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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / TV/Movies / Things We've Learn't From Nollywood (1081 Views)
The Things We've Actually Learned From Nollywood / 24 Things We've Learnt From Nollywood / Things We've Learnt From Nollywood (2) (3) (4)
Things We've Learn't From Nollywood by Nobody: 12:32am On Mar 17, 2007 |
1. Every problem you have is spiritual. 2. In every romance movie, someone must die. 3. It is possible to hit a person without actually touching them! 4. Anyone who gets hit by a car dies immediately. 5. Poisoned food tastes better, 6. The best way to make money is by visiting a 'Babalawo'. 7. At least one of a pair of twins (identical or not) is born evil. 8. There is never an end to your suffering, except death! 9. With a pastor, all things are possible 10. A movie can be titled anything, such as - the boy is mine, Two rats, Spanner, Calculator, 11. A movie has not been made if at least one actor/actress has not- 'shelled', twisted his/her lips to speak wrong phonetics', 12. You are in love, you want to take your girl out, the best place you take her to is, Mr. Biggs, Tantalizers, the beach or the best- take her to buy some new ugly clothes. 13. An Igbo movie has been made if, * You visit a 'Babalawo' * A fleet of cars is shown off * Kanayo 'O' Kanayo is in the movie, Pete Edochie is also there too! * To get rich it is mandatory you join a cult 14. Gun shots and Knock-out sound the same! 15. Most times the title has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. 16. A love story has not been produced if it does not have one or two of the following cast actresses- * Stella Damascus * Stephanie Okereke * Genevieve Nnaji * Omotola Jalade * Rita Dominic 17. The police are extremely 'efficient' unlike their counterparts in real life, 18. An actress can wear the same hairdo for more than a year, 19. It is permissible to wear very dark shades in the night! 20. When you are shot in the chest, it really doesn't matter; your head will be bandaged! Same for your legs! 21. When advertising a movie, you really should shout because, people are deaf? 22. When you are extremely poor, you will still be able to afford- very good furniture, T.V., but you won't be able to send your kids to school |
Re: Things We've Learn't From Nollywood by yvy1(f): 10:43pm On Aug 04, 2007 |
23)the best way to have a conversation is to shout at the person then don't wait for a response 24)doors are not locked in nigeria and anyone can just walk into your house without you having to open the door, hmmmm security must really be good in this fantasy naija 25)Once you've seen an actor/actress in a movie role, you know what (s)he's going to do in future films e.g Patience Ozokwor. Very few of them are versatile in their roles. |
Re: Things We've Learn't From Nollywood by Nobody: 2:17pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
26) There's always electricity 27) Your neighbour's always plotting to kill you and take your money 28) Play P-Square's Chop My Money during a cop chase scene 29) Every other sentence is an ultimatum 30) Beer goes with anything, in every restaurant 31) You wear lace material to bed. |
Re: Things We've Learn't From Nollywood by VillageBoi(m): 2:21pm On Mar 27, 2012 |
This is so funny; thanks for the chuckles!! Keep em' coming!! |
Re: Things We've Learn't From Nollywood by vinderbilt: 12:41am On Mar 29, 2012 |
Lmao.. Nollywood is a funny industry |
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