don't struggle to get married pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, i beg of you.
it's better you cancel a wedding arrangement than to cancel the whole marriage. it's obvious you're not ready and not your fault.

@ poster. Two of the most important principles that guides me are 1) always keep your eyes on the ball/bigger picture. at the end of the day what is most important is to get married abi? people do not remember the aso ebi you wore or how sweet the rice was. what is remembered is that you got married. 2) what if. what if you spend more than you earn and cannot balance up after the wedding? that is begining of how marriages start having problems. If your woman is of a decent breed she will support your decision to go low key because if there no food at home after the wedding then you will understand first hand what it means when people say "hell hath no fury like a grouchy wife"

I dont see any big deal in that.you should give considerations to life after marriage.the most important thing in marriage is the payment of dowry and consent of her parents;any other thing is just an added advantage.dont stress yourself all because you want to get marry,even poor people marry legal wives.

mama-gee:

Tell her and call off the wedding, she's so much better without an unorganized guy like you.

when life smiles at you,be grateful because there are people on the other side life is frowning at.If i may ask you,is marriage meant for the rich alone or would you like to see a man indebted all because he want to get married ?.grow up girl and free the guy

Na by force, why causing yourself untold hardship , wait for your time.Don't allow anybody put pressure on you, You are the Man, take your time

HHHmmm Mama Gee must you even contribute to every single topic?
You sure need some growing up to do. haba. Please try to use your brains more than your hands/mouth

can't the bride support you financially ?

[size=14pt]White Girls! White Girls!! White Girls!!!


It's so cheappppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp


Africans wake up![/size]

It's just a day c'mmon!

Go ahead with the wedding. it must not be done in a big way, try cutting down the list of invited guest. this will help u cut your cost

our girls don tear finish. none of them dey believe God for miracles these days , except for d ones u import wey neva open eye like that

candid advice:

you don't have the 100,000 to spend, you need to still save more for the up keep of your family.
fix the wedding on a weekday and make it an office wedding where you invite just your family members with N40,000 minus wife's gown you can cater well for all your guest who would come to the wedding. the reception should be merged with the church wedding and refreshment should be in church. then everybody should go home, take pictures and keep them, use an old suit.

Be fervent in your prayers, God must surely answer you if you believe. Cut your coat according to your size, God will make fit you well.

Planning a wedding should not be for the man alone, your wife to be should support you especially in finance.

Deal with the traditional rites first and for the white wedding,you can go for a low key one. Afterall, wedding na wedding.

Abi you no go feed your family after every every.

Pray and believe in God, Goodluck.

@ poster,
In some other places, that is enough for you to do whatever you want to do and still have left over to maintain yourself.
But you need to be wise in your planning.

You should be asking or discussing this issue with your spouse to be and not us. I wonder what kind of marriage you wanna get into if, you can't even discuss the process with her

You can do the wedding on a low scheme (Ur immediate family, ur close pals, ur in laws and may be two others). Not more than 20 people.
Get a photographer and a friend to borrow u camcorder+digital camera
25k for the registry
20k for the ring
15k for the food and drink (20people* 750)
5k to Rent a wedding gown.
12k for your suit.
3k to rent chairs+table
5k for the officiating ministers
10k for the traditional
5k for other miscellaneous
Get a car from a friend or relative

Wedding is just a single day thing. Marriage is d koko.
Wish u happy married life in advance.

No amount is too small to marry with. It is all up to you

The cost of running a family is like * 3 of what you were spending before, and if you make mistake born pikin, like 5 times what you spend as a bachelor. Still wanna go ahead and burn money? You are welcome. For my place, if old woman refuse advice and jump fence, them go waka round the other side and carry her corpse.

guy no be do or die aff, go pay for her head and leave the rest to God unless you are prepared to die early thinking of what pple you did not came into this world with will say about you. one love

If you belong to any association or club alight them, they will be of help

9jafreak:

[size=14pt]White Girls! White Girls!! White Girls!!!


It's so cheappppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp


Africans wake up![/size]

It's just a day c'mmon!

