Funloving, by virtue of your privileged standing in the society, you should not regard some of your friends demands for monetary assistance as a burden. An alternative worth exploring would be to establish a small scale industry for them to engage in. That would bring a steady flow of money and minimize their requests from you. Besides, you are not the only one who's been inundated with requests from friends. Some people on this board have, and have choosen a nobler and respectable route in fulfilling their requests --- donating discreetly without any fanfare.

The gullibility of man never stop to baffle me. Do you guys really believe this writer is "rich"? Read through the lines and see that is this guy is a wanna be. No real rich person will say " I came down" to the level of the poor. What a fake. A big headed snub.

I doubt if anybody here cares if the guy is rich or not. My advice to him, is that he should not regard the requests from some of his friends as a burden, because of his financial standing in the society. I dont think a rich man would grumble that that the demands exacted on him, by some of his friends are a burden. He could alleviate the situation by either setting them up for life, through various ways. Apparently, you did not get the innuendo in my earlier advise to him, that his wealth should not be a barrier in helping his less privileged friends.

U guys seem to 4get that eventhough u r with them here in nigeria, folks disturb 4 money particularly them ladies once they see u r getting on a little.

you guys quit crucifying him. y'all know how nigerians keep calling you to ask for money. and because of the time difference they tend to wake you up at night too. he's not feeling big and mighty. he's just expressing disgust. nigerians should quit their attitude of disturbing people overseas to send them money.

Its  a normal thing in Nigeria to always ask for money. Naija like free money even when we have some.  In Naija, people think that  N500 found is worth more than  N100,000 worked for. I come to notice that everybody wants recharge cards In Nigeria. Even Senators  are taking recharge cards  from MTN  as bribes , N7000 worth of cards a month.

Never loan people money. Oprah said that , unless you don't want to see them again.  If you must give or loan,  make sure that it not too much so that if they fail to repay (most certanly) you aint going to have no qualms.

its no big deal to me, honestly. the mentality of nigerian at home is that you are better off. full stop. its up to you how ell you play your cards.

the calls and the asking would not go away, so you better wake up to that reality and stop mourning.

i remember even when i was a studying, my old colleagues in the banking industry would even ask for the impossible, i had to manage them somehow and i didnt see them as vampires . if you critically look at it , its really not their fault but the impression that had been created by these "oluwole boys" over time.

there is no problem in asking or giving,the real problem is if u dont have the guts to say NO.

I think my own perspective is for everyone of us to choose our friends very carefully.I have never traveled out of this country once and I have friends from my Uni days in the USA ans the UK. I have never asked for money before from anyone and I dont think every Nigerian is intimidated by our janded brothers.

It is all a question of perspective. My best friend's parents are in the USA courtesy a visa lottery in 2000 and everytime they come home, thier house is filled to the brim with people DAILY who have come to collect their share of the USA booty! When my friend(who could not go cos he was too old at that time) purchased a car very at about the time his folks came home, everyone though they bought it for him.

We have people in Nigeria who have simply condemened themselves to lack! I dont mean this as an attack but perhaps I have my own business and it is growing, I tend to look at Nigerians who have given up jobs to travel abroad with pity. What ever I need I can make happen.

The people who are asking for money from you have personal issues to deal with. You are not their God. Tell them to go earn their money!And do try and get friends that are not parasite.

It is known fact:productive people and needy never walk together! If those people are your friends with whom you share common values, if the tables were turned, you prolly will be asking them for money too and they will be asking for our opinion on Nairaland!

It's funny, what I have nptices about people back home asking for money is that the ones who trully need the money are not the ones asking,

true. the ones who really need it seldom ask. its those who already have but still have big eye. each time i go to naija, i see that these people are doing really well. using expensive phones while im managing a kpako phone here.
they shuffle in and out of the country easily and then turn around to ask for western union.

yea understood some naijas ask for money and stuff prolly becos they think that once u are abroad u ve free access to lots of cash,clothes nd stuff.its jst normal,that people expect u to get them things from jd.bet nobody asked u for anythin wen u were in naija.
all u got to do is make them realize that its nt as easy as they think,its def.nt easy or
_{maybe that wont be necessary since u are high class,u might as well live up to ur self acclaimed title}

since u claim to be down to earth nd wat not,its funny how u classify people,I want to know how u drew ur chart on low class nd high class, it was really stupid to say that u are of high class and some other people are low class,I think there would ve been a better way to tell us how they beg u in naija.

Never lend money to family or friends. When they dont pay it back the relationship will be at an end.

