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If I Were God Enh - Religion - Nairaland

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Some Hilarious Things Man Can Do If He Were God / If I Were God. / What If Men Were God? (2) (3) (4)

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If I Were God Enh by donnie(m): 5:15pm On May 12, 2007
I will tell you two sad stories,

The first is a story i heard about a lady who was healed of cancer at a Benny Hinn meeting. After she got her healing she stayed on with Pastor Benny and learned the Word. Well, that was until her folks at the other church where she used to attend began asking her to return.

The lady came to meet Pastor Benny and said she wanted to return to her church. Pastor Benny tried to persuade her to stay telling her that she had grown so much in faith ever since she was with them and that there's still more to learn. But no, she insisted that they need her and that she was sure they will be happy about her miracle.

Well, she got back there and the pastor of the church would say to her, well, you could have gotten your healing anywhere. Your mind only became more alert at that time and that was why you got healed. He made sure he totally denied the calling or annointing upon the man of God Benny Hinn and the woman believed him.

The weeks went by, and the woman began to notice some old symptoms returning. Before long, her hair began to fall off, her tummy began to swell. Oh the woman called to Pastor Benny for help. But how do i help you now? the man of God asked. You've lost all those weeks of faith you got. I'm sorry i can't do anything about it.

Well, not long after, the woman died.

Now for the second story, I am writtng this one with much grief as i can recall how in 2000 a dear lady travelled with us from Calabar to Port Harcourt for a crusade with Pastor Chris. She was sick and dying of Diabetes. Well, she recieved her healing at the crusade and came back rejoicing and testifying of her healing.

This however did not please members of her church. The days went by and some brethren(one of whom was a close friend of mine) will go from time to time to visit and encourage her in faith but it was not long before she began to hide from them, leaving messages that she was not at home. She eventually opened up and told them that her church members will not allow her to be seen in their company.

Just for the records: There was at the same crusade, another woman who was refered to then as the woman from Calabar (if you can  remember her testimony on atmosphere for miracles) who was carried unconcious to the meeting, but got up and began to run all over the place. I knew her personally. She worked then with the department of Environmental education at UNICAL. She was called Mma Ba by those who knew her. She is still alive and well and ever ready to testify of God's goodness.

Well, the weeks went by and the diabaetic symptoms began to re-appear. This time, it was not long before it killed her. How sad it is to know how far human beings(even christains) can go as a result of their selfishness. It reminds me of those Jews in Jesus' day who saw a woman set free from bondage; who rather than rejoice, turned with indignation to Jesus, accussing him of working on the Sabbath.

It was obvious that these religious folks did not mind that she died, as long as they succeeded in preventing her from that Christ Embassy. I am sure her pastor(who was a well known 'Holliness' preacher in town at the time convinced her that it was the power of the devil that set her free and how do i know that?

On the night of her wake -keeeping which my friend attended, The pastor asked mockingly,"A place where they wear trousers and put on lipstick- is that a church?" And the congregation chorused, NO!

Oh my! Please excuse me some folly here; but If i were God, while he is yet blaspheming, i will not hessitate to send a bolt of lightning to first of all, burn off his clothes right there in front of his congregation, before roasting him from head to toe. Not forgetting to send thunder alongside, to scatter such an unholy gathering of wickedness and hypocricy.
Re: If I Were God Enh by mrmayor(m): 5:43pm On May 12, 2007
Moral of the story is if you are healed by Pastor Chris and Benny Hinn don't ever go back to your church because the healing would fail and you die in no time.More pawa to men-of-god Chris and hinn,all those who return to their church will surely die,ungrateful bastards and bitches.After all they no pay them (Tax) sorry Tithe.Shango punis them ynash,sorry Holy Fire punis dem ynash
Re: If I Were God Enh by Nobody: 6:47pm On May 12, 2007
is it not the same God been worshipped in the churches? the fact that she got her healing there doesnt mean she's beholden to the pastor, for life.

pple feel more comfortable in creating personality cults

thou shall have no other god before me = the 2nd commandment . . .
Re: If I Were God Enh by Nobody: 8:43pm On May 12, 2007
Bottomline. . . those "miracles" were false. God is not a vindictive God to "heal" you and then allow you to relapse simply because you went back to your own church.
- When Christ healed the 10 lepers, ONLY ONE came back to give thanks, the other 9 did not even bother yet the bible does not record that their leprosy came back.
- Each time Christ healed someone, he did not FORCE them to join his large troop of followers rather he sent them away even going as far as telling them not to broadcast their healing - of course the people went and spread his fame abroad and even more people were brought for healing.

