Atlantia:

Don't take your frustrations out on me.

You clearly have a problem with being objective.

Goalpost shifting. Your aunt if it's so... she's a useless woman. I am going to dig her lifestory out.

Lightening:


You and madam are both confused because you are contradicting yourselves. She is sad about how she raised her children to become independent to the extent of lamenting about it online, but claims to be happy about the divorce which caused it. How preposterous? Hope her medical certificate will take care of her at old age. Admitting her failure at the home front is good, but her healing will be complete when she overcomes her pride.

well said , I don't see any difference bw she and one who Is childless , her children do not see her as their mother hence they dont reply her message until after two weeks .
what A shame !

Atlantia:

You said it yourself...Why then are you giving yourself a headache?

Now that she's granted a public interview... I am free to involve

Atlantia:

According to you, she's a failure for not being able to juggle an educational career and a balanced family life.
That's your opinion and I respect it... does your opinion affect her as a human being? No it doesn't. Does it affect me? Not in the least.

She raised up responsible and independent children. Although she regrets not having a closer relationship with them, I say she's a success.

But then... we cannot always agree, can we?!

Failure is relative. By saying she is a failure, I was referring to the "home front". My opinion obviously cannot affect her because she is yet to see my opinion unless you send this link to her. So, that point of yours does not follow. Moreover, it is obvious she is depressed and has been affected by other opinions. Hence, the reasons for her rants and undertone regrets.

Having said that, seems alot of you do not know what "independent " means. Even though she used the word "independent", the write up does not paint "independence ". It paints a picture of resentment towards one's family and that's the part you're turning a blind eye to and not analysing well.

Moreover, how can you tell that she raised responsible children? Because they are in the UK? Or what?? Doesn't it even beg the question for you to say that she "raised" when she was never there? The only thing she seems to have done which we can attest to is the fact that the children came through her birth canal and even madd women are capable of this too. We do not even know the children's source of funding and I won't be surprised if her own money is meant for holidays and jamborees while the husband gives the children the best with his hard earned cash. So, my dear, she is a failure. I repeat!

trustyshoess:
It's true tho

ok

Xisnin:


Shut up. Married women do [b]whatever [/b]they want but you are too dumb to realise that the woman
divorced primarily to face her career.

You have quite a few problems including, but not limited to, a severe lack of comprehension and a primarily acutely emtional response to relatively banal situations. Please, carry your rabies away from me.

monex:

indeed. people easily assume that men don't get pressured. the only difference between the pressure men and women suffer is that women also have to deal with the additional pressure of biological clock.

Family, friends, colleagues never waste time to remind me about marriage. Even single female colleagues older than me do same.

The human male species have kept quiet long enough, and it's time to speak out and fight for our own welfare. We do not deserve less than our female counterparts even though we constantly get the short end if the stick. My people are looking at me like " dude, what's the hold up?" But outchea, women aren't looking to be wives. They're all about getting as much attention and money they can get from numerous males. I deserve better than wiring the hoes that have populated the earth.

Everybody has a decision to make. Career or family? It is good however to blend the two together--children raised in a family where mother has no time and father is divorced may grow up to have no belief in family unity and togetherness-they tend to do things as they like imitating BAD example of their parents.Family unity should not be allowed to suffer BC of career which is temporary and frustrating at times., unlike family togetherness that endures forever

Belafonte:


You have quite a few problems including, bit not limited to, a severe lack of comprehension and a primarily acutely emtional response to relatively banal situations. Please, carry your rabies away from me.

She rabid..cos they're intimate. I suspect a same-sex couple situation

Tollzara:
She had to abandon her children because of her career? Why should there even be the question of abandoning one for the other? What did her husband do wrong to warrant divorce? She didn't say. Does that mean she made her marital vows with a mendacious tongue, if she could divorce him when she felt like, without any justifiable or cogent reason {which she should have stated, since the man is a human being with feelings, and there were obligations and responsibilities that marriage demanded of her which would have been part of his expectations towards her-----if she divorced him simply because she felt like, then it is no different from telling him that he's of no consequence and only her own feelings mattered, in which case, why did she decide to get married in the first place?}?

She could have saved her career and family, no? Or didn't she have responsibilities towards those kids? If she didn't care, she shouldn't have had them. She could remain single and childless, if she wanted to live as a single and childless woman. No one has the right to behave anyhow they want when dealing with humans-----human beings are not toys or inanimate objects.

I believe there was no need to abandon her family for her career, since it was possible to keep both. She wasn't engrossed in any project to build bridges to heaven or dig tunnels to hell. She works in academia and I don't see how that stops her from having time for her family. Or is she the only one in her line of work who's passionate about building a career?