Never lend or borrow money from people you know

It's quite common for Nigerians to attempt to take advantage of their friends and relations who are well-heeled. They come up with all sorts of stories to make some money off the person. Nothing wrong in helping some of those who are genuinely in distress, but be careful about the opportunists.

pannyman:

It's quite common for Nigerians to attempt to take advantage of their friends and relations who are well-heeled. They come up with all sorts of stories to make some money off the person. Nothing wrong in helping some of those who are genuinely in distress, but be careful about the opportunists.

damn right, like mostly our problem is that is very hard to trust one another but we're so cheerful. some people give as in they bribe,

westsidema:

damn right,  like mostly our problem is that is very hard to trust one another but we're so cheerful. some people give as in they bribe,

besides, is common, people do ask for money n they repay back.

hi all,
@topic u know that som ppl who are in nigeria always want som freinds in europe.
so one day they can make it there too. they think tht life is all roses out there.
they dont know the pain som ppl go thru living in europe.
if u have friends asking u for money tell them that u are strugling there that u are not
that wealthy.
som nigeria are working  but still beg somone 4 money.

raphy:

hi all,
@topic u know that som people who are in nigeria always want som freinds in europe.
so one day they can make it there too. they think that life is all roses out there.
they don't know the pain som people go through living in europe.
if u have friends asking u for money tell them that u are strugling there that u are not
that wealthy.
som nigeria are working but still beg somone 4 money.

here
nah, he cant possibly tell them that remember he is of the high class society while they are of low class,u dont expect him to make them fill like he is their level. mab he will device another method to kip them off his wealth. ^{high class my foot}

i have to agree with babyosisi, funloving needs to get off his high horse.  But then i'm sure when he does "come down" this high horse, he uses these poor and lowly as his stool.

it is only natural for friends who feel that you are doing better to come ask you for money. You don't have to be in England for them to do that. It happens right here in the home base.

If you're as wealthy as you claim, you have a social responsiblity to help your fellow man/woman as much as you can, after all, there's love in sharing.

WHAT R U FEELING LIKE? THEY NEVER BEGGED FOR UR FRIENDSHIP. I OPTED TO BE THEIR FRIEND. WHY DONT U TELL THEM WHAT U HAVE POSTED ON NAIRALAND RATHER THAN SYA IT HERE. U HAVE CASH AND THEY ASK U BUT IF U CANT GIVE THEM, TELL THEM U CANT NOT THAT U'LL COME HERE AND RUN DOWN UR FRIENDS HERE. PPLE ARE NOT EQUAL EVEN IF THEY HAVE THE SAME QUALIFICATION, BORN ON THE SAME DAY BY THE SAME PARENTS.

I HATE IT WHEN PPLE SAY POOR PPLE, ITS BAD AND U AV TO CHANGE UR ATTITUDE, GUESS U CANT BE A PHILANTHROPIST LIKE THE M.K.O'S, DANGOTE'S AND IF U HAVE COMPANY, U'LL DEFINITELY RECRUIT PEOPLE FROM RICH HOME.

Calling anyone 'poor' and 'lowly' simply because they have asked for help is rather mean. Let's all try and remember the desperation that comes with hunger and the struggle to make ends meet back home, and not get pig-headed by the opportunity and luck we may have had in life.

So, your Naija friends, family etc. ask for help? Do what you can, within reason, to help and you will be richly rewarded. God blesses those who bless others.

Having gone through the various replies I have seen the diverse replies from NL, which is typical of any group of people.

Some gave good, quality advice while some practically insulted me, taking out lines from my post to use to buttress their baseless point. Such people easily remind me  of Fani Kayode and Frank Nweke Jnr.

To those who have something positive to say, I say thank you for your suggestions.

For those using their mouth to run others down, I hope you think of something better to do with your time  or just keep quiet.

And for those interested, I am presently back in Nigeria and working here for now but my location has the tendency to change with time.

If you have the Money Give, If you do not have then tell them you don't have Money, Final!

It's a common norm in Naija to ask their well to do friends favour, what i'll advice is to do the little you can and leave the rest. what comes around, goes around. Nothing bad in been your brother's keeper. keep on keeping on. it's well.

If u are not pleased and comfortable with the asking then
ONE WORD
CHANGE YOUR MOBILE NUMBER IF POSSIBLE RELOCATE .
but remember not to break the ladder that helped you in getting to the top, cos on your way down you will definately need the ladder.

Simple Question!

Why did the poor ones become your friend(s)??

