*record scratch* freeze frame �* Now you probably wondering how I got here. That’s me, getting read a bedtime story on the beach. I wasn’t always the center of embarrassment like this. Believe it or not I was one of the coldest niggas in the city. That’s until #Springbreak2019 of course. It all started with me and my mans Dub(black shades with the towel around his neck) and Ant(The short nigga right behind me to the right of the screen) decided to step down on the first bad bitch we seen. You know I had to be the first to spot the baddest bitch on the beach! Baby was built like a Tunka Truck! Ass was built for destruction� and construction � � with a face that can turn anybody’s frown upside down���! I walk up to her like, “How you doing beautiful? Why you standing here so lonely?” She immediately, “uhh I’m not lonely my man right there talking to his friends..thanks for your concern”. She points at the only one in the crowd who could’ve voted for Trump! � I just knew she wasn’t talking about this TANNER MCDOOGLESONBERG looking ass mf! I’m like, “The white boy??� nah you single if you talking about him!” He must’ve seen me talking my shit to baby while I had my back turned, because before I could get my name out and introduce myself properly, I hear, “Yo she good lil bruh!” Dude voice sounded like, he was n African prince �� deep as Bleep like he was my big brother for real, and mentor the local black youth down at the Rec or some shit! I ignored it, because whoever this nigga talking to...IT WASN’T ME! FOH! Imma be good after I get this mermaid on the beach number�!! He realized I wasn’t hearing it and gripped my shoulder strong af! This had to be his jackoff arm ��whole arm almost came off like, “Lil bro no disrespect, this my girl..”. I turn around and it’s fuckin Tanner!! I was sure this was the voice of a Marcus or Tyrone behind me trying to disturb my love connection! I had to gather some bass in my voice cus my arm was kinda hurting a lil bit! I look around and see my mans Dub and Ant ready like my own secret service, so immediately I’m on some real disrespectful shit, cus 1. He a white boy and she needs a black king 2. He just disrespected me by how he grabbed my shoulder. I’m like, “boy don’t you ever touch me like that again, Bleep wrong with you boy! You left yo bitch unattended, so I gave her some attention!” Dub smiled � my nigga was proud of me. He always said “nigga you ain’t on that shit I’m on. I’ll slide a nigga real quick” at just about every function we’ve attended since we were 9 years old. Ant must’ve knew white boys body language or something, because when Tanner started turning red he faded back in the crowd like he knew something I didn’t know(scary ass jit). Dub must’ve knew it too. Everybody knew something, BUT ME! I took one glance around and seen everybody gathering around like we were finna have a meeting to help us all gain. These ppl thought I was trying to fight! At this point I’m too deep in and I can’t bitch up now! Tanner like, “Bro it don’t even gotta go this way, but it can!” Dub pulled his pants up, because that’s all he needed to hear. My nigga was finna sneak bitch ass boy so decent and I knew it! I immediately, “pussy ass cracka I’ll....” before I can finish I seen the white hand from all those white Jesus paintings shoot straight at me like lightening ⚡️��! Dub wasn’t quick enough �You can see he was just about to slide Marcus ass Before he caught me! (This white boy with this African prince deep ass voice name really was Marcus smh!) This white boy, I mean Marcus knocked all of the respect in the world for all types of love into my ass in front of everybody!!! I have never ever ever been hit like how this mf hit me that day! His girl was like, “Oh my God Marcus stop!! Don’t stump him baby you won!” Marcus was about to stump me too� tf!!?? I’m so grateful cus all I remember is passing out in sand! But anyways, Bleep all that dumb shit y’all be talking about. Interracia

Serves my guy right.