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Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: - Culture - Nairaland

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Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 3:50am On Jun 26, 2010
Hi Guys,

Pls can someone inform me of the steps involved in a Yoruba traditional wedding. Because i would love to have one when I get married in addition to a Church wedding, but i dont know what is involved in it. Pls some1 advise me of the steps involved.

Thanks!

(P.S. I am yoruba myself but have never been to or seen a yorub trad wedding take place, so any info will be much appreciated! smiley )
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by Nobody: 4:23am On Jun 26, 2010
Naija_Sisi:

Hi Guys,

Pls can someone inform me of the steps involved in a Yoruba traditional wedding. Because i would love to have one when I get married in addition to a Church wedding, but i dont know what is involved in it. Pls some1 advise me of the steps involved.

Thanks!

(P.S. I am yoruba myself but have never been to or seen a yoruba trad wedding take place, so any info will be much appreciated! smiley )
WHile you're waiting for advice, why dont you also ask your parents? They must have also had a traditional wedding too?

ANywaz, subscribing to the topic.
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 4:38am On Jun 26, 2010
nah they didnt they're not really into all that but i am
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by member479760: 4:41am On Jun 28, 2010
You are a yoruba person and u dont know, well nobi only u no know na our parents i go blame.
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 10:43am On Jun 28, 2010
nakedall:

You are a yoruba person and u dont know

its not my fault naa, i asked my dad and he said it varies from state 2 state. also he said that he used 2 attend those kind of weddings but after a while stopped because they were too long-winded, as for my mum, she is not even interested in at all, she too finds it too long i think,

But me if not for the fact im in london i would be a really traditional cultural yorub girl, n(ot saying that i would be rigid or have a mind-set of old ways, i'll still be modern) but i think it is rite for me 2 learn evryting i can about my culture, so that is wat i am doing.

And as for wedding i think its only rite (as the the very well cultured girl i am cheesy ) 4 me 2 have a trad. one as well as church.

so abeg nakedall no blame me oo, i dey try!! smiley
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by Rebirth(m): 2:03pm On Jun 28, 2010
This is what I find so annoying about Nairaland,
Someone asks for help and then so *****s start asking questions and making silly comments. If you don't have a solution, why create a new problem.

http://otal.umd.edu/~vg/pwf98/pw61/final.html

3 Likes

Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by damilola15: 2:27pm On Jun 28, 2010
I didn't know yoruba traditional wedding still existed. grin grin grin grin grin grin grin
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by kokoye(m): 2:46pm On Jun 28, 2010
@post.

It will be VERY hard for you to have a real traditional yoruba wedding if your parents are not interested.

A traditional yoruba wedding is really all about the parents and relatives. So you need to taker care of that portion first of all. . . then you can get the needed information and advice from interested and trusted family members. . . you will need them for it to be a success.
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by landtraza(m): 2:54pm On Jun 28, 2010
Naija_Sisi:


its not my fault naa, i asked my dad and he said it varies from state 2 state. also he said that he used 2 attend those kind of weddings but after a while stopped because they were too long-winded, as for my mum, she is not even interested in at all, she too finds it too long i think,

But me if not for the fact im in london i would be a really traditional cultural yorub girl, n(ot saying that i would be rigid or have a mind-set of old ways, i'll still be modern) but i think it is rite for me 2 learn evryting i can about my culture, so that is wat i am doing.

And as for wedding i think its only rite (as the the very well cultured girl i am cheesy ) 4 me 2 have a trad. one as well as church.

so abeg nakedall no blame me oo, i dey try!! smiley
can only tell you about that of the IGBO tribe. smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by oisehumen(m): 2:57pm On Jun 28, 2010
I can give u some hints.
Am from Edo but my wife is Yoruba (Ogun State) and we did traditional, court and church wedding.

But tell me precisely what u really wanna know please.
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by thweraja10: 3:09pm On Jun 28, 2010
There are some organisation that offers that kind of services, meet them for info
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by beeman80: 3:40pm On Jun 28, 2010
Hello nairalanders.My camry refused to start all of a sudden this weekend.I have had mechanics and rewires look at it but all to no avail.Though they were able to observe that no charge was getting to the plugs.Has anyone had such experience?
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by birdman(m): 3:46pm On Jun 28, 2010
I'd skip it if I were you, your parents aren't going to like the rigor involved. It oonly works out well when the families are on the same page
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by oisehumen(m): 3:47pm On Jun 28, 2010
beeman80:

Hello nairalanders.My camry refused to start all of a sudden this weekend.I have had mechanics and rewires look at it but all to no avail.Though they were able to observe that no charge was getting to the plugs.Has anyone had such experience?
.

