"What are you doing with that tissue paper?" came her voice.

I responded that I was using it for my monthly flow.

"Don't ever touch my tissue for that purpose henceforth or you face the consequences"!! She barked and walked away.

As a thirteen-year-old old, I was confused at that moment because I didn't know what to do. I couldn't afford sanitary pads, who gave me the money would even be a more serious issue if I attempted. I had to think fast as it was a school day and there was no time. I quickly went to my bag in search of an absorbent cloth I could use as my sanitary towel. I found my favourite maxi skirt my mother made for me, I cut it up into about 15 pieces and for the next three years, they served as my sanitary towels every month. While I was doing this, I watched her pack sanitary pads for her daughter when she was going back to school.

I cried my eyes out severally because I knew my mother will never allow me go through this. She wasn't with me but she knew I was growing and could mentally picture me. All the while I was there, my mother sent me new undies and they were my perfect sizes.

Why are human beings heartless? In all those years you don't want to know some of the painful experiences I had to deal with. Yes, I made mistakes on some occasion and yes I did some petty things like stealing meat from the pot or biscuits. There's hardly any teenager who didn't do that even her kids, but the beating was military style using her weapon (a wire/cable).

There was this episode that played out one time.

She did her routine search of my bag when I recently arrived at their house and found a herb like powder in it. My people, it was LAALI(Henna) !! I was so scared of her that when she asked me I denied knowing what it was.

Don't blame a girl who was avoiding unnecessary beatings. I denied to the point that she took me and the powder to see the parish priest. I still denied it in the presence of the priest while I silently asked God to forgive me. The priest talked to me, prayed and burnt the powder. Am sure she was thinking I brought jazz to her home.

Truth be told, all these are part of life's experience for me because today I see them as things that were meant to happen. I learnt through it all. I was told I wouldn't amount to anything good in life but that has changed a long time ago. Here I am today narrating my stories for the world to see.

I am most grateful to God my reproductive organs didn't suffer any damage due to the poor hygiene I had to deal with at that stage.

Many families in our society take a child from parents in need promising to look after the child. It is expected that the child will assist you no doubt but threat that child as you would your own. Show love to that child because he or she needs it most during these formative years of their lives.

We read stories of househelps mistreating the kids they are supposed to take care of and I agree that it is totally wrong. I also bet if you see the way they are mistreated by their bosses, aunts, uncles you will shed tears. How can you get good clothes for your kids but ignore your help and you expect him/her to be happy? You eat good food but you feed them with leftovers or burnt food. They observe and feel the vibes around them. You hit them at the slightest provocation, leaving scars on their bodies and heart. They suffer in silence for fear of being beaten and have to deal with the mental trauma you put them through all the while doing your biddings.

Be mindful of how you treat your helps, maids, domestic workers!!!

They are other family's pride and joy!!

They deserve love and respect as human!!

That good for nothing child as you tag them might turn out to be your saviour tomorrow!!

The world does not revolve around you!!

Do to others as you wish others do to you!!!

If you have had a similar experience or you know someone who has been through same feel free to talk about it in the comment section, you will feel at ease after letting it out. I have decided to forgive and let go of the pain so I encourage anyone holding such grudge to do same.

Read more on my blog:
www.nakedwithvivian.com

Sad story, a child should never have to go through this.
I have always been an advocate of punishment for people that employ young children as maids, they should get jail term in my own opinion.

That aside, since your parents can have sex to give birth, why did they pass on their responsibility of training you to someone else?

Preach to parents to only have kids that they can afford. You mustn’t have a multitude to prove that you are fertile.

Since your mum was alive, if she had kept you and not sent you to be a maid you wouldn’t have gone through any of these. Why did she? Finances I presume?

You anger should be channeled at your parents.

There are mothers that are bricklayers, carpenters, they fry akara, do anything to make sure their kids are not sent out.

Channel your anger appropriately, and maybe become and advocate for birth control to the less privileged, so that they will stop giving birth to children that other people will help them train.

Reasonabledoubt:
Sad story, a child should never have to go through this.
I have always been an advocate of punishment for people that employ young children as maids, they should get jail term in my own opinion.

That aside, since your parents can have sex to give birth, why did they pass on their responsibility of training you to someone else?

Preach to parents to only have kids that they can afford. You mustn’t have a multitude to prove that you are fertile.

Since your mum was alive, if she had kept you and not sent you to be a maid you wouldn’t have gone through any of these. Why did she? Finances I presume?

You anger should be channeled at your parents.

There are mothers that are bricklayers, carpenters, they fry akara, do anything to make sure their kids are not sent out.

Channel your anger appropriately, and maybe become and advocate for birth control to the less privileged, so that they will stop giving birth to children that other people will help them train.

I went not as a maid but a child whose relatives wanted to help keep up with her education due to some reasons at that point in time. I only spent four years there to achieve that so it wwasn't an issue to channel the blame to parents.

Vivianoasis:




I went not as a maid but a child whose relatives wanted to help keep up with her education due to some reasons at that point in time. I only spent four years there to achieve that so it wwasn't an issue to channel the blame to parents.

If your parents planned for you, they won’t need your relatives to help with your education.

If you need to be angry at anyone be angry with your parents.

Glad you turned out 'kay, this is what matters in retrospect.

I don't see maids as external persons, I see them as part of my family. I don't usually stay at home because of the nature of my job. The relatively new maid I have attends a private school in Lagos. Family and friends advised against such but I refused. I can't send my child to a public school, so why will I send her to one? In fact, there was a day I paid her school fees before my daughter's. It didn't go well with my wife but I did it. Why? She is someone's child given to us to help us. So, how do I repay her for the help she is rendering? By meeting immediately her needs. People should learn to treat their maids with dignity and honor. You are indirectly doing it for your children. I always pray a prayer, 'God as I am taking care of this child, take care of my child too'. And He is doing it more than what I can imagine.

Reasonabledoubt:


If your parents planned for you, they won’t need your relatives to help with your education.

If you need to be angry at anyone be angry with your parents.

I completely agree, nothing justfies a parent passing the buck of raising their kids to someone else. As a matter of fact, poverty is even a more pardonable excuse. Someone close to me was sent away for school in another town all through his secondary education, and today that singular act caused more harm than good.

May God give us the wisdom to raise our kids right!

Unfortunately we cannot build something right on something wrong.

The job of a help is a job paid employment like any other job should be for qualified adults with fair pay and work conditions.

People who want to help relatives should do so with no strings attached.

Women want young children they can bully and abuse who won't fight back. It is wrong and illegal to hire a child under the guise of helping.


That being stated I don't have to love my employee just give them favorable and fair conditions of service. And they should be fair to me too.

Reasonabledoubt:
Sad story, a child should never have to go through this.
I have always been an advocate of punishment for people that employ young children as maids, they should get jail term in my own opinion.

That aside, since your parents can have sex to give birth, why did they pass on their responsibility of training you to someone else?

Preach to parents to only have kids that they can afford. You mustn’t have a multitude to prove that you are fertile.

Since your mum was alive, if she had kept you and not sent you to be a maid you wouldn’t have gone through any of these. Why did she? Finances I presume?

You anger should be channeled at your parents.

There are mothers that are bricklayers, carpenters, they fry akara, do anything to make sure their kids are not sent out.

Channel your anger appropriately, and maybe become and advocate for birth control to the less privileged, so that they will stop giving birth to children that other people will help them train.

I would like to disagree with you a little. There are some circumstances that happen to one and your ward might have to go and stay with a family or friend. This does not give one the right to maltreat another persons child whether as a maid or ward. It's purely man's inhumanity to the man. And it should be condemned with all seriousness
I lived with my uncle while growing up too. I was not maltreated
Although all their children attend private school while I went to a public one. I still appreciate all they did for me.
My submission is that in respective of the condition that brought a child to stay with us we should always think of tomorrow that our own children can be in similar situations

Women visit their Innate hatred, bile and wickedness on young children who are vulnerable And at their mercy for food, school, clothes and water or adults who they know does not have the capacity to fight back

Forget all this lady like forming we see on TV and everywhere, Nigerian women are masochist. They're in pain especially from their husbands who emotionally abuse them and ridicule them and still fok them at night without consideration for THeir feelings so they transfer THeir pain on those who they see are vulnerable. The only time they treat other women's children who are living with them nicely are if they know the woman (mother of the child) will know And the mother will not take it lightly or they know the woman has money

If you are a woman don't ever, I mean ever ever put yourself or your kids at the mercy of naija women. Educated or not, enlightened or not, they will abuse your children And if you are an adult they will dehumanize and traumatize you.