She's just an irresponsible and self-centered woman, and there's everything worth condemning about her. No one should emulate such a shitty life.

As much as I respect your views, I have to disagree with a few points you made.

Not everyone is cut out for marriage. Not every woman can handle being a mother.
You raised a salient point when you talked about the responsibilities she had towards her children. I also agree that she should have stayed single if she knew she couldn't juggle a career along with the burden of raising children.

Seeing as I'm not aware of her private affairs and she didn't divulge all the details of the divorce, I have no way of knowing what went on between she and her husband before their separation.
There are several avenues to consider and calling her irresponsible and self-centred will change nothing.

What I do not agree with is the name-calling. It's always easy for us to judge people and the decisions they make without having first-hand knowledge of what made them follow that path.

dominique:
Before fellas start dancing on this thread, read this



Shes not sad about the marriage loss but how independent her children has become and are hardly involving her in their lives. If she was to turn back the hands of time, she will still pick her career but raise her children differently. Marriage must never be a woman's biggest achievement in life.

And how do u think she will raise her children differently when she chose her career over her family.

She just indirectly told us that she never invested time in raising her children,she was never involved in their lives reason why they don't need her now. These kids probably started doing stuffs on their own at a tender age without their parents.

And by this ur post, I'm sure u seek to glamorise a woman who walked out on her family and sought for a divorce not because of domestic violence or other reasons, but for the crazy fact that she wanted to be Einstein... What a selfish wife and mother.

Hope u bounce ur family someday to become Elon...

Tex42:
And how do u think she will raise her children differently when she chose her career over her family.

She just indirectly told us that she never invested time in raising her children,she was never involved in their lives reason why they don't need her now. These kids probably started doing stuffs on their own at a tender age without their parents.

And by this ur post, I'm sure u seek to glamorise a woman who walked out on her family and sought for a divorce not because of domestic violence or other reasons, but for the crazy fact that she wanted to be Einstein... What a selfish wife and mother.

Hope u bounce ur family someday to become Elon...

Whaat Dominique ke? Bounce her family? She nor fit.

dominique:
Before fellas start dancing on this thread, read this



Shes not sad about the marriage loss but how independent her children has become and are hardly involving her in their lives. If she was to turn back the hands of time, she will still pick her career but raise her children differently. Marriage must never be a woman's biggest achievement in life.

she knew she couldn't not completely balance family and career together .she had to leave one and focus on the other.she chose her career and she is NOW regretting because her children don't even regard her as anything. don't confuse itself. she cannot choose her career and at the same time be totally involved in her children's lives. again , dont confuse urself

Sorry Ma,But your head that was too full is beginning to clear up. First after divorce, did you stay celibate? CAPITAL NO!!!!!!!. Now another man was inserting and logging out right? OBVIOUSLY YES!!!!!!!!!! Alright, Now that you are too old and you are wishing to have your children and possibly grandchildren flock around you,are you regretting? REGRETTABLY YESSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Hold on, by the time your own parents are dead and you can no longer assist yourself to even get water from the pot, do you feel you need your kids around you then? I DEFINITELY WISH AND DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Madam, you are a professor of N.O.N.S.E.N.S.E.....its your life,live with it...Dont ever mention you are even trying to send any whatsapp messages to those innocent kids, before thunder go.... I hate it when women enjoys life and allow their kids to suffer and later come and sing regret songs...

naturalwaves:

Is it about dancing about the thread or about pointing out the facts? You lot have a serious problem. See the direction you took it to. Her write up is laced with regrets and it is obvious she is so full of herself. Aside that, she is cunning and a foool for saying her children have become too independent. Does the illustration paint independence or lack of respect and disappointments?? If your children do not call you nor respond to your message in good time, it means they lack respect for you and care less about you not independent. So, Miss woman crusader, read well before you spill jargons next time.

if she dies today sef the children might not even come to her burial. what a pity

trustyshoess:

Dude I don't care if I'm 40 and unmarried. If it happens, it happens on my terms or not at all. FYI not every woman gears her life towards marriage. It's overrated

eh

naturalwaves:

Failure is relative. By saying she is a failure, I was referring to the "home front". My opinion obviously cannot affect her because she is yet to see my opinion unless you send this link to her. So, that point of yours does not follow. Moreover, it is obvious she is depressed and has been affected by other opinions. Hence, the reasons for her rants and undertone regrets.

Having said that, seems alot of you do not know what "independent " means. Even though she used the word "independent", the write up does not paint "independence ". It paints a picture of resentment towards one's family and that's the part you're turning a blind eye to and not analysing well.

