RANDOM VOICES
Collection of short stories

The Green Bottle
‘’All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.’’-Gilbert Seldes

Fate as they say is inevitable. That is- what would be – will be, come whatever may. Fate, the three friends agreed, had pushed them to see the mysterious content inside the green beer bottle that very day.
This is the story of three determined young men who believed that the best could be milked out of every given opportunity. They were determined and ambitious. Street wise, social and broke. Meet them any day, anytime and anywhere, their ambitions is either to travel out to Jans, a coined name for abroad or stay back in Naija their home country; in a comfortable house , with a beautiful wife and some of the latest posh cars in town. Just two things seem to be holding them back from realizing their daily visualized reveries. The first most important thing was money; something that was still eluding the three of them and the second obstacle, though a must, if they want to be part of a future country, where education was now daily turning into a privilege for only the rich and mighty in the society. Schooling was the must and the second most important thing holding them back from achieving their dreams.
Their parents had always drummed it into their ears.” You must go to school, if you ever want to be somebody in this country” this was the golden advice daily preached to them at home. Though on this particular day, just like any other evening, which was rear, they had gone out for just one one (A bottle of beer each) and few stick of shared cigarettes between the two smokers among them. And maybe one or two extra bottles from a familiar face or from a generous drunk, accompany with extra charitable different brand of cigarettes. They love socializing, believing that socializing with others from different backgrounds add value to their education and broaden the act of living with different brains and minds anywhere they might eventually found themselves in the world. This was part of their many believes in life. They all drink; an act frowned upon by their parents. But they were young men and one or two escapades, won’t hurt anybody as long as they do their things silently in the right way. The three friends had long agreed. And where better to do their ‘things’, if not in a bar far away from home and away from gossipers and other curious onlookers and foes around.

“Wait!’’ Slim – so called because of his slim long frame, shouted to the amazement of his two friends, who both suddenly stared frightfully at the green bottle in front of them. The young barman who had wanted to open the beer also paused and stared confusingly at the bottle of beer.
“What! – na wetin?” Kato the fattest among the three shouted jumping from his seat.
Luckily the bar this evening was not as crowded as other evenings. Few customers lingered around some of the tables, faraway from the drama going on among the three friends and the bar man. This was actually supposed to be their first one- one , the bill already taken care of by a familiar face who was generous enough to have included a half pack of Benson and Hedges. And playing from the background was the mind inspiring song coming in from the cold, by the Jamaican legend Bob Nester Marley.
“Don’t open that bottle” Slim shouted again and grabbed the particular green bottle and held it up.
The three other men stared amazingly at the bottle and then stupidly at Slim, who was now grinning and staring thoughtfully at the odd looking content inside the beer bottle.
“ e be like say you guys never ready- well me I dey on my way” Danjay the darker of the three friends , announced in pidgin, lifting one of the bottle and taking a long satisfactory sip. Kato soon followed suit.
“How far make I open or not?” Tax the barman, asked unable to hold back his patience.
“Go your own Tax, leave am- maybe the one- one don dey work for him body. No worry I go call you when I finish dis one” Kato said and made to pull the controversial bottle. But Slim`s reflexes was faster and quicker.
“Cool Down- you mean you guys can’t still see what I am seeing?” Slim asked, pulling the bottle away from Kato.” Okay all of you – come closer and shine your eyes proper. Come closer and take a careful look- I am serious.”



Danjay bend down and make to pick a stick of cigarette from the table then suddenly paused, and stared completely in awe at the green bottle.
“Come o – wetin I dey see so. There is something inside this bottle.” He finally announced his hand pausing inches away from the pack of cigarette.
Kato and Tax now looking more confused bend down and also take a closer look at the bottle. And there it was – a strange growing Fungi right inside the cocked green bottle of beer. They all stared bewilderedly at the bottle. Kato lifted it and confirmed that the bottle was actually still sealed from the factory. He turned it up, side and down, to make sure it was not licking. He scanned the bottom to see if there was any trick from somewhere. Nothing – but there it was – a dirty looking substance, a fungi to be precise. He concluded, now also thinking thoughtfully.
“ Are you guys now satisfied” Slim asked, lighting up a stick of cigarette , his eyes fixed on the bottle thoughtfully.
“But how come?” Tax asked, lifted the bottle and also scrutinized it carefully. Satisfied there was no leakage, he makes to return the bottle to the bar
“Come – where are you going?” Slim almost shouted at the confused looking Tax who paused half way. “Wait let me show you something” Slim continued and snatched the bottle away from him.
“What! - I want to replace another one for you”. Tax told him
“Don’t worry- I will pay you for this one” Slim answered quickly extracting some naira notes from his wallet. “Take I will bring back your bottle later. Right now I am taking this one home - take away.” He smiled, and retained his excited look.
“But you know- that is impossible, unless you deposit for the bottle” Tax replied, wondering at the odd request.
“What is impossible? Please, I don’t like that word impossible. Everything is possible…okay, here take for the drink.” Slim said and handed him the exact amount for the drink.
“What about the deposit?” A suspicious Tax asked, collected the bill and stared thoughtfully at it.
“Don’t worry I’ll settle you proper when the deal succeeds. And believe me, it’ll succeed” Slim said proudly and returned to his seat.
Kato and Danjay, stared thoughtfully at him their minds already deliberating on the deal. They both suddenly wore a wide grin, visualizing an already emerging opportunity.
“Deal – what deal? “A confused looking Tax asked his lean face screwed up in a frown.
“Relax Tax – wetin be your problem. Is this the best way to threat old customers like us? Don’t worry we go settle you the deposit before we go.” Kato assured a bewildered Tax who stared thoughtfully at the bottle, then grumbled away to attend to other customers.