What is the moral of this your stories? That for healing to be permanent one must BY FORCE remain a member of the church were the supposed healing took place? What really is the definition of "faith"? Is it tied to your church now? Is it not the same God who is everywhere or is His healing now tied specifically to the "man of God" who pronounced the healing?

- Most false miracles occur as a result of the mystery of medicine. It is the same as you see with people who feel no pain when they go into shock after a serious injury. The brain releases endorphins that block the sensation of pain, it does not mean the pain no longer exists.
- a lot of "healed" AIDS patients only decieve themselves, perhaps the virus is only in remission, waiting until the "leave the church were the healing took place" for it to rear its ugly head again when our false prophets/miracle workers can then blame it on a loss of faith!

Miracles DO occur, but the above can NOT be classified as one!
Re: If I Were God Enh by mrmayor(m): 8:31am On May 13, 2007
Donnie,

HIGH PRIEST OF THE CULT OF CHRIS OYAKHILOME
Re: If I Were God Enh by awoof(m): 11:38am On May 13, 2007
It is crazy for any man of God to insist that anybody that receives a miracle in his church must remain a member. It means that there is more to that miracle.
Re: If I Were God Enh by Pain(m): 6:42pm On May 13, 2007
Has Anybody Here Heard of The Word PLACEBO EFFECT ?
Re: If I Were God Enh by Nobody: 7:32pm On May 13, 2007
Pain:

Has Anybody Here Heard of The Word PLACEBO EFFECT ?

Thank you! That was the word i was searching for earlier.
Re: If I Were God Enh by Gwaine(m): 8:07pm On May 13, 2007
donnie:

The weeks went by, and the woman began to notice some old symptoms returning. Before long, her hair began to fall off, her tummy began to swell. Oh the woman called to Pastor Benny for help. But how do i help you now? the man of God asked. You've lost all those weeks of faith you got. I'm sorry i can't do anything about it.

Very, very sad indeed. Something is suspect here.  undecided

donnie:

Just for the records: . . .She was called Mma Ba by those who knew her. She is still alive and well and ever ready to testify of God's goodness.

Well, the weeks went by and the diabaetic symptoms began to re-appear. This time, it was not long before it killed her

Kai, donnie! grin  Take style arrange your lines very well before you post! In the same breath as you claimed that "she is still alive and well", we are reading quite the opposite that "it was not long before it killed her"! So, which one is it - "still alive and well" or deadly alive?

donnie:

It was obvious that these religious folks did not mind that she died, as long as they succeeded in preventing her from that Christ Embassy. . .
Oh my! Please excuse me some folly here; but If i were God, while he is yet blaspheming, i will not hessitate to send a bolt of lightning to first of all, burn off his clothes right there in front of his congregation, before roasting him from head to toe
.

Allahu akbar! You don join them terrorists??

    ---------------------------

See what personality-cult-worship does (a.k.a "hero-worship"wink? I've always had the persuasion that any "deliverance" or "healing" that ties you to any particular church/denomination is suspect. It is almost the same thing as being delivered from one malady into another migraine.

Make una be careful with the hero-worship phenomena. Who can argue now that one sure thing it breeds is what we are reading from the originator of this thread?? Phew! Thank goodness none of us is "God" - some of us would have been smoked out by now for the comments we made here!  lipsrsealed


PS.
That reminds me: what about this thing wey them dey call "we're all gods with small g"?? Is this an offshoot of that idea?
 
Re: If I Were God Enh by mrpataki(m): 7:12pm On May 14, 2007
There are two sides to this thing.

