Am suprise at this age u are yet to have a serious relationship,na wa o.The shame they are talking about is wedlock baby,imagine!!! Madam must u vomit everything,dnt tell them about where u are searching 4 job.let me tell u something they want u to continue to remain dependant on them,they won't find u a job and they are hoping u won't get one.They know when u start counting cash they have to slowdown,i know exactly what it means to be in ur situation we women don suffer am sure if it a male they won't try such.pray to God for a good job or husband,marriage or job will deliver u 4rm this misery me i no advice staying alone o.let ur male friend come to the house if they talk on marriage tell them u jst met hin & u guys are getting to know each other.devil can use anybody even parent to frustrate our life.refuse frustration remain prayful,positive and communicative.Rule out what u do not like to them,don' t be afraid to speak ur mind or discuss with some1 they respect alot 2 talk 2 them.

Water101:
Am suprise at this age u are yet to have a serious relationship,na wa o.The shame they are talking about is wedlock baby,imagine!!! Madam must u vomit everything,dnt tell them about where u are searching 4 job.let me tell u something they want u to continue to remain dependant on them,they won't find u a job and they are hoping u won't get one.They know when u start counting cash they have to slowdown,i know exactly what it means to be in ur situation we women don suffer am sure if it a male they won't try such.pray to God for a good job or husband,marriage or job will deliver u 4rm this misery me i no advice staying alone o.let ur male friend come to the house if they talk on marriage tell them u jst met hin & u guys are getting to know each other.devil can use anybody even parent to frustrate our life.refuse frustration remain prayful,positive and communicative.Rule out what u do not like to them,don' t be afraid to speak ur mind or discuss with some1 they respect alot 2 talk 2 them.

thanks dear

Hey, I can't really say I understand what you're going through but I overhead someone complaining about the same thing you're complaining about on the Brt today and I can say she sounded frustrated.
I know everyone is saying get a job and all that, it's not that easy and for someone that has not done any form of business since birth, it's difficult to just start something randomly.

What is your profession? Do you have any mentors?

The first step is to get any job that can make you leave your house everyday. Believe me, you'll be exposed to more opportunities and you'll also meet people who can help along the way. But always remember to put in your best, that way people will know you're hardworking.

Also, work on your references, look for friends that have their own businesses and work in prestigious places and include them in your cv. If you remember any of your old lecturers ask their permission to include their name.

Finally, try to double the amount of applications you send out. It seems you lack female friends, also try to make more.

I know I said it's not easy to get a job or start a business, but sadly, that's the first step to the solution.

Send me a pm if you need held arranging your cv.

I wish you luck.

Adviceplease:
please say something i want to know if i am the problem, because this whole thing is driving me nuts

1st thing first, introduce your friends to your parents, it's disrespectful for him to drive by your house and not come in to greet the 'house people' before you go sit with him in the car.

Carry your parents along as per who your friends are and I believe they will mellow down when they know you are with the right company.

Not being sexist here, but your parents are likely to pay closer attention to things like that because you're a lady. For a guy, the likely won't give a hoot

Sorry dear, until you leave that house, that is how it will be.
My advice is for you, is to travel out, maybe visit an uncle or aunt, get something doing, even if it means learning a new skill, while you are still looking

blackpanthar:
I have advice for u.... BUT SADLY YOU CAN NOT DO IT....
If you ever went for NYSC.... am sure u can not come and sit back in the house.
anyway... here are things u can do.


GO AND LIVE WITH A FRIEND IN ANOTHER STATE...... A female friend o... someone whom your parents can call to confirm... tell them u got a job there.

START A BUSINESS... visit my thread and you will see a business u can do with only 10k and its not marketing.. and u will not be paying me to learn

This is simple... but u must be very sure that its a ONE WAY TICKET. Once u decide to be independent JUST DO IT and NEVER EVER LOOK BACK.... Visit home but never stay over.

above all.... SUCCEED.... SUCCESS SHUTS MOUTHS UP.

I agree with this. You need to move out

Adviceplease:
my parents wont allow any kind of visitation if it is not marriage visitation, and how do u just get married to someone without going into a relationship first, it has always been like this since i became a teen uptil now, if a guy calls and calls that i should hang out and i dont because of my parents restrictions, once he comes to the house to look for me and they ask him if he is coming for marriage and he doesnt give a positive answer they just act rude to the person and sends him away not caring to find out if we just met.

