My own Step brother are even saying my mum used their destinies to enrich her children

They could not work rather they want you to be responsible for their upkeep and feeding.

When you dont have anything, you will be invincible ti them

kidman96:
Its no sense of entitlement, they are your family and getting in touch once in 2 months isn't harmless....




You never know their importance until there is a situation.

they are now his family because he is working, where were they when he was hustling on the street.

Thats how my uncle will be calling me for money since I got a job, the person that has never contributed anything to my life while growing suddenly becomes adviser. The most painful part is that, he never for once call my unemployed siblings. That is how I block his phone number. But I do call him once in six month sha and reblock the line again cause he will call for money 3days after the call.

lawyerbabs:
who extended family epp? make they all park well.

even immediate family, they can all go to hell, selfishness in high places

Mehn this topic touched home. Coincidentally I've got a particular uncle that's been complaining I don't call him. He's quite comfortable though retired so I know it's not for financial assistance, but my grouse had always been that he hardly ever called while we were younger, and all this extra-chumminess only started since he retired.

I gave it a thought and decided to call him, at least to greet and update him about developments in my life, the joy in his voice melted my heart. He simply didn't want the call to end; he told me he was aware of the developments as my dad had been giving him frequent updates. We joked, laughed, he congratulated me (recently got a new job) and prayed for further success for me. He ended by saying I made his day with that call

Call ended, was billed just N54, and was almost moved to tears & still amazed at how I brightened the day of an old uncle with just N54.

God bless you OP for this topic, and I admonish us to give that call a try. It could mean the world to that loved one.

QuotaSystem:
Mehn this topic touched home. Coincidentally I've got one uncle that's been complaining I don't call. He's quite comfortable though retired so I know it's not for financial assistance, but my grouse had always been that he hardly ever called while we were younger, and all this extra-chumminess only started since he retired.

I gave it a thought and decided to call him, at least to greet and update him about developments in my life, the joy in his voice melted my heart. He simply didn't want the call to end; he told me he was aware of the developments as my dad had been giving him frequent updates. We joked, laughed, he congratulated me (recently got a new job) and prayed for further success for me. He ended by saying I made his day with that call

Call ended, was billed just N54, and was almost moved to tears & still amazed at how I brightened the day of an old uncle with just N54.

God bless you OP for this topic, and I admonish us to give that call a try. It could mean the world to that loved one.

Lovely. You have a big heart.

Some people are too busy to care about maintaining relationships and forget that they'll, one day, be forced to slow down because of the process of aging. That period can be a lonely time for elderly people. But people who have pursued relationships with younger members of the family have them calling or popping in from time to time.

Thank you for forgiving and cheering your uncle up.

D only time i meet or see my extended family is during burial or marriage ceremony....


dy dnt give a bleep abt me



and i honestly feel d same way too

The day I gave up on people is the day my mother-in-law's sister accused me of not calling her, with all seriousness. I was just laughing inside me, I never call my mother-in-law finish na to add her to my speed dial.

If I don't call people, I don't bother accusing them that they don't call me because it goes both ways.

lorhema:


Lovely. You have a big heart.

Some people are too busy to care about maintaining relationships and forget that they'll, one day, be forced to slow down because of the process of aging. That period can be a lonely time for elderly people. But people who have pursued relationships with younger members of the family have them calling or popping in from time to time.

Thank you for forgiving and cheering your uncle up.

Well said. Thanks as well.

luminouz:

Look my face o biko

Lol

.

nazablossom:
The day I gave up on people is the day my mother-in-law's sister accused me of not calling her, with all seriousness. I was just laughing inside me, I never call my mother-in-law finish na to add her to my speed dial.

If I don't call people, I don't bother accusing them that they don't call me because it goes both ways.

That's the annoying thing - the seriousness they attach to it, at least I've said sorry. They'll now put up like their life depends on the calls.

QuotaSystem:
Mehn this topic touched home. Coincidentally I've got a particular uncle that's been complaining I don't call him. He's quite comfortable though retired so I know it's not for financial assistance, but my grouse had always been that he hardly ever called while we were younger, and all this extra-chumminess only started since he retired.

I gave it a thought and decided to call him, at least to greet and update him about developments in my life, the joy in his voice melted my heart. He simply didn't want the call to end; he told me he was aware of the developments as my dad had been giving him frequent updates. We joked, laughed, he congratulated me (recently got a new job) and prayed for further success for me. He ended by saying I made his day with that call

Call ended, was billed just N54, and was almost moved to tears & still amazed at how I brightened the day of an old uncle with just N54.

God bless you OP for this topic, and I admonish us to give that call a try. It could mean the world to that loved one.

Good one.

Reading peoples post just made me laugh....See we all need to understand that everyone is focused on making life better for themselves and their family, everyone has their challenges.....And while they are busy focused on how to make things good in their lives, other people don't come into the picture.....Most of the time its not intentional its just how we are has human beings......

