It has been a month ago, my wife cousin sister 18 years of age, came for a visit , since then I notice that our romantic lifestyle had change. My wife can't sit close to me nor touch me in the presence of her cousin, . she feel uncomfortable when i do .our bathing together stopped. But then my wife will always want her cousin to be around when she is undressing and dressing especially in the morning thus replacing me.. Or wait for one another in order to dress together .... Many time she do expose herself in her presence and adjust when she notice my presence... Although , I have talked to her, but still the same, ...
Pls is it normal? Your advice ,, thanks

Guess your wife is using her cousin as cover up. Be a man enough and relax till your visitor leaves

Keep calm
It's only for a little while

I am not happy when people say things like "wait", "keep calm", in situations like this.

Whether you choose to accept it or not, a marriage would blossom better and faster when both partners put each other first in everything.
When things like this get tolerated they become full blown problems, and it usually gets harder to resolve .

I once read a post here were madam refused to allow Oga do "strong thing" in the other room, because her mother always complains that they are loud and embarrassing her.The house belongs to you and your spouse, not anyone else.

Sir, she is your wife, regardless of who is there.

Please Sir, have a conversation with your wife.I don't understand why Nigerians don't understand boundaries, what is she(the cousin) doing in your bedroom ?

She is not even your wife's direct sister...cousin sister ?. Even if she is your wife's immediate sister, she should not be in your bedroom for any reason, couples should please see this region as their "sacred place", its a forbidden zone for both of you alone !.
Call me old school, but only your kids should have access to your bedroom, and it should be highly restricted, "once in a while" and monitored access.

That being said, I don't understand why your wife ALWAYS wants her cousin to be there when she is dressing and undressing !. Then she covers up on noticing your presence ?. Something is off, I may be wrong but something is off.

The most confusing is the issue of both of you no longer bathing together, I don't get it, is the cousin there when you are bathing together ?

Are you sure, I mean very sure she is your wife's cousin ?
I hope its not what I am thinking.

From what I can deduce, its either you stay in a very small apartment(no offense intended) and your wife is just being extremely and awkwardly shy(the fact that she dresses in front of your cousin kind of rules out shyness) OR something very unthinkable is going on .

Please answer my question about how confident you are that she is actually her cousin.....


I don't mean to scare you, but its not normal at all

If there is nothing "unthinkable" happening, probably you have been trying to resolve the issue the wrong way. Don't try to make her change or adjust with the attitude, instead ask her WHY she is acting the way she is. Asking and knowing why makes it easier to resolve.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but whichever way you try to look at it, the cousin has over stayed her welcome. Anything that threatens romance and closeness between couples should be resolved with immediate effect, it should never be managed.

[quote author=Donald3d post=81677320]I am not happy when people say things like "wait", "keep calm", in situations like this.

Whether you choose to accept it or not, a marriage would blossom better and faster when both partners put each other first in everything.
When things like this get tolerated they become full blown problems, and it usually gets harder to resolve .

I once read a post here were madam refused to allow Oga do "strong thing" in the other room, because her mother always complains that they are loud and embarrassing her.The house belongs to you and your spouse, not anyone else.

Sir, she is your wife, regardless of who is there.

Please Sir, have a conversation with your wife.I don't understand why Nigerians don't understand boundaries, what is she(the cousin) doing in your bedroom ?

She is not even your wife's direct sister...cousin sister ?. Even if she is your wife's immediate sister, she should not be in your bedroom for any reason, couples should please see this region as their "sacred place", its a forbidden zone for both of you alone !.
Call me old school, but only your kids should have access to your bedroom, and it should be highly restricted, "once in a while" and monitored access.

That being said, I don't understand why your wife ALWAYS wants her cousin to be there when she is dressing and undressing !. Then she covers up on noticing your presence ?. Something is off, I may be wrong but something is off.

The most confusing is the issue of both of you no longer bathing together, I don't get it, is the cousin there when you are bathing together ?

Are you sure, I mean very sure she is your wife's cousin ?
I hope its not what I am thinking.

From what I can deduce, its either you stay in a very small apartment(no offense intended) and your wife is just being extremely and awkwardly shy(the fact that she dresses in front of your cousin kind of rules out shyness) OR something very unthinkable is going on .

Please answer my question about how confident you are that she is actually her cousin.....


I don't mean to scare you, but its not normal at all

If there is nothing "unthinkable" happening, probably you have been trying to resolve the issue the wrong way. Don't try to make her change or adjust with the attitude, instead ask her WHY she is acting the way she is. Asking and knowing why makes it easier to resolve.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but whichever way you try to look at it, the cousin has over stayed her welcome. Anything that threatens romance and closeness between couples should be resolved with immediate effect, it should never be managed.[/quo


She is actually my wife cousin and we live in a small apartment but this cousin of hers already have 3 yes old child gotten through unwanted pregnancy

She doesn't want to corrupt her 18 year old cousin with things adults do (though technically the cousin is an adult too, but she's a young adult).
I'm not sure what the issue is you can't bathe together for a couple of weeks. That shouldn't affect your marriage negatively unless the marriage was never strong anyway.

yeyeosoronga:
She doesn't want to corrupt her 18 year old cousin with things adults do (though technically the cousin is an adult too, but she's a young adult).
I'm not sure what the issue is you can't bathe together for a couple of weeks. That shouldn't affect your marriage negatively unless the marriage was never strong anyway.

The 18 year old cousin has a 3 year old child, she's seen it all.

Very wild conjecture. Act on it at your own peril.

But your wife might be a lesbian...bi-curious, perhaps. She might have had some unholy explorations with this cousin of hers. Maybe they've started where they left off.