If you doubt me look at the way the average naija woman Treats their house help, children's
nanny, sister in-law, daughter in-law, secretary, surbodinate employees, gateman,shop attendants, students or driver

Vivianoasis:




I went not as a maid but a child whose relatives wanted to help keep up with her education due to some reasons at that point in time. I only spent four years there to achieve that so it wwasn't an issue to channel the blame to parents.

Your parents responsibility still. A child should be with their parents and if you need to go to school in another town the parents should assist with bills. A house help is paid employment, parents should stop sending their kids into modern day slavery

babajeje123:
I don't see maids as external persons, I see them as part of my family. I don't usually stay at home because of the nature of my job. The relatively new maid I have attends a private school in Lagos. Family and friends advised against such but I refused. I can't send my child to a public school, so why will I send her to one? In fact, there was a day I paid her school fees before my daughter's. It didn't go well with my wife but I did it. Why? She is someone's child given to us to help us. So, how do I repay her for the help she is rendering? By meeting immediately her needs. People should learn to treat their maids with dignity and honor. You are indirectly doing it for your children. I always pray a prayer, 'God as I am taking care of this child, take care of my child too'. And He is doing it more than what I can imagine.

I don't expect you to come here and say you maltreat a maid. Obviously you won't say that here

CAPSLOCKED:

I'M NOT SURPRISED THIS BRILLIANT PIECE IS RELEGATED TO THE BACK PAGE (DUSTBIN) NEVER TO BE SEEN ON THE FRONT PAGE BECAUSE IT IS NOT A TYPICAL NAIRALAND MATERIAL.

NEXT TIME,
INCLUDE CURVY, CLEAVAGE, BACKSIDE, BOBRISKY, OR SNAKE TO YOUR POSTS TO ENSURE THEY GET TO FRONT PAGE.
THANKS.

Hahaha so true. This is a thought-provoking piece that should be on the front page, not nonsense about celebrities celebrating their son's birthday or actresses taking pictures in bikinis.

SAMBARRY:
Women visit their Innate hatred, bile and wickedness on young children who are vulnerable And at their mercy for food, school, clothes and water or adults who they know does not have the capacity to fight back

Forget all this lady like forming we see on TV and everywhere, Nigerian women are masochist. They're in pain especially from their husbands who emotionally abuse them and ridicule them and still fok them at night without consideration for THeir feelings so they transfer THeir pain on those who they see are vulnerable. The only time they treat other women's children who are living with them nicely are if they know the woman (mother of the child) will know And the mother will not take it lightly or they know the woman has money

If you are a woman don't ever, I mean ever ever put yourself or your kids at the mercy of naija women. Educated or not, enlightened or not, they will abuse your children And if you are an adult they will dehumanize and traumatize you.

If you doubt me look at the way the average naija woman Treats their house help, children's
nanny, sister in-law, daughter in-law, secretary, surbodinate employees, gateman,shop attendants, students or driver

ur so on point..so many frustrated women

Why should children be used as house helps in the first place?
That's the genesis of the whole matter.
Nigerians are not naturally charitable, so don't think another person will raise your child for you without abusing the child. Afterall, most will reason that once the child is grown, he will go back to the parents and forget the person that raised him.
They will only abuse your child.
Don't have more children than you can cater for. Stop dumping your children on relatives, and if its only gari you can afford to eat together as a family, do that.
If you can't even afford the gari, please give the children up for adoption to families that don't have children, and want to take up the responsibility.
A relative who planned his own children and possibly has one "mistake" additional child (from a failed family planning) more than he planned will find it hard with an extra relative's child in his home. That relative's child will benefit little staying there because he is also just struggling to cater for his own family

SAMBARRY:
Women visit their Innate hatred, bile and wickedness on young children who are vulnerable And at their mercy for food, school, clothes and water or adults who they know does not have the capacity to fight back

Forget all this lady like forming we see on TV and everywhere, Nigerian women are masochist. They're in pain especially from their husbands who emotionally abuse them and ridicule them and still fok them at night without consideration for THeir feelings so they transfer THeir pain on those who they see are vulnerable. The only time they treat other women's children who are living with them nicely are if they know the woman (mother of the child) will know And the mother will not take it lightly or they know the woman has money

If you are a woman don't ever, I mean ever ever put yourself or your kids at the mercy of naija women. Educated or not, enlightened or not, they will abuse your children And if you are an adult they will dehumanize and traumatize you.

If you doubt me look at the way the average naija woman Treats their house help, children's
nanny, sister in-law, daughter in-law, secretary, surbodinate employees, gateman,shop attendants, students or driver

U re a genius for this ur write up.