Shey u know the answer now ba!

topeorekoy:

WHAT R U FEELING LIKE? THEY NEVER BEGGED FOR UR FRIENDSHIP. I OPTED TO BE THEIR FRIEND. WHY DONT U TELL THEM WHAT U HAVE POSTED ON NAIRALAND RATHER THAN SYA IT HERE. U HAVE CASH AND THEY ASK U BUT IF U CANT GIVE THEM, TELL THEM U CANT NOT THAT U'LL COME HERE AND RUN DOWN UR FRIENDS HERE. PPLE ARE NOT EQUAL EVEN IF THEY HAVE THE SAME QUALIFICATION, BORN ON THE SAME DAY BY THE SAME PARENTS.

I HATE IT WHEN PPLE SAY POOR PPLE, ITS BAD AND U AV TO CHANGE UR ATTITUDE, GUESS U CANT BE A PHILANTHROPIST LIKE THE M.K.O'S, DANGOTE'S AND IF U HAVE COMPANY, U'LL DEFINITELY RECRUIT PEOPLE FROM RICH HOME.

Guy you sound like a real poor man!

hope u are not

dont tink u guyz are getin dis tin clear, d odeku and pepesoup dey take here afta sykin u people for rabar is it up to the burger bakardi etc, u guyz take ovader? wen u showoff by sendin pix of u in a rented car tellin dem u bought it, pix of u in clubs,u shud be ready to mit demands if dey ask? boys 4 9ja ar tryin hard to survive, if am lyin ask my yahoo yahoo frend who is into big time rabar!!!!
u shud be grateful people ask u for rabar no mata how small u give just give even if its once in evry five asking!!!!!!!!!!

@Funloving - I want to believe you are just expressing your mind and discussing what people 'WHO HAVE', go through!
@Samsilo - Please do take it easy with people who don't have and besides I hope you know that lots of people in the UK actually asks for help from pple living in Nija. An uncle of mine working in the UK, could not even bury his mum, had to ask for a substantial amount from an uncle working in PH
@Spoilt - Don't take it so hard on people, if you can HELP, do so, if you can't, just BURST it. If pple ask you and they don't get from you, they'll go somewhere else.
@Tcube - who wonders why one relates with the poor instead of those in their economic class. I really wonder where you are coming from, that some pple miss-use an opportunity of friendship, doesn't mean they are not worth giving a chance. Thank God for who you are today!
@Niyyie - I hope some day, when you are seriously in need, you will not be mistaken to be an opportunist, pls quite judging pple. Jesus Christ gave everyone the fishes and loaves, he didn't seperate the opportunist from the geniune! that is if you are a christian and understand this principle of giving.

@ EVERYONE
I believe this topic is not only for us to understand more about ourselves, but also try to correct our mistakes. If you are opportuned to give, pls do not hesitate, there is indeed blessing in giving. I have experienced it. On the other hand remember, it pays to be a giver than always on the receiving end.
Let me give you an instance: There is a multi-millioneer who lives at the back of my house in the east (works abroad). This man usually gives each family around his house, a bag of rice during each festive period. He also provided bore-hole and tarred the road leading to his residence, which also gives access to everyone around. One day, he came to visit my parents, who are not rich and you know what he said: THE SECRET OF MY WEALTH IS THE FACT THAT I GIVE, AS LONG AS I HAVE. If anyone decides to use that against me, he is actually hurting God and besides, those who do not learn from my act of giving, will only remain beggars.
Testimony: Moi also, in school i never lacked but i got meager sum from my parents. The amazing thing was that every one thought i was from a rich home, not knowing they were actually more bouyant than myself. Most will come and share my provs. and food stuffs, and sometimes, i may just have 5 naira left, but i really don't know how things patched, because i never lacked. I may just get a favour from a friend, with out asking or a far relative remembers me or my cake sells big time. This has always been the case in my life and GOD, I THANK YOU SO MUCH!

So my dears: if you think you have so much and you can't give with out complaining, don't be surprise if you remain where you are!

@funloving - burst complaining and ask God to direct you as you give. If you are rich, actually take it upon yourself as a sacrifice you have to make and as a gift God has given you to share. If you are a christian, you'll note from the bible, that somepeople have gifts of giving, as much as others have, of healing, teaching and so on. The amazing thing is that some people actually delight in giving, like myself

JUST FISH OUT THOSE WHO REALLY NEED AND HELP, and I repeat: AS LONG AS YOU HAVE!

pls don't give them money but teach them how to make money in all course and also add little decency to yourself when making friend online.

@angeljay u seem to have a lot of time on your hands
abi u sef need some of de money?

@ topic
Why complain? If u live a life of cruising around, why wont people think u're rich.
If u are in a position to help people, do it and dont make it a news.

Afterall Nigeria as a nation still dole out inexplicable amount of money to some poor african countries yet noone knows and _{there's still enough to steal.}