CSTR1005:

Alright then.

At least she has a house to sell or lease to take care of her children and then hope some man somewhere finds her interesting enough to come in and play the role of a father for her children and a companion.

By then, the husband would have moved on, rent a new house, find a new woman he trusts to respect him and build a family with him.

Win -win.

So if you divorce your wife you divorce the kids along with the wife wowwwww the things we learn on Nairaland. Lol

LewsTherin:


Watch your mouth you filthy aes sedai pet! Have you read all the books? All 15?

Mother's milk in a cup but every now and then I read book 15 over again. Now is a good time to start again. I got nothing better to do anyways

yes I have. took me the best part of 3 months. Just love the cunning Fox part. especially "she is my wife. your bloody daughter of the nine moons is my wife." time to roll the dice. have the full book on pdf.
LewsTherin

If the house was built with your money then it is your house. A man is supposed to build a house before he marries.

Please let him go on transfer and think about his life.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

If you contributed money in building the house, the document should be in the name of both of you. I don't even understand why two married people would quarrel, some to the extent of fighting.

CSTR1005:

I am sure the husband must have contributed in cash,or at least ensured the progress of the project like any property of his.

He is right to be aggrieved. The woman is not wise.

1. The whole idea behind the thread is not well thought out.

2. Both had issues, led to an argument and the husband told her to move out (What's the issue? we don't know).

3. Has she done anything that demands such words (out of anger)? We don't know.

4. But somehow we felt it's God at work, as a way of knowing who her husband really is. Same husband I'm sure must have contributed significantly to the building.

5. The husband already left the house, now working on his transfer. That tells a story: he's not jobless and can comfortably fend for himself. So how exactly would he have failed to contribute to that building?

6. Let's not even dig deeper as to how the business and ideas translated to wealth.

@OP, you wear the shoes please, so be very mindful of the actions you take today. Reflect on the whole drama. It doesn't matter whether you guys shared the profit equally o, do you consider him the alpha and omega of the business idea? I'm saying this because I know how some businesses work between two partners in love. Some men even pay their business partners (wife) for doing absolutely nothing.
If he's the brain or god behind the business, don't use this against him please, business is not always business.

Acidosis:


1. The whole idea behind the thread is not well thought out.

2. Both had issues, led to an argument and the husband told her to move out (What's the issue? we don't know).

3. Has she done anything that demands such words (out of anger)? We don't know.

4. But somehow we felt it's God at work, as a way of knowing who her husband really is. Same husband I'm sure must have contributed significantly to the building.

5. The husband already left the house, now working on his transfer. That tells a story: he's not jobless and can comfortably fend for himself. So how exactly would he have failed to contribute to that building?

6. Let's not even dig deeper as to how the business and ideas translated to wealth.

@OP, you wear the shoes please, so be very mindful of the actions you take today. Reflect on the whole drama. It doesn't matter whether you guys shared the profit equally o, do you consider him the alpha and omega of the business idea? I'm saying this because I know how some businesses work between two partners in love. Some men even pay their business partners (wife) for doing absolutely nothing.

He would have left her still only if the papers were not in her name left her homeless
I blame weak women, how many threads did the man open before he decided to kick her out or leave her

Eketem:



He would have left her still only if the papers were not in her name left her homeless
I blame weak women, how many threads did the man open before he decided to kick her out or leave her

Until we know what she did, we really can't be too sure whether those words were ill conceived or not. We don't know their story.

HEseesall:



You dont understand, we have kids, i am working but i cant do everything on my own, how will i tell them we are no more together because of property

sweetheart In your prayer time I want you to pray against every force that is against your marriage . Bind the spirit of contention.

As far as I'm concerned I don't see any reason why your hubby will just rise up to tell you to park out.
some of these demons will not stop you from getting married,they will hide till you are happy and settled and start bringing quarrel and disharmony. that is when you will see husband and wife fighting for how the toothpaste should be pressed and the man beating her mercilessly.

Between the hours of 1-3 at night wake up to pray and ask God for wisdom and direction. tell him to touch your husbands heart and soften it so that he will love you like before.

Eketem:


So if you divorce your wife you divorce the kids along with the wife wowwwww the things we learn on Nairaland. Lol

There is no way he would be as efficient a father as a divorcee compared to when he was still married to their mother.

He would try his best, but I doubt it would be enough.

When he now inevitably remarries to another woman with her own children for him, his fatherhood becomes even more split.

That is the reality.

Daeylar:


Are the children not his anymore?
Such disgusting mentality men have, that a child they created is no longer theirs just because they end things with the mother.
I still say such men should be put in jail.

Then these are the same idiots who will wonder why the children hate him or why the wife cannot refer to him as a father.

By the way, as for the part in bold. All these bs scare tactics don't work anymore, of course she will find someone willing to marry her and be a good father to her kids. Why won't she? So many men with different good mindsets in this world.


The man should rather hope he will find a good woman which Frankly, he does not deserve a good woman, he deserves a devil like him

Anyways, she hasn't left her husband, and probably never will, so we need to stop talking about it as if she has.