1. A miracle tied to a particular church is occultic and devilish.

2. A church enforcing its membership on one is as well devilish and occultic.

While not displacing the wrong deeds of these MOGs in the story stated by donnie, will also want us to know that compelling people to a particular kind of church for whatever reason is wrong and a malevolent act towards the service of God.

Until we learn that Jesus is the author of our salvation and not tied to a "MOG" this so-called MOG may continue to manipulate on the minds of their followers.

Was in a fellowship recently where the young man was making mockery of another Man of God, immediately I got up and left the meeting. It is the beginning of occultic doctrines silently.
Re: If I Were God Enh by teddyface(m): 10:45pm On May 14, 2007
i'm so happy with all the replies.
@ poster
this is the problem i have with your church members while i was in school (UNI). you guys ALWAYS forget that THEY CAN BE ONLY ONE GOD. (May God forgive me) i donk know if it is been told to you CE Members off camera that God can only be found at your church for the records, i read your churchs Rhapsody of realities and they as never been a place were that wonderful writer said the Almighty God can only be found in his church. so stop this stupid act of your. GOD is GOD, he told mose the I AM THAT I AM. look my brother we are all one, we were made by God. JUST ONE GOD. even if you are a mus or a chris.

@All

i dont know if you will agree with me but all i believe is that the church is your "heart" dont let any of this so called men of God who are meant to be teaching us the WORD of GOD fool us. we were made on earth for us to belike CHRIST.

N.B
I will never forget NCCF
Re: If I Were God Enh by Nobody: 11:14pm On May 14, 2007
teddyface:

N.B
I will never forget NCCF

Neither will i, best christian group i was blessed to be a member of.
Re: If I Were God Enh by dinnerm(f): 11:36pm On May 14, 2007
the truth is that u are not God and u can never be,but that pastor is wrong.
Re: If I Were God Enh by donnie(m): 9:43am On May 15, 2007
I thank all of you for your responses. Even for those where i have been labelled an occult worshiper. I expected all of that.

Before i proceed i will like to mention here that i am sure several of you know that many who have been healed in Pastor Chris' meetings and are still healed today are not necessarily members of his Christ Embassy. Many are even healed daily by television.

I will use my replies to some of your posts to explain further.

Mr. Mayor wrote:
Moral of the story is if you are healed by Pastor Chris and Benny Hinn don't ever go back to your church because the healing would fail.

And i do not agree with that. I will rather put his statement correctly:

If you are healed by God in any meeting through any man of God, you must fellowship in a church where the Word is exhalted above all else in order to keep your healing. You must stay close to God's Word and in an environment where the annointing of God is present. You must learn to use the Word of faith.

Now, if you are in an environment where they play down on the Word of faith and despise the annointing of God's Spirit, and castigate God's ministers; a place where the annointing of God is not present and where you are not taught God's living Word; my advice to you is that you run for your life! Depart from such a place because chances are that you will loose your healing and possibly, your life because satan is not happy you got healed in the first place and if he comes back and finds that your house( Spirit) is still as empty( with out the Word) as it was when he left, he will got get many more wicked devils and your state will be worse.

Satan is a proud fellow and he does not play fair. You must put him on the run.

The bible says, resist the devil and he will flee from you! The man of God through the annointing of the Holy Ghost helped you recieve your healing. It is your responsibility to keep it.
Re: If I Were God Enh by somze(f): 10:11am On May 15, 2007
@donnie
Your complete lack of knowledge concerning the bible can not be overemphasized.

99% of the people healed in the bible returned to their homes (churches, synagogues, cities etc).

