Who are you to decide who remains single?

dafemnet:
She will learn to submit to her next husband or she remains single. A woman must submit to whoever she's married to else she will be single. Even in LGBT world, there must be a submissive partner. Don't fool ur selves

HEseesall:


I used my part of the money which is not wrong, i expected him to know that

u r a very wicked woman.
So u still hav wat u can term ur money after taking vows that the two of u have become one till death do u apart?
U lived with him wit an individualistic mindset.
If he used his part of the money for his parents for anytin, one shud expect that the two of u did it for his parents.
And since u also decided to build a house wit ur part of d money, it is also expected that the both of u did it as well.
Having only ur name in dat document is wrong as a married woman.
U can only do dat wen ur single.
Anytin n everytin u acquire during marriage it's on behalf of the family for peaceful coexistence to be assured.
Dnt bring unhealthy competition into ur home.
If I was ur husband, it's either u include my name in dat document or I renaged on my responsibilities to u as a husband.
I cannot be working to take care of u with my money n u will be amassing wealth.
U r selfish woman!

paulynpen:


I will love to know the section of the constitution you are quoting from. He can only decide on his money not on his wife's I keep cautioning my fellow men on egoist tendencies. Its very dangerous, whoever built the house provided its our own. What if the woman used her share the way the man used his? The man is a terrible man who is bent on manipulation and oppression, if he has no ulterior motives I don't see anything wrong with joint ownership and living together in peace. No he want it in his name so that he go out and shout at the top of his voice to everyone who care to listen about how he laboured for the house. I know he will never tell the world about his wife's. I got to know lately that many houses standing are actually the brain child of women but they were swindled off the ownership. My sister I am a man, never ever reneges your ownership. Put it in the name of your children at worse

What's the purpose of this thread since the man has left everything for her and left already. Why is the lady crying all over the place, playing the victim card, let her go n marry the house n stop crying now. The divorce she planned for is here already, what an evil woman that destroyed her home for common property.
The man is very right to get angry over this massive betrayal of a devilish woman. Let the woman move on too like the man since the man is not even dragging anything or do his bidding as her husband n stop crying already.

Submission of a married woman is not negotiable, do the will of your husband or divorce him period, u can't eat your cake n have it.

I hope the house is a mansion and worth all these stress after all, good luck to both parties in their future endeavors

iamochyglows:
You're very right. If the document had Mr and Mrs ABC. When he throws Mrs ABC out, and marries a new woman. The new woman becomes Mrs ABC. It's either she doesn't change the name from hers at all or if she must, it should read her full name not just the surname. i.e Mr Dee Cee ABC and Mrs Ess Emm Hoo ABC.

You're a professor. I love your reasoning.

RedAlert08:

Chinwe, is that you? But I begged you to resolve this matter with papa Emeka. Why bring it to social media? I'm coming to the house this evening.

Oya, tell the husband of Chinwe to come narrate his own story so we can all offer good advice.

My dear in as much am trying to figure out how best to advice you on this matter I think divorce is far from it. But I can tell from the look of things the kind of person you are. You are very crafty. You intimidate your husband maybe because your own family background which I think is may be a little above average financially. Your husband believed so much on you. Loves you. And cares about your welfare.A business that primarily to be his and his alone both the profit and the loss. You insisted to be part of it. He concurred. Shared the markup and told you that he is using his on his family members which are in dire need of financial help. You agreed. Now you turned out to use yours to buy a land which he is not in the know about the documentation. Yet my beautiful lady he trusted you that you are doing the right thing. Now he felt that he now has a project at hand which is building the house. Put in all his resources day and night. Fight the spirit and the physical to make sure that place stays. Now you open your mouth and tell him before his face that the house is yours. Maybe adding a little money in the building project now makes you a co builder. My dear you have an attitude problem. Children are involved. Yes. His children. Yes. He loves you more than he loves the children. Change your attitude. Change your mindset. What you have on this earth is him and God. He has left the house for you. Not the best but a strong man don't take shits. Ask for forgiveness from him and desist from the likes of some feminists in our society. I can see from the write up that you don't want your home to break up. But let it not be because of the children. Let it be because of God who doesn't support divorce. See a king in your husband and a beautiful queen in you will manifest. All in all give him the documents of that land to him wherever he is and sincerely let him know how remorseful you are ,from the beginning and promise that it will never happen again. My dear all that you had wanted will be giving to you. How your husband will ask you to maintain the status quo will be amazing. He is going to let you know that you are more important than the property and will still leave the document in your name. I think this will help you. And above all I wish you and your husband a quick re union. God bless you. NB. BRIDLE YOUR MOUTH