See my reply to the guy above about fatherhood.




A new husband after three children in this Nigeria when even the ones with one child are still under the stigma.

Alright.

CSTR1005:

There is no way he would be as efficient a father as a divorcee compared to when he was still married to their mother.

He would try his best, but I doubt it would be enough.

When he now inevitably remarries to another woman with her own children for him, his fatherhood becomes even more split.

That is the reality.

There is nothing wrong with either of them getting remarried if the marriage fails however, the kids should not suffer because two adults can not live together. Only a shitty father will punish his kids to spite their mother and kids are better off without such a father

Acidosis:


Until we know what she did, we really can't be too sure whether those words were ill conceived or not. We don't know their story.

True

Eketem:



He would have left her still only if the papers were not in her name left her homeless
I blame weak women, how many threads did the man open before he decided to kick her out or leave her

Lol, this made me laugh.

I don't want to go tribal, but if your husband is Yoruba, then you need to be more careful.


Yoruba men don't even hesitate to move on. They move on very quickly.


Igbo men still wait a little while longer.

[quote author=justjeff post=69371605]he is not a gentleman. I just wonder what action he will take if it's in his name. In marriage what belongs to you also belongs to him. I feel your pain but don't change the name. At most let it be joint. He will regret his actions. Just stay cool and talk less. Silence is golden [/qote]

You are not d one married to him.
She told u hes a gentle man

Eketem:


There is nothing wrong with either of them getting remarried if the marriage fails however, the kids should not suffer because two adults can not live together. Only a shitty father will punish his kids to spite their mother and kids are better off without such a father

I am sure no good man would be looking to punish his kids.

But events beyond his control would make his efficient fatherhood very stressful.

He would try his best, but it won't be enough.

Fathers are humans too. They are not super humans.

To give their best to the children, they need to be there in a loving relationship with the mother.

[quote author=XklusivGistBlog post=69380156][/quote]
I just tire.

The woman said he is a good man .

And she annoyed him with God knows what for him to threaten her to pack out , and then later exposed the fact that she betrayed him earlier in an ego deflating way.

And some people here are demonizing a good man.

CSTR1005:

I am sure no good man would be looking to punish his kids.

But events beyond his control would make his efficient fatherhood very stressful.

He would try his best, but it won't be enough.

Fathers are humans too. They are not super humans.

To give their best to the children, they need to be there in a loving relationship with the mother.

Parenthood is a responsibility not trial ans error. Kids don't ask to be born when you decide to have them you take responsibility for them for 18 years regardless of what you feel about another adult.


Please we need to stop littering the world with kids we won't take care of

Babybunny:
That man is wicked. Okay let's assume the house was built by him alone and the house is in his name solely, as a couple he should know the house belongs to he and his wife.
The fact that a lady is living under your roof doesn't mean you should be chasing her out when there is disagreement, she's not a house help.

Gbam..She is not a house help. #Menlearn.

To me,there is more to the story. Its either the mqn has pre-planned tbis or a new wife is in the offspring and best to show is the house or the Op herself knew the man is egoistic hence,her perfect job.

To be frank,it will take God's intervention to reconcile the marriage 'cos trust is no more there . Probable solution is to ask the man,what does he really want since both parties are not agreeing to a sole owner and the woman wants her home intact.

Op,you have a good job and your home is also important,right? You have to sacrifice for the sake of your home at tbis stage.Now you know he can send you packing at any time,you have to start saving to build another house in your children's name with his consent. If he contributes or not,so be it but make sure you hasten the project. God will help.

What I tell ladies before marriage,don't marry for love or money or for any reason that something is attached,marry because you can understand the person and cope with his inadequacies. Before marriage,you have full authority but after marriage,you settle for anything and everything that comes your way

Fela said,IGBEYAWO..literally,you decided to carry suffering to watch.

dingbang:
How did you manage to put your name as the owner or the house without letting him know? You are a snitch

Do you even know the meaning of "snitch"?

Smh.

Sharp woman

Greedy thief used his own money for his family and wants to chop out of the woman's money too

I don't even understand all these joint business in marriage sef cos most times, the woman end up loosing

Op, change the property name to his and watch him throw you and your children out without blinking an eye .

ma I'll advice you not to change the name on the documents to your husband's. he clearly is a very selfish and wicked man who would've made u pack out of that house if it was his to begin with.

my late aunty made a mistake of giving all her life savings to her husband to do business with so they could complete the house they both were building thinking he was a responsible man only for the man to change after a short while. he started finding faults in everything she does and used that as an excuse to start dating young girls and before my aunty knew what's up he had impregnated his young girlfriend and intends to marry her. my aunty was forced to move out of the house they both built when she couldn't bear the whole pain and betrayal. long story short her husband got married to the young girlfriend ,completed and moved his new bae into their house "his house now cus the document is in his name" and that's how my aunty lost out completely. she dealt with the pain and depression till she finally died few years later due to sickness.

your parents didn't pay your school fees and all only for you to give out your house to a very greedy man all in the name of marriage. it's your house, its your money, it's your property. you own it

don't let anyone make u take a decision you're later gonna regret cus I know how Nigerian marriage works and how they try to put the whole blame on the wife or ask her to give up on what she's fighting for because the husband is the head of the family and all that rubbish.

you're both heads madam
don't let anyone deceive you
own your property!!