Did u read the topic at all?
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by Katecool(f): 3:55pm On Jun 28, 2010
There are some books that enlihgtens more of our culture. I advice u go for them. (Asa ati Ise ile Yoruba written by Owolabi and Jeje)
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 3:56pm On Jun 28, 2010
kokoye:

@post.

It will be VERY hard for you to have a real traditional yoruba wedding if your parents are not interested.

A traditional yoruba wedding is really all about the parents and relatives. So you need to taker care of that portion first of all. . . then you can get the needed information and advice from interested and trusted family members. . . you will need them for it to be a success.

nooo dont get me wrong, i spoke 2 my parents about it and they said of course they would attend, so dats not d issue. d problem is they are not in a position 2 advice me of the steps involved as they rarely go to these kind of wedding themselves. i appreciate d advice tho and will do just that! Thanks!  smiley  wink cheesy grin

thweraja10:

There are some organisation that offers that kind of services, meet them for info
which kind of organisations are that? more info pls.




oisehumen:

I can give u some hints.
Am from Edo but my wife is Yoruba (Ogun State) and we did traditional, court and church wedding.

But tell me precisely what u really wanna know please.

wow thats very interesting it never even crossed my mind how trad. weddings would go if the husband and wife-to -be are from different tribes. im from osun so the way it is done may b different from other states. i just wanted to know what is involved, like a step-by-step guide, or something like that
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 3:59pm On Jun 28, 2010
oisehumen:

.

Did u read the topic at all?

abi oo oisehumen!! e b like sey im blind or sometin, dis one dat he is disturbing my topic

Katecool:

There are some books that enlihgtens more of our culture. I advice u go for them. (Asa ati Ise ile Yoruba written by Owolabi and Jeje)


thanks cheesy tho can i get the book in london
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 4:01pm On Jun 28, 2010
birdman:

I'd skip it if I were you, your parents aren't going to like the rigor involved. It oonly works out well when the families are on the same page

uve got a really good point there but am sure they will support me because they know how passionate i am about my culture, they will bare it for me
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by IRAPADA(m): 4:01pm On Jun 28, 2010
U beta bone that process cos by time u complete the process your pocket is going to ve a very big hole.My advise is make u carry ur girl frd go court an just do small paper work and she bcom ur iyawo
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 4:10pm On Jun 28, 2010
IRAPADA:

U beta bone that process cos by time u complete the process your pocket is going to ve a very big hole.My advise is make u carry your girl frd go court an just do small paper work and she bcom your iyawo

my dear im a girl, and from d little info i gathered its actually d man who will end up spendin more money, so i dnt tink i have much 2 worry about in dat department! and i no want "small" oo, i want a big big sometin as in a big celebration as this will be a very important time in my life, u know,
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by gidig(m): 4:12pm On Jun 28, 2010
I have attended quite a few and I still think you will need someone from your family to be engaged in the negotiations. It is not very rigid as there will demand for a bride price from your groom's family. These will be all sorts of things ranging from food items to gifts and clothes. There will be a rep (they are usually for hire and they bring some comic relief to the ceremony- ask your groom's friends to come with naira notes. Go for the lower denomination to spread around the different 'Taxes' they will pay )  from both sides who will engage in the negotiation. The bride price would have be agreed on at the introduction. That is the gist of it.
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by NaijaSisi(f): 4:22pm On Jun 28, 2010
gidig:

I have attended quite a few and I still think you will need someone from your family to be engaged in the negotiations. It is not very rigid as there will demand for a bride price from your groom's family. These will be all sorts of things ranging from food items to gifts and clothes. There will be a rep (they are usually for hire and they bring some comic relief to the ceremony- ask your groom's friends to come with naira notes. Go for the lower denomination to spread around the different 'Taxes' they will pay ) from both sides who will engage in the negotiation. The bride price would have be agreed on at the introduction. That is the gist of it.


e she gaan my dear that is v. helpful. God bless u smiley kiss
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by IRAPADA(m): 4:47pm On Jun 28, 2010
Naija_Sisi:

my dear im a girl, and from d little info i gathered its actually d man who will end up spendin more money, so i dnt tink i have much 2 worry about in dat department! and i no want "small" oo, i want a big big sometin as in a big celebration as this will be a very important time in my life, u know,
so u want put ur guy for gbese in d name of ' important time in my life' abeg suffry suffry o
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by oisehumen(m): 5:04pm On Jun 28, 2010
Let me share my experience with u then, maybe it could benefit u after all.