Your parents must be from akwaibom lol. See some people may say your parents are doing a great job with this but i dont believe that. You are a full grown adult this is not a time for child training, they will just turn you into a dummy such that you will lack certain social-cultural awareness. I think you need to sit with them and explain to them how you feel.

Adviceplease:
I am so angry right now, i feel like my head will explode. i need you all to read what i am about to write and advice me because i dont know if i am the problem.
I am a 26 year old lady who still lives with my parents because my parents wont want to hear that i am living alone, i barely have friends and since i am still looking for a job i am always at home frm Monday to Sunday, i go out like just once or twice a month that is when i have an interview or i want to make my hair, or rush out to see my friend. during this occasion once it gets to 6:30pm my phone starts ringing repeatedly and when i pick it is shout upon shout from my parents that what the hell am i still doing outside when it is so late. i am been so honest as possible, so that u guys can tell me truthfully if i am at fault. i have a relationship and because my friend goes to work and comes back in the evenings i only sitout in his car to gist for like 30mins before he goes home. the other sunday after coming back from church i decided to step out for an occasion with my friend, time was 12:45pm in the afternoon, u needed to have seen the way my Mom started shouting on me that where am i going to, and who do i want to go and see, that i am not allowed to leave the house. and this happens all the time all tru my life. i ignored her and stubbornly went out and it wasnt funny that day when i came back. hell was let loose. i am not really the extrovert type coupled with the fact my parents dont allow us step an inch. The worst that happened this evening was when my friend came back from work and stopped by my place to see me, i sat in his car outside my house in a decent manner but unfortunately my Dad came out of the compound, saw me and when he went in he started shouting on my younger sister who is 24yrs old to come and tell me that, if he gets to come out he would come and disgrace me and give me injuries, that i want to bring disgrace and make everyone feel i wasnt trained properly, this happened some minutes past 7pm today. Please friends i want to know if i am the one being unreasonable because this entire thing is driving me insane. this whole thing is affecting my relationship life. it is so bad that once my phone rings and i am not close to my phone or it is a guy calling my Mom would pick the call and start interrogating the person or shouting on the person asking to know why he is calling me, instead of calling me to come answer my call.
please pardon my typo errors i am boiling presently so it is the cause of typing fast. Advice needed.........Lalasticlala ishilove please you guys should push this to FP i need as plenty advice as i can get.

you never really changed am for them na y.

blackpanthar:
I have advice for u.... BUT SADLY YOU CAN NOT DO IT....
If you ever went for NYSC.... am sure u can not come and sit back in the house.
anyway... here are things u can do.


GO AND LIVE WITH A FRIEND IN ANOTHER STATE...... A female friend o... someone whom your parents can call to confirm... tell them u got a job there.

START A BUSINESS... visit my thread and you will see a business u can do with only 10k and its not marketing.. and u will not be paying me to learn

This is simple... but u must be very sure that its a ONE WAY TICKET. Once u decide to be independent JUST DO IT and NEVER EVER LOOK BACK.... Visit home but never stay over.

above all.... SUCCEED.... SUCCESS SHUTS MOUTHS UP.

d way u mke it sound like it wld just be merry all d way

well if you are NOT A LAZY NIGERIAN YOUTH then u will have it merry all the way. HARDWORK is part of LIFE

nnamdiokere45:
d way u mke it sound like it wld just be merry all d way

This is serious o,my parent were like this too,extremely protective but now they are starting to change but the deed already been done. They might be your parent but you deserve respect too and respect cannot be given to you overnight,you have to earn it. Maybe,you should inform close family members that can help you talk to them. You need to find something doing,that way they would respect you when you go in the morning and come back at night,when its month end you contribute to the house needs.
Another thing is look for a family member they trust,preferably in another city,look for job there and relocate.

