to create problems.

- Wealth is relative. I think the important virtue is contentment. Be progressive, be ambitious but be also contented with what you have at the moment.

- Young men and Bachelors should seek to learn about marriage before jumping into it. Continuously obtain advice from people with successful marriages.

- Women love comfort and security. Rather than secluding the aspect of providing for the home to the man, it would be better to partner with the husband to ensure that comfort at home is better. It also increases their involvement in family affairs.

Marriage is teamwork

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by khome(f): 2:42pm On Feb 17, 2018
May God help you Trivia, I learnt smtn today. Thanks for sharing
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Nobody: 2:43pm On Feb 17, 2018
HenryCavill:
Interesting post although it reeks of pride.
1. Your in-laws rarely visited you and you found a problem with it.
2. When things took a downward turn they became more involved you had a problem with it
3. I find it shocking that what stopped you from "slapping your wife to remove her make-up" was the fear of the state govt interfering.

Having put your business out there, I'm sure you don't mind if I make it my business also and contribute my 2 cents.

Had your relatively well to do in-laws not meddled when things took a downward turn with you I'm pretty sure someone would have called them wicked for not bothering.
Your story about them being relatively wealthier I believe was told from a place of spite and jealousy.

You didn't come from a broke background too, I mean how many people can afford to buy themselves a car talk more of give their child one after graduation.

I don't think you like your in-laws very much and frankly you don't love your wife either. You're bent on becoming more successful than them not solely for your own good but to rub it in their nose.

I don't know the relationship you have with them but I can bet it's a toxic one. Who gets angry at a father sending his daughter money married or not. This silly African mentality of men owning their wives is what's driving this narrative. What do you even mean by "luxury food item"

You cannot bar your wife from having a relationship with her family before you they were there and the day you will slap her (which I believe is not very far) they'll be there to take her away from you.

I sincerely hope you find the courage to tell yourself the truth, see beyond your pride and understand the kind of relationship you want to have with your in-laws.



Reek of pride?! Hmm..

You see, any piece of writing is open to interpretation and indeed is interpreted differently depending on the reader's nature and personality.

Someone who is shallow, and superficial will always interprete his or her reading supperficially ignoring DETAILS. A profoundly deep person approaches it with profundity, trying as much as possible to grasp the message and more than the message to understand the MOTIVE. An arrogant person approaches his readings with arrogance and looks for passages or sentences to justify his or her arrogance. SEEKERS AFTER TRUTH approach a book or writing with the TRUEST, PUREST LIGHT their heart can give and INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY, hence with CONSCIENCE and are CONSCIETIOUS.

After reading your comment. All i can say is that YOU COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD THE STORY. My sincere opinion about your comment.

13 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by TVAofMS: 2:45pm On Feb 17, 2018
Belafonte:


I'll be honest with you, I'm flirting with not marrying and just having children via surrogacy. I have come to understand women marry based on how much you can benefit their future materially. I'm sorry, I'm finding it really hard taking any of them seriously right now. I just can't seem to.

Your situation would not be classified as surrogacy since you are not a woman, or you are not even married to a woman who could not or does not want to bear a child. Your case is simply getting a non commital baby mama to have a child for you.
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by khome(f): 2:46pm On Feb 17, 2018
AntiBrutus:
Aweso The main lesson I learnt is, never bring your problem to NL.The rich are most times better marrying themselves.
Yes, u are right

1 Like

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Nobody: 2:50pm On Feb 17, 2018
digoster:
baba I don find rich gals for abuja taya ah no see. Na only olosho men dey still see.. grin grin
Visit expensive clubs
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by labanj1(m): 2:51pm On Feb 17, 2018
HenryCavill:
Interesting post although it reeks of pride.
1. Your in-laws rarely visited you and you found a problem with it.
2. When things took a downward turn they became more involved you had a problem with it
3. I find it shocking that what stopped you from "slapping your wife to remove her make-up" was the fear of the state govt interfering.

Having put your business out there, I'm sure you don't mind if I make it my business also and contribute my 2 cents.