Timekeeper:


I don't want to offend God through u minister.. Are you saying she shud change the name to the husband name or to Mr and Mrs... If it's Mr and Mrs, I agree but if u say to the full husband name, never.... Fine she betrayed he husband trust but which good husband will send a wife packing thinking that it was his own house when the wife built it with her own share.... Minister don't let me offend God through you... Ur home may be so cool but don't mean others are.... Pls sir

The reason why this case is different is because this woman is well to do right May be thats why everybody is consetrating on the property, what if it is the other ways round? Am sure nobody will hear about it.

Have the woman told you why her husband wanted her out in the first place? You should know that this story is not complete. Have you heard the other side of the story? May be the woman might be Rollin on the begging if she don't have that property? But now instead of her showing remorse she is threatening her husband. Yes I called it a threat. At this junction the man felt l insecure and decided to leave the so called property for the woman.

But you want her to break her marriage because of this so callled property hmmm

Mind you this man might not even mean what he is saying it might be a mere threat to bend his wife to oder, because no reasonable man will send his wife and children out of the home. Believe me that story is not complete she was only looking for sympathisers so she can Cook up anything to gain it.

I knows why I made that comments that if she is still interested in her marriage she should do the needful though you will not understanding.

I have comes across so many cases of this such and by the grace of God I were able to reconciled them.

Finally you said you don't want to insult me, but I have put it to you that you have already done so.

Shalom.

HEseesall:



I am not a blogger who wants traffic, you can choose not to believe if you want, i just need advice and other options,

once had such experience... PM me for a private chat.

bukatyne:


He wants to fully own a house he did not build?

Hmmmm.

You said your husband is a good man; you are the only person with the licence to declare him good so he is.

The next question is 'What did you do to piss off a good husband so much that he wanted you to pack out and when you couldn't, abandoned you in the house?'

She have not said the truth yet. this man never ask u for house documents until now that u piss him off, that was when he noticed that u used only ur name on the documents, all the same let hear from ur husband.

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

u see, if u had done dis ab initio, all dis issues cud av bn avoided.
Kip begging him to accept this option. I dnt support that u take ur name out for his either. Mr n Mrs is very ok.
Tell him it was unwise for u to tink the house belonged to u alone.
He is just angry u were selfish n centered.
Apologize profusely and let peace reign .
Dnt listen to all dis single n frustrated pipo advising u to let him stay out oh.
They will just destroy ur home for u if u take their unwise advice.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

MA u did right that your husband is a wicked man imagine now that you bow to his request and transfer the house to his name if such a thing happens again my dear u are doomed becos nobody can save you

Here's the summary, from all I have gathered in previous replies:

1. The man treated his sick father with his share of the profit as well as did some house renovation for them
2. The wife acquired a land with her own share
3. They both built a house on it jointly
4. After a minor disagreement, the man realized that the land was acquired in his wife's name alone.
5. This affected his ego which should be same for every man.

Soln: Retrace your step and work out a solution ASAP. With time, everything will come to normal

Save your advice for your sisters with low self esteem.

divinelove:


Who allowed this kid into this thread, son this thread is for mature people not kids like you. Now get lost

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

You are a BIG thief! And not a wife material.

Keep quiet mumu

Someone asked his wife and kids to leave his house and was humbled when his wife broke the good news that the property was in her name.

CrazeMan69:


Shut your mouth �,
Did he throw her bags outside? Did he beat her?
Do you know what really went down?