Moreover, how can you tell that she raised responsible children? Because they are in the UK? Or what?? Doesn't it even beg the question for you to say that she "raised" when she was never there? The only thing she seems to have done which we can attest to is the fact that the children came through her birth canal and even madd women are capable of this too. We do not even know the children's source of funding and I won't be surprised if her own money is meant for holidays and jamborees while the husband gives the children the best with his hard earned cash. So, my dear, she is a failure. I repeat!

You're right..Failure is relative. So you'll forgive me if I don't agree that she should be labelled as one.

I take exception to the UK comment and I'll throw the question back at you. Why do you think they aren't responsible?

You analysed the write-up perfectly and I'm sure you observed the tone of regret. She regrets not 'treating' her children differently. I use the word 'treating' because you might end up misconstruing my use of the word 'raising' like you did earlier.
It takes a strong person to own up to their mistakes and that's what you don't seem to realise.
She doesn't regret choosing her career over her home... That's what you have a problem with.

We do not know the children's source of funding and we would be wrong to assume that she has not contributed one way or the other to their upkeep.
Holidays and jamborees? How do you come up with these things?

Stop making assumptions based on sentiments.

Enoquin:
You all need to learn and respect the fact that not everyone is family oriented. Stop trying to project your own beliefs and feelings on another person because while backgrounds might be similar, experiences and the lessons you learn from that will not be, which is how we have all come to be different.

Agreed. But as people age their attitudes and desires undergo some changes. Earlier she really wasn't available to her children.Their dad was. Now she would like more interaction with them but they don't need what they didn't get when they were young. That is the real story. That's why parents who bond with their children when they are young don't have to look for them later in life.

donstan18:


I think the question should be, Why did she go into marriage when she know she values and can sacrifice her home to her career

Why will she distance the bond of her kids?
Why put her husband in a broken home situation?

How much have you heard a man sacrificing his home to career?

Why didn't she focus of her career ahead of marriage?, why getting married?

How many great women broke their home for career?

Tell me.

You ask all this questions and it pains me to say that I can't answer them...Why you ask?

Because I'm not her.
It wouldn't be right to make any assumptions because we simply do not have all the details.
Making so much out of a comment she made on an interview is a complete waste of time, if you ask me.

Like I said while replying a previous mention.
It's so easy for us to judge the decisions people make when we don't have firsthand knowledge of what made them follow that path.

angels09:

Goalpost shifting. Your aunt if it's so... she's a useless woman. I am going to dig her lifestory out.

I encourage you to do so.

Please dig out the lifestory of this useless woman.

orientation666:


KISSES TO YOU ...WELL SAID.

Thanks honey.

trustyshoess:

Dude I don't care if I'm 40 and unmarried. If it happens, it happens on my terms or not at all. FYI not every woman gears her life towards marriage. It's overrated

Sadist.... hope you won't turn lesby later on due to lack of love from a man

Atlantia:


You ask all this questions and it pains me to say that I can't answer them...Why you ask?

Because I'm not her.
It wouldn't be right to make any assumptions because we simply do not have all the details.
Making so much out of a comment she made on an interview is a complete waste of time, if you ask me.

Like I said while replying a previous mention.
It's so easy for us to judge the decisions people make when we don't have firsthand knowledge of what made them follow that path.

Not like I'm tyna force answers out from you, i'm questioningly highlighting the reasons why she should be faulted and blamed for breaking her home just for career, she should have focused on the career before going into marriage.


Furthering on your motion of judging people's decision, are we both to believe that no one deserves to be judged or faulted by people, even if he/she did a wrong thing, are we?

Jokerman:


Sadist.... hope you won't turn lesby later on due to lack of love from a man

I don't think you know what a sadist means so here you go:

sadist
ˈseɪdɪst
noun
a person who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.
So explain how I'm a sadist

trustyshoess:

I don't think you know what a sadist means so here you go:

sadist
ˈseɪdɪst
noun
a person who derives pleasure, especially sexual gratification, from inflicting pain or humiliation on others.

Sadism is a matter of perspective.... from mine, thou art, due to what you wrote....

donstan18:


Not like I'm tyna force answers out from you, i'm questioningly highlighting the reasons why she should be faulted and blamed for breaking her home just for career, she should have focused on the career before going into marriage.


Furthering on your motion of judging people's decision, are we both to believe that no one deserves to be judged or faulted by people, even if he/she did a wrong thing, are we?

I understand perfectly. You've highlighted the reasons why she should be faulted for breaking her home. I still don't agree with those reasons because we don't have all the details. No matter...

The problem here is this - We have different opinions of the word 'wrong'.
You believe that she's wrong to have chosen her career over her home, trying to convince you otherwise would be fruitless.

