Whether you were recently hurt or haven’t been in a relationship for a while, you want immediate gratification and compensation for all the pain and heartache of recent years or even decades. But get a grip and tell yourself there is no shortcut to courtship, things take time, so you must not act impatiently or desperately. You are a CUAO (Creature Unlike Any Other), remember? You need to force yourself to refrain from saying anything too intense or negative that could scare a man away. Unfortunately, no matter what your heart says, you must hold back a bit for your own good.

Here are Rules to help you be light and breezy in your e-mails:

Sometimes giving a man no answer is being light and breezy. If a man doesn’t write you a sentence or two specific to your ad, but rather just sends you his profile through a “wink” or a “rose” (stock-response features that allow you to click on an ad and send your profile to the chosen ad), or if he sends a photo only, do not respond at all. It shows no effort, very little interest in you, merely a click of a button. Just delete it. He is just using online dating for fun, not to seriously meet someone. He’s just cruising online.
If a man sends you an e-mail and he doesn’t have a photo online, say “Would love to see a photo. Thanks.” That’s it, nothing else. Do not have a long conversation with this man no matter how interesting and long his e-mail to you was. If he refuses to send his photo, there is usually a reason. We are not being superficial here. When he does respond with a photo and you like it, do not write “Cute pic” or “Nice abs.” Just say “Thanks for the photo” and answer his questions.
Don’t tell a man you checked his profile, even if you did. Just write back in response to his e-mail, “You sound nice,” and anything else you want to say. Do not write, “Read your ad, my brother is also an accountant, and he also played basketball in college. I love skiing and tennis too…We seem to have a lot in common.” As a Rules girl, you are too busy to be memorizing men’s ads, remember? Even though you did.

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