This is so not happening the way I thought it would. This is not going according to plan at all. I muttered to myself as I crossed the road to where my car was parked. This LASTMA official has the audacity to attach my car to a tow truck? I’m not even parked illegally.

“Hey mister, what do you think you’re doing?” I asked impatiently as soon as I got to him.

“Is this your car, madam?”

“No, it’s my grandma’s car.” I answered sarcastically. I’ve so not got time for this. I’m already too late for my meeting. I don’t need the hassle of an overzealous government official.

“Well, tell your grandma to come to our office to get her car.” He gave me as good as he got.

I sighed impatiently. “Oga, what do you want?”

“Madam, is this your car?” he asked again.

“Yes, it’s mine. Why is it attached to your truck?”

“You parked illegally. This is a no-parking zone.”

“No, it’s not.”

“Madam, please check the sign above you.” He gestured to a battered sign with barely recognizable letters.

The sign must have seen centuries of sun and rain on its sorry self; the paint job was so chipped and worn, the letter ‘N’ was completely faded and the ‘ING’ part of the ‘PARKING’ was folded in on itself. It was no surprise I didn’t catch it before parking my car. And here I thought I had been so careful.

I decided to try reasoning with him since I was at fault. “Bros, I didn’t see the sign o. This sign has seen better days now. I thought I parked in a good space.”

“Well, you didn’t. You were not supposed to park here and anything could have happened to your car. Who would you have complained to then?”

“I understand, but nothing happened. I’m here now, so you can leave the car.”

“It doesn’t work that way, madam. The car is attached to the truck already so you have to come to our office with me and pay the fine to get your car released to you.”

“Haba bros, let’s settle this here now. No need to get to your office.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t help you. My hands are tied. That’s the procedure.”

“No, I can’t accept that.” I disagreed. “This sign is barely recognizable. You can’t hold me responsible for the neglect of the government to repair signs and what-not. You have to help me; I’m late for an appointment as it is.”

He didn’t even act as if he heard me. He just walked away and went to the passenger side of the tow truck. It was then I noticed the other officer in the driver’s seat. I quickly approached him; maybe he can talk some sense into his colleague.

“Oga, abeg help me talk to your friend now. I’m ready to do whatever it takes to settle this here once and for all.” I appealed to the stone-faced man.

He didn’t even deign to answer me. He just pointed to his stone-faced twin seated beside him and kept mute.

The bane of my existence turned to me tight-lipped. “Madam, I already told you. Come get your car at the office.”

I accepted my fate meekly. It was that or I come to blows with them. It was just my luck that I happened to be dealing with the least corrupt officials in this frustrating city. “Can I at least have the address?”

That surprised him. “You won’t be coming with us?”

“No. I told you earlier, I am late for a very important appointment.”

“Suit yourself.” He reeled off an address and I quickly typed it on my phone.

“Can I have your number, please? In case I get lost; I’m not so familiar with this city.”

He grudgingly gave me his number too and I typed it gratefully. At least, he didn’t deny me that.

“Thank you.” I said.

“We’ll be expecting you.” He replied and they drove off.

I watched my car being pulled away helplessly. There was nothing to be done about that now. I checked my watch and grimaced. I was running behind and I didn’t even know where the meeting was to take place specifically; one of the hazards of moving into a new and strange city.

I’ll have to try my luck with a taxi. Luckily, one drove by and I quickly hailed it. He parked beside the curb and I jumped in.

“Where to, madam?” the driver asked.

“Number 9, SME Street, Ikeja.” I replied.

“Okay.” He smiled and turned back to the road.

“How many minutes is it going to take to get there?”

“About twenty minutes if there’s no traffic.” His spoken English was very fluent.

“Okay, thanks. I’ll pay you double if you can get me there in half that time.”

He grinned at me through the rearview mirror and stamped on the accelerator.

I watched the scenery out of my window as we drove through the city, thinking back on the circumstances that brought me to this impasse. I just moved to Lagos city about two weeks ago, seeking greener pastures and a fresh start. If anyone absolutely needs a fresh start in their life, it’s definitely me, Ella Bendel.

These past five years of my life have not been funny, and I wouldn’t wish my experience on anyone. My village people think I am a witch and my family thinks I’m possessed. All because I have had the audacity to be divorced twice.

Is it my fault that the two men I married didn’t live up to expectations? One of them was a boy really, and the other was a man, a tough guy. The boy was just an immature baby that I got married to too early and the tough guy was so tough he battered me at every opportunity he had. My mum had the temerity to tell me I deserved whatever I got.

