NIGHT DIGEST
WATCHING FOOTBALL WITH A WOMAN IS REALLY STRESSFUL PART 2
Wife: which teams are playing.
Husband: Arsenal vs Manchester United
Wife : oooh wonderful! I love Arsenal..
Husband: that's a good team...
Wife: is Drogba playing ?�
Husband: he doesn't play for any of these teams...
Wife: okay sweeet...is that Chris Brown?
Husband: [bored] no he is Chamberlain ...
Wife :okay but they look the same...what's that yellow card for.
Husband: its a warning to the player. ..
After few minutes Rooney scores for Manchester United....
Wife: [cerebrates in high mood] is that Chamberlain who has scored ?
Husband: [calmly] no its Rooney for Manchester United
...!!
Wife: [furious] how ? it should be arsenal who should have scored !!
Husband: [silent]
Wife: what is that red card for ?
Husband : [bored] that means the player should go out of the pitch for misbehaving.
Wife: then is he going to be a coach ?
Husband:[unwilling to answer] aaaaaaa no ...
Wife: its the same with traffic lights: yellow=warning;
red=danger.
Husband: exactly darling...
Wife :what about the green card ?
Husband: mmmm nothing of that kind in a field of play
....
Wife: I want arsenal to win the world cup ...
Husband: [silent]
Wife: who is that man standing who looks like Mr. Bean
?
Husband: [bored] it's the Arsenal coach ....Arsene Wenger.
Wife: that means the other opponent's coach is Manchest Wenger ?
Husband: [changes the channel to MTV BASE ]���

Frosh Jokes
1.In my country Nigeria ,you will just enter a boutique and see ur salary on a pair of shoes .
2.The devil is wicked he will whisper to ur ear "go and steal meat from the pot ur mother is sleeping" the same devil will also whisper to ur mother's ear "go to the kitchen,ur child is stealing meat".
3.Seeing a cockroach in ur meat pie is not a problem ,but seeing a half#cockroach in the remaining half of ur meat pie is a big problem.
4.Girls this habit of wearing earnings,nose rings ,necklace ,belly button rings,eye rings etc is getting out of hand...a girl at the bus stop fell and sounded like a tray full of spoons,forks and knifes.
5.Did you know that being broke for a longtime can make u forget the spelling of "MANEY".
6.If u want to see the stone that killed Goliath ,ask a slay queen to prepare beans for you.
7.I've never heard of vacancy or employment opportunity in CBN are they immortal.
9.When you get angry with ur parents ,just go outside the yard and put a house for rent sign.thank me later.
10.In 3 ways u can break the mirror ......(1)throw stone at the mirror,(2)throw the mirror on the floor(3)stand in front of the mirror and smile by showing ur teeth.
11.Imagine dying in peace ,leaving ur unpaid debts ....then boom ur pastor wakes you up.
12.I really hate it when 2000kids uses makeup instead of their baby powder.
13.Pls is it a crime to stop a commercial taxi ... Greet all the passengers and then walk away ?
14.If smoking weed causes memory loss, why then weed smokers never forget to smoke weed
15.Those of you that brag about how easily you block people on social media, How many houses have you built with the blocks
16..When I was in primary school, nothing excites me like a closing bell on a Friday without an "Assignment"
17.Next time I will enter plane if we get to the sky.. I will open the back door and jump into heaven God will be surprise to see me...I'm very smart
18.Looking left and right
before crossing the
road means you don't
have confidence in God,
just cross and go, God
is watching.
19.Heart break is very bad....my neighbour having been washing one plate for 49minute now... Hmm that is the reason i gave my heart to christ
20.Gala sellers will run 100metres just to meet your bus, you touch the gala and say "it's not soft" my sister/brother you will not make heaven
21. White people will die and leave a will.......Black people will die and leave a bill.......... BLACKS WHY
22.I fainted 5 times this morning when a lady told me that she is my friend on Xender..... In fact, I'm still fainting till now sef
23. Please, give your life to Christ now o, is not when you see me in Heaven, you'll start shouting....."Ojoro Ojoro".... That one concern u
24. Remember growing up as a kid and you said "i want to be a pilot" 18 years later and the only thing u can do relating to Airplane is FLIGHT MODE in your phone
25. If you have a crush on me, you better say it now o.... It's not when you see my wedding photos you will now be saying "his wife is not even fine" my sister, na your own business oo
26.Please, avoid speaking too much English.. I was in a bus when a lady started by saying "brother, please open the windows, everywhere is hot before we start fornicating in here"......
27. I over heard a slay queen singing today
ROCK OF AGES, SWEAR FOR ME
LET ME HANG MYSELF IN TREE
Honestly, even our teacher is confused
28. I swear, some people can't make heaven
How can someone use his friend's power bank to charger his own power bank
29.Two pregnated women were fighting for a last seat in a bus and the driver said "the ugly one should sit "both women stood until they reached their destinations,some people are as wise as king Solomon.
30.That moment when a slender girl enters a swimming pool and people get out very fast and start running for their lifes thinking that it was a snake
that got in the pool.
31.The way I respect my crush,i even drink perfume before greeting her.
32.when am bored I download a voice changing app, call the police and tell them my neighbor is selling drugs and just sit back and watch the magic happen.
33.you are not a real man if u have never locked yourself
WHICH ONE FUNNY PASS?

All