Those healings - if they infact happened as you said - may be either psychological or occultic . They do not fit with what is obtainable and in the bible and we can rightly conclude that there are not from God.
Re: If I Were God Enh by thesilent1(m): 10:26am On May 15, 2007
oh my gosh! i think i need to avoid the religion side of this site cos there is just so much bull  here sometimes. bear with me while i ask a few questions;

Why if you can not heal yourself, are you then expected to "keep" or "maintain" your healing?!

why would you "lose" your healing because you went to another church?!

why would you "lose" tha faith you have "built" up because you leave one church to go to another?!

why would any one let someone talk about their dead relative like that at a wake-keeping because they went to another church?!

someone below has already made a very good point in that even though only 1 leper came back to thank JC, the rest did not lose their healing!!!! God does not just bless you because you have earned it or even worked for it! if that were the case, explain salvation.

too many people put their faith in the pastor so much that even when God himself is trying to get their attention, they can't hear a thing!

if you need healing, pray! there is nothing extra that your pastor has that you do not have yourself!!!!

PS - THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DOUBLE PORTION ANNOITING EITHER!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THIEVES CON MONEY OUT OF PEOPLE OFFERING DOUBLE PORTION! double portion your self out of here! LOL

Peace!
Re: If I Were God Enh by Gwaine(m): 10:50am On May 15, 2007
@donnie,

donnie:

Mr. Mayor wrote:
Moral of the story is if you are healed by Pastor Chris and Benny Hinn don't ever go back to your church because the healing would fail.

And i do not agree with that. I will rather put his statement correctly:

If you are healed by God in any meeting through any man of God, you must fellowship in a church where the Word is exhalted above all else in order to keep your healing. You must stay close to God's Word and in an environment where the annointing of God is present. You must learn to use the Word of faith.

This is another fine way of saying the same thing stated earlier - that one must be bound to a denomination/movement where they have been healed. Sadly, this is not teaching from God's Word, but purely a case of human craft injected people's minds.

When Jesus healed people, He did not seek to bind anyone to following Him (bitter truth, but true all the same!). As already observed by somze above, rather than Jesus sending the healed back to the synagogues or strategizing to coerce them upon Himself, He sent them home to their own people:

Howbeit Jesus suffered him not, but saith unto him, Go home to thy friends,
and tell them how great things the Lord hath done for thee, and hath had
compassion on thee. --- Mark 5:19


Even when in John 6 many of His disciples turned from following Him, we don't read anywhere that anyone lost his healing as a result. When all deserted/forsook Paul at his first defence (2 Tim. 4:16), we don't read that those he had healed later lost their healing.

The idea that one must remain in a particular church/denomination or cling to a particular MOG is quite simply the thinking of men who are ambitious to promote and keep their empires. It feeds the cancer of personality/hero worship; and one who hears from God will immediately sense that something is wrong somewhere with that kind of system.

I cannot question the source of the anointing in the healing. God is sovereign, and we are not to legislate for Him. What I do know is that not all who are faith-healers are actually having a healthy relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.

-------------------------

Remember Judas - he healed also; but his end should not be used to query the source of his anointing to heal, because it was Christ Himself who gave that power of healing to him when He commissioned the Twelve -

And when he had called unto him his twelve disciples, he gave them power
against unclean spirits, to cast them out, and to heal all manner of sickness
and all manner of disease
. Now the names of the twelve apostles are these;
The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son
of Zebedee, and John his brother; Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew
the publican; James the son of Alphaeus, and Lebbaeus, whose surname was
Thaddaeus; Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also betrayed him.
                                     --- Mark 10:1-4.


Please people, look before you leap!! Just because some people are messing with God's Word and anointing does not mean the anointing must necessarily be denounced as occultic! We know some MOG who live like we're reading another Bible: their oppulence and what they promote have not been touched by the Cross at all; blah-blah. But don't let the shades of their lives push you to condemn yourself in the porcess.

I know what I'm saying from experience; but thank God for His grace that I didn't end up abandoned to my devices!!  cool
Re: If I Were God Enh by thesilent1(m): 11:00am On May 15, 2007
nice one!

jhn 8:32!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: If I Were God Enh by mrmayor(m): 9:38pm On May 15, 2007
Donnie,Donnie,Donnie,

How many times I type your name,if I be your papa I for flog your yeye ynash.I thought you were smart but I guess I was wrong.What is this worship Oyekhilome?just don't get it.
Re: If I Were God Enh by teddyface(m): 12:22am On May 16, 2007
@Gwaine
THANKS ALOT FROM YOUR POST YOU ARE REALLY TALKING FROM XP
Re: If I Were God Enh by Gwaine(m): 12:28am On May 16, 2007
My brother @teddyface,

Na God I go thank!! So many of us really don't know what we let ourselves into when we open our mouths at people. After my 'encounter', I still marvel that God did not abandon me to my own devices!! Praise Him!
cheesy
Re: If I Were God Enh by donnie(m): 6:54pm On May 20, 2007
thesilent1:

oh my gosh! i think i need to avoid the religion side of this site because there is just so much bull  here sometimes. bear with me while i ask a few questions;

Why if you can not heal yourself, are you then expected to "keep" or "maintain" your healing?!

You cannot heal yourself but you sure can TAKE IT(Lambano) by force! You can take what has already been appropriated for you in Christ. Act in faith and recieve.

thesilent1:

why would you "lose" your healing because you went to another church?!

why would you "lose" tha faith you have "built" up because you leave one church to go to another?!

Not every building with a cross on top of it is a church. Some have locked the Lord outside the door. Where the Word and the Spirit are absent, God is not there.

2 Timothy 3
   1This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come.

   2For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy,

   3Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,

   4Traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God;

   5Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.


It is possible to loose your healing in such a place because the Word is not there to cleanse you; the Spirit is not there to guide and empower you. As a result, sin gains dominion over your life, your faith becomes weak and then sickness takes over your body.

John 5:13-14 
13And he that was healed wist not who it was: for Jesus had conveyed himself away, a multitude being in that place.

   14Afterward Jesus findeth him in the temple, and said unto him, Behold, thou art made whole: sin no more, lest a worse thing come unto thee.




thesilent1:

why would any one let someone talk about their dead relative like that at a wake-keeping because they went to another church?!
Askin me? undecided

thesilent1:

someone below has already made a very good point in that even though only 1 leper came back to thank JC, the rest did not lose their healing!!!! God does not just bless you because you have earned it or even worked for it! if that were the case, explain salvation.

The scriptures didn't say they lost their healing; it also did not tell us what happened to them days, weeks, months and years after. Nevertheless, it lets us know that they failed to recieve what the grateful one recieved : WHOLENESS.

Lepeousy usually results in the loss of the extremities of a person. ie. fingers, toes etc. But this guy got he's all back.


thesilent1:

too many people putt their faith in the pastor so much that even when God himself is trying to get their attention, they can't hear a thing!
Too many? like who?

thesilent1:

if you need healing, pray! there is nothing extra that your pastor has that you do not have yourself!!!!

Your pastor might not have anything extra but mine has an office which he did not call himself into. One that he was called to funtion in, not for himself, but for the body. I may not honour him as a person, but i honour him because of that office which he occupies. The annointing for living which every christian should have is not the same as the annointing for service. That one is mighty it can kill you if you despise it.

There are gifts and there are callings. Every ministry office has an annointing to go with it. There is a difference between 'Chris' and 'Pastor Chris'. Do not despise these ministry offices and the annonting that goes with them.


This is not to say we cannot rebuke devils, sickness and disease but you must understand that these will not obey you when you yourself do not understand authority. Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.

thesilent1:

PS - THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DOUBLE PORTION ANNOITING EITHER!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN THIEVES CON MONEY OUT OF PEOPLE OFFERING DOUBLE PORTION! double portion your self out of here! LOL

True. I do not believe in the so-called double portion annointing because that is less than the fullness of the Spirit. Why will i go for two portions when i can get all of the fullness of the annointing.
thesilent1:

Peace!


Shalom. wink
Re: If I Were God Enh by DorisB(f): 7:47pm On May 20, 2007
sorry,you can't be Him so stop your imagination lipsrsealed
Re: If I Were God Enh by somze(f): 9:32pm On May 20, 2007
I fear there is no need for this post.

DONNIE
You quoted a place in the bible were Jesus was saying that a greater illness than the specific/exact illness the guy had may occur if the guy continued in sin and you are using this to justify someone going to a different church other than that were the so called healing took place?