My two marriages were not the best there was. The first happened too soon and too early and the other was everything I wanted, until it was not.

I met Bayo (the boy), on campus. I was eighteen years old, in my third year in the university. We met at a friend’s party one night and we hit it off immediately. By the time that night was over, it was as if we had known each other for many years.

Our relationship developed and grew from that point. I couldn’t wait to be with him, he was everything I wanted in a man; tall, dark, handsome, classy, dresses well, and fulfills all the criteria girls give for choosing a man. We got engaged in our final year, and immediately after graduation, we got married. I was barely twenty-one.

It was after marriage that I discovered my TDH man was just a baby. Of course, I had some glimpses when we were still dating, instances when he insisted I have to pay for dinner because I was the one who invited him, or that one time when he was undressing another babe with his eyes right in front of me, and he insisted he was just reading the inscription on her t-shirt.

He was so insecure and didn’t know one thing about managing a home and a wife. He held four jobs in the course of two years and lost them all. Then, the cheating and drinking started. The lies and never-ending apologies. The constant parade of women in and out of our house, of course they were all his co-workers. The many nights he came back home, drunk out of his mind.

It got to a head when I caught him in our bed with another woman. I wasn’t about to take that and I filed for divorce immediately. We were married for just two years and it was the longest years of my life.

Naturally, I gravitated towards a man that was the complete opposite of my ex-husband. I met Tony at a barbecue organized by my company. The company had just acquired a struggling telecommunications company. Ours was a well-established one so we bought the other company. The directors wanted a level ground and a non-threatening environment for the amalgamation of the two company’s personnel, hence the barbecue.

Tony was a manager at the company we acquired. He was confident to the point of being arrogant, totally on his game, had a career to be proud of, had short-term goals and non-term goals, was not very handsome but handsome doesn’t do it for me anymore at that point. I was looking for a down-to-earth kind of guy, someone I can fully rely on, and someone that I know has got my back. Tony fits that ..............

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EPISODE 2

The sudden jerk of the cab pulled me out of my reverie. I looked around and saw many high-rise buildings all around me. We must be in the commercial and industrial district.

“Are we there already?” I asked the taxi driver.

“Yes ma’am.” He pointed to a particularly intimidating structure. “That building over there is your destination.”

“Oh, thank you. How much do I owe you?”

“Just #1,500, madam.”

“Okay, here you go.” I handed him two thousand naira.

He got out the change and gave me before I got down from the taxi. I waved to him and set off for the building he indicated earlier.

As soon as I stepped into the reception, I was impressed by the ambience. It was very cozy, with cool air wafting through the AC vents, and a soft music playing in the background. The atmosphere was very welcoming and I loved it. Ideas exploded in my head, I was giddy with happiness at what I could do with all the space.

I introduced myself to the receptionist, and before I knew it, I was ushered into a very plush office. This must be the office of the head of this company, I thought. I was still admiring the room when the receptionist closed the door behind me.

The ‘office’ was as long as a hall and as wide. There was open space and glass windows all around. I got the impression that whoever owns this office loves his space. One end of the room was clearly meant for entertainment and that was where I was facing. There were about five ornate chairs arranged in a semi-circular position and there was a very beautiful center table in front of the chairs. I admired the paintings on the wall; a particular one caught my eye, it was the picture of a boat on a stream with nobody on it. I wondered what it meant to the person that uses this office.

“You’re late.” Came a clear, crisp voice from the end of the room.

I whirled around and saw a man seated behind the biggest desk I had ever seen. The desk almost spanned the width of the room. He barely had space to move out from behind it. He was not smiling and his desk was not inviting either. Why does he need a desk so big? I thought. This must be the man I was supposed to meet, Adelaide’s cousin.

“I’m so sorry. I ran into some difficulty while coming.”

“Save your excuses, lady. I don’t have time to wait indefinitely for an appointment that was supposed to start twenty minutes ago. I have too much to do.”

“I know and I’m sorry. My car was towed by an angry LASTMA official and I couldn’t change his mind. I had to get a taxi here. I’m so sorry for coming late.”

“Lady, save your platitudes. I would have cancelled the appointment but I’m going on with it because of the glowing recommendations my cousin gave you. Now, will you sit so we can get this thing started?”

I was fuming. How dare this arrogant man talk to me this way? I’m not anybody’s lackey. I’m a woman in my own right and I don’t appreciate his curt orders nor his offensive address. I sat on the oversized chair facing his desk with all the dignity I could muster.

