Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever," -- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life," -- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign.

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body," -- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," -- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it," -- A congressional candidate in Texas.

"It isn't[b] pollution [/b] that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." -- Al Gore, Vice President

" It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another" -- George Bush, US President

"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." -- Bill Clinton, President

"Traditionally, most of Australia's[b] imports [/b] come from overseas." -- Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances." -- Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

"If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record." -- Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman

Lauin so ard I have tears in my eyes!

I'laffing in greek and it goes..grehahahagrehahahahahahagrehahah

I laff so tey........water sef dey come out of my eyes...........I swear,no body wey no get stupidity trait for body.

WOW. Boy did that make me laugh or cry?? I am still laughing. Jeez.

http://c0dec.150m.com/quotes.html

too bad i didn't find any of those funny.

Funny

too bad i didn't find any of those funny.

I'm so sorry, Wesley. It's a joke for the adult minds.

Oh lawd ! who says this isnt funny?
just take ur time, look into the content and u'll get the joke !
cheers

Nice quotes

nice bush has said more

hi mimie :-


awesome collection, made me grin all through

Why una dey laf them? Everybody makes mistakes abi?
But true true it's funny. 

It's 15minutes since i read that & ma eyes are still brimming with tears. God, dt really cracked me up.

very funny quotes

Nice funny quote.I wonder how and where you got them.
I imagine the length you could go to get them
[b][/b]IAHYou must be a funny fellow.

al gore is dumber than i thot.

men , this is it

i love dis quotes,

just one question,


who posted it? a nigerian or sumbody whose parents are frm nigeria

olulu:



men , this is it

i love this quotes,

just one question,


who posted it? a nigerian or sumbody whose parents are frm nigeria

My Grandmum did,happy now

its looks funny but i dnt get some of it

lol

Lol

:p

dani1luv:

Great Joke

dani dani hmmmmmmm,

Nice one

Your teeth is dirty