I married my wife knowing quite well she's not a fantastic cook but i thought when we get married and she does the cooking more often she will improve but i was wrong as it becomes worsefrom bad everyday. its of either the soupy is tasteless or watery or the semo is like pap sweetended with plenty sugar, rice mostly saltless, beans- dnt even go there. Any time i make complains she takes offence and say i dnt appreciate her effort but the most painfully aspect is that i hadly want to eat outside the home, so whatever she serves me as dinner when i get home from work happens to be the only meal i have in a day which ends up being pathetic most times, though am already toying with the idea of having me fill before going home but i dnt really want to do that for the sake of jeopardizing my home and my pocket. pls what do i do.

1moment:

I married my wife knowing quite well she's not a fantastic cook but i thought when we get married and she does the cooking more often she will improve but i was wrong as it becomes worsefrom bad everyday. its of either the soupy is tasteless or watery or the semo is like pap sweetended with plenty sugar, rice mostly saltless, beans- dnt even go there. Any time i make complains she takes offence and say i dnt appreciate her effort but the most painfully aspect is that i hadly want to eat outside the home, so whatever she serves me as dinner when i get home from work happens to be the only meal i have in a day which ends up being pathetic most times, though am already toying with the idea of having me fill before going home but i dnt really want to do that for the sake of jeopardizing my home and my pocket. pls what do i do.

she is your wife teach her, you know what you want and how you want it so teach her if you know to cook those recipes

1moment:

I married my wife knowing quite well she's not a fantastic cook but i thought when we get married and she does the cooking more often she will improve but i was wrong as it becomes worsefrom bad everyday. its of either the soupy is tasteless or watery or the semo is like pap sweetended with plenty sugar, rice mostly saltless, beans- dnt even go there. Any time i make complains she takes offence and say i dnt appreciate her effort but the most painfully aspect is that i hadly want to eat outside the home, so whatever she serves me as dinner when i get home from work happens to be the only meal i have in a day which ends up being pathetic most times, though am already toying with the idea of having me fill before going home but i dnt really want to do that for the sake of jeopardizing my home and my pocket. pls what do i do.

If you can cook teach her, then if you can't cook employ a professional cook to teach her with time she will learn and everything will fall into place

...

rubi:

If you can cook teach her, then if you can't cook employ a professional cook to teach her with time she will learn and everything will fall into place

I just pray she isnt obstinate. She'l learn when you apply the above.

Thank u all for ur advice, i can not really judge my own cooking bt i know its nt bad, she also agree my coking is ok, but the problem is that she doesnt accept anything is wrong with her cooking she probably thinks am just being over demanding, i cringe when we have friends come over and we offer have to offer them food. its not up to a year since we wedded and am already feeling starved of good food in my home, i wonder for i long i can continue holding on. we are of same tribe

...

I tink u shuld sit down wit her & discuss dis issue gently. For her not accepting her faults is a defence mechanism she is using 2 hide wat she truly feels. We all kno dat in dis part of d world its a given dat women must kno how 2 cook & im sure she knows dat & must b feeling inadequate herself without u telling her. Try 2 b patient wit her & tell her dat u r willing 2 aid her in anyway possible. Also always remind her dat she can ovacum dis if she puts her mind 2 it & dat despite all u still luv her. Dis wuld give her low self esteem a boost & she wuld b willing 2 do anything 2 pls u.

It's not s much of a problem to me, cos there is a solution.

U can teach her or you send her to a catering school.

I know of a man that did this and today the wife earns millions from her catering business.

You can equally do it.

1moment:

Thank u all for your advice, i can not really judge my own cooking bt i know its nt bad, she also agree my coking is ok, but the problem is that she doesnt accept anything is wrong with her cooking she probably thinks am just being over demanding, i cringe when we have friends come over and we offer have to offer them food. its not up to a year since we wedded and am already feeling starved of good food in my home, i wonder for i long i can continue holding on. we are of same tribe

You've gotten great advise so far on this thread. Your problem is fixable - atleast you're not being starved of sex. It's only food. She can learn. Be gentle

Bad cook as gf = Bad cook as wife.
Remember the first time she cooked for you, you smiled and told her it was delicious. Just because of what you wanted then. Now that you hv what you wanted and you are married to her, you better keep telling her it is fantacious. No need to be truthful now if you started with a lie. Don't worry, you will get used to her cooking over the years. Good luck.

