the top 15 reasons y beer is better than women

1. A beer doesn't get jealous when you grab another beer
2. When you go to a bar you know you can always pick up a beer
3. A beer won't get upset if you come home and have beer on your breath
4. You don't have to wine and dine a beer
5. If you pour a beer right you'll always get good head
6. Hangovers go away
7. When you're finished with a beer the bottle is still worth 5 cents
8. You don't have to wash a beer before it tastes good
9. A beer always goes down easy
10. You can share a beer with your friends
11. Beer is always wet
12. You always know you are the first one to pop a beer
13. A frigid beer is a good beer
14. You can have more than one beer and not feel guilty
15. You can enjoy a beer all month long

The Complete Women's English


Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you slowpoke!
You're , so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper,
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going
to like.
I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he
goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

What is the difference of a woman between 8, 18, 28, 38 and 48 years?

08 years - You take her to bed and tell her a story
18 years- You tell her a story and take her to bed
28 years- You don't need to tell her a story, just take her to bed
38 years- She tells you a story and takes you to bed
48 years- You tell her a story to avoid going to bed,

Facts About Women

Women love to shop.  It is the one area of the world where they feel
like they're actually in control.

Women especially love a buy.  The question of "need" is
irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out.

Women never have anything to wear.  Don't question the racks of
clothes in the closet; you "just don't understand".
Women need to cry.  And they won't do it alone unless they know you
can hear them.
Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an
effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
>Women love to talk.  Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to
fill it, even if they have nothing to say.

> Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.
That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
> Women don't need sex as often as men do.  This is because sex is more
physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man
> wants to have intimacy with them fulfils the emotional need.

>  Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when
> there's a spider or a wasp involved.

>  Women can't keep secrets.  They eat away at them from the inside. And
>they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two
or
> three people.

Women always go to public restrooms in groups.  It gives them a
chance
to gossip.
>
> Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's
> doing. It might be the lottery calling.
>

> Women think all beer is the same.
>
> Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in
> the shower.  After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a
> tropical
> rain forest.
>
> Women don't understand the appeal of sports.  Men seek entertainment
> that allows them to escape reality.  Women seek entertainment that
reminds
> them of how horrible things could be.
>
> If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of
> clothes
> and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip> she'll
pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what
> she'll feel like wearing each day.

>
> Women are never wrong. Apologising is the man's responsibility, "It's
> there in the Bible".  Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
>
>  Women do not know anything about cars.  "Oil- stick, oil doesn't
> stick?"


>
Women love to talk on the phone.  A woman can visit her girlfriend
for
> two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and
they
> will talk for three hours.
>
>  A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
> garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
>
>  Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of
> getting lost using a shortcut.
>
>  Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall
> asleep afterwards.
>
>  Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
>
> PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter.  (Or at least men think it
> means that).  PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My
> Spouse.

>
>  Women are insecure about their weight, b.utt, and bre.ast sizes.
>
>  Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand
> turn.
>
>  "Oh, nothing," has an entirely different meaning in woman-language
> than
> it does in man- language.
>
>
>
> All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about
> it.
> Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they
> really have 5 pounds to gain.
>
>If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you
> can
> probably start up a conversation by asking, "What did you do?"
>

>
>
Women don't really care about a sense of humour in a guy despite
> claims
> to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Brad Pitt to get to
> Basketmouth, do you?
>
>  Women fake o.r.g.a.s.m.s. because men fake pre-intimacy.
>
>  It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay, You
don't
> see straight men dancing together.
>
>  Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out
> and spend more time checking out other women.  Men can never catch women
> checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other
> women.
>

>