Hello guys,

So, the last couple of weeks have been filled with social media outrage at the actions of R-Kelly, which were made known via the documentary 'Surviving R-Kelly' which details his molestation of several underaged girls, over the course of decades.

As expected, most of the outrage has been directed at R-Kelly, but the purpose of this write-up is not so much on the perpetrator, but the other adults who were just as complacent in his actions as he was; the parents.

These girls were at R-Kelly's house, how did they get there? Whose parents allowed them visit a grown man's house? Some of these girls were brought to his concerts by their parents and their parents let them go backstage with him, unattended to. Through the period he molested them, did their parents have no inkling what was going on with their young daughters or did they just turn a blind eye? Aaliyah went on tour with R-Kelly at 15, who allowed it? Who was the adult in her life that should have stopped this act?

What kind of parents were they?

What kind of parents are we?

What kind of parent are you?

What is your role in your young child's life?

It is very easy, especially in today's world, to lose track of our kids, to lose track of their progress, to turn a blind eye to their woes, to their struggles, to ignore their silent cries for help. Parents are far too occupied with making money, they want a better life for the child at an adult life, but in the process of doing this, you sacrifice their growth as children, you sacrifice the most important years of their lives; the formative years. And you think all is well, because they are being fed..... But what are your kids being fed?

You give them physical food, but what are they being fed mentally, psychologically, spiritually? Are you up to date on the current happenings in the lives of your kids? Do you know their close friends? Do you know where they go to hang out? Do you know who they talk to? Do you know what they get up to when they are not with you?


Some people are so obsessed with making that cash, they send their kids off to live with strangers. Some kids are in boarding school for six straight years and spend at most, a month or two with their parents in a year. Who is spending 10 months with your child? What are they feeding your kid? What ideals do your kids have?

Some are physically present, but mentally absent. You don't gist with your child, but he or she comfortably spends long hours gisting with one uncle or aunty in the neighborhood. What is that uncle or aunty telling your child? Are you even concerned about what he is learning?


Even more, what odd things as a parent have you noticed with your kid? Are they using the wrong vocabulary? Do they have advanced opinions on life that rub you off the wrong way? Are they watching the wrong things? And how do they interprete the things they watch?

Can your child meet you to discuss sensitive topics or do you just refer them to a religious book when they ask you or send them off to another person? What have you taught your kid, whether male or female, about concepts like 'consent' 'respect' 'boundaries'?

What are the values you instill in your kids? Do you teach them to respect themselves and others? Or do you teach them to fear their elders? Do you teach them to put themselves first, love themselves, protect themselves? Do you teach them to only respect those who deserve to be respected? Have you made your child vulnerable by telling them adults can do no wrong? Have you convinced your child that if an aunty or uncle or any adult touches them inappropriately, it is their fault?


Have you told your child they are beautiful, intelligent, precious, amazing? What are you telling your kids and what are you setting them up for?


R-Kelly is a paedophile, a cradlerobber, am immoral man, but he had enablers. He had careless parents who let their kids stray, parents who sacrificed their kids on an altar of fame and fortune.


What kind of parent are you?

Morals and values is dead in this age especially with Western culture that's what is happen now . I remember vividly when bill Clinton came to Nigeria saying he nigerians should keep their culture and not copy the western culture. identity crisis is at peak among our youths especially divorce is on the increase ,rape , paledophile,hard drugs e.tc I am not surprised,this foreign culture is eating deep in Nigeria good write up Op

Very educative. Every parent should ponder on this. Good write up O.p.

You're too much girl! Preach, make them hear true words!

Insightful.

I was discussing this with my colleagues today. The parents failed in their duties, which is why the R Kellys of this world will keep molesting naive girls

Nice one OP.

Anyway, parenting in western world is pure failure. They have no much authority and right on thier own children because of their law.

And lastly don't believe every thing from the western media, they are evil. They'd do anything to get at people, this was how they almost destroy MJ that year. Same thing one useless U.K politician David Vance is doing to the Yoruba tribe all because of a Britsh Yoruba man he doesn't agree with.

Stay away from western media propaganda.

Thanks.

Please, concentrate on the R.K.s on NL and Nigeria first.

No need to point fingers. At least the girls and parents had “choices” abi?

Poverty in Africa worse pass R.Kelly abeg!!!!

KanwuliaExtra:
Please, concentrate on the R.K.s on NL and Nigeria first.

No need to point fingers. At least the girls and parents had “choices” abi?

Poverty in Africa worse pass R.Kelly abeg!!!!

this thread is addressing Nigerian parents using the R-Kelly saga.

If I wanted to address any other group, I wouldn't post on NL.