A stitch in time saves nine.

When I was young and dumb, I used to think I a man needed one of three things from a woman to be happy.
Good food   OR   Good sx    OR    Good Looks.

My ex could not cook, and as we fought she became lousy at the other things.  If she could have only cooked, I would have been happy.

Now that I am older and remarried.  I am different and learned there is so much more to being happy.  Now I know it really does not matter is she can cook or not.  In fact she can't, and I do not really care.  I just cook myself,  besides I think most of the great chefs are men.

Great thing about cooking yourself, is that you can make things the way you like.  If anyone complains, tell them that it is their problem.  I've told my wife to get lost a few times she complained.  I love being a Man.

1 moment, I congratulate you for being very patient with your wife. Please keep it up. There is no doubt that you love her. Coolabbie touched on the root cause of your wife's attitude when you try to correct her cooking. She will naturally feel inadequate & try to prove you wrong. So far you have handled the matter very maturedly. She can go for cookery lessons privately, or go to a Catering School. The Catering School will benefit her more as she can set up a business with that. Talk to her politely, & lovingly, assuring her that the situation has not in any way changed your love for her. I believe she will come around & cooperate with you. Good luck.

You knew she was a lousy cook before you married her so just bear with her. Its either you teach her or employ someone who can and stop bad mouthing your wife's cooking. I personally dont subscribe to your coming to a public forum to say that she is a lousy cook please stop it. This is your wife we are talking about here. How would you feel if your wife comes online and says my husband is a lousy lover you would start to scream. Get a grip of yourself

@poster you were well aware of her abysmal culinary skills ab initio yet you went ahead to tie the knot, hoping that somehow it'll get berra? How exactly? like someone asked, do you intend to send her for training?

Sorry broo, but that was mighty naive of you.

She's obviously not a baby, i.e she most likely has been cooking like that for sometime, and unless practical steps are taken to help her improve, she wont, or as you observed, it may actually get worse.

All the best sha.

She is your wife, not a cook. If you need a cook hire a cook. Let her do other things.

for the sake of love and not having a broken home, maybe u can enroll her in a cooking school ok

1moment:

I married my wife knowing quite well she's not a fantastic cook but i thought when we get married and she does the cooking more often she will improve but i was wrong as it becomes worsefrom bad everyday. its of either the soupy is tasteless or watery or the semo is like pap sweetended with plenty sugar, rice mostly saltless, beans- dnt even go there. Any time i make complains she takes offence and say i dnt appreciate her effort but the most painfully aspect is that i hadly want to eat outside the home, so whatever she serves me as dinner when i get home from work happens to be the only meal i have in a day which ends up being pathetic most times, though am already toying with the idea of having me fill before going home but i dnt really want to do that for the sake of jeopardizing my home and my pocket. pls what do i do.

Than shut up please and deal with it!

^^ He said the woman doesn't see anything wrong with her cooking and she will get upset at him suggesting that.

regarding hiring a cook. what if he cannot afford one?

Seun:

She is your wife, not a cook. If you need a cook hire a cook. Let her do other things.

haba a wife should be able to cook a good meal now? _{a cook will be wonderful if you can afford it.}

1moment:

I married my wife knowing quite well she's not a fantastic cook but i thought when we get married and she does the cooking more often she will improve but i was wrong as it becomes worsefrom bad everyday. its of either the soupy is tasteless or watery or the semo is like pap sweetended with plenty sugar, rice mostly saltless, beans- dnt even go there. Any time i make complains she takes offence and say i dnt appreciate her effort but the most painfully aspect is that i hadly want to eat outside the home, so whatever she serves me as dinner when i get home from work happens to be the only meal i have in a day which ends up being pathetic most times, though am already toying with the idea of having me fill before going home but i dnt really want to do that for the sake of jeopardizing my home and my pocket. pls what do i do.

You already knew she wasnt a fantastic cook,you can only expect fantastic meals if she can agree to learn.Try suggest one to her.

get on your knees and ask God to teach your wife how to cook. could be a spiritual problem.

I married my wife knowing quite well she's not a fantastic cook but i thought when we get married and she does

the cooking more often she will improve but i was wrong as it becomes worsefrom bad everyday. its of either the soupy is tasteless or watