HOW TO START UP A CHURCH
Starting up a church or a school has been the major trend for a while now, people start up church at the slightest opportunity; a new church just started two blocks away from my house with very few white chairs and a make shift pulpit all in a small shop. Many chu8rches have been highly successful without a call from God because these days they don’t need a call from God when you can easily ordain yourself...




I am going to give you techniques in other for you to have a growing church; I noticed some church have been suffering slow growth while some others are growing quite well; some even end up quitting the church business since its not working, if only they knew the right step to take... today I will guide you through the steps in order to have a congregation like Lord’s Chosen or RCCG or COZA without a call from God... are you frustrated in your church business? I have answers here; you can get rich being a pastor while you bury your members in ignorance




LEVEL OF KNOWLEDGE: You first need to understand the one thing Christianity is all about... THE BIBLE... although many pastors today do not understand the bible but they know the bible; know the bible to a convincing stage. You can attend a bible college so as to boost your fame and association...



IMAGINE THAT GOD CALLED YOU: Afterall you just want to glorify God... set the impression that God called you; how do you do that? Always mutter words while walking, carry a bible, learn your own tongues and have a trade mark tongue that will excite people when you speak it



GET A PLACE: Get a small place where you arrange chairs for prayer meeting; I advice that you make sure that you can shout and jump with energy, blast in tongues and feed your young members with prayers. Do diplomatic prophecies and visions, do not be direct about them just beat around the bush and end up saying nothing reasonable; don’t worry they wont notice because they are too dumb to notice. Before you know it, people will invest in your ministry and you can finally see food to eat



SOWING SEED AND TITHING IS NECESSARY: Never you!!! I repeat!!! Never you forget to stress on tithing, with your level of knowledge you should be able to threaten them with the word of God, threaten them with curses from God if they fail to pay tithe, threaten them with failure, make sure they have nightmares any time they fail to pay tithe, use energy when talking about it. Tell them to sow seed, do not advice them to, tell them it is a must in other order to gain extra or bonus blessings, out of greed they will believe you and be quick to sow; know how to prolong messages on Malachi 3; avoid places in the bible that will contracdict your teachings



THE “GOD” TERM: Always remember to back up your words with “God said”... when you make a request from members always say “God said” before the request, trust me it works like magic... with that word “God said” you can own houses, cars that you know you don’t deserve. Do not be afraid, they won’t know that God never said anything because they are too dumb to be smart... just in case of stubborn ones that come around later to confront you that the blessing is you said was coming has not come, just tell them “God’s time is the best”



AVOID INTELLIGENT MEMBERS: At some point some smart people may come around your ministry, they usually ask intelligent questions and quotes scriptures that speak the bitter truth. I advice you rebuke them immediately and chase them away from your church before they pour sand in your garri... your members will continue to grow as you continue to give them the reassuring lies; avoid the bitter truth, put it far from your members, make them know that the bitter truth are lies from the devil and make sure you establish your own doctrine



FEED THEM WITH PRAYERS: People will flock a place once they see the prayer is hot and people are falling and rolling on the ground. They usually believe that that kind of church is where their blessing is located... the prayers doesn't have to be meaningful, all it needs is to have “Holy ghost” attached. Take for example, Holy ghost fire gather all my money before I reach my house today, in Jesus name... make sure you sweat and speak in tongues, you can hire people to fall under anointing while you pray but most times that wouldn’t be necessary because there will always be those who will deliberately fall under anointing so as to help God


ADVANCED SERMON: Make sure you seriously plan your sermon to your own advantage, be manipulative with words and energetic, you can also learn to be fluent in English, that is an advantage too


THE MUSIC POWER: This is an advanced stage and the most trending; make sure you are also investing in the music and sound department because you don’t want to leave the youths out; your money is in their pocket too. At this stage you can convince members to invest in the music department, tell them about how God loved David because of praises. You won’t need to use your offering and tithe, the members will buy it all and still continue to be faithful in tithe... make sure you get professional instrumentalists, the choir girls must be attractive and so must the guys and make sure they are all youths, no old women in the choir; we don’t off keys... the better the music the more the members, make sure you organise praise nights and worship concerts and don’t you ever leave out the offering part.


WITH THESE TIPS YOU STAND A CHANCE OF BEING A WORLD FAMOUS APOSTLE, BISHOP, PROPHET, GENERAL OVERSEER OR WHICH EVER TITLE YOU CHOOSE TO CROWN YOURSELF WITH...

Don’t worry, they will still fall after reading all these, so you have nothing to worry about... *winks*

By the way, I am not an atheist... I am an Ambassador of the root of David... stay blessed...

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na wa!
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"Avoid intelligent members" That is the most important point.

Lalasticlala come move this sarcastic post to front page

Uyaiincomparabl lefulefu sisterfire rekhina blackivy29 nwaamaikpe iamd18 Seun

IamPlato:
Uyaiincomparabl lefulefu sisterfire rekhina blackivy29 nwaamaikpe iamd18 Seun

Iamplato, im atheist.

Blackivy29:
Iamplato, im atheist.

lol... Seriously?

IamPlato:
lol... Seriously?

yes.

I just read the thread. Lolz. Are you a christian?

Sadly this is the way we see the gospel now, as a business, a mere money making venture not minding the billions of souls going to hell. So very sad.

IamPlato:
Uyaiincomparabl lefulefu sisterfire rekhina blackivy29 nwaamaikpe iamd18 Seun

Stop mentioning me unnecessarily, please.

judedwriter:
Sadly this is the way we see the gospel now, as a business, a mere money making venture not minding the billions of souls going to hell. So very sad.

You and who see the Gospel as a business? I'm sure the millions who troop to Church on Sunday aren't selling anything.

When op said, "Avoid intelligent members", do some think he meant, "avoid being intelligent"? I can't see how intelligent people end up members in the church he's created here.

Is it a crime for him to like fine girl

UyaiIncomparabl:


Stop mentioning me unnecessarily, please.

Only if it were that easy

CaptainMitch:
Is it a crime for him to like fine girl

Nwanyi ocham

UyaiIncomparabl:

keep saying " God said"

UyaiIncomparabl:


Stop mentioning me unnecessarily, please.

is like you are mad abi

Blackivy29:
yes.

is that so Lucifer

Blackivy29:
I just read the thread. Lolz. Are you a christian?

yes

CaptainMitch:
Is it a crime for him to like fine girl

take your love techniques out of here... Never said I liked her... She knows why I am tagging her along

Do you hate her?

IamPlato:
take your love techniques out of here... Never said I liked her... She knows why I am tagging her along

IamPlato:
yes

okay dear.

CaptainMitch:
Do you hate her?

I Dont Hate Her Neither Do I Like Her The Way you Are Thinking

Blackivy29:
okay dear.

How Did You End Up An Atheist

You sure

IamPlato:
I Dont Hate Her Neither Do I Like Her The Way you Are Thinking

IamPlato:
How Did You End Up An Atheist

stopped believing in some guy in the sky. No offence intended.

Blackivy29:
stopped believing in some guy in the sky. No offence intended.

I just took a deep breath after reading this

IamPlato:
I just took a deep breath after reading this

its been too long. Breathout now!

Blackivy29:
its been too long. Breathout now!

what was the motivation to take that bold step

IamPlato:
what was the motivation to take that bold step

i didnt just do it. Reality i guess. Made me think twice.