An average african man's thought of marriage is making babies which IMO is wrong. Babies come as part of the marriage.

IMO Marriage is about the couples, rather what we see in africa is the couples rush quickly to make babies, some even want babies before registering in for the marriage which isn't the idea of marriage. In our african tradition 9 months after marriage without a baby or a bulging belle is seen that there's a problem with conceiving. One question is ask is why the rush? There are some reasons behind it which are: late age of marriage, parents pressure for grandchildren, neighbourhood thought etc.

For me atleast give yourselves two at least one year to flex yourselves, enjoy your marriage before distractions starts coming i.e babies starts coming. For me they come with marriage and not the main reason for marriage.

Your opinions are welcome, what are your thoughts?

Many babies are born BEFORE MARRIAGE so obviously marriage isn't about making babies,

Many time in the old tradition, marriage were honor so the men can have CONTROL over the wives, IF THE WOMAN WASN'T HIS WIFE, he couldn't dictate elsewise, THAT WAS THE OLD TRADITION WAY,

Some people still living in the old traditional way and some living conventional way, SO IT DEPEND ON WHAT TYPE OF MARRIAGE YOU HAVE, most OLD TRADITIONAL MARRIAGES, BABIES ARE BORN AFTER THE MARRIAGE AND NOT BEFORE, whereas conventional marriages usually babies are born BEFORE THE MARRIAGE.

IMHO, babies are positive additions to a marriage, one should get married for companionship, "i need you, you need me" topped with love and a good dose of great sex, kids are always welcome BUT its not the reason for the union.

Hmm mmmm @ good sex,


(shaking and twitching)

In Africa, a marriage without children is considered a failure so most couples are eager to settle the issue of children early to avoid all the wahala associated with childlessness in marriage.
Personally, I don't intend to wait but having children is the main reason for marriage. My main reason will be companionship and building a future together but having children makes the marriage more acceptable in our African society.

Nautillus:

IMHO, babies are positive additions to a marriage, one should get married for companionship, "i need you, you need me" topped with love and a good dose of great sex, kids are always welcome BUT its not the reason for the union.

thats what i mean there. Allow yourselves to enjoy all the good love and great great sex without disturbance.

queeneve:

Hmm mmmm @ good sex,


(shaking and twitching)

ofcourse, NO DULLING. No room for dull moments.[b][/b]

Nautillus:

IMHO, babies are positive additions to a marriage, one should get married for companionship, "i need you, you need me" topped with love and a good dose of great sex, kids are always welcome BUT its not the reason for the union.

Say it again.

Don't forget GOOD SEX!!!

QUeenEve, madam, can we Nyansh and then couples and make babies?

marriage is strictly about babies! procreation! a generation after yours!!
if it is for companion, then no need for marriage as boyfriend-girlfriend is already a companion.

lol! marriage is 4 both companionship and procreation~

we are all product of marriage, pls the institution should be upheld always

chiozor:

marriage is strictly about babies! procreation! a generation after yours!!
if it is for companion, then no need for marriage as boyfriend-girlfriend is already a companion.

how much companionship does boyfriend-girlfriend provide.

omolola1.:

lol! marriage is 4 both companionship and procreation~

sort of.

not sort of, yes!

omolola1.:

not sort of, yes!

sort of 'cos we all have individual reasons for going into marriage.
Bear in mind that some make children without marrying, while some want it for just companionship though some reasons could neither be children or companionship.

hmmn! you're kinda right~

first of all, intention of getting married is to get children. after children, other things can follow. marriage with no children, i would rather prefer having a girlfriend than having a wife.

My reason for getting married is to start making babies.
We were together for a while so i have had considerable amounts of companionship.
Now it is time for the great sex and making of babies.

190, :

marriage is for both ooh

for both~

I totally agree.  

Some couples would prefer to wait a couple of years b4 the kids start coming, so long it's what both parties want.   There is a huge amount of pressure in our culture to start churning out the kiddies as soon as the ring goes on the finger.

After marriage, honeymoon usually follows. It is safe to say that the activities that go on during the honeymoon are responsible for the baby coming after 9 months of marriage. And i don't think couples marry so that they can have babies, for you need not get married in order to make babies. All you have to do is ski ski ski in that thing.

marriage is not for babies making but for love but children spices the home and as u enjoy ur self in marriage don't forget that the result is kids

Marriage is a sweetest thing in the life of any man or woman. but less sweet when you are not bless with babies. i see it as a reason why some couples dont waste time they belleful their wife in order to knw wat is gonna happen next. at times it may be the babie that will bless the couple favourably. it happened lyk dat in many occasion men.[center][/center]

In as much as I believe that couples should plan their lives, we must remember that we are not oyinbos that sometimes decide to marry without kids. In Africa, Children are very important to any marriage, you can know this by some of our proverbs that connotes the importance of children in a family.

So please let no one come here to undermine the importance of kids in the house, for the couples that are still trusting God to have kids, I pray that your desires will come to pass.

The truth be told, marriage can be boring without kids at some point!

Nautillus:

IMHO, babies are positive additions to a marriage, one should get married for companionship, "i need you, you need me" topped with love and a good dose of great sex, kids are always welcome BUT its not the reason for the union.

seconded!

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Genesis 1:28

[b]For Those who dont agre[/b]e : Its God's blessing and if you dont want them too bad.

I think that the need for marriage is 1. for companionship 2. to avoid fornication 3. Procreation, If you don't need children yet while go into marriage, after all enough guys de to warm you out. if you must marry then be prepare to start making children’s because when you start in time you finish in time and start love afresh because there a saying that goes ' love starts at 50,
as for me na every day nak nak no stopping,

@Poster please do not spread useless western values that are currently ruining their societies, this is the reason why they have population issues and cannot even define what marriage is and what it isn't.

Tommorrow you may soon ask if the extended family is useful at all or just a useless burden.

If marriage is just about companionship or even if companionship is the first consideration, then no one should point fingers at gay people who seek to christian their associations as marriage.

Any body can find companionship with any other person, even humans and animals could be companions. Marriage is primely about procreation. I can only add that we often find companionship in marriage or that marriage is best when it is generated from mutually desired companionship (or what we call love).

Is love a must for marriage: NO, but love makes marriage heaven on earth so should be desired.

unclebros:

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground." Genesis 1:28

[b]For Those who dont agre[/b]e : Its God's blessing and if you dont want them too bad.

Yes, but it suppose 2 be after marriage (Some ladd's after traditional marraaiage, they wll rush down 2 d husband house without remembering the Christian weeding which is also bad)

Well, I see a marriage between a man and a woman as an official statement of love and the will to build a family together for as long as possible (hopefully for me, life-long). A family does not necessarily mean having babies IMHO. And it definitely won't be the ONLY reason I would put a ring on my soulmate's finger. But that's the meaning I would want to give it when I get there.

That said, marriage isn't something you want to rush into. .