You heard a sob story and you are condemning the man
Your type will be jumping from one church to another because of broken homes when you are the cause of your misfortune

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

You are a fool for saying this. Do you want the family to be scattered just because of property? Haba. Do you know what it means for children to grow up in a broken home? Haba we kill ourselves over material things which that are really irrelevant. Let the woman humble herself and change it to her husband's name and let peace reign. Haba he is the head of the house and the woman did wrong for not letting him know the house docs were in her name. What was she thinking when she put her name there?

sacramento1212:


Oya, tell the husband of Chinwe to come narrate his own story so we can all offer good advice.

Mr/Mrs Adviser, you better get your ass busy.

HEseesall:



The property only is in my name but we built it together

wait wait wait. U r beginning to change ur story like its common wit women.
U said u used it part of d money to build a house n now ur saying u both built it togeda.
If I get u correctly, do u mean u bought a land wit ur part of d buz proceed n d two of u build on it?

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Una women, sometimes na una mouth dey do una. The man got angry and said you should leave the house. Maybe and most likely he was not serious about it. Instead of you to find a way and pacify him, you let out your secret just to score a point. Now you've made him feel helpless.


The way forward is to change the documents to both of your names even if he wants full ownership. Tell him it's not possible. Do that, then tell him about it, then turn it around and blame him. Tell him so he means he would have had the mind to throw out his wife and kids to roam on the street if the property was not in your name. Tell him he has proven your action as right. He should feel guilty and accept the joint ownership. Try to be subtle and sweet when confronting him.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

Woman, better don't try changing anything. He used his money for what pleases him and you used your money to build the house. The house is yours. Simplicita... if he wants to leave let him leave. He's a very self-centred man.

LewsTherin:


Ok, got that.

Now like I said, normally, I am all for playing the fool in a relationship but your husband has set a bad precedent. First, he changed a joint agreement meant for your joint family in favour of his own family. Then he kicked you out of his house (as he thought it was). Then he insists you use your share of a joint decision, a decision that he reneged on, for his own benefit. Insisted on that twice ie before he knew it was in yiur name and after he knew it was in your name.

That is not good. Basically he has shown he is willing to abandon you and your kids if he “feels” like it. Sweetheart, no offense intended, but you don't have a good husband.

My advice to you and those in similar straits is
First, pray for your husband. Pray for God to change his person, to change his ways. If he claims to be a Christian, he sure as heck isn't showing Christ-like characters

Plan for your kids. Not to the exemption of your husband, but until he shows he can be different, plan to be able to live without him for your kids. I didn't say leave him. I said to be able to live without him. Different things.

Like you have been adviced, get an independent third party to mediate and see how that goes. I understand why you don't want to let your family know but it is dicey if they don't especially as he has involved his family from the beginning. I don't agree, but I understand. Maybe a compromise will be to tell your dad. Not your mum, not your sisters. Women by nature are very emotional and they can let their emotions overwhelm them. Tell your dad in confidence and ask him to keep it that way.

Finally, under no circumstances whatsoever should you add his name to that document. In mediations, the best you should do is to place the property in a trust for your children. Children! Not you, not him, not Mr and Mrs. Put it in the names of ALL your kids with a caveat that it cannot be sold by any one until all kids are above 18 years old.

Most of all, seek mediation and pray a lot for him.

My own advice.

stewpeed advise with stewpeed likes

Amberon11:
Who are you to decide who remains single?

Lol, why are you so pained,even if you are a lesbian,u must submit to the stronger partner.

HEseesall:


I used my part of the money which is not wrong, i expected him to know that

You said he is a good man. Lemme tell my mile sorry first if you are like my mum you would be doing a lot of things that wrong and feel you are right though your husband should not act over superior. I'm very sure he is the pillar of the business what he used his money for was good and you both agreed to use yours for the family. so it should have been joint something but instead your greediness didn't let you consider that. If you can do that I wonder how you've been a good wife to him ? sorry to say im sure you are not a good wife. woman are fond of misbehaving when they have little advantages over their husband. Just consider your past behaviors he would conclude on why you've been causing quarrel now he is at fault for wanting to chase you out but some stupid men do beat their wife instead of chasing her out. while gentle men like my father park out of the house "though my own case father own everything because na eim sweat " and leave the woman just to have peace. then someone who knows how to treat men better would come to their way. Omo iya me self I cannot beat quarrel with woman in this my present life you are stubborn I'll forgive you and move on! aye o pe meji remember its easier to get new wife than getting new husband for your husband to have made mention of sending you out might just be out of anger before you cleared him but to me a reasonable wife would apologize just to keep her home "my former landlord wife comes to mind mumy eri, she is too humble working class and supportive her husband can't help but sell for her in her shop when he back from work if she is not around mind you they are both civil servant" Please call your pastor change your ways kneel down and explain why the document need to belong to you both or children tell him your fears a good man would consider that. And for those ladies saying they don't believe in biblical standard of marriage common I've been an atheist from my teens age I'm close to mid twenties but I knw men actually end up doing more sacrifice in business and a lot of thing be it joint or not but civilization now wants women to get equal share of less stress nature made man the head in most things not bible. I prefer women living feminism with humble achievement not achievement by marriage or etc. @ op pls be wise don't it must be joint ownership or your children stuff

Amberon11:
Save your advice for your sisters with low self esteem.

Do I still need to reply a goat like u, get lost already demented goat

Whatever you do, do not change that name.

That man is heartless and you should be grateful that God has exposed him, my advise: Dont do anything, get closer to God and pray for him.

You are very lucky. Dont feel guilty, i have men who used the names of their wives on all they bought.

i used my wife's name and mine on our property and i think its good cos you never can tell relatives can be funny at the demise of the man.

Lastly if push comes to shove, put your children's name or joint name. Dont let love or tradition deceive you.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

First of all, what is the cause of the problem? You can’t just have a minor misunderstanding and your husband will ask you to park out of the house and for you not to involve your family over this is fishy too. Did you cheat on your husband? He asked for transfer and you still don’t want your parents to know what’s going on and his parents already knows. I don’t think your story is complete because your husband can’t just ask you to leave the house all because you both had a misunderstanding. What is the cause of the problem madam? Did you cheat on your husband? Spill it out and let’s know how to help you out. Ur story isn’t complete.

2buffagain:


Why are we still using the word "might" in this case?

Is a 50/50 case of him just trying to claim is ego of i'm the man, or he might as well have anoda plan of trowing the wife out any time.

tempest01:


Una women, sometimes na una mouth dey do una. The man got angry and said you should leave the house. Maybe and most likely he was not serious about it. Instead of you to find a way and pacify him, you let out your secret just to score a point. Now you've made him feel helpless.


The way forward is to change the documents to both of your names even if he wants full ownership. Tell him it's not possible. Do that, then tell him about it, then turn it around and blame him. Tell him so he means he would have had the mind to throw out his wife and kids to roam on the street of the peppery was not in your name. He should feel guilty and accept the joint ownership

One of the best advise so far he threatened you and instead of apologizing you felt you have advantage now you are on your own since he has moved on. and some dumb ladies here on nairaland pushing her when guys have rethink the matter. na you dey cry for help now, abeg call your pastor apologize to him but it must be both ownership

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

U are underestimating yourself... So, he can tell people he left u because of property bt u can't?

My dear, u better open ur eyes well, now that the lord is showing u vision... May being on the street and begging never be ur portion... No family will be ur husband and care for u if he eventually get wat he wants and another fight comes up and chase u out... Thank God u already have kids... Don't go tell any pastor o, u will see how the Bible will be twisted, that Man is d head of the family... Someone that should be proud of u, is now jealous of u... He wants to have it all... He can't be grateful to God that he used his money well too and work harder if he so badly want his name on a property... Don't be the enemy of your own self, if he refused to come back to his senses after so many talk, pls dear, sell the house if u must and get a smaller apartment, so that u can invest what u get to take care of your children... This is total nonsense from someone who call himself a man... Gosh, i wount even be able to take it to be away from my kids

emelda86:


Shut that thing called mouth

Why will he ask her to leave with the kids? Wicked men that's how God will be dealing with y'all one by one

She shouldn't have told him na so that she will be out & he will bring in another woman to come & enjoy what she laboured for

Why didn't he use his own part of the money to build a house now y'all are claiming she's this & that

You have no respect as small as you are.