My wife dated several men before we met and eventually got married- she told me about most of these men and I thought it didnt matter, now however Im finding it very difficult to cope with these facts- I often imgine her making love to different men and its really draining the respect I should have for her

Is this something other married men also feel? or is there something terribly wrong with me?

I really i'm not happy about these thoughts but how to I get them out of my mind? Need some advice please

- were you virgin when you met her?!
- she did told you about all these men before you guys got married, so complaining now wouldnt be fair.

as much as it may be difficult to accept, you can just picture yourself with all the cuties you had before you met your wife. i dont think there is anything wrong with you but, depending on how long you guys have been married, the thoughts of wifey with other men should have faded in your mind by now.

swoosh:


is there something terribly wrong with me?

maybe

Yeah, it's you.

MRbrownJAY:

- were you virgin when you met her?!

i want to know to.

more reason why, certain personal issues should be kept in the cupboard as long as it doesnt/wouldnt disrupt the function of the marriage/relationshipi in the present/future

Yes it is you

Ok granted - its me. So what do I need to do?

I need advice not just blame

chaircover:

How long have you been married? do you have kids? Do you 100% trust her? Do you love her?

Are you cheating on her?

good question

You know when we want to do something "wrong", we have to look for a reason to justify what we are doing or about to do. Beware that you don`t fall into temptation. On the one hand it is not wise for a wife to talk about her past to her husband on the other hand, she wanted to be honest to you. Why are you now betraying that trust. Look at it this way, she knows and appreciates what she has in you. Do you realise that many women enter a marriage naive but then in the marriage they go astray and get carried away.She belongs to you now what more do you want.
You cannot stop thinking about it but you certainly can tell yourself that it is normal that when you meet a woman she has had a past.

mutter:

You know when we want to do something "wrong", we have to look for a reason to justify what we are doing or about to do. Beware that you don`t fall into temptation. On the one hand it is not wise for a wife to talk about her past to her husband on the other hand, she wanted to be honest to you. Why are you now betraying that trust. Look at it this way, she knows and appreciates what she has in you. Do you realise that many women enter a marriage naive but then in the marriage they go astray and get carried away.She belongs to you now what more do you want.
You cannot stop thinking about it but you certainly can tell yourself that it is normal that when you meet a woman she has had a past.

MRbrownJAY:

- were you virgin when you met her?!
- she did told you about all these men before you guys got married, so complaining now wouldnt be fair.

as much as it may be difficult to accept, you can just picture yourself with all the cuties you had before you met your wife. i dont think there is anything wrong with you but, depending on how long you guys have been married, the thoughts of wifey with other men should have faded in your mind by now.

These are only helpful posts so far.

I know its wrong to be having those thoughts and I dont let my wife know about them. I realize its wrong and im battling to get rid of them- so what I need is advice  - and from married people (especially men)- not the single ladies who are probably just worried that they will find themselves in similar situation or the single guys who dont know what it means to call a woman your wife (im not talking about a girlfriend here)

chaircover:

Swoosh you didn't answer the question. Are u having or in the process of starting an affair?

NO

Stop asking her about her ex's and stop troubling yourself. If she is faithful, that's all you need.

swoosh:


My wife dated several men before we met and eventually got married- she told me about most of these men and I thought it didnt matter, now however Im finding it very difficult to cope with these facts - I often imgine her making love to different men and its really draining the respect I should have for her

Is this something other married men also feel? or is there something terribly wrong with me?

I really i'm not happy about these thoughts but how to I get them out of my mind? Need some advice please

@swoosh

Does your wife share your ogling passion in the below link too (i.e.  " . . . this is about celebrating our well endowed Nigerian Women" )

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?topic=105339.msg6277954#msg6277954

Shameless Pot-calling-Kettle-black timewaster

swoosh:

My wife dated several men before we met and eventually got married- she told me about most of these men and I thought it didnt matter, now however Im finding it very difficult to cope with these facts- I often imgine her making love to different men and its really draining the respect I should have for her

Is this something other married men also feel? or is there something terribly wrong with me?

