Many young women who have been raped by guys are often ashamed to report them, because of the stigma they are afraid will worsen their trauma.

See the following report.

Rape, trends and the Nigerian law8 Feb 2009 , Rape is a common sordid phenomenon in Nigeria, and some observers have blamed laws, societal attitude which tend to heap blames on victims ,
thenationonlineng.net/web2/, /Rape, Nigerian, /Page1.html -

true, but not all

R.ape in general is under reported. Its a global issue. I had a very close friend who was r.aped by a group of boys she used to go to school with and she never told anyone until she met me, but by this time she was already 18yrs old. It pissed the hell out of me when people blame the victim. No one ever asks to be r.aped.

I BET you very soon a poster will abuse you for being raped. You were actually the one and just claiming it was a friend.
Then before you know it someone might comment that you wanted it and just claimed to be raped.

mutter:

I BET you very soon a poster will abuse you for being despoiled. You were actually the one and just claiming it was a friend.
Then before you know it someone might comment that you wanted it and just claimed to be despoiled.

I hope its not me that you're referring to in that comment?

yes it is.
No offence meant.
What I am basically trying to say is that most victims do not report rape because they end up being offenders instead of victims.
In many cases no one believes it is rape in the first place and they are put under such humiliating questioning.
The offenders try everything to discredit their character and draw them in the mud.
Apart from that they get stigmatized and ridiculed.
Following some of the comments in some threads here I almost fear that the same might happen to you if care is not taken.
I cannot blame any woman for keeping this incidence to herself and opting to suffer in silence.
It is not a show of weakness but a reflection of just how unsympathetic and callously society goes about dealing with such crimes.

As a repected black brother that does not fear the truth, rape is a shameful act and should be discourged, but some black sister encourage it by the way they dress and locations they visit.

I just wonder why you are almost panicking at being tagged as a rape victim.
Anyway I have not followed your post nor do I have any knowledge of your sexual life.
Even a rape victim should be entitled to live a life still standing proud and tall.
Why bother helping victims of rape, when you have an attitude towards rape.
I mean almost panicking.
This disqualifies you mentally for such a function

mutter:

I just wonder why you are almost panicking at being tagged as a despoil victim.
Anyway I have not followed your post nor do I have any knowledge of your sexual life.
Even a despoil victim should be entitled to live a life still standing proud and tall.
Why bother helping victims of despoil, when you have an attitude towards despoil.
I mean almost panicking.
This disqualifies you mentally for such a function

I wasn't panicking but I don't appreciate being labeled at a victim if I am not one. Like I said previously, if I was a r.ape victim I wouldn't be afraid to say so. What have a problem with is you saying that you think that I was a r.ape victim in the forum. Had what you said been true, it would be a private matter and you mentioning it on a forum is inappropriate. That's not the sort of thing that you should mention publicly. And no, it doesn't qualify me mentally for an function.

Why is "r.ape" a censored word on Nairaland to begin with?. . .like its something not to be talked about?. . . .and then we expect r'ape victims to be more open?

Its because Seun likes to be the verbal police.

inky I did not say I suspected you were a rape victim,.
I only said that some people might think you were one.
The replies I see on most topics here (not your topics) suggest as much.
Anyway I strongly believe that more than 70% of Nigerian women have been raped at least once in thheir life.

for a lady to be dressed so indescently exposing her sensitive sexy structures and not expect to be r.aped or get sexually harrassed is like keeping an uncoated iron out on the rain and not expect it rust.lol

Rape would be taken seriously if the law protected the victims. . . . . . . a friend of mine took the offenders to court but ended up being treated like a prostitute because the guy said the agreement was to pay her R500 and she pressed charges against him when he refused to pay so this was the line of questioning my friend went through with no one but a bunch of men around her (closed court), some even laughing during her testimony. The rapist never even took the stand, friend walked out and the guy was released after being in jail for 6 months!

The law rarely looks after the victims and the abusers know this! Very sad indeed!

Kinezeala:

for a lady to be dressed so indescently exposing her sensitive sexy structures and not expect to be r.aped or get sexually harrassed is like keeping an uncoated iron out on the rain and not expect it rust.lol

And rape will never end with men like you around, wish you and your friend MOBO would hold hands and jump off a cliff!

When you guys walk around shirtless, are we supposed to jump at you?

IGNORANCE is no bliss at all!

SA Goddess:

And despoil will never end with men like you around, wish you and your friend MOBO would hold hands and jump off a cliff!

When you guys walk around shirtless, are we supposed to jump at you?

IGNORANCE is no bliss at all!

Don't mind his stupidity. And to think people get upset when a woman openly says that African society is sexist.

mutter:

inky I did not say I suspected you were a despoil victim,.
I only said that some people might think you were one.
The replies I see on most topics here (not your topics) suggest as much.
Anyway I strongly believe that more than 70% of Nigerian women have been despoiled at least once in thheir life.

is that true? or is it an assumption cos that's quite high.

anyway, r.ape is not just good (morally, biblically, whatever way we are looking at it) and anyone who indulges in such an act is definately not in a good frame of mind. such people (if caught) should be sent to rehab

that is true dear.

mutter:

inky I did not say I suspected you were a despoil victim,.
I only said that some people might think you were one.
The replies I see on most topics here (not your topics) suggest as much.
Anyway I strongly believe that more than 70% of Nigerian women have been despoiled at least once in thheir life.

Have you got any Evidence to support your claim?

despoil generally goes unreported in nigeria.

**i wish a more serious person had started this thread but oh well**

chic2pimp:

Have you got any Evidence to support your claim?

it will be hard to support because of the shame and stigma attached to despoil. hence many women and girls very reluctance to report

and also we dont have a database of criminal statistics to at least record the incidence of those who had the courage and gut to report it.

although the number quoted seem very high, which i have doubts about. however, i think that many women/girls have at least experience some sort of sexual harassment in their life in naija if not from grumpy old azzholes, preying on young girls, it will be some idiotas who feel entitled to womans body because he has a thirdleg

One of my ex girlfriends told me she was dis virgined when she was r.aped in her secondary school days back in calabar. She told her mother who said that she should not talk about such things. She told me the boy who did it has done it to at least 4 other girls in the same school. My heart go's out to all rape victims and those who say that they cause it themselves by the way they dress are FOOLS!

hmm tough one there . . . i know how much r.ape can destroy a life. Any r.apist caught does not deserve to live period.

manmustwac:

One of my ex girlfriends told me she was dis virgined when she was r.aped in her secondary school days back in calabar. She told her mother who said that she should not talk about such things. She told me the boy who did it has done it to at least 4 other girls in the same school. My heart go's out to all despoil victims and those who say that they cause it themselves by the way they dress are FOOLS!

thank you. at least u r in the minority of men who clearly understand this