HEseesall:



I am not a blogger who wants traffic, you can choose not to believe if you want, i just need advice and other options,

Maybe you should tell us what the heated argument was all about. That's the only way you can get unbiased advice.

In the meantime, it is good that the house is in your name only if the money used was your own share of the business proceeds. He used his for his parents, despite prior agreement. The house belongs to you and that is final.

If you had used yours for your parents the house won't be there for him to do shakara about. So he should park well abeg.

HEseesall:



He doesnt want that, i suggested it he said no, he has to be in charge fully not jointly

Don't change the documents to his name.If at all you will yield,change it to your children's name.He must have contributed time,manpower and even funds while the house was being built,isn't it?

Follow LewsTherin's words.Confide in your father.He will stir the issue in the right direction.

Give your husband some time,he'll come around.

CSTR1005:
I don't want to go tribal, but if your husband is Yoruba, then you need to be more careful.


Yoruba men don't even hesitate to move on. They move on very quickly.


Igbo men still wait a little while longer.

And this actually made sense to you? Like for real? I mean, really really?

els0nm0rali:


And this actually made sense to you? Like for real? I mean, really really?

Yes, really

We see Yorubas all around us.

HEseesall:
I had to open this account for anonymity
I'm in a dilemma, let me start like this, when i and my husband first got married we did a joint business that fetched us a huge amount of money, the aim was to build a house, when we got the money, he decided to use his' for his parents (i had no problem with that) then mine for what we wanted to use it for

Two weeks ago we had a major misunderstanding, it was soo intense to the extent that he told me to park out of the house, in the heat of things i told him that cannot be possible that the house is in my name, he was shocked, saying it is impossible we built it together that it's in his name, i had to remind him what happened then, he was furious saying it was wrong of me to use my name, that he cant believe he has been staying in a house that does not belong to him, he told his family what i did claming victim, then he packed out saying he wont come home till i change the name to his full name, i begged him to no avail, i dont even know how to tell my people, imagine if it was in his name, i and the kids would have been out of the house by now, he has requested for transfer from his office to another state cos of this, who does that?? He cant expect me to change it to his name.

Pls i need other advise to go about this, he is a good man but he feels his ego has been bruised, i need other options.


MODIFIED For those viewing this, i have made some clarifications down to page (1),

I will start from where you said "he is a good man".
Please and please, don't push him out totally because of a property. Kindly do his bidding, thank God you are working with kids. Think about your kids, training them alone when there father is out there is not the best option. If your husband eventually did what you are thinking about the property after changing the name, I'm telling you, God will surprise you, you will also have your own property even more bigger than the one you are talking about now. Moreover, your biggest properties that God has given to you, I mean your kids are the ones you must jealously guard very well, tomorrow, they may decide to buy you not just a property, but your choice property which may be in any location of your choice.
So go and change the name as your husband requested. After this when you know that everything has settled, go to him when he is in a good mood and talk to him about it humbly. Whatever his reaction, take note of it and work on it, but never fight him. You are blessed. Wish you a happy home. Shalom.

I hope the house in question is big enough to yield enough revenue to take care of the children by the time the husband use vex Waka.

Nobody will bear the responsibility or the consequences of your actions with you.


I am done with this thread.

CSTR1005:

Yes, really

We see Yorubas all around us.

And...?

Lalasticlala this deserves front page.

Eketem:
I am confused as to why you are begging him.

You both got paid from a business
He used his own share for his parents, you used your own to build a house now he got angry and decided to kick you out of your own house, you told him it wasn't possible.

He gets angry and moves out
Let him stay out, he is a wicked man that would have been happy to see you out on the streets with your kids begging him up and down.

I don't understand why you are now begging him.

I don't know why Nigerian women are so desperate to keep wicked men

Honestly I wonder at the Op.

God has jejely removed him off her neck. He's more or less a thorn in the flesh. How wicked can a man be? He has the mind to even utter throwing his wife and kids out on the street and she's thinking of begging him and even changing the name of her property to his name..

Some women are so dumb.. I just don't understand.

You should be happy the friendly enemies in your life have been exposed.
So the man planned to send you out into the rain, and elements without looking back?
If you change the name to his, then know you have signed your death warrant.
A man you have lived with for so long, and trusted to have your back had the audacity to send you out of a home you both built.
You better let your people know. There are some things you shouldn't keep from your people, so that if anything happens to you, they will know the right direction to look.
Meanwhile, why didn't you use your own portion of the deal to look after your own parents? Abi you don't love your own people?
You prioritised what was necessary for you at that time, and he also prioritised his which is fine. He shouldn't start crying foul now.
If he says he can't live in the house, then let him go. He never put you guys first anyway. He will still end up sending you out last, last noni.