TWO
The Three friends sat scattered across the room. Sitting anxiously with them were two other invited young men of their age. Also resting comfortably on a stool, in the middle of the room, was the main subject of this august gathering – The green bottle.
A visitor entering the room would have had the impression that the five young men were having a lecture rehearsal. A curious detective on the other hand might have accused them of planning something dangerous against the unsuspecting public. While if they were to be in the military, someone, maybe a fellow es pirit de cop, would have reported them to the relevant high command, for suspicious that they were planning a coup.
But to the trio, what they were planning and trying to conscript their two new friends into was far better than any coup or public disturbance, and very crucial to them.
They had been able to convince the grumbling Tax to allow them take the bottle home without depositing a kobo. Slim and Danjay had actually sweet mouthed the reluctant Tax into their proposed plan. He had listened attentively, then easily succumbed and agreed to contribute to the success of what he had quickly seen as an opportunity and a possible break through. And his contribution they had told him was just to allow them go away with the bottle since the truth was that they had no extra money to deposit for the bottle.
“ Don’t worry Tax- you no trust us, wetin go commot na big money, big break my brother ,just imagine am” Slim had told him boastfully as they all stood up to leave with the green bottle safely concealed inside Kato`s trouser, and they had all spirited to his house.
Presently, they were all still seated inside Kato`s scanty room, with the excited Kato playing the happy host ,the sweet talking Slim the planner and Danjay acted as the mobilize, while the two new entrant the chain smoking Baba and a shrewd looking Chuks, all listened attentively to Slim and his plans.
“Gentlemen, like we have always said- never close your eyes to an opportunity. Always ensure to milk the best out of it”. Slim reminded them with his wide grin.
Baba a cigarette dangling from his tobacco stained teeth, nodded, his eyes constantly stealing glances at the green bottle on the stool.
“Fate has pushed us a solid opportunity today. One opportunity we all never expected and we should not close our eyes and allow this big opportunity to slip through our fingers, without milking the very best out of it”. Slim continued, his eyes looking towards Danjay for approval, which he got through a short sharp nod of the head from the grinning mobilizer.
“ We decided to invite the both of you to be part of this big break, because we see all of us as age mates and friends in progress, in hope that we can all come together and contribute to the success of this positive plans of ours”. Slim continued in his confident tone and excited look.
“Come Slim why don’t you come out straight to the point. What exactly do you want us to do? Agreed we have all seen the bottle and the dirty content inside it, then what?” An impatient Chuks asked, lighting a cigarette.

“Yes, hit the nail Slim. Tell them the plans and what we expect from them. – simple” Kato chipped in. They all suddenly heard foot steps by the door and Kato quickly scoped up the bottle from the stool and hurriedly hide it away under the bed.
“Your food is ready” Kato heard his younger sister announced, half peeping inside the room from the door way. “Should I bring it now?” She asked, her eyes scanning the room and coming to rest with her brother and his four friends. She sensed something was amused, but as usual she could not place what they were planning. She stared inquisitively at them for confirmations, but they all stared back blankly at her.
‘Thank you, I will send for it when we are ready” Kato finally told her, loosing interest in her curious stares. She stared thoughtfully at them once more, and then quietly sauntered away.
“Yes where were we?” Kato asked pulling out the bottle and placing it once more on the stool.
“Make Slim come straight to the point. Wetin be the plan?” Chuks complained switching back to pidgin.
“ Yes, Slim make you break the thing down for dem. Make we know where we stand” Kato supported , his eyes on Slim who was trying to collect the half smoked cigarette `fifty` as they call it in their parlance.
“Yes – in straight simple English, no be all those big – big grammar wey you dey speak. Just tell us wetin be the plan?” Baba interjected also showing his impatience.
Slim stared thoughtfully at all of them a wide grin greasing his face. He stared at the bottle and then pushed himself up.
“Make una take am easy…cool down…Na small – small. I just want make una understand the plan very well, bicos dis one na mother of all opportunity for us to break through’. He calmly told them dragging the last drag on the cigarette.
‘ We don already get the plan and see the opportunity, na Chuks and Baba you suppose explain to in details, just tell dem the plan. I sure say dem go dey interested, if dem hear the full jist”. Danjay advised speaking for the first time.
“Come una just dey shout say make I talk the plan. No be say to spin am out na him be the problem, but how serious Baba and Chucks go take am na him dey worry me”. Slim complained, he hid a grin and stole glances at Baba and Chucks who now wore frowns on their faces.
“Just tell us wetin be the plan – simple “They both busted out.
“Okay –easy – dis na the plan” Slim said and returned to his seat and for the next few minutes the young men listened attentively to the planner and his plans, the mobilizer gave out his full support, and the financials listened and got fascinated and hooked to the plan. They quickly promised to assist and support the opportunity to it end, then the host provided food and cigarettes to step down and finally the crucial meeting came to an end, after much brain storming.



