HI,
just wondering, I am planning my wedding. and i know that both couple have to put something down as pa money

but is the wife suppose to put as much as the man is suppose to?

whose responsibilty is it solely, is the wedding cost solely on the guy or should be split equally?

then who takes responsiblity for what if it is to be split equally i.e halls, feeding, dresses, cake rings e.t.c

thanks

it should be split equally. Times have changed! Women stop living in the past.

^^^abeegyy the man should pay for everything jare,i don tire for d whole female liberation thing,i want to be taken care of and pampered completely for once

My dear is ur responsibility, if she is working class and want to contribute it have to be voluntary effort pls. Never u say this is ur share oooo, except u are not man enough.

"man enough" - dumb argument.

tjskii:

^^^abeegyy the man should pay for everything jare,i don tire for d whole female liberation thing,i want to be taken care of and pampered completely for once

You want to be taken care of and be pampered? What difference does that make? Nothing. This is my problem with women. They never seem to stick to one thing.

Later you complain that men dominate women. shior
;-)

otokx:

"man enough" - dumb argument.

thank u sir

STACYM:

My dear is your responsibility, if she is working class and want to contribute it have to be voluntary effort pls. Never u say this is your share oooo, except u are not man enough.

@STACYM, na God go punish you for this thing wey you talk so.

A man who thinks he's old enough and ready to get married should at least have enough money in his pocket to do the wedding. It's his primary responsibility. If the wife decides to help, fine! But it's a favour, not a duty!

inky u delivered for me ,wwell done
i don c y some pips stiil liv in gorilla days , help out d bruda ,
wen he goes bankrupt dats wen how i wish , wot if statements wud strt coming out dier blank head
no offence

In Yorubaland the women pay for the whole wedding. . They are gaining a stallion in their family so they gats to pay. . That is how it should be, afterall the men take care of these women and they plenty pickins for the rest of his life. So a wedding bailout package is a good thing to welcome the man into lifetime of suffering, bondage and spending billions.

Ujujoan:

A man who thinks he's old enough and ready to get married should at least have enough money in his pocket to do the wedding. It's his primary responsibility. If the wife decides to help, fine! But it's a favour, not a duty!

Says which law or which culture? Being old enough does not automatically=having money in your pocket. Life is not fair sometimes, my sister. Have you ever heard of the phrase 'being in one's poverty days'?

Life is like a merry-go-round. You might be broke today and be rolling in wealth tomorrow.

I'm not advocating that a man should be lazy and visionless. Dont get me wrong.

^^^^ I'm not getting u wrong bruv but obviously you are not getting me right!

It's not as much about the money as it is about responsibility. Nobody says it has to be the wedding of the century. All he needs to do is to cut his coat according to his size. Marriage is a big responsibility and if a man can't do his wedding without the help of his wife then how is he oing to take charge of the family

This is why many girls are single even at an old age. We meet men that are in love and do not get married because the man can not foot the wedding bill.
The next step is we start dating older men that have made it but are married.
In this time we the young boys are men and have made it, but guess what? They can now afford a wedding and call the shots.
The are certainly not going to marry the women that rejected them then. The mostly look for young blood and get married.
Now imagine a man going into a marriage with this feeling at the back of his mind that the girl only married him because he can afford it, he certainly is going to demand full submission from this woman and even treat her harshly. This is because women have given him the impression that he is nothing without money.
Footing the wedding should not be an issue. Who has more should contribute more. So what if we both can´t afford it. Why not just get married low keyed and set up a home. Years later wen the money starts flowing in one can renew the vows or do the anniversary in a big way.
I do not know why everyone in Nigeria wants to do a society wedding.

petroy:

@STACYM, na God go punish you for this thing wey you talk so.

is this ur own contribution? God bless u jareee

Split it down the middle or better yet, let the woman foot the wedding
Afterall with una women's liberation thingy, you can do as much or better than a man.

On average, weddings and anniversaries are for the benefit and enjoyment of the woman. She might as well pay for it.

Ujujoan:

Marriage is a big responsibility and if a man can't do his wedding without the help of his wife then how is he going to take charge of the family

OH!

So in this case, it is now OK for a man to be in charge of the family

Some of you nairaland women are confused. You scream equality but then you also want to be the weaker sex when it pays you.

deniyor:

Split it down the middle or better yet, let the woman foot the wedding
Afterall with una women's liberation thingy, you can do as much or better than a man.

On average, weddings and anniversaries are for the benefit and enjoyment of the woman. She might as well pay for it.

Ujujoan:

^^^^ I'm not getting u wrong bruv but obviously you are not getting me right!

It's not as much about the money as it is about responsibility. Nobody says it has to be the wedding of the century. All he needs to do is to cut his coat according to his size. Marriage is a big responsibility and if a man can't do his wedding without the help of his wife then how is he oing to take charge of the family

Cut his coat according to his size, while you watch and sip lemonade.

Marriage and all that comes with it is a responsibility which cuts both ways. A man should not throw himself off a cliff because he wants to get married. A woman should provide for half of that cost and stress.

I'm glad a large chunk of woman, like[b] Inked nerd[/b], are not buying into this idea of yours. I might be considering joining the priesthood.

This is the 21st century for pete's sake! Wake up.

The wife is not obliged to put a dime. But it varies in different cultures and tribes

Where I come from, the man foots the bills from day1 to the last day.

I do not see anything wrong with both couples sharing in the responsibilities of the wedding as we would share the same in house hold expenses. In the past , the woman's side fits most if not all the bill for the wedding here in the United States. Times have changed and you do not see this as much anymore.

Listen guys, I'm all for shared responsibilities and all that, but we all know that's not gonna fly. . . Not in our society!

In the end, the man is the head and the leader ordained by God. So how come he's the leader when I get to contribute equally

If I get to pay for my own wedding, then I get to be in charge . . Simple!

STACYM:

is this your own contribution? God bless u jareee

@STACYM, none vex, na body dey scratch me that time.

My opinion,
Whn it comes to the issue of rights- we r not equal
When it comes to making decisions - we r not equal
When it comes to the issue of finance or expenses- we r not equal
So when it comes to the issue of wedding costs - we cant be equal.
Fine according to western life we are trying to follow, men & women are equal all the way and can share equal responsibilities but when it comes to Africa, we have to respect our men and give them chance to be the head so we cant share everything equally.
I can contribute to the wedding cost just to assist him but not that the sharing should be equal.

Just reading thru d previous posts n cant stop laughing @ how some ladies can b inconsiderate eventhough i v strongly opposed equal sharing. Ladies should embrace d fact dat time has changed.
They must realised dat d era of men carrying everything especially when d man is still struggling is fading into oblivion just as d era of having full time housewives.
Anyway its d ladies' world

^ abi o , haba are we seying dey shud share bride price money payments , we are only talking about d ariya(ceremony ) cost ooo

I dont think bride price n stuffs like dat should b shared.

^ exactly wot i jus sed some people are carrying on as if dats wot we are telling dem to share wiv d groom

Ok. @id i posted a topic some days ago about "family funding &wives". Will like 2 v your comment on it ma.