Some girls that I had problems with when I was in secondary school, they just stopped talking to me and did not want to be friends again.

Now, my mother died they all came one by one and offered condolence.

I told a mututal friend that my mother died, I told her not to tell anyone.. turns out she did. And guess what, I invited her to my mothers funeral and she did not come? I am now wondering whether she was my friend at all, and if all what I told her in confidence - she went to go and tell others?

I am 24, and today - I who was the one shining, is now rock bottom. No job, no degree. Dead mother, no friends just in a low place and I feel that they know that I, who was once the one ambitious and succeeding most, has no degree, no job and now a dead mother - so the only reason they are coming to offer condolence to me is because they see my life is not good and they are happy, and it makes them feel better about themselves.. because if my mother did not die, would they have spoke to me at all?

There are people who are nice to you etc, when they see you doing bad - it makes them feel better about themselves "it could be worse, I could be [my name] '


Even, another girl I told her that my mum was ill - she NEVER asked me what was her illness. Even, she never asked me whether I work/study .. I thought, what a nice girl she does not pry. However, I realised she is dating my family friend .. and most likely he was the one who gave her the info about my mother's illness, work/study history.

I do not know who to trust.

I feel like everyone is talking about me and laughing at me.
There was this girl who was the perfect girl in my opinion.

GORGEOUS! Intelligent (went to Harvard to study law), seemed like the perfect daughter, well behaved etc..

She is almost 5 years older than me, so I always admired her from a far.

She was my role model I even had her picture as my screensaver at one point.

I one day plucked up the courage to message her on Facebook, I told her congrats for graduating university and I sent her a friend request.

After a long time of waiting my request was DECLINED and message ignored.

I was confused, so I added her again.

After a long time of waiting my request was again DECLINED.

I was confused, I did not have a profile picture at the time but we had mutual friends, and to be fair she did not really know me she saw me once at a party, but still if you have mutual friends with someone and they send you a congratulations message surely you will reply or something?

I moved on with my life.

A few years later she got married and her mom wanted me to be one of the people who help at the wedding. She introduced me to her daughter (the girl I am talking about), and her daughter was really friendly and smile-y and wanted to hug me but I did not go in for the hug so it was a bit awkward ... The reason I acted how I did because I was like, why am I going to hug you when you can not even accept my friend request or reply to my message.

Nonetheless, after reflection I was like let me give her the benefit of the doubt and I was friendly etc there after.

The next time I saw her was at her wedding, she seemed so so stuck up. The people (us black girls) she did not acknowledge us at all, whereas all her white friends she was so loving towards. She is also marrying a white man. She also seemed kind off like she did not like me by the glances she gave me.

I later sent her another message a few weeks later saying "hello Mrs [insert new surname here], how are you"

She made her facebook so I could not add her (the add friend button had suddenly gone!) and she replied 'All is well. You?' and I replied 'fine thank you' she did not reply again. Is that not rude, no THANK YOU for taking the day of work to help out at her wedding etc, she sounded so blunt.

I did not message her again after that, nor did I attempt to add her on Facebook.

2 years later, something tragic happened to me and I sent her a message telling her (her mom and my mom are good friends and she (the girl I am talking about) had been through something similar- I just reached out to her that is all! and she saw the message but did not reply.

How can someone hate me so much?

Someone I literally idolised.

Even at one point her mom's phone had me on block on whatsapp, and her family in general are really judgemental and stuck up. I think her brother has a crush on me also.

Their whole family make me feel uncomfortable.



And then I have a lot of "aunty" family friends who ask me personal questions about my life, one guy asked me whether my brother has started uni - I just feel like they all want to collect information about my life, laugh at me, gossip about me and feel better about themselves

Please help me

Hello dear, iam kinda speechless but one thing i know is that God never fails and he is a covenant keeping God. since everyone has failed you dear, the only solution is to cling to the one that never fails. Make friends with him, he's everything you need right now. Just accept him and tell him to help you.

you can go back to school if you can
or start a business.
you go make am last last. trust me

There's a lot you can do on your own dear, but much more you'd achieve with people around.
Don't be a closed island, and stop trying to force yourself in anyone no matter how important they seem.

From your story it appears you've stayed at a place for long. I'd suggest you try relocating. Give life a new chance, meet new people, try not repeating the same mistakes as you might have made.

About your academics, if it appears sponsors are not coming, try other means like trade or skills and the even if u still wish to go through school, you would be able to afford afterwards.

The bottom line is that you don't give up. I lost my mum the same day I was to return home after service. And my dad married another woman even before my mum past. So trust me, it could have been worse.

We could talk more. Mail me via my Nairaland and we'd get on from there if you want. Happy Sunday.

The posters above me have made so much sense. But I'll chip in too, that, in life you've got to learn how to look out for yourself.

Most people are selfish. They'd only do what favours them, and sometimes at the expense of the next person. Protect yourself from hurt, don't entrust that to anyone else. But if you've got one or two who genuinely care, please, appreciate them. It's better to be surrounded by those who care.

For all those who have made you feel like a nonentity, just let them go. Don't make any effort to keep them.

In all, develop a walk with God. He said in His word, that he would restore the years that the canker worm hath eaten....He said also, that for your shame, He would give you double honour.

God is everything. He's the master fixer. While you set your mind on developing yourself, just allow God lead...consciously.

it wont allow me to email, and i have not seen the email you sent me?

please it would be nice to talk

email me faridaije@gmail.com

please

apprentist:
There's a lot you can do on your own dear, but much more you'd achieve with people around.
Don't be a closed island, and stop trying to force yourself in anyone no matter how important they seem.

From your story it appears you've stayed at a place for long. I'd suggest you try relocating. Give life a new chance, meet new people, try not repeating the same mistakes as you might have made.

About your academics, if it appears sponsors are not coming, try other means like trade or skills and the even if u still wish to go through school, you would be able to afford afterwards.

The bottom line is that you don't give up. I lost my mum the same day I was to return home after service. And my dad married another woman even before my mum past. So trust me, it could have been worse.

We could talk more. Mail me via my Nairaland and we'd get on from there if you want. Happy Sunday.

my brother never and ever lose hope, dont force yourself to be a friend to anyone in life and have total trust in God. No condition is permanent, it may be small today but tomorrow it will be great. learn the lesson that to see a reliable lady and trustworthy one is very rear. meanwhile pray to God time to time to safeguard you from satan and his maid. try to relocate to a new environment and be God reliance.if you can not sponsor yourself please acquire a skill and make yourself happy from time to time. please never commit a suicide, no position is permanent. God Will See You Through.

This OP needs serious help from a Psychiatrist or you're just an attention seeker, always posting this same thread everywhere. Please get help

I don't know you either, but with the way you keep opening weird threads I may not accept a friend request from you either.

Granted life is hard,with you it looks way depressing.

My friend, you are depressed. Depression is a mental health issue and it is best resolved when you accept that you are, and seek help.

Depression makes you find all the reasons to isolate yourself. It blames other people for your woes. And you become suspicious and that pushes you farther away from people. It makes you highly opinionated and without knowing, stubbornly doing weird stuffs. You begin to imagine, imagine and imagine, living in fantasy land. If it becomes acute, suicidal thoughts might creep in.

My dear, please seek help. And most importantly, begin to be appreciate every little thing you still have and be thankful for everything. Be thankful for life, going to toilet, sleeping and waking, eating, etc Remind yourself that others have it worse. Visit an hospital or a prison or crime section of a newspaper and be thankful