Good evening Great Nlanders,

Got talking with a friend who after having serial relationship failure in the past finally thinks he has found his soul mate, the snag is that she turned out to be a distant cousin, a second cousin precisely (Daughter to his Dad's Cousin) they met for the first time in about 21 years of not knowing each other at a family function and both connected deeply to later learn to each others surprise that they are cousins.

Now, my guy is not happy, thinks If he is well advised he can negotiate the Yoruba non-cousin marriage culture conundrum.

Experienced people in the house, please what is the chance of them marrying and if there is a chance what step should be advised to take to negotiate the family/culture barricade?

Let's all help save a future happy marriage and learn from each other as well.

Thanks all.

Let him tell it to his family. There lies the answers he needs, not the validation he wishes to get from here


I wonder why danger and what would kill men always attract men. Smh. So despite all single females on earth, its only your cousin, your guy can find as a good wife. Oma she o.

Yoruba culture doesn’t support it. It is a sacrilege

If it is an English culture, it can happen.

There is no need negotiating with the families. The lady isn’t the only female on earth neither is the man.

They can always find better suitors for themselves.

JasonScoolari:
Dear Op,


With the title of your thread, I think you're trying to tell us you only need a YORUBA adviser.

Yes, cos it is a Yoruba culture and only the Yoruba people can have in-depth knowledge on it

Tolexander:
Yes, cos it is a Yoruba culture and only the Yoruba people can have in-depth knowledge on it

Fair enough.

Thanks all. Let's keep it coming.

Abomination!!!

People will just be shouting Abomination , Abomination.

When you ask them why they will say " well, its not a part of our culture."

Ask them why it isn't ? If there is any scientific or hkstorical reason to back up their claim , they will be looking at you like epa and finally
conclude you ask too many questions.


Apparently, it is called inbreeding in science
marrying a close relative.


Off google:

First cousins who marry run twice the risk of having a child with genetic abnormalities, according to a previous Health24 article.

Now a new study suggests that children born to parents who are cousins have a significant risk for developing a mood disorder – such as depression or anxiety.

Now,for the cultural aspect, I'll advice you go to an elder you respect and confide in him or her. If they are not too sure about this type of issue in YOUR VILLAGE they can help find out on your behalf or talk to tier elders about it.

Is the advice for you or your 'friend?'

Yoruba culture and lots of taboo.

Sometimes it's hard spotting the logic in those taboos and superstitions but one still have to believe and adhere to them anyway.

My mum is Yoruba. As much as I love the Yoruba culture, one of the things I despise about it is this tradition of cousins not been able to marry eachother, yet a child is allowed to marry his dad's youngest wife. a woman your dad has married is your step mother, marrying such is like marrying your mum. It's disgusting.
Well, here in the north, marrying cousins is not only allowed but it's a tradition.

It depends on how distant the cousin is, particularly from father's side; mother's side may have lesser issues?

In those days, some Yoruba Kings and important persons married their cousins from another family or kingdoms to maintain Royal bloodlines. The Fulanis and some others even marry their first cousins but Yorùbás frown at this because it could lead to health challenges.

In your own case, confide in your close family members, like Dad, Mum, Uncle, etc and I will advise you to take their advice.
It also depends on how her family will take it.

I had attended wedding where one is related to both husband and wife; one would not even know the side to sit. I have also seen a prince that impregnated his Oba father's step sister's daughter and he was allowed to marry her till today. Please don't try to cut cunners o! You should be ready to let go of her if families said no to it.