lets bring all the sexual jokes in here!!!

A wife catches her husband masturbating under the shower and approaches him. The husband:
- Oh dear, it was so dirty that I had to rub it so hard, it almost hurts!

MY FIRST TIME
The sky was dark,
The moon was high,
All alone,
Just her and I.

Her hair so soft,
Her legs so fine,
I ran me fingers,
down her spine.

I didnt know how,
I tried my best,
To touch her breast.

I remembered my fear,
But slowly she spread,
Her legs apart,
And when she did,
I felt no shame.

All at once,
The white stuff came out!

At last. It's finished.
It's all over,

My first time,

Milking a cow.

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.

After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes

CONDOMS SLOGAN
1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

One man calls emergency:
- Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom!
After five minutes, the same man calls back:
- It is OK, I found another one.

A baby was born that was so advanced that he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?", he asked.

"Yes, I am."

The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during birth."

He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?"

"Yes, I am," she said.

"Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said.

He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?"

"Yes, I am," his father answered.

The baby motioned him to come closer, then poked him on the forehead with his index finger 5 times, saying, "I want you to know that that hurts!"

HOW TO MAKE LOVE

Ingredients:

•4 Laughing eyes
•4 Well-shaped legs
•4 Loving arms
•2 Firm milk containers
•2 Nuts
•1 Fur-lined mixing bowl
•1 Firm banana

Directions:

1.Look into laughing eyes.
2.Spread well-shaped legs with loving arms.
3.Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently.
4.Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed. For best results. Continue to knead milk containers.
5.As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably NOT overnight).
6.The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana does not soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Oh my gawd!!     

Are u ok?

^^^ hmmm?

Are u on heat? What happened to your gawd?

<not raising to the bait>

HELP!! DANI, DANI, DANI, pls come pack derailer studio commot 4 dis thread

I go beat somebody:@

<runs to another thread, hoping 'an praying to avoid studio>

And never look back cuz i dey follow u for back with gun and knife. Lol

<ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh shivers with fake fright>

I know

toy gun 'an rubber knife

I reserve my comment lol

Good boy

e no too good for man to dey follow woman quarrel anyhow

ben 10 it's ur turn,

hehehe, I never knew that my one and the only is good at this

^^^ Never underate the innocent when it comes to it.

I like them

Igwe.:

hehehe, I never knew that my one and the only is good at this

are you sure thats good baby but thanks love you are the best and i have missed you loads

jamace:

^^^ Never underate the innocent when it comes to it.

see your mouth

make somebody add to this joke nah kind of busy at the moment

im comin ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

No disgrace me with dat laughter abeg,

The Queen visits a major hospital to open a new ward.

She is shown around first by a nurse so she can inspect the facilities.

On her way, she hears orgasmic groans coming from a nearby room.

She goes to the room to investigate and, upon arriving, finds that a man is masturbating on the bed.

She asks the nurse "Why is that man doing that?"

The nurse replies "Oh, he's got to relieve himself every so often because he has a disorder."

"Oh, OK then," the queen said, and moved on, but on the way she hears more orgasmic groans.

She looks in the room and sees a nurse giving a man a Mouth Gig.

The queen asks her escort "Why is that nurse giving that man a Mouth Gig?"

Her nurse escort says "Oh, he's got the same disorder as the man before, only this one's got health insurance

A nun walks into a bus and sits behind the driver and says, "I have just one regret before I die,"

The bus driver asks "What might that be?", she says "I have never had sex, but I can't have sex with a married man or that would be a sin."

The bus driver says, "I'm not married"

The nun says, "I have to die a virgin so I will have to take it in my ass".

Being the only two in the bus they went to the back and took care of business.

When they were done the bus driver says to the nun, "I have a confesion to make, I am married."

The nun says "I also have a confesion to make, My name is Tom and im going to a costume party

Stale!

Next

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and gentlemen".

The next day the parents decided to have sex, the women said "feel my titties" and the man said "feel my dick".

Their son walked in and asked "What does titties and dick mean?" and the parents replied "hats and coats".

On Thanksgiving the dad was shaving and he cut himself, "Shit" he said, the kid came in and asked "What's that mean" and the man said it was the brand shaving cream he was using.

Down stairs the mom was preparing the turkey, and she cut herself, "Bleep" she said. Once again the kid asked "What's that mean" the mom said that is what she calls stuffing the turkey.

Then the door bell rang. The kid answered the door to his relatives and said "Alright you bitches and bastards, put your dicks and titties in the closet, my dad is upstairs wiping the shit off his face, and my mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey  

stale!

Studio CFR:

stale!

i never said i was good at this i start the thread others continue with it
and you mister instale post a sexual joke nah
and if you cant take this stale word of yours somewhere else