Its when you are relaxed and have less to worry about that you remember other people.......That's how i see it anyway....I may be wrong

1stNumeroUno:


That's the annoying thing - the seriousness they attach to it, at least I've said sorry. They'll now put up like their life depends on the calls.

Very annoying.

The day one of my uncles said that thing eh, the reply I gave made him never to talk such again. I just told him "sir, but you too have my number nah", na style he take commot my front. This is someone that never cared us when we were schooling oo, and it's our daddy that sponsored his education till he got his masters degree o. What rubbish!

khalids:
Reading peoples post just made me laugh....See we all need to understand that everyone is focused on making life better for themselves and their family, everyone has their challenges.....And while they are busy focused on how to make things good in their lives, other people don't come into the picture.....Most of the time its not intentional its just how we are has human beings......

Its when you are relaxed and have less to worry about that you remember other people.......That's how i see it anyway....I may be wrong

You're quite right.

AgentGoat:
Why you sef no dey call them?

call them tell them wetin

BlueRayDick:
They are all like that. I personally don't give a 4ck about extended family. All I do is make sure my immediate family is well taken care of(My mum, dad and siblings whom we've been tru lot together). When an extended family member brings forth an accusation, I just allow them rant as much as they want and I just say ''No vex má, no vex sir''.

All those sense of entitlement NA for their pocket.

i never give excuse or apologise to anyone. Nobody's phone is a one way traffic

Cuteamigo1:
you have spoken well. i pity anyone who sees checking up on your family and visiting them every now and then as entitlement mentality. infact if thier is any reason you guys aren't bonding well it is because of not checking up on each other but many want to copy European style.

bros we are in a modern society. The hustling and bustling are just too much. I work morning till day, mon to fri. The weekends are always so short to spend with my family, not to talk of picking phone and calling the whole world.
Not like olden days when everybody lived together and were all farming. They had enough time for hanging out and visitations, we dont.
When something important or tragic happens, we pick phone and call those that matter and the info will be passed round.

happney65:
I did a Low Key wedding with just my immediate family members in attendance..we were just 10..Dad invited me to a Family function this weekend one of them was saying I got married without telling anybody..I was like Are you Mad or something? Me wey no send anybody

u even try do low key wedding. After my trad, i blanked everyone. I no even send wedding. God punish all of them. Na just come chop, clean mouth and ask me for money

thatigboman:
u even try do low key wedding. After my trad, i blanked everyone. I no even send wedding. God punish all of them. Na just come chop, clean mouth and ask me for money

Dont mind them..Me no even do Trad..I just went to court and thats all..Any Lady that is not ready to accept that you should and marry her father or someone else..I dont have time for any Family Shit..People i never see in Years ohh..I will be calling and informing everybody say i wan do marriage,spend millions on marriage where them go come chop and dance alone and Vamooze..Make them dey their Lane make i dey my lane..

Simple as ABC

BLOOD IS BLOOD , Rag's to trash , yours belongs to you , nuff said ! !

thatigboman:
bros we are in a modern society. The hustling and bustling are just too much. I work morning till day, mon to fri. The weekends are always so short to spend with my family, not to talk of picking phone and calling the whole world.
Not like olden days when everybody lived together and were all farming. They had enough time for hanging out and visitations, we dont.
When something important or tragic happens, we pick phone and call those that matter and the info will be passed round.

well i dont know what vibe you got from my post but trust me i know how you feel but nonetheless i stand by what i said. maybe its the standard i hold myself to so am sorry if i generalized with my answer. my fear is that what you described up there will only polarize family system we use to know because people are making little or no effort to fix it.

At a family function last month, my maternal Uncle started ranting that we don't call anyone and that it can lead to division within the family. He attacked my brother with the accusation.

My brother said 'With all due respect sir, I lived with Aunt XYZ (Uncle's younger sister) for over 9 years and you call her at least once in 2 weeks, you never for one day tell her to give me the phone or tell her to greet me. I believe you don't care about me. So, why will you expect me to call you?'

You need to see the way my Uncle became humble. In short, he apologized repeatedly.

For me, I call / contact only the people that care about my parents and siblings. Others should go and sit down somewhere.

Family members? Who has time for their palaver? You're better off when you keep out of sight. I don't attend family functions, my big sister does, she's the first born. My siblings and I always joked that we've donated her to them. The thing is they don't care. Especially my dad's relatives. My mum's are better, they call and visit. My husband's relatives? Na their own worst pass! Always wanting to reap where they didn't sow.. I just avoid any encounter, that's the best.

Cuteamigo1:
you have spoken well. i pity anyone who sees checking up on your family and visiting them every now and then as entitlement mentality. infact if thier is any reason you guys aren't bonding well it is because of not checking up on each other but many want to copy European style.

when they dont even care or check on you.

jesmond3945:
when they dont even care or check on you.

indeed.