1. I took my parents and relations there to my in-laws house for a formal introduction.
The essence was for us to get to know each other. A list containing items for the traditional/engagement ceremony was handed to my parents. A date was fixed.

2 We proceeded to do the court marriage. The certificate is needed to enable you do the church/white wedding. I attend RCCG; the will not join you if the registry certificate is not presented by the would-be couple and their parents consent too.

3. Engagement ceremony day. I went there with my parents, relations and friends with the items there were given me during the introduction. There is no stereotyped way of doing it, depends on the family of the bride. Then, the normal traditional rites followed; blah blah blah.

4. White wedding, then reception.
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by dayokanu(m): 5:14pm On Jun 28, 2010
For the traditional wedding I assume you mean the introduction and engagement.

Its just a fun thing. They make the groom and his family prostrate and "beg" to marry the girl.

Later they would veil different girls and tell him to identify his wife among them.

Every member of the two families would be introduced with lots of singing and dancing. Different aso ebi and the 2 families try to make a good impression on the other side to showow that you are marrying from a correct family

When my cousin did his in 2008 he was so bored from all the stuff that he just told me to help him fill his bottled water bottle with beer every 10 minutes So people wont know he was shacking while they were doing the thing, after 2 hours he was so drunk that he started enjoying it. At a time he prostrated and almost couldnt stand up again.

It was funny, but dem go tax the groom family wella not in brideprice but in other things like the MC's and the women in the house
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by tpiah: 6:47pm On Jun 28, 2010
you want to spend money undecided

introduction- already covered by someone here.


trad. wedding- you need to hire different performers like traditional musicians, entertainers, go-between, etc.

have your family oriki handy so the musicians will have something to work with.

you need plenty of relatives from both sides, for the festivities. In parts of the world, i heard sometimes people hire small crowds as necessary eg if there arent enough people available.

Your fiance needs his friends and relations for the prostration part.

etc etc - food, drinks etc.

most of the other stuff has been covered by other posters.

that's how it's done back home sha- not sure how they do it abroad.

oh yes, you need new native attire, suitcase, this thing called engagement book, etc.

dont know if there's a website with a step by step account.

and expect some token bad belle from family members who use the occasion to sometimes give each other nasty looks. In short, na full entertainment.
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by CarlosVent(m): 7:08pm On Jun 28, 2010
yoruba get many tins abeg
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by funkybaby(f): 7:58pm On Jun 28, 2010
this is how i know yoruba traditional wedding is done and it is also how i want mine done as well   grin

1. Introduction
After bobo has proposed and i have accepted and both families have been informed, he will decide a date to bring his family (no more than 10, his father inclusive) to come to my parent's house for a formal introduction. Naturally, they are not to come empty handed. They are to come with little gifts (usually fruits, big bunches of plantain, etc)

This will be a 'sitting room' gathering. No 'aso ebis', 'live band' and the likes. Now this introduction will consist of nicely prepared meals where both families will exchange banter and eat together and my bobo's dad will inform my dad that his son wants to marry me and they are in full support of his son's decision. My dad will then inform them of the likely date/month the formal engagement will hold.

When they are about to leave, my 'in laws' to be will be given gifts from my folks (prolly fruits, drinks, etc).

The 'engagement list' will be sent to my bobo's family later. The list is usually complied after consultations within my family/extended family. Each family has their own requirements. For example, my dad will never ask for schnapps or dry gin. While some family, it is complusory.

2. Engagement
For this, friends and family will be invited. Venue might be my parent's house or a rented hall. Bobo and I will wear 'aso-ebi'. There will be 'alaga duro'.
During the engagement ceremony, bobo prostrates to the bride's parents as demanded by yoruba tradition.There is the usual drama of bride price which is usually a little token. Few collect it, and most do not. Usual line is that they are not selling their daughter. 
Bobo gives me ring, we cut a little ceremonial cake and share a few kisses in the full glare of our parents  grin
Bobo's family also presents what was required in the engagement list.

