Pls I would like to knw if ur hubby asked for ur printed account transaction ow do u react to it and mean while u have helped dis said man in d past as in monetary term amount in to almost 3 million.now he wants to see my bank details for d year.though I lied I closed d account. But he isn't satisfied with dat. I'm already sick with his silly attitudes..pls married women in d house pls share ur opinion with me pls

Lol. Your profile says you are not new to nairaland but you brought this kinda topic here?


Your marriage is crashing soon if you take the advice you’ll get from here serious.


The Men here will side your husband while your likes will side you and tell you not to show him. So be prepared.

stupidity:
Lol. Your profile says you are not new to nairaland but you brought this kinda topic here?


Your marriage is crashing soon if you take the advice you’ll get from here serious.


The Men here will side your husband while your likes will side you and tell you not to show him. So be prepared.

I knw its gonna crash soon.I'm fed up seriously

Are you the sole provider? As in, you earn more and spend more?

What made him ask for it in the first place?

Acidosis:


Are you the sole provider? As in, you earn more and spend more?

I was able to save a reasonable sum b4 resigning.wanted to go into biz
Then he has issues with his biz.I borrowed him a sum of money which he deliberately refused to pay.now from my feeding allowance I save while at home. He just woke up and was lik he needs d bank transaction details.which I knw if I do he would want d money.mind u after I borrowed him som money previously his business kicked up.he is doing well.im just tired of his ways.

stephnie44:
I knw its gonna crash soon.I'm fed up seriously

no no no. Please kindly take this post down. The advice you’ll get here will worsen it all. Seek advice from pastors or figure heads around you please

Hmmmmmmmmm about that HIV drug in one of your topics who brought it to your house?

Mstick:
Hmmmmmmmmm about that HIV drug in one of your topics who brought it to your house?

he did

Wow so he has HIV? Madam so many people would come and give you different advice but at the end you know best. If you report to your pastor they would definitely support him which wouldn't make you any happier. So do what ever you know is best for YOU. Your husband has no right to ask for your bank statement and vice versa because you are not running a joint account, but you know in Nigerian marriages husband is God while wife is slave.

stephnie44:
he did

stephnie44:
I was able to save a reasonable sum b4 resigning.wanted to go into biz
Then he has issues with his biz.I borrowed him a sum of money which he deliberately refused to pay.now from my feeding allowance I save while at home. He just woke up and was lik he needs d bank transaction details.which I knw if I do he would want d money.mind u after I borrowed him som money previously his business kicked up.he is doing well.im just tired of his ways.

Try and resolve your issues okay. We all are facing one problem or the other. Seems like you married a financially domineering/insecure man though. The goal may be to run you down financially, and demotivate you from pursuing any meaningfully dream.

Your best bet is to understand how to live with him at this stage. Create a open dialogue with him like you've done on this thread, discuss your worries and his fears. Financially insecure men marry women who make them feel safe. Unfortunately, majority of men fall in this category.

He's probably trying to boost his confidence, albeit in a wrong way. You know the man you married, so find a way to do this without altering your set goals. This must start with a honest conversation about your worries and his fears. The discussion must come with 100% honesty.

Acidosis:


Try and resolve your issues okay. We all are facing one problem or the other. Seems like you married a financially domineering/insecure man though. The goal may be to run you down financially, and demotivate you to pursue any meaningfully dream.

Your best bet is to understand how to live with him at this stage. Create a open dialogue with him like you've done on this thread, discuss your worries and his fears. Financially insecure men marry women who make them feel safe. Unfortunately, majority of men fall in this category.

He's probably trying to boost his confidence, albeit in a wrong way. You know the man you married, so find a way to do this without altering your set goals. This must start with a honest conversation about your worries and his fears. The discussion must come with 100% honesty.

tnx a lot.I've done all that he said and I quote u can't have ur own money.whatever u need I will give u.but still not working.I've been managing dis problem over 1 yr now and its not getting any better but keeps getting worst

stupidity:
no no no. Please kindly take this post down. The advice you’ll get here will worsen it all. Seek advice from pastors or figure heads around you please

just shut up everybody no dey stupid as you be. i no sabi wetin de wori some of una

stephnie44:
tnx a lot.I've done all that he said and I quote u can't have ur own money.whatever u need I will give u.but still not working.I've been managing dis problem over 1 yr now and its not getting any better but keeps getting worst

Wtf! Do you have control over his expenses/accounts. Do you have access to any of his accounts, mobile apps, etc?

Financial bullying can translate to abuse. You should be very careful.

Acidosis:


Wtf! Do you have control over his expenses/accounts. Do you have access to any of his accounts, mobile apps, etc?

Financial bullying can translate to abuse. You should be very careful.

tnx dear

Do i have advice for you? not really.
You just have to maintain that the account has been closed, and if you operate another account that does not have more details give it to him.
When you are ready for your business, start small. ask him to loan you money, and when you want to expand claim you would like to take loan.
Importantly, pretend you do not have money even if your balance is seven digits.