“Well?” he asked, while I had barely sat down.

I opened my purse and withdrew the CV I prepared for this interview. “Here is a copy of my resume. You’ll find in there the jobs I’ve successfully done and the recommendations I got from said jobs.”

He didn’t even accept the document. He just stared at me. “Since you’ve wasted half the time allotted to this interview, you’ll have to impress me with your words. There’s no time to read that. And you have to be very persuasive; so far, I’ve seen nothing to impress me.”

I couldn’t take it anymore. “You have been insulting me since the moment I stepped into this room. If you can get off your high horse long enough to accept my apology and let me explain myself, we might start off on a better foot.” I snapped.

“Well, well, well. She’s got fire.”

I tightened my mouth to keep from talking anymore. I had gone and blown the chance I had with my big mouth.

“Point of correction though, I didn’t attack you the moment you got in; as you spent those few moments gawking at my office.”

I shrugged. “Impressive enough but in my opinion not a very good job.”

“Really?”

I looked at him suspiciously. Is this another trap so he can jump down my throat again? He seemed amused though, not angry. I decided to go ahead anyway.

“Yes, really.” I looked distastefully at the monstrous desk.

“What would you do differently?”

“Well, for starters, I’ll get rid of that monstrosity you call a desk.”

He gasped. “What? My desk? Do you know how much this desk costs? Besides, it’s a tactic designed to intimidate and command presence.”

“I figured. I don’t care how much it costs, it’s hideous and you don’t need it. You command enough presence as it is.”

I cringed as I realized what I just did. I just paid him a compliment. Darn! He was smiling; the arrogant bastard. I ignored his smile and kept glaring at him.

“Interesting. What else have you got? I’m listening.”

I stood up to better access the office. I’m in my element, confident in my skin and in my abilities. “I’ll get rid of this carpet and……”

“I love this carpet.”

“The color is too dull, I’m aiming for a lighter, brighter color.” I walked to where the table and chairs are set. “Then, I’ll re-arrange this whole space to look more inviting. This……”

“What’s wrong with that space as it is?”

“It’s too close, too clustered. And will you let me finish my thoughts before interrupting me again?”

He smiled impishly. “Go right ahead, ma’am.”

My back was turned from him so I was able to roll my eyes. Now I’m ma’am, no longer lady?

“Thank you, kind sir.” I smirked. “Some of these paintings have got to go, there are too many. Another tactic meant to intimidate?” I looked back at him.

“You got that right.”

I laughed. “You’ve got this intimidation thing right down to a science.”

“Is it working?” I was startled to hear his voice right behind me.

I turned to him. “Not really. Did you think it was?”

“I wouldn’t have minded.” He smiled.

I watched him suspiciously. I really like that smile, it transformed his whole

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EPISODE 3

I got home that night very tired though exhilarated. The day had been full of fights and victories, and I was so ready to crash in front of my TV and watch my favorite station; Telemundo. There’s something very relaxing and soothing about watching lovers fight and make-up in these TV dramas. I microwaved my dinner of fried potatoes and fish, grabbed a bottle of soda, and settled down to watch the show presently on. It was at that moment my phone rang.

“Girrrrrl, you were supposed to call me the moment the deal went through.” It was Adelaide, Daniel’s cousin on the line. “I just ended a call with my cousin and he was filled with nothing but praises for you.”

“Really?” Who would have thought?

“Really, girl. You must have done a hell of a job because my brother is not that easily impressed.”

“I guess.”

“Hmmm, that sounds cryptic. We have to get together for a drink.”

“Now? Tonight?” I groaned.

“Yes, tonight, girl. Don’t worry, I’m coming to pick you up. I won’t subject you to Lagos night traffic. Get dressed; I’m almost at your house.” She hung up.

I groaned once more and flopped on my chair. So much for a quiet night in with my Telemundo.

Thirty minutes later, I found myself seated in front of Adelaide. She ordered a glass of apple martini and I settled for club soda. I don’t drink, my years of experience with ‘the boy’, Bayo, had taught me what too much drink can do to the mind. I sipped my soda, while I listened to Adelaide tell me all her cousin said.

“When I asked DJ what he thought of your beauty, he said that was none of my business. Trust me that raised my antenna higher than if he had just told me he found you irresistible. He found you irresistible, didn’t he?”

“DJ?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

She laughed. “Just a nickname that stuck with him since we were kids. You can ask him about it sometime.”

“Well, he did ask me out to dinner tomorrow night.” I answered.

“Yes!” she punched the air. “I knew it. So, where are you guys going?”

“I’m not going out with your cousin, Adelaide.”

She reacted as if I just hit her. “Why not?”

“I don’t mix business with pleasure.”

“Oh, Ella! You’re too straight-laced for me. Why did you think I sent you to him in the first place?”

“Well, forgive me but I thought it was because of my very lovely work.” I answered, hurt.

“Of course, I love your work, Ella. My brother wouldn’t have given you the time of the day if he hadn’t seen some pictures of your works and loved it. But I was so hoping you guys will hit it off.”

“He saw some pictures?” The nerve of that man! And he was busy asking me all those questions.

“Yes, I sent him some.”

“Interesting.”

“Can’t you make an exception for my cousin? He’s very handsome, don’t you think?”

I smiled. “Yes, he’s alright. And if you dare tell him I said that, I’ll cut off your tongue.”

She laughed. “My lips are sealed. So?”

I knew what she was asking. “Adelaide, your cousin is cute but I don’t want to complicate things. My life is in order right now, and I’m not looking for any disruptions.”

“It’s cool. I hope you change your mind though.”

I smiled. “Thank you for looking out for me, babe.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” She gave me a high-five. “So, I got the impression that you had a harrowing day?”

“You have no idea.” I launched into just how harrowing the day was.

“By the time I was done checking all of your cousin’s offices and making a list of everything I’ll need, I was very exhausted. I had to rush down to the LASTMA Office though, because I had to get my car. Suffice to say, I finally got it out. I went home immediately and was about to settle down to my dinner when your call came in.” I gave her a nasty look.

She laughed. “Forgive me, darling. I just had to hear the full gist from you.”

“I’m glad I came out. It’s a nice end to a not-so-enjoyable day.”

“All is well that ends well.”

“That reminds me, I’m going to need the services of a trucking company. Do you happen to know any?”

“No, I don’t. But I can help you find out from someone.”

“Please do.”

“Will do.”

“By the way, I’ve not thanked you for hooking me up with your cousin for this job. It’s really a lifesaver.”

“It’s my pleasure, darling. I know you’ll do an awesome job.”

I winked. “You got that right. It’s going to take a lot though, your cousin’s office is very impressive.”

“You don’t know the half of it. The guy is loaded.”

“Really? How loaded?”

“I’m telling you. Like the caliber of Dangote and the rest.”

My eyes almost bulged out of my head. “Seriously”

She laughed. “Nah, I’m just kidding. He’s stinking rich though. I mean the guy can afford to buy an Aston Martin without batting an eye.”

“Hmmm. That’s really cool. I can’t imagine what it’ll feel like to have that kind of money.”

“Me neither.”

“What does he do anyway?”

“He’s into real estate. I mean the big guns; buying and selling of properties in Lekki, Banana Islands and so on. He’s not in the minor league.”

“Wow! I’m impressed.”

“I’m impressed too and he’s ‘only’ my cousin.”

I laughed. “Lucky you.”

“Would you like another glass?” she eyed my club soda.

I yawned. “No, girl. I’d rather just go home. I’m so tired.”

“I understand.” She signaled the waiter and paid for the drinks, and we walked out together.

By the time I got back home, I was so ragged that all I could do was crash into my bed. Before long, I was far in dreamland, having dinner with Daniel.

The following day started a lot better than the previous. I was able to get a lot of work done. I went to the ..................................

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EPISODE 4

That night, I dreamed of Daniel. In the dream, we were in a swanky restaurant, eating oysters and drinking chilled champagne from long stemmed flutes, with a violinist playing a rendition of Celine Dion’s ‘My heart will go on’. I thoroughly enjoyed myself in the dream.

It was when I woke up in the middle of the night that I realized I’ve got it bad for Daniel. The dream was the last nail in the coffin. After tossing and turning for another twenty minutes with more sleep nowhere on the horizon, I got up and wandered to the kitchen.

I got out a bottle of coke from the fridge, opened the cap and took a long, satisfying swallow. I really should give up this soda drink called Coca-Cola, but it’s oh, so addictive.

After that intake of caffeine, I knew I wasn’t going to sleep anymore, so instead of daydreaming about what I couldn’t have, I decided to get some work done. I switched on my laptop and started browsing for some lovely designs I could use on the job.

After about an hour, I had accumulated some I found promising and my eyes were starting to dim. It was a little after 5 a.m. and I could still catch some much needed sleep. I needed to be sharp and on point for the meeting I have with Daniel at 9 a.m.