We're at an impasse...

those kids are not proud of their mother.....despite all of your achievements in life, ur children do not even wanna thread your part.....madam prof is still proud of that hui?? Well, you can be a prof n still be ignorant especially when you are arrogant.

Jokerman:


Sadism is a matter of perspective.... from mine, thou art, due to what you wrote....

LMAO it's not a matter of perspective. It is what it is. You can't change the meaning of a word to suit you smh

Atlantia:

You're right..Failure is relative. So you'll forgive me if I don't agree that she should be labelled as one.

Okay. Forgiven!

Atlantia:
I take exception to the UK comment and I'll throw the question back at you. Why do you think they aren't responsible?

I do not think they aren't responsible. What I meant was that, we do not have the necessary yardstick to say maybe or not they are responsible. There is no observable evidence that we can use to say that and if you are going by the fact that one of them is married, that doesn't mean such person is responsible. After all, their mum got married and wasn't responsible.

Atlantia:
You analysed the write-up perfectly and I'm sure you observed the tone of regret. She regrets not 'treating' her children differently. I use the word 'treating' because you might end up misconstruing my use of the word 'raising' like you did earlier.

Okay, she regrets. Cool.

Atlantia:
It a strong person to own up to their mistakes and that's what you don't seem to realise.

Okay, claps for her.

Atlantia:
She doesn't regret choosing her career over her home... That's what you have a problem with.

She regretted not being able to balance the two. That's what you failed to see underneath.

The home front and an academic career are not mutually exclusive. That's what I actually have a problem with. I have a problem with the fact that she couldn't strike a balance or a near balance.

Atlantia:

We do not know the children's source of funding and we would be wrong to assume that she has not contributed one way or the other to their upkeep.
Holidays and
? How do you come up with these things?

Stop making assumptions based on sentiments.

I didn't say she didn't contribute or anything like that. I said " I won't be surprised ". So, didn't make any assumptions.

Atlantia:

I understand perfectly. You've highlighted the reasons why she should be faulted for breaking her home. I still don't agree with those reasons because we don't have all the details. No matter...


The problem here is this - We have different opinions of the word 'wrong'.
You believe that she's wrong to have chosen her career over her home, trying to convince you otherwise would be fruitless.

We're at an impasse...

We mustn't have all the detail.

Our opinions should come as regards to what she, the woman told press.

Now, from what she said, do you think she did right?

Atlantia:


As much as I respect your views, I have to disagree with a few points you made.

Not everyone is cut out for marriage. Not every woman can handle being a mother.
You raised a salient point when you talked about the responsibilities she had towards her children. I also agree that she should have stayed single if she knew she couldn't juggle a career along with the burden of raising children.

Exactly. Marriage is not a must. Everyone has the opportunity to make choices and decisions----whichever one they make, they should be ready to face the responsibilities that come with it. You should know the level of your competence, and the extent of your capabilities, so you would be in no delusions about what you can do, and make your choices accordingly. If it so happens that you judged yourself wrongly and made a decision that turned out to be a mistake, you wouldn't be justified in saying you're proud of the mistake and make no apologies for it. Admit you were wrong----no one is above mistakes----and move on.

She didn't train her children to be "independent". She obviously trained them to disregard her and put her at the bottom of their priority list. No one should be proud of that.

So, yes, if she knew she couldn't handle being a mother, she shouldn't have become one.

"KNOW THYSELF".

Seeing as I'm not aware of her private affairs and she didn't divulge all the details of the divorce, I have no way of knowing what went on between she and her husband before their separation.
There are several avenues to consider and calling her irresponsible and self-centred will change nothing.

Yeah. I'm not judging her concerning the divorce. I was only asking questions and considering scenarios that would make it valid to call her irresponsible, which are not necessarily true, since I have no idea what happened. Don't mind me.

What I do not agree with is the name-calling. It's always easy for us to judge people and the decisions they make without having first-hand knowledge of what made them follow that path.

True. But we can only judge based on the information she provided. Except the claim is being made that we should give her neither horns nor halos, since we're oblivious to the details, which I wouldn't contest.

But it's basic human nature to make judgements based on perceptions and appearances----and we can't be 100% rational 100% of the time.

So maybe people should stop washing their linen in public, if they aren't out to make clear revelations. Afterall, she's passing a message across in some way.

donstan18:


We mustn't have all the detail.

Our opinions should come as regards to what she, the woman told press.

Now, from what she said, do you think she did right?

If we are to base our opinions on what she told the press then it's not for me to say whether she did right or wrong.

That's the point I've been trying to make right from the beginning.