My niece called him the god amongst gods.

The Pablo of Pablos.

This garishly looking guy we ran into at the Marco Polo Chinese restaurant in Lekki.

He was there with his posse.

Equally garishly looking.

Guys and babes.

They commandeered a large table and tried unsuccessfully to blow the roof off the building with their ostentatiously loud voices.

The waiters fluttered around them like Hot butterflies as the dim lights cast ghoulish shadows around them.

It looked like a feast of gargoyles.

My niece leaned over and whispered.

"I know that guy."

"Which one?"

"The tall slim one with the bright yellow shirt sitting in the middle."

"Who is he?"

"He finished from my school, just when I was leaving. Same department. Just five years senior to me, add law school and youth service. So say seven years. Now he is soo rich. Owns houses all over Lekki, flashy cars, record label, supermarket, pharmacy, just name them he has them."

"Banks and airlines?"

"I don't know about that one. But I won't put it past him having investments in them."

"What does he do?"

"He is a Pablo."

Flumoxxed.

"Who is a Pablo?"

"Ah Uncle Jude, you don't know who a Pablo is?"

"Forget all this - I am a stepping guy - I am trying to form. I am old. Who is a Pablo?"

Laughter.

"Okay. A Pablo is a guy who earns a living supplying party favours to private universities."

I feign confusion.

"Party favours?"

"Haba, Uncle Jude you know what those are na, stop forming clueless. You are not Uncle Jonah."

Laughter.

"Indulge me."

"Okay. You heard Olamide's song - Science Student?"

"Yes."

"Thank God."

"Ofcourse I was just kidding. I know what party favours are."

"Okay, what are they?"

"See you o. You thnk I am lying?"

"Tell me na."

"Codeine, Tramadol, crack, cocaine, heroine, meth and loud."

"You try, but there are many more than that one o. Things that will put permanent comma in your brain. Your life will constantly be in slow motion. Colours no one can see, you will see. Sounds no one can hear, you will hear."

"Have you tried it?"

"Ahh ahn, Uncle Jude. I am an Idada na."

Laughter.

"So how does he get them in? I thought you guys are all locked up in those glorified secondary schools?"

"We are universities. Thank you very much. Expensive to attend. Assured graduation in the expected time. Educated, cultured and wild."

Laughter.

"Still not as great as UI."

"All your lecturers are now at my school in the Ekiti bush. They have ported."

"Story. But seriously, how does he get them in?"

"He uses fly boys."

"Fly boys?"

"Yeap. They are special forces. Their skill is flying fence, smuggling in stuff, doing abracadabra. Magicians. Now you see, now you don't."

"So they are his couriers?'

"Yeah. Like those two there. They are fly boys at ........... The other one is an aspiriing musician on his label and his music video is on rotation right now on Hiptv and all dem dem, but he is an ex fly boy from ........ I heard he now uses him to supply "coolers and uppers" to awon celebrities?"

"Coolers and uppers?"

"Yeah. Pills that make you calm and make you hyper. You take one to hype you up before your concert or event and one to calm you down after it. It is called juicing."

"Hmmmm. So he has made all that money from it."

"He is balling. Baby mamas all over the place. He is like 28 or even less, but he rolls with the big cats."

"But why does he need to make money like this? Didn't they say it is only rich kids that attend your "assured to graduate in record time" secondariversity?

Laughter.

"Secondariversity. Uncle Jude has killed me!"

Our meals finally arrived.

Our waiters were not as fawning as those around the other table.

We still said our thank yous.

They left.

We started eating.

Still talking between mouthfuls of food that was pretending to be Chinese food as we in turn pretended to enjoy it.

"His father is loaded. He was a former minister in ........... government. So he uses his father as a smokescreen. Like it is his money he is living up, but those who know, know."

"Does he know you?"

"Me? Know the devil. Laye! Let him stay on his lane o, before all the blood he has shed land on my head too."

"Blood?"

"Yes na. Do you know how many people overdose in school? Constant. They die like flies. Even in my class, we lost like four people in our final year. They juice, they sleep and they never wake up. Even last year during graduation, one guy stripped naked and ran out of the hostel right into were the convocation was taking place. His mother who had come for his graduation was screaming - What have you people done to my son?!"

"Woow. What did the university do?"

"Do? You first have to agree you have a problem before you do anything about it na. It is silence o. They hush it all up."

"Naaa come on. Rich kids dying and no one hears about it?"

"It is the people that it concerns that hear about it na. But it is a shame game na. How many parents want people to know that their dead child was a drug addict? It is like people saying who died of a brief illness instead of saying who died of AIDS. The school uses it against the parents uses it against themselves. And when the press is happy with brown envelopes and the bloggers know where their daily bread is coming from, no gist will leak. They will kill it or kill your career. Money talks. Bull shit works baby."

The noise was still coming from their table.

"Uncle, you see the girl in that black camisole, sitting two people away from him?"

"Yes."

"Her father is a big gun in the oil industry. Her brother was part of this same crew. He overdosed last year. They buried him at Ikoyi Vaults. But his sister is here balling with the same guy that gave her brother poison."

"Woow."

"Well, he has her hooked. She cannot vex for her supplier. If she dies now. Her younger sister who is a freshman in my school will take her place. It is like along with the wealth they are getting from their parents, they are also inheriting stupidity or maybe it is God punishing the parents through the children, like he did to Pharoah, the Egyptians and the killing of their first male kids."

Silence.

Whisper.

"How have you been able to stay clear of this crowd?"

She smiled.

"The same way you stayed away from joining secret cults."

Lagos.


From Mr. Jude's collections

Is Kunlesehan same person as Jude Idada?

kayceerilyn:
Is Kunlesehan same person as Jude Idada?

.
No ma'am