piroux:
Is this story even real? Why so much desperation and neediness?
Why can't you stay by yourself? Why must you be with a man?
If you are financially secure enough, why go back to anyone?

Please and please, stay by yourself, even for a while. Test yourself and see if you won't cope. Let your children see you sustain yourself.
I feel like you don't think too much of yourself hence the reason why you take so much crap from men and keep compromising.
You want to decide between a drunkard and an abuser? Seriously?
What kind of example of strength and womanhood are you setting up for your children?
Is it until one of them starts sexually abusing your children that you will react?

Aunty Friend, please do better.

LilMissFavvy:
To those who are telling her to stay on her own, did you ask of her age? You think it's that easy, besides if she was a type who can stay on her own, she would not have kids for three different men. Let her go back to her last husband, but should be watchful so that he does not abuse his kids sexually. She should make him promise that he will provide and treat her/kids better. If she thinks her husband can love kids fathered by different men like his own children, then she's a joke. If she wants to take the advice of staying on her own, I can only advice her to watch out, so that she does not become baby mama to husband number-four.

dake40:


I never wanted to reply you but I won't forgive myself if I don't.


You are wrong with all you wrote above. Your response shows you have an average African mentality. Must a woman live with man?

You mentioned about her age, please, how does that affect the situation on ground?. If marriage does not work for you then you slide out. What's the purpose of being in a marriage when you don't have rest of mind?

She has children already and a job at hand and she can focus on her children.

.....

@OP, your friend needs a break for now. She can live without any man for some time. Let her keep away from both ex and focus on her job and children. We have cases of similar issues and the women in question doing well without men.


If she wants to live long, tell her to skip any relationship for now and focus on her job and children.

sisisioge:


How strangely we love to orchestrate our lives. Please tell her not to go back...let her work to provide for her kids and also get each of the kid's father to provide for them. Issue resolved.

Katier00:
Any story that starts with my friend has a problem, becomes a huge turn off for me

poweredcom:
Dis kind story na wa o

[b]Hiv people giving birth wait won't the kids be also hiv [/b]gOOGLE WILL HELP YOU

Cos dis matter is too bad oo marrying here and there shows she need a serious help oo

LilMissFavvy:
I wrote my response carefully, bearing in mind that the said lady is HIV positive, tho I didn't want to mention it so that it does not look like discrimination. You don't see the need I talked about age? In Case you don't know, the younger a lady is, the harder it will be for her to remain single, how about her sexual needs? If she is 35yrs, do you think she can live alone without needing the company of a man for the rest of her life? Even if she's 40, she may still not be able to cope. Besides, reading about her early life, you did see her moving from man to man. women are different. Some are strong to live without a man, but others are unable to cope. The narration of her lifestyle shows she's a type who can't live without a man, (take a look at her having kids, marrying, leaving the marriage and getting married immediately to another man, hmm) so it's better she sticks to one. Let her chose from one of the men she married or had children for, and stick to him, that's my point.

dake40:


Let me school you a little bit.

Women who think they can't do without men (to survive) in this generation don't go far in life.

With her current situation of 2 kids, I'm convinced most men won't want to take care of kids that ain't theirs. I'm a man and I'm telling you the fact. What guarantees her 1st or second husband won't repeat what they did that made her pack out if she returns to any of them ?

Perhaps you are still young and you think every woman needs a man, you are very wrong dear.

On the impressions that she might be old or would need someone to oil her engine, if that's what she craves for at this moment in her life, then she's very stupid (I mean very stupid).


In a situation like this, I expect the woman in question to draw lines between herself and any relationship. She should focus on her children and her job. With time, the right man will fall in

dake40:
I never wanted to reply you but I won't forgive myself if I don't.


You are wrong with all you wrote above. Your response shows you have an average African mentality. Must a woman live with man?

You mentioned about her age, please, how does that affect the situation on ground?. If marriage does not work for you then you slide out. What's the purpose of being in a marriage when you don't have rest of mind?

She has children already and a job at hand and she can focus on her children.

.....

@OP, your friend needs a break for now. She can live without any man for some time. Let her keep away from both ex and focus on her job and children. We have cases of similar issues and the women in question doing well without men.

If she wants to live long, tell her to skip any relationship for now and focus on her job and children.

menbewisetoday:
Can a HIV positive man father children who are negative?

LilMissFavvy:
''women who think they can't do without a man in this generation (to survive) don't go far in life''...... Are you supposed to preach that to me? Like I don't know that already, smh! Let her go back to see if it can get better thats my point, so that she won't end up with a fourth man. Her type cannot stay without a man, read her post and you will see it. No harm in her trying again, rather than stay single for a while, and in less than a year she's in search of another man. If you ain't okay with my opinion, drop yours and move on.

udumosam23:
Life is strange. She got kids, she is even positive. Yet she got suitors to marry. Some people Sha get favor.

Madam, go back to your husband. Get a Job to take care of your kids. Those telling you to shun men are only bitter because none is forth coming.

dake40:


I'm not here to preach to you. From your replies, you kept mentioning "staying with men". If you truly know a woman can live without man, your response should have shown that..

If She should return to one of her ex like you have suggested, I pray she doesn't find her death from men because she can't stay without them.

And if you find my quotes annoying , I'm sorry, I just have to reply because Nairaland is a popular forum and lots of people (who are in similar situations) are reading this thread.

Cheers

LilMissFavvy:
To those who are telling her to stay on her own, did you ask of her age? You think it's that easy, besides if she was a type who can stay on her own, she would not have kids for three different men. Let her go back to her last husband, but should be watchful so that he does not abuse his kids sexually. She should make him promise that he will provide and treat her/kids better. If she thinks her husband can love kids fathered by different men like his own children, then she's a joke. If she wants to take the advice of staying on her own, I can only advice her to watch out, so that she does not become baby mama to husband number-four.

dake40:
Did you read the post at all?. She already has a job. And which husband is she going to?. The one who called her kid bastard?

Nigerians will never learn.

anonimi:


............to read and understand before rushing like Russians as if in a competition to comment.
Thanks.
I wonder how we can change or what can make us change