I really i'm not happy about these thoughts but how to I get them out of my mind? Need some advice please

@Poster
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280920

Bros u don't need the load. Is she still dating them? Love her cos she is now ur wife. Suppose she never told u? Would that have made u better? I think u ar just fuming over ur vain imagination. She is ur wife now. We all have our pasts. Let ur past as a family be in d past. Love her and pls respect her.

swoosh #864 on: June 20, 2010, 11:21 PM :


Some Nigerian girls've got booties (especially Yoruba babes) - but that's like 15%

- in contrast at 85% of Southern African chicks (South AFrica, Zimbabswe, Botwana) have huge - I mean very huge booties)

but wait for this,

After spending some time in Johannesburg now,

I can say I have seen and bleeped the biggest asses that I previously thought only existed in pornographic movies

- but the truth is, most of these huge things are only enticing when covered in blue jeans.

Sex with these girls is not as fun as it appears

(well after the first time - u know the excitement of bleeping that huge backside really get u on

but after that, it all dies off cos u exert a lot of energy with little impact

-  the hips cover a lot of ground so u need to dig deep for them to even feel you)

I'm now looking for slim girls with just slight asses - cos that's where the real fun is.

With slim girls, there's a wider surface area for greater impact with minimal effort

- and that the definition of efficiency (FYI- this is reason white men prefer slim babes)

@swoosh

. . . also does your wife know about your past escapades and recently nursed fantasies

(i.e. the above past escapades and recently nursed fantasies excerpt from https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-105339.864.html#msg6252117 )

Or is this a double standard game you're playing here uh?

Pinocchio! Pfft!!

swoosh:

NO

Lair!

It wouldnt 'bother' you so much if you weren't trying to justify your philandering!

e36991:

@swoosh

Ewwww! He's a perv too . .

See as they dug out his past

@ujujoan
i almost started on your case till i saw the OPs post about the specifics of knacking the different bootay sizes. . .i woulda felt soooo stupid in the end. . .

netotse:

@ujujoan
i almost started on your case till i saw the OPs post about the specifics of knacking the different bootay sizes. . .i woulda felt soooo silly in the end. . .

Really?

Well, I didn't need to see his previous posts before . . It's just plain psychology!

If he wasn't a virgin is hating on his wife _{who he married knowing fully well she wasn't a virgin either}, then he has something to hide!

@Poster
http://www.enotalone.com/forum/showthread.php?t=280920

Thanx Ifyalways- thanks so much, you're a star

I would advise some of you  to visit this site and see how civilized people post

I have found the answers I need from this other site and can see that many other people feel this way so now I know there's nothing abnormal with me so I'd just need to work at clearing these thoughts

Thanks again Ifyalways

I dont need anymore advice - so if you're posting anything else on this thread, you're simply jobless and wasting your time

Another 'outed' hypocrite bites the dust.

chaircover:

LOL

It wasn't rocket science though; Mr & Mrs Average don't suddenly start to sweat & have sleepless nights about their partners previous escapades especially as they knew about it all BEFORE they got married.

It was either he was having an affair or his wife has given him reason to suspect her. Very simple.

So all this Drama about people being rude an unhelpful is exactly what it is . . . . . .DRAMA . Some people just dont like being told the truth end of.

As always Chaircover, well reasoned and well said. Girl, you are a wise and respectful lady.

swoosh:

Thanx Ifyalways- thanks so much, you're a star

I would advise some of you to visit this site and see how civilized people post

I have found the answers I need from this other site and can see that many other people feel this way so now I know there's nothing abnormal with me so I'd just need to work at clearing these thoughts

Thanks again Ifyalways

I dont need anymore advice - so if you're posting anything else on this thread, you're simply jobless and wasting your time

That's because they dont' know you are such a fibber

29 huh? isnt' that 34 I see on your profile?

Plus they don't get to see your previous posts here on NL! You only slept with one girl my behind!

Lair!

Never a question that you never wanted an answer to.
So it is you and you alone.
Deal with it before your home is scattered

swoosh your feelings are perfectly normal and has nothing to do with your wanting to cheat on your wife. I have the same feelings now with an ex. She and i are trying to get back together but i cant just overcome the fact that i know she lost her virginity to another guy . . . someone i know very well and once lived with for a yr and my junior! What annoys me most is that while we were together she was always sensitive to being touched. Unlike you however, i have made up my mind that is going to be a major stumbling block and i cant bring myself to marry her with that hanging.

Get over it . . . sometimes i have realised the less you know about a woman's past the better.

awon boiz and performance/size anxiety