Your husband wants you to be 100% dependent on him, my advice? Stand your ground and DON'T give him your account statement no matter what. Such men are very very dangerous.

stephnie44:
tnx a lot.I've done all that he said and I quote u can't have ur own money.whatever u need I will give u.but still not working.I've been managing dis problem over 1 yr now and its not getting any better but keeps getting worst

DukeofNZ:


just shut up everybody no dey stupid as you be. i no sabi wetin de wori some of una

huh?? Are you alright ni? Did I say something bad here? Abeg carry your frustration enter third mainland bridge

seyigiggle:
Do i have advice for you? not really.
You just have to maintain that the account has been closed, and if you operate another account that does not have more details give it to him.
When you are ready for your business, start small. ask him to loan you money, and when you want to expand claim you would like to take loan.
Importantly, pretend you do not have money even if your balance is seven digits.

tnx dear.I told him d account was closed.I tried confirming from my bank through twitter to knw if an account can be closed permanently. And also if d same acc can be reactivated.I ain't getting any genuine explanation. I will stand my ground cos after loosing much money to him.I was saving incase d marriage fails I can fall back on something.of which d marriage isn't working.intact it was after I lend him d money dat issues rose up.cos he didn't want to pay.refused me working or doing a biz.I have it in mind to leave with my daughter soon cos its getting mch

Is your current goal about maintaining your financial independence or on fixing your marriage? You need to be clear with yourself on that.


That said, you should still keep your account status to yourself until you are clear on what you need to achieve what yiu want to achieve.

While is is very possible to fix (fix, not preserve) your marriage and still maintain your financial independence, ultimately, both may not be possible.

But you know the man you married.


Right?

Sorry about your situation, but you know him better.
by the way, i do not see any reason why a man may ask the wife for her statement. he does not wants her to succeed or what?
some men their village people have got them. why should i as a man be worried if my wife has or makes more money than me? even if i do not benefits directly, won't our children?
so, why does he wants to know the balance on your account?

stephnie44:
tnx dear.I told him d account was closed.I tried confirming from my bank through twitter to knw if an account can be closed permanently. And also if d same acc can be reactivated.I ain't getting any genuine explanation. I will stand my ground cos after loosing much money to him.I was saving incase d marriage fails I can fall back on something.of which d marriage isn't working.intact it was after I lend him d money dat issues rose up.cos he didn't want to pay.refused me working or doing a biz.I have it in mind to leave with my daughter soon cos its getting mch

LewsTherin:
Is your current goal about maintaining your financial independence or on fixing your marriage? You need to be clear with yourself on that.


That said, you should still keep your account status to yourself until you are clear on what you need to achieve what yiu want to achieve.

While is is very possible to fix (fix, not preserve) your marriage and still maintain your financial independence, ultimately, both may not be possible.

But you know the man you married.


Right?

though I never prayed to get married and divorce later on.b4 we got married d aggrement was once I resign and relocate where he is based I would start up a biz.so I tried to save while working.so after marriage his biz has issues I had to help out.things became OK he refused paying me..I left once last yr he came begging promising to pay bk.I can bk he suddenly changed.I started saving .I don't have much but I can start life with dat.I knw I can't be financially independent here with him .since he has refused to let me be I guess ur advice here works better.I appreciate

You are living up to your moniker.

stupidity:
Lol. Your profile says you are not new to nairaland but you brought this kinda topic here?


Your marriage is crashing soon if you take the advice you’ll get from here serious.


The Men here will side your husband while your likes will side you and tell you not to show him. So be prepared.

CaptainMitch:
You are living up to your moniker.

i don’t understand why are you guys always talking about my moniker and not read meaning to the comment? That comment has absolute nothing to do with my moniker.

stephnie44:
though I never prayed to get married and divorce later on.b4 we got married d aggrement was once I resign and relocate where he is based I would start up a biz.so I tried to save while working.so after marriage his biz has issues I had to help out.things became OK he refused paying me..I left once last yr he came begging promising to pay bk.I can bk he suddenly changed.I started saving .I don't have much but I can start life with dat.I knw I can't be financially independent here with him .since he has refused to let me be I guess ur advice here works better.I appreciate

So you don't want to try fix your marriage? If so, even though I am not now and never will be a fan of divorce, that's your perogative.

But I would personally like you to try. Have you both discussed this?



P.s. Still keep your financial details to yourself. Right now, that is your best option. But try not to be aggressive about it. Except you've decided to end it with him. Try stall, delay, disambiguate, whatever. But don't be aggressive about it yet.

Are you a married man?

Share every information about your finances - bank and investment accounts, login passwords, etc- with your wife.

Many have dropped dead and left their children to suffer. And personal bankers and lawyers to enjoy the loot

stupidity:
no no no. Please kindly take this post down. The advice you’ll get here will worsen it all. Seek advice from pastors or figure heads around you please

@ the bolded are you for real? you still quoted this. That woman needs to call into today show by 12:00 am on Nigeriainfo 99.3fm, she will get the best advice from Grandpa's and ma's

DaBogu:
Are you a married man?

Share every information about your finances - bank and investment accounts, login passwords, etc- with your wife.

Many have dropped dead and left their children to suffer. And personal bankers and lawyers to enjoy the loot

I'm a woman.I once entrusted my LIFE SAVINGS to him did he pay back?no one prays to die for bankers to enjoy our sweats but NNE being alive while uve seen money suddenly u come broke dey even beg for recharge.no pray for such

Please, does he have a father, mentor or someone he listens to? Please, try and listen to the program today by 12:00am today Nigeriainfo 99.3fm, you will get advice from Grandpa's and grand ma's, they have seen it all.

stephnie44:
I'm a woman.I once entrusted my LIFE SAVINGS to him did he pay back?no one prays to die for bankers to enjoy our sweats but NNE being alive while uve seen money suddenly u come broke dey even beg for recharge.no pray for such

DaBogu:
Please, does he have a father, mentor or someone he listens to? Please, try and listen to the program today by 12:00am today Nigeriainfo 99.3fm, you will get advice from Grandpa's and grand ma's, they have seen it all.

he doesn't listen to anyone.I've done dat it only makes him keep enermity with anyone I talks to.even most ppl dat benefits from him blame me for their quarel