People always have a choice, even in poverty. It is greed that leads people to do wrong, if you use poverty as an excuse, everyone will have an excuse.

R-Kelly's own is that he was molested as a child. Doing right should not be determined by your status in society

Aside learning that as parent we need to do better, what I also found out from the whole R Kelly drama is. Hurt people,Hurt people.

Most times, Abused victims go ahead to Reenact the Abuse on others. So if you are a single lady or man, you always need to Ask the deep questions.


know about your intending spouse. About his childhood. Was his father a violent man, was he a serial cheat. Find out before you say I do.

zeb04:
Aside learning that as parent we need to do better, what I also found out from the whole R Kelly drama is. Hurt people,Hurt people.

Most times, Abused victims go ahead to Reenact the Abuse on others. So if you are a single lady or man, you always need to Ask the deep questions.


know about your intending spouse. About his childhood. Was his father a violent man, was he a serial cheat. Find out before you say I do.

if we go by this logic, then abused people should be condemned by society and should never seek true love and companionship?

I'm a believer in the freewillist ideology. Not every abused person goes on to abuse others, some victims of abuse go on to be extremely protective because they know the kind of hurt that goes into abuse. R-Kelly's brother was also abused, but he didn't go on to abuse young girls.

Like Keke Palmer said, having been abused, R-Kelly should have been a protector of victims of abuse knowing the psychological harm that comes with it, but rather than do that, he chose to sink into the dark waters himself.


Of course, single people should look out for signs that a person may be psychologically unwell due to abuse, but they should also look for signs that the person is making efforts to better himself, because many are.

There are some people that were never abused, but they become abusive due to one experience or the other. So, while I agree that we should be better at examining character, I don't think throwing away the baby with the bathwater by condemning victims of abuse would be the appropriate thing to do, lest you send them into depression or they just become sociopaths.

safarigirl:
if we go by this logic, then abused people should be condemned by society and should never seek true love and companionship?

I'm a believer in the freewillist ideology. Not every abused person goes on to abuse others, some victims of abuse go on to be extremely protective because they know the kind of hurt that goes into abuse. R-Kelly's brother was also abused, but he didn't go on to abuse young girls.

Like Keke Palmer said, having been abused, R-Kelly should have been a protector of victims of abuse knowing the psychological harm that comes with it, but rather than do that, he chose to sink into the dark waters himself.


Of course, single people should look out for signs that a person may be psychologically unwell due to abuse, but they should also look for signs that the person is making efforts to better himself, because many are.

There are some people that were never abused, but they become abusive due to one experience or the other. So, while I agree that we should be better at examining character, I don't think throwing away the baby with the bathwater by condemning victims of abuse would be the appropriate thing to do, lest you send them into depression or they just become sociopaths.

. Of course And that is why I wrote “most times” not in all cases.

Very insightful write up.

zeb04:
Aside learning that as parent we need to do better, what I also found out from the whole R Kelly drama is. Hurt people,Hurt people.

Most times, Abused victims go ahead to Reenact the Abuse on others. So if you are a single lady or man, you always need to Ask the deep questions.


[b]Know about your intending spouse. About his childhood. Was his father a violent man, was he a serial cheat.[/b]Find out before you say I do.

At the bolded, spot on. That's the foundation of an man - the home front. The father figure in his life.

safarigirl:
this thread is addressing Nigerian parents using the R-Kelly saga.

If I wanted to address any other group, I wouldn't post on NL.


People always have a choice, even in poverty. It is greed that leads people to do wrong, if you use poverty as an excuse, everyone will have an excuse.

R-Kelly's own is that he was molested as a child. Doing right should not be determined by your status in society

Not applicable. . . . You don’t need R. Kellys in Africa, only POVERTY! WE NOR GET CHOICE FOR AFRICA O!

With all the awon “olosho guguru and epa+opa” all over Africa?

R. Kelly na TALENTED, SADISTIC, ILLITERATE, MEGA-PORN-STAR with SERIOUS SWAG ke!

Im JUJU na helele! Na correct babes R. Kelly dey “magnet” o!

Please, don’t compare!

Nice one.

Nice writeup but all these allegations againt R Kelly doesn't hold water until he is actually convicted of committing the crime...

YourCoffin:
Nice writeup but all these allegations againt R Kelly doesn't hold water until he is actually convicted of committing the crime...

tell that to Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson

Accusations will ruin your life in America far more than any conviction, especially when you are a black man.

safarigirl:
tell that to Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson

Accusations will ruin your life in America far more than any conviction, especially when you are a black man.

That happens, but not in this case. Allegations of R Kelly’s sexual predation started at the very beginning of his career, yet he went on to have a successful musical career, which allowed him to pay off his poor and vulnerable accusers. But now, his #TimesUp.

