blank:
If the mother is too soft, the father should be the one to sort him out. I would be ashamed to go out with that boy as my kid. Can't deal.

Modified.

Just seen that the father is always travelling. He has abdicated his responsibility. There is a place for mother's and then there's a place for fathers.

ariesbull:
You guys don't get it.
This generation of parents are "over-loving" our kids.

It's a psychology reaction called "Compensation", or negative compensation or coping mechanism.

We are calculating all the love we didn't get from our parents, multiply them by a thousand and transferring them to our kids.

We are used to, "my kids won't suffer what I suffered".

A generation ago, communal living and polygamy would have produced slaps that will cure the madness but we now live in flats, duplexes and semi-detachables. No one cares anymore.

And so the madness produces psychopaths who will one day break their parents hearts and eventually kill them.

Jude Idada wrote;
And we raise psychopaths.

These parents who blame the government for their woes and yet can't raise their own children to be sane, civil, courteous, law-abiding and functional individuals.

My friend came to see me with her son this morning.

A 7 year old.

At the door I exchanged pleasantries with my friend and said hello to her son.

He didn't respond and walked past me, got to the living room, sat on the glass coffee table, picked up the remote control and changed the channel.

His mother didn't say anything.

I told him the glass table will break and he should sit on the couch.

He ignored me.

She said to him.

'Uncle says the table will break, stand up and sit on the couch."

He ignored her.

She continued.

"If you don't stand up, I won't take you to Cold Stone."

He stood up and eyes still fixed on the disney channel he backpedelled to the couch and sat on it.

As they sat in the living room.

I served them drinks and snacks.

He drank his orange juice in one continous flow and then descended on his mother's.

He dranks hers.

And then belched loudly.

Instead of an "excuse me" or an "I'm sorry," he laughed loudly.

His mother's only response was an 'Thats so gross" in addition to her laughter.

I watched on.

Sadly.

As I chatted with my friend, I noticed he was no longer watching the TV but was focused on the remote control.

He had removed the batteries and was fidgetting with it.

I asked him.

"Isn't it working?"

No response.

Then in a couple of minutes he had discarded the remote control on the floor and walked away.

I stood up and picked it up.

Lo and behold he had broken the latch.

I said to her.

"He has broken it."

She said to me.

Helplessly.

"This boy will kill me one day."

Then she called to him.

Over and over again.

No response.

All we heard was the clinking and clanking in the kitchen.

I walked there.

He was rummaging.

"What are you kookinc for."

"A knife and some butter for my crackers."

His tone was cold and dismissive.

I opened the drawer, brought out the knife, opened the refrigerator brought out the tub of butter and handed it to him.

He collected and walked away.

Not a "Thank you."

He gets to the living room, sits down and gets to work.

His mother was typing on her phone.

Not a follow up on the remote.

I sit down and she looks up at me.

"Where were we?"

We continued chatting.

She moaned about the useless country and the geriatric President who is a demon from hell.

She complained about her husband who was all over the place working.

She slyly boasted about the surplus money she was bored of spending.

Then was pretentious in her saying that she needed to get something worthwhile to do.

My eyes strayed between her and her son.

He was making a mess of the butter and the crackers.

Then he spat a mouth full of chewed food on the table in disgust.

I looked at his mom for a reaction.

She just rolled her eyes and shook her head before she said.

"No cold stone for you."

"Why?"

"Because you are being rude and disgusting. Why will you do that?"

"Cos it tastes like shit."

"And you will spit it out on the table?"

"Yes."

"Now clean it up."

"No."

"I'll tell your dad."

"Tell him."

"Uncle will be mad at you."

"I don't care. His butter and crackers suck balls."

I was surprised he could use those words - suck balls.

I looked at her.

She could see my shock.

She said wearily.

"I tell you o. Seven year old with gutter mouth."

Then a question popped into my head.

I asked it.

"How come he is not in school."

She sighed.

"They suspended him."

I turned to him.

He had my watch which I had left on the side table in one hand and the knife in the other.

And he had cut through the strap.

I stood up walked to him and collected both knife and watch from him.

His mother visibly angry asked him.

"Why did you do that?"

He shouted at her.

"Cos you said you are not taking me to Cold stone!"

She looked up at me.

"Jude please come and sit down. Ignore him. He is looking for attention."

There was no sorry from him or her.

I sat down.

He stood up.

And announced.

"I want to go home."

She ignored him and continued speaking to me.

He walked to the door and began screaming while stamping his feet on the floor.

"I want to go home! I want to go home! I want to go home!"

Visibly exhausted and fuming while staying calm.

My friend stood up and said.

"Jude let me take him home. I'll call you."

She walked past him in annoyance, opened the door and stepped out.

He eyeballed her and then me, kissed his teeth and walked out after her.

Then he reached in and slammed the door.

Lagos.

Atimeset:
OP you try ooo. I will start hinting discipline to him and his mother. 7 years faa! They are ruining that child. Imagine what the society will look like with such adults in years to come. OP, here's another way of helping this child, how about showing the mother your post and people's reaction. That's if she doesn't feel offended? She's your friend afterall.

oyb:


all i see in your story is a boy who is aping his fathers disregard for his mother. of course, like a typical nigerian, you still blame the mother for this. is it the mother he picked those habits from?

all of those are from direct observation

Cromagnon:
na so your mama raise you
till today dem no born me to look my mama eyes
de dia de form yankee you hia no train your pikin

memories1:
I can't have a spoilt child in my hands, by God's grace. I'll [b]lovingly smack [/b]that bullsh*t out of the child before it accumulates to the point of talking back at me, giving me attitude or disregarding my instructions.
Whether dad is there or not, discipline and communication are major keys to raising a well-adjusted child.
My opinion.

oyb:


You are the sort of dunce Buhari was talking about. Let me break this down to you in a language your slow witted brain will understand. If you grow up in a house where your dad is constantly spitting every where, you will do the same.
If you grow up in a house where your dad eats anywhere and anyhow, you will do the same.

That boys behavior was learnt from someone. And that someone is the father figure in the house.

Do you ever read news? You see that metuh fellow, who brought security agents to deal with a teacher who disciplined his child? That man is an all out thug. Will you also blame the mother for the behavior of the man's sons?

Do you get it now? An even simpler example is you grew up in a house hold of barely literate, unreflecting, manner less parents, which is why you have grown up to be an uncouth bum who insults people without thinking.

Classic example of the issue referred to.

If the woman was more aggressive, she might be able to counter the dads influence, but it seems she is a doormat in this marriage, unfortunately.

KevinDein:

Hahahahahha

This comment got the most likes because it placed the blame on the father, lol. Classic family section.

So you concluded the kid learnt the bad habits from someone and you seem damn sure it's from the dad even though the op didn't say anything to indicate that. And then you had the nerve to call someone else dunce.

Totally amusing stuff here

oyb:


You are the sort of dunce Buhari was talking about.

Let me break this down to you in a language your slow witted brain will understand. If you grow up in a house where your dad is constantly spitting every where, you will do the same.
If you grow up in a house where your dad eats anywhere and anyhow, you will do the same.

That boys behavior was learnt from someone. And that someone is the father figure in the house.

Do you ever read news? You see that metuh fellow, who brought security agents to deal with a teacher who disciplined his child? That man is an all out thug. Will you also blame the mother for the behavior of the man's sons?

Do you get it now? An even simpler example is you grew up in a house hold of barely literate, unreflecting, manner less parents, which is why you have grown up to be an uncouth bum who insults people without thinking.

Classic example of the issue referred to.

If the woman was more aggressive, she might be able to counter the dads influence, but it seems she is a doormat in this marriage, unfortunately.