Have you considered that Christ did not stop the guy from worshipin at a synagogue or in his home town? Christ pointed specifically at the guy's life style. Christianity is being taken as a religion now but its really a life style. You are Christ's if you live your life like him. Simple and plain. Not by the church or the miracle or the pastor. IT IS WHO YOU ARE. HOW YOU RELATE, HOW YOU BEHAVE, HOW YOU THINK, HOW YOU SPEAK. IT IS THE REAL YOU.

A lot of very beautiful replies have been given on this already. If you can not understand them I can go no further but quote the following verses:

2 Timothy 2 (New International Version)
23Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels.
24And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.
25Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth,
26and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.

Titus 3 (New International Version)
9But avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless.
10Warn a divisive person once, and then warn him a second time. After that, have nothing to do with him.

Note - the quotes are to outline my reasons for not wanting to continue in an argument, it is not to point you out as a quarrelsome or divisive person. I in no way think you are either.
Re: If I Were God Enh by thesilent1(m): 10:41pm On May 20, 2007
i never insinuated that we are to in any way despise the offices or the office holders in the body of Christ. My point is the many heard cases (and believe me i am not dramatising) of where people have put their faith more in the man and not in God.

maybe the tone of my post came across harshly but it is not without reason.
Re: If I Were God Enh by donnie(m): 1:14pm On May 21, 2007
@Doris B

i guess ur right undecided
Re: If I Were God Enh by Enigma(m): 2:00pm On May 21, 2007
The two stories are just a load of nonsense and simply un-Christian.

The doctrines of the likes of Hinn and Oyakhilome are best avoided like the plague.
Re: If I Were God Enh by NymphoQin(f): 2:06pm On May 21, 2007
Enigma:

The two stories are just a load of nonsense and simply un-Christian.

The doctrines of the likes of Hinn and Oyakhilome are best avoided like the plague.

can i ask why you say to avoid Hinn? i can understand oyakhilome grin. although he looks and acts like hinn too, i wonder if they have a finishing school for prosperity preachers
Re: If I Were God Enh by Enigma(m): 2:24pm On May 21, 2007
Hinn teaches too many false doctrines. He is one of the wolves in sheep's clothing out to fleece the flock.

Try typing these two words - Hinn Prakash - into Google to see an example of Hinn's ways. And of course there is the episode of his Nigeria crusade and his outburst because he lost money staging it - himself scammed by some of his Nigerian fellow wolves.
Re: If I Were God Enh by TayoD(m): 6:21pm On May 21, 2007
@topic and Donnie,

I guess it goes to show that God's thoughts are different from your thoughts and His ways are different from your ways.

It will be good if you can align your thoughts and ways to conform to His and let Him show you that there is indeed a difference between light and darkness.

I have said it before and based on my personal experiences with Christ Embassy Christians that their allegiance is more to their work and Pastor than to Jesus Christ Himself. It is obvious that the miracle 'show' and the rest of it is about pushing a man's agenda against God's. That is the sole reason why they will defraud and steal just to get that agenda going. It is the same reason why Oyhaks will rather save face rather than declare his association with T.B. Joshua unscriptural. It don't matter what damage that association does to the Body of Christ and to the cause of Christ, what matters is that he looks good and error-proof in the eyes of his ever adoring and gullible fans known as his church members!
Re: If I Were God Enh by donnie(m): 7:51pm On May 21, 2007
Ha ha ha ha, here they come again. You haven't seen anything yet, prepare to talk.
These people have been talking since we were in school. they called us names, they pulled down our banners in envy and deep rooted hatred. They did so until we became the largest and most influencial fellowship on campus.

They kept on talking until we became a voice in our nation and around the world; a voice that cannot be ignored.

Prepare your talking machine baecause what you will see in the years to come will cause your mouth to drop. It will be obvoius to all that it is not by power nor by might but by the Spirit of the Lord.

Ha ha ha ha(logs out and continues laughing in the Spirit)
Re: If I Were God Enh by TellyB(m): 7:53pm On May 21, 2007
Pride is not a virtue.

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