Lol . . . . I think it is the culture and we all seems to have embraced it, even when we cant afford it

Fhemmmy:


Lol . . . . I think it is the culture and we all seems to have embraced it, even when we cant afford it

I know people who married with the little they had and then years later they had a more lavish ceremony. You are the one marrying your woman. If you treat her well she will be agreeable. The most important thing is getting the parents on their side. A friends parents came to the US to do a big church wedding after over 25 years of marriage. She and all her siblings are here in the US so they planned the wedding and her parents came here and renewed their vows. It was beautiful. Your life will be much better and more fufilling when you stop thinking about how people will perceive you or what tradition says

jus tell her d truth, im sure she wldnt want to get into it either

leadteam:

You can do the wedding on a low scheme (your immediate family, your close pals, your in laws and may be two others). Not more than 20 people.
Get a photographer and a friend to borrow u camcorder+digital camera
25k for the registry
20k for the ring
15k for the food and drink (20people* 750)
5k to Rent a wedding gown.
12k for your suit.
3k to rent chairs+table
5k for the officiating ministers
10k for the traditional
5k for other miscellaneous
Get a car from a friend or relative

Wedding is just a single day thing. Marriage is d koko.
Wish u happy married life in advance.

I don't know how much things cost in Nigeria but that sounds reasonable.

I hope the groom is saving most of his money cos he'll need something to live on after his marriage.

~Bluetooth:

when life smiles at you,be grateful because there are people on the other side life is frowning at.If i may ask you,is marriage meant for the rich alone or would you like to see a man indebted all because he want to get married ?.grow up girl and free the guy

mirabell:

HHHmmm Mama Gee must you even contribute to every single topic?
You sure need some growing up to do. haba. Please try to use your brains more than your hands/mouth

I think you don't understand what mama gee meant by the guy being unorganised. He is not unorganised for not being rich, far from it. Someone with 100k in his account in this period of recession (I don't have up to that in my account and I am married) is not poor. You can also be rich and still be unorganised. It has to do with how you manage your resources and set your priorities. With the way the poster sounded, if he has an opportunity to take a loan of a million naira for the wedding, he wouldn't think twice. Is that not the height of unorganisation? A more organised guy will marry or wed even with half of what he has.
Anyone who borrows to throw a party, be it wedding, burial, child-naming , child dedication, one-year birthday of children, etc is simply unorganised. These parties (because tha is what they are) are not compulsory as we make them out. Any of these events can still take place without all the funfare.

Court wedding will do justice to all this talk.
100k is just a chicken change to me because the expenses of wedding this day is quite heavy and follow ur heart and do wat pleases u the most.

What is your bride bringing to the table abi is she still a student
so many people have advised you brother. if you have an understanding fiancee(that sees beyond the wedding day and realizes you will have to eat after marriage) then half of your problem is solved
a court wedding is the solution with a small reception for immediate family members and your closest friend 15-20 people at most
dem nor fit chop pass 30k if u do am well
concentrate on a simple traditional marriage afterwards
(i actually know a family that allowed two of their daughters do traditional marriage and white marriage on the same day)
now i need not tell u that traditional marriage on the morning of the white wedding would have been a straight to the point one with no beating around the bush, no dancing spraying money and entering boat matter and all that.Thus saving cost time and killing 2birds with one stone
you set your standards my brother and God on your side with good inlaws traditional marriage can be made easy
if the brides parents are the type that brings list from genesis to revelation (touch luck)
then you will have to delay the traditional marriage until later
a reasonable bride will understand esp if u guys are working towards a particular goal unless she'd rather postpone the wedding

@warripekin,


Guy u gave a very wonderful note here not only to the poster but to all who will go thru this page. Welldone sir.

Bro, u can cancel d wedding coz u cannot empty ur life savings for d wedding.Or if u go do small wedding sha

@ poster

That's what happens when you become your brother's father and mother's husband.

You lived for your family and now you can't create yours.

Think wiser next time.

You are jobless thats why you don't have money

[size=16pt]A friend of mine, who works in a top consulting firm in Nigeria got married

He had his church wedding on a Monday morning 8am reception followed after. Believe it or not by
10 am they were through. People that came after were just starring at the sky; the couple had left the venue 

Very few people were there by 8am, most people started to arrive after 10am (african time, even some extended relatives)

Not that he cant afford it, according to him; he was just conservative in spending because of the economy recession in Naija      

Spend wisely.

He bought a car after; imagine if he had used alot of money just because he wanted to impress?  WHO CARES

After wedding na OYO u dey. On Your  Own  [/size]