Had your relatively well to do in-laws not meddled when things took a downward turn with you I'm pretty sure someone would have called them wicked for not bothering.
Your story about them being relatively wealthier I believe was told from a place of spite and jealousy.

You didn't come from a broke background too, I mean how many people can afford to buy themselves a car talk more of give their child one after graduation.

I don't think you like your in-laws very much and frankly you don't love your wife either. You're bent on becoming more successful than them not solely for your own good but to rub it in their nose.

I don't know the relationship you have with them but I can bet it's a toxic one. Who gets angry at a father sending his daughter money married or not. This silly African mentality of men owning their wives is what's driving this narrative. What do you even mean by "luxury food item"

You cannot bar your wife from having a relationship with her family before you they were there and the day you will slap her (which I believe is not very far) they'll be there to take her away from you.

I sincerely hope you find the courage to tell yourself the truth, see beyond your pride and understand the kind of relationship you want to have with your in-laws.


So you think
1.The Op was proud enough to handle the situation so well.
2. They became involved in his family's business, they decided to do take decisions behind his back or you don't feel he should be involved.
3. His ability to refrain himself (self-control) is still a problem to you.
He managed his family well. He stated where he decided to put his kids in a school where he could afford. Then when things got better he sent gifts and maintained physical presence. Do you want him to go and live with his in-laws to build a better relationship with them?
People have learnt from this but the only thing you can see is his PRIDE and TOXIC relationship with his in-laws. I'm amazed at how you think.

12 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Dearlord(m): 2:55pm On Feb 17, 2018
This is the kind of post that made me to join Nairaland, I wish that I will be seeing something like this everyday unlike the unnecessary post littering everywhere on Nairaland.

3 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by marvin904(m): 2:56pm On Feb 17, 2018
tosyne2much:
That's not true bro... A WIFE is different from a WOMAN oooo



in other-words he doesn't have a wife undecided undecided
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by manga5: 2:58pm On Feb 17, 2018
Trivia:


I never thought of it in that light. But I understand you. You are right
I like your humility. It will be well with your household in Jesus Name

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by TVAofMS: 3:01pm On Feb 17, 2018
Intrepid01:


Hmmm..Nigerians and their unfounded statistical figures...All woman don't think like this...I've met and I know women who do t reason like this at all....My Cousin's husband ....from his own mouth, told me how his FIL (who was notably rich) told him I have no expectation for you, told him he never started from the top too and my Cousin was a type of woman sent to him from heaven....he told me all this with his own mouth.

The fact that we now have more ladies who do not have believe marriage values anymore or have faulty perception about marriage doesn't make it a general case.....The problem we all seem to be addressing from different angles; be it politics, marriage, religion etc...is the fast evading "Family Value" that is built on morality, loyalty, God's submission rather than societal dictate.

Correct. It can't be all women, neither can it be all men being lumped into one basket.
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by SweetyZinta(f): 3:02pm On Feb 17, 2018
Op is a living Legend cheesy






Thank God for your wisdom, patience and resilience. May God continue to bless your home beyond measures. Thanks for sharing this story with us.
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by LagosismyHome(f): 3:03pm On Feb 17, 2018
WORDWORLD:


Lagosismyhome may your matrimony continue to be blessed with peace. Thought i should call your attention as to the very CORE LESSON in the story after reading your comment. Pataricatering too.

May your home or future home be blessed with peace too

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by DripDrop: 3:05pm On Feb 17, 2018
WORDWORLD:


Reek of pride?! Hmm..

You see, any piece of writing is open to interpretation and indeed is interpreted differently depending on the reader's nature and personality.

Someone who is shallow, and superficial will always interprete his or her reading supperficially ignoring DETAILS. A profoundly deep person approaches it with profundity, trying as much as possible to grasp the message and more than the message to understand the MOTIVE. An arrogant person approaches his readings with arrogance and looks for passages or sentences to justify his or her arrogance. SEEKERS AFTER TRUTH approach a book or writing with the TRUEST, PUREST LIGHT their heart can give and INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY, hence with CONSCIENCE and are CONSCIETIOUS.

After reading your comment. All i can say is that YOU COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD THE STORY. My sincere opinion about your comment.