Op, although your parents are being protective and simply doing there own part as parent but they are overdoing it. What faith are you cos some parents have strong pastoral background and they don't take issues like this likely. Having said that, U need to exhibit some stubbornness but do it without confrontation. Some points are been driven on parents the hard way. And you can pick up learning something maybe Event and decoration, Software programing, Cake baking etc so as to split your time at home...
Pls note that at your age, the societal demands includes primarily something doing on daily basis like a job or something, marital bond or plans.
Wishing u all d best

My mum was like this till i got married and as much as they think they are doing right by u ,girl ! u might get all f....d up and end up with the wrong person in a bid to just get away. The only solution is get a job and get it fast, if not u might loose urself trying to satisfy them .

1. Start selling something you have to deliver. Post it online, when you get orders and alerts, let them know. Fill one corner of the house with your products so they take you seriously. Go marketing. Still attend interviews. Always let them know before you leave the house and make sure you are making money.

2. Join church, as in, make sure you are involved with a group or general church activities at least twice a week apart from sundays.

If you are still in that house at 30, I can assure you your parents will mock you about not being married more than any other person.

How you even take see boyfriend self?

Embarrassment is better than regret.

Better you damn the consequences now, than wait for your matter to turn to prayer-point.

I am 26 and I am married with two kids and a good job...my parents were like this,but as soon I was 18 I started dreaming to b independent,I suffered all my actions but thank God I stood my ground..my mates forming good girls,I know where they are

Op I understand how you feel, but your parents simply protective around you and they don't want you to make a mistake and become a baby mama. Trust me., no responsible dad or mum would be happy seeing their daughter talking to a strange guy in his car.
One thing is this : Introduce your male friend to your parents. Let him know, if he's serious with you and not hanging around you just to waste your time? Then he should be bold to meet with your parents, as your boyfriend whom both of you feel will lead to marriage. But you are both trying to understand each other and see if you are both compatible. If your boyfriend is not ready to meet with your parents? tell him that your parents at every strict and would like to be aware whom you are dating.
If he's guaranty, you ask him, or are you not my boyfriend? Don't u love me enough to see my parents? Do u see us having a future together? If he's serious, he will say of course I love you and I want us to have a future together.. But if he's hesitant to see your parents?

Just know he will waste your time and real heartbreak will follow. All these men u see upandan, not all of them are serious.
Some are time wasters and can cause serious heartbreak.

When a man sees a lady he likes, within a week he knows in his heart, if she's the type he wants as a wife or not. At 26years, u can't date guys who are not focused or looking at the big picture.

Don't be like me, who had access to-date guys at my 20s, was completely heartbroken several times and suicidal sometimes. The scars of my past heartbreaks will take me to my dying grave. How I wish I can turn the hands of time. I wouldn't have dated the guys I dated in the past. But at the end, it's well in the past and am better off today but I got married abit late.

So my dear, your parents are safeguarding you against wolves in sheep clothing.

Secondly try and learn a skill, talk to your mum about the skill u desire. Make her see the business opportunity in having such skill and enrol in a good training school with focus that u will start making. Money gradually after you are done with the skill acquisition. If your mum supports your idea about the skill, your dad will be easy to convince and sponsor the fees.

Everyday u go to your training school , learn it well. Let them see your progress as u complete all the class assignments given to u

And within few months, U will be making money alongside waiting for a job. Some people are even resigning from their jobs and focusing on acquiring a skill that will yield to good business. It's only your parents that can help u in sponsoring the fees and settling u up from scratch. Let no man deceive u.. No man would want to sponsor any thing or even give u money for training, except he's fucvking u steady and sometimes even at that. He may still not assist u in your dreams of been independent. So talk to your mum first. Be warm to her, confide in her.. Yes confide.. She's your best bet to becoming independent financially.

So don't feel like your parents hate you, all they want is for you to be focused on making it, without unwanted pregnancy. Then any man u date, and if he's sincere with u, must meet with your parents for formal introduction as your boyfriend.

The way your boyfriend present himself to your parents, is the same way they will accept or reject him. He should know what he wants with you. And that's the truth. Not hide and seek games. If he's into hide and seek Biko, cut him loose.

I love your parents. You will either pray for them or curse them in future..




Just be calm. Your freedom is near. Take things easy with them..


When my friends were going out with friends. I was not allowed. Now I've learnt a lot of things.


All will be well..


Be a humble child. Be calm.