There will be a live musical band. Dancing and spraying of naira notes grin

3. Church wedding
Exchange of vows in God's temple

4. Reception
After party. Plenty food, drinks, souvenirs, etc

5. After party at the groom's family home
Depends largely on the groom's family. Some will have a small party welcoming the bride to their family. Others will do it in a big way. . . . . Live band with Sunny Ade or KWAM 1 jamming all night  grin
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by baslone: 8:22pm On Jun 28, 2010
All you have said[b]- ON POINT!![/b], but this part. . . .

funkybaby:

. . Live band with Sunny Ade or KWAM 1 jamming all night  grin

Na so!!! grin grin. . . you are on your own! wink
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by funkybaby(f): 8:27pm On Jun 28, 2010
baslone:

All you have said[b]- ON POINT!![/b], but this part. . . .

Na so!!!  grin  grin. . .  you are on your ownwink

Ki ni big deal  grin

If groom's parents are the 100 percent Christians, then i guess its either Ebenezer Obey, Yinka Ayefele or Midnight Crew  grin grin grin

personally, i would LOVE to have King Sunny Ade or Ayo Balogun play at my wedding engagement cheesy grin
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by Sauron1: 8:29pm On Jun 28, 2010
funkybaby:

this is how i know yoruba traditional wedding is done and it is also how i want mine done as well   grin

1. Introduction
After bobo has proposed and i have accepted and both families have been informed, he will decide a date to bring his family (no more than 10, his father inclusive) to come to my parent's house for a formal introduction. Naturally, they are not to come empty handed. They are to come with little gifts (usually fruits, big bunches of plantain, etc)

This will be a 'sitting room' gathering. No 'aso ebis', 'live band' and the likes. Now this introduction will consist of nicely prepared meals where both families will exchange banter and eat together and my bobo's dad will inform my dad that his son wants to marry me and they are in full support of his son's decision. My dad will then inform them of the likely date/month the formal engagement will hold.

When they are about to leave, my 'in laws' to be will be given gifts from my folks (prolly fruits, drinks, etc).

The 'engagement list' will be sent to my bobo's family later. The list is usually complied after consultations within my family/extended family. Each family has their own requirements. For example, my dad will never ask for schnapps or dry gin. While some family, it is complusory.

2. Engagement
For this, friends and family will be invited. Venue might be my parent's house or a rented hall. Bobo and I will wear 'aso-ebi'. There will be 'alaga duro'.
During the engagement ceremony, bobo prostrates to the bride's parents as demanded by yoruba tradition.There is the usual drama of bride price which is usually a little token. Few collect it, and most do not. Usual line is that they are not selling their daughter. 
Bobo gives me ring, we cut a little ceremonial cake and share a few kisses in the full glare of our parents  grin
Bobo's family also presents what was required in the engagement list.

There will be a live musical band. Dancing and spraying of naira notes grin

3. Church wedding
Exchange of vows in God's temple

4. Reception
After party. Plenty food, drinks, souvenirs, etc

5. After party at the groom's family home
Depends largely on the groom's family. Some will have a small party welcoming the bride to their family. Others will do it in a big way. . . . . Live band with Sunny Ade or KWAM 1 jamming all night  grin

How much will the Yoruba Traditional Marriage cost?
Re: Yoruba Traditional Marriage - What Are The Steps Involved? Pls Help: by funkybaby(f): 8:39pm On Jun 28, 2010
~Sauron~:

How much will the Yoruba Traditional Marriage cost?

I cant really place a figure but i think 2million naira (excluding Sunny Ade's perfomance fee  grin grin grin grin) should be enough for a decent and modest traditional wedding.

It depends really on what the couple wants/what the family wants. . . .

some families will prefer a low key wedding. will some will want it done in an extravagant way.

However, i think number 1 (introduction) should not cost too much. This is because it is more like hosting a 'house party' for 20 people.

Number 2 (engagement) might be a little pricey . . . . depending on the venue. Costs of good halls in lagos are high but if it is going to be held at the bride's parents place, then that cost is out of the picture.

I think it is the wedding reception that gulps the highest sum of money

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