THREE
Two of the five friends sat right opposite each other inside the same coach of a faded Express train the next day, on their way to keep to their fate. Though they sat facing each other, but each was deeply lost in his own thoughts and worries.
They had been traveling on the fast moving train for more than six hours and the day was now wearing a dark look, with almost all the passengers already fast asleep, dozing off or snoring away, unable to resist nature, despite their fears of the notorious train thieves.
Slim adjusted his slender frame and stole a glance at Danjay who was already in the league of those fast asleep. Resting on his lap was his unfinished Hadley Chase novel ‘Want to Stay Alive’.
Finally they were on their way to confront an opportunity and redeemed their destiny. Slim thought silently his mind tormented with worries, excitement and the fear of the unknown. Good they were on their way to the brewery, to go see the manufacturer and management of the green bottle and its mysterious content. But what would happen? He tried to visualize the scenario and the dialogue that might likely take place between them and a suspicious and shrewd management. God, let this plan work. He prayed silently, his eyes staring blankly at the dark night.
He, like his friends, was fed up with the poor education environment in the country. God! What is going on? What is happening to education in this country? He asked himself. What are the unsolvable problems bedeviling our hitherto vibrant educational sector, where some of the best brains in this world originated from? He almost shouted out angrily, but restrains himself on time before waking the tired sleeping passengers. How could those in charge of our primary, secondary and higher institutions have closed their eyes and reasoning to the realities on ground in almost all part of the country? The pathetic situation was how young innocent primary school pupils were forced to learn from bare floor of classrooms and other dilapidated structures. A scene visible in some of the secondary and higher schools across the country, with windows and verandahs converted into seats.
The hostels and other student abodes are a sorry sight for any thoughtfully knowledge seeking human being. Who won’t be, when the sights of young brilliant inspiring students are cramped into a room, with six to eight boarders sharing what the authority called a bed space? yet the school, their parents, guardians, and friends all eager to see them pass out in good colours.
Thank God, they had wisely parked out of that frustrated environment. Why continue to stay on campus, when eating a plate of meal was now becoming something impossible. Why force yourself to live inside the campus, when reading during the night or pro to examination period is always frustrating, no thanks to the poor epileptic power supply and constant break down of the old generating set or the constant excuse of lack of diesel.
He wondered why his country leaders, who during their time had a free and comfortable environment, could now greedily decide to now turned blind eyes to the sorry state of their learning environment. It amazed him why millions, trillions and billions of Naira should be wasted on white elephant projects and other unrealistic imported policies.

God, why can’t those saddled with the responsibility of ruling this rich country, invest selflessly on education and make our schools the brain castles and pride of any nation. A pride and hope for his generation and the future generations. What is hindering the reality of a free education for all in all level of their schools? Why is it becoming impossible for the ordinary citizens to be awarded scholarships or grants to school abroad and exchange ideas with other brains from other part of the world, just like it was done in those days? Instead, all their applications for scholarship had been ignored, with only whispers of the purported Nigerian syndrome always coming to play. What family are you from? What is your surname? Who was your father or mother? And so on. Bullshit! He grumbled out. Thank God, they were about to round up their three year frustrating diploma programmes. Three years of hard struggling and striving. He thought his mind trying not to remember all those hard days they had all tried to stay focus in class amidst hunger and cheap oppression by those fortunate enough to have all the good things in school.
Well, they have all made up their individual minds. They will ‘check out’ of the country immediately after their papers. Yes, the three of them. All they just needed right now was for this vital plan to work. He concluded happily as the train speed through the dark cold night. He stared thoughtfully at the sleeping figure of the snoring Danjay , grinned and also closed his eyes and unconsciously gave himself up to the irresistible hands of sleep.







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