My thoughts exactly. God bless you.
There is always that one person who will decide to say rubbish and tink they are makin sense

1 Like

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by TVAofMS: 3:07pm On Feb 17, 2018
Troublemaker007:


With. Reason beings we started together, work together til date.

Gotcha! Sorry, I misread that part. Yes, run with her, not from her. You are a good man. May God help you come out of your finacial woes.
Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by HenryCavill: 3:08pm On Feb 17, 2018
I understand your point of view and I can tell that you're a very logical person. You see, my comments came not as a result of my interpretation of his story but as a result of his MOTIVES.

This write up, beautiful as it is, is plagued with the writer's inability to come to terms with the fact that his in-laws are on a higher standing financially than he is.

The issues he raised are banal and in my opinion do not warrant his feelings of "batteredness" that pushed him to write this.

He doesn't seem like a very humble person if the mere fact that his in-laws offered to pay his children's fees riled him up. He could have politely declined and not think about slapping his wife.



WORDWORLD:


Reek of pride?! Hmm..

You see, any piece of writing is open to interpretation and indeed is interpreted differently depending on the reader's nature and personality.

Someone who is shallow, and superficial will always interprete his or her reading supperficially ignoring DETAILS. A profoundly deep person approaches it with profundity, trying as much as possible to grasp the message and more than the message to understand the MOTIVE. An arrogant person approaches his readings with arrogance and looks for passages or sentences to justify his or her arrogance. SEEKERS AFTER TRUTH approach a book or writing with the TRUEST, PUREST LIGHT their heart can give and INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY, hence with CONSCIENCE and are CONSCIETIOUS.

After reading your comment. All i can say is that YOU COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD THE STORY. My sincere opinion about your comment.



5 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by KpagoGIN(m): 3:08pm On Feb 17, 2018
WORDWORLD:


Reek of pride?! Hmm..

You see, any piece of writing is open to interpretation and indeed is interpreted differently depending on the reader's nature and personality.

Someone who is shallow, and superficial will always interprete his or her reading supperficially ignoring DETAILS. A profoundly deep person approaches it with profundity, trying as much as possible to grasp the message and more than the message to understand the MOTIVE. An arrogant person approaches his readings with arrogance and looks for passages or sentences to justify his or her arrogance. SEEKERS AFTER TRUTH approach a book or writing with the TRUEST, PUREST LIGHT their heart can give and INTELLECTUAL CAPACITY, hence with CONSCIENCE and are CONSCIETIOUS.

After reading your comment. All i can say is that YOU COMPLETELY MISUNDERSTOOD THE STORY. My sincere opinion about your comment.



Word!

3 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by TVAofMS: 3:11pm On Feb 17, 2018
Boss13:


You Comment like someone who is not married. The poster has given a very valuable advice from his experience. Reading this you can decipher from a man who is matured and understands consequences.

Learn from him

Actually most commenting on here appear unmarried and therefore have zero knowledge of what marriage is about.

2 Likes

Re: Lessons From Marrying From A Rich Family by Nobody: 3:12pm On Feb 17, 2018
HenryCavill:
I understand your point of view and I can tell that you're a very logical person. You see, my comments came not as a result of my interpretation of his story but as a result of his MOTIVES.

This write up, beautiful as it is, is plagued with the writer's inability to come to terms with the fact that his in-laws are on a higher standing financially than he is.

The issues he raised are banal and in my opinion do not warrant his feelings of "batteredness" that pushed him to write this.

He doesn't seem like a very humble person if the mere fact that his in-laws offered to pay his children's fees riled him up. He could have politely declined and not think about slapping his wife.





WOW @ is plagued with the writer's inability to come to terms with the fact that his in-laws are on a higher standing financially than he is.

Proof @ The issues he raised are banal

Speculative @ He doesn't seem like a very humble person if the mere fact that his in-laws offered to pay his children's fees riled him up.

Thinking, now a crime @ He could have politely declined and not think about slapping his wife. How bout applaud for self-control, restrain and thoughtfulness?

Smh @ do not warrant his feelings of "batteredness" that pushed him to write this.

4 Likes

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