I dragged myself to my bed and crawled under the covers. Few seconds later, I was out cold. Oh, blissful slumber!

I didn’t feel so blissful when I woke up three hours later. I checked my bedside clock and saw it was a good twenty minutes after eight. I jumped up as if someone lit a fire beneath me. No, no, no, this is not happening again, I groaned.

I ran into the bathroom, almost tore my nightie off me in my hurry, and hopped into the shower. It was the fastest bath of my life.

I quickly dressed up in a flowered free flowing gown, belted it at the waist to give it a bit of definition and style, and I put on a pair of black low-heeled sandals. By then, it was eight thirty. I grabbed my car keys, praying frantically that there won’t be any horrendous traffic to deal with on the way. I barely had enough time to get there as it is. And to say that I had planned this so well; oh, you know what they say about the best laid plans.

Exactly thirty minutes later, I pulled into the car park. I clutched my bag and the folder I needed for the meeting and got out of the car. The car park was some distance from the office complex, so I had to run the rest of the way. I was in great shape, I wasn’t breathing too hard when I got to the receptionist.

“Hi.” I breathed fast. “I’m here for a 9’0 clock meeting with Mr. Daniel Omalu.” I smiled.

The lady just stood there, staring at me with an incredulous look on her face, her mouth wide open. I wondered what her problem was. Was I speaking French?

“Miss Ella Bendel to see Mr. Daniel Omalu, please.” I repeated.

She finally closed her mouth and found her tongue. “Mad….am,” she stammered, “Your hair…your fa…ce…you look a fright.”

“What are you talking about?” I asked. I turned to the glassed wall and checked my reflection. It was then I noticed my hair and face. I had not remembered to apply any make-up on my face, but that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was I still had the hair cap I slept with snugly placed on my head. No make-up, no earrings, and a head full of uncombed hair. I stared at myself in horror. Oh, for the love of God!

Damage control was needed. “Do you have a comb, please?” I asked the receptionist.

She shook her head in the negative.

“No comb?”

“No.”

Powder?”

“No.”

Lip gloss?”

“No.”

“Nothing to salvage this?” I indicated the whole of my head.

“I’m sorry.” She said.

“It’s not your fault.” I answered her. “Oh well, I’ll just have to brave it.”

She looked at me with such pity, I almost laughed. I can’t wait to see the look on Daniel’s face. On the other hand, I’d rather be anywhere but here.

I faced the elevator as someone going to the gallows. I pushed the button and entered when it opened. I was the only one in and it felt as if I was facing the firing squad.

A sudden inspiration hit me. The cap I had on was silk, and very presentable, so I pulled it off, hand combed my hair till it cascaded down my back, and replaced the cap. I checked my reflection and saw it was better than before, the cap hid the worst of it. I pinched my cheeks to add some color to my make-up bereft face and licked my lips. By then, the elevator glided to a stop and I stepped out.

I so do not want to do this but I have to. I squared my shoulders and marched into the office with fake confidence. I adopted the saying; if you don’t have it, fake it.

Naturally, Daniel was waiting for me. I had wasted five minutes downstairs at the reception so I was about ten minutes late. At least it was better than the last time.

Daniel was engrossed behind his desk working on his computer. He looked up when his secretary announced me and frowned. At least he could have pretended not to notice.

“Thank you, Udi.” He said.

The secretary nodded and withdrew. She closed the door quietly behind her.

“Good morning, Daniel.” I said. “I’m sorry I’m a bit late, it was due to unavoidable circumstances.”

“An unavoidable circumstance like waking up on the wrong side of the bed?”

I looked down, and looked up; anywhere but at him. The scrape of his chair as he stood up caught my attention and I looked up. He came to stand directly before me. He had that cocky smile on his face again.

“Good morning, Ella. Or isn’t it a good morning for you?” his eyebrows rose. “You look like something the cat dragged in.”

“I didn’t have time to do my normal grooming.”

“I can see that. From the neck down is pretty good, but the other end is not as spick-span. Someone stole your make-up case and hair brush?”

“Ha ha ha, very funny.” I sniggered. “I was too much in a hurry, I forgot to do the necessary. I was here before I discovered it and your receptionist was no help in that regard.”

“Well, that is not part of her job description, is it?”

“I guess not.”

“Hmmm. Shall we get started?” he indicated the ornate chairs I so loved the last time. This time, there was a tea set on the table, and I saw a covered plate. Is there going to be some fine dining here?

I sat down, dropped the folder and bag I was still clutching, and tried to ..........


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