Seun:
That happens, but not in this case. Allegations of R Kelly’s sexual predation started at the very beginning of his career, yet he went on to have an succesful musical career, which allowed him to pay off his poor and vulnerable accusers. But now, his #TimesUp.

how are you sure,even when he had a sextape as evidence.
He was set free, nobody cares about the black
Someone said in the documentary that if these were white girls rkelly will be long gone

KanwuliaExtra:


Not applicable. . . . You don’t need R. Kellys in Africa, only POVERTY! WE NOR GET CHOICE FOR AFRICA O!

With all the awon “olosho guguru and epa+opa” all over Africa?

R. Kelly na TALENTED, SADISTIC, ILLITERATE, MEGA-PORN-STAR with SERIOUS SWAG ke!

Im JUJU na helele! Na correct babes R. Kelly dey “magnet” o!

Please, don’t compare!

with this nonsense emanating from your fingers, let's hope one day one celebrity in the U.S doesn't use his/her swag to molest your kids.

Selah.

Seun:
That happens, but not in this case. Allegations of R Kelly’s sexual predation started at the very beginning of his career, yet he went on to have an succesful musical career, which allowed him to pay off his poor and vulnerable accusers. But now, his #TimesUp.

the MeToo movement has put a microscope on activities of molesters, social media has made people far more aware and critical of these things as well. I suppose that's why he's facing this level of backlash.

Anyway, he hasn't had much of a career of recent. He just makes money from his music because he owns the masters.

safarigirl:
the MeToo movement has put a microscope on activities of molesters, social media has made people far more aware and critical of these things as well. I suppose that's why he's facing this level of backlash.

Anyway, he hasn't had much of a career of recent. He just makes money from his music because he owns the masters.

how old were the girls R Kelly allegedly molested, if I may ask?.

AHCB:
how old were the girls R Kelly allegedly molested, if I may ask?.

evem though I know where you're going with this, I will still indulge you.

They were 12 and older.... Mostly teenagers, some fourteen, fifteen.

What does their age matter? Does it negate the fact that they were molested?

safarigirl:
evem though I know where you're going with this, I will still indulge you.

They were 12 and older.... Mostly teenagers, some fourteen, fifteen.

What does their age matter? Does it negate the fact that they were molested?

molested? That's a strong word. But hey, I'll still ask if R. Kelly raped them.

Hope you know some of this so called teenagers know more about sexual matters than you'd think.

hmmm

AHCB:
molested? That's a strong word. But hey, I'll still ask if R. Kelly raped them.

Hope you know some of this so called teenagers know more about sexual matters than you'd think.

It's not about knowing more than we think.Were they underage?Yes

thorpido:
It's not about knowing more than we think.Were they underage?Yes

underage according to who or whom?

AHCB:
molested? That's a strong word. But hey, I'll still ask if R. Kelly raped them.

Hope you know some of this so called teenagers know more about sexual matters than you'd think.

You have adopted the thought process of every paedophile apologist in the world, as expected. Sometimes, it is advisable to hold an element of surprise. I could easily tell where you were going with this and it is truly sad that you can be so predictable.


Sadly, you will possibly end up being the father of a little girl some day, because of her exposure in a modern world, she will know a lot of sexual matters. Would you be pleased if an ADULT in your neighbourhood, who should KNOW BETTER takes advantage of the fact that your 13-year old daughter knows of sex, to have sex with her? These days, 8-year old girls know of sex, should 25-year old men sleep with 8-year olds because they KNOW OF sex?


Let me advise you now, no court of law will care if a child "knows of sex", that a child knows something, does not mean an adult should take advantage and act on them. There are millions of adult women you can have sex with, without tainting what is left of a child's innocence.


Do you think a 30-year old woman should be having sex with a 14-year old boy? What if R-Kelly had sex with 13-year old boys, would your opinion differ?

If kids and adults were held on the same level of accountability, then there would be no need for the law to keep kids under the care of an adult. The entire point of being an adult, is to be accountable, be RESPONSIBLE, not to blame a child for your own inability to do an ADULT thing.


PS: Yes, he RAPED them. Sex with a minor is classified as RAPE. Do you know why? Because Rape is defined as penetration WITHOUT Consent, and according to the law, a minor is INCAPABLE of providing CONSENT.

AHCB:
underage according to who or whom?

according to the law in America, the age of consent is 18.

You know, America, where someone like you would have lost his day job for asking these idiotic questions on social media, but thank your God that you live in a shithole like Nigeria..... I would advise you don't attempt to travel to any lawful country anytime soon

AHCB:
underage according to who or whom?

Many of them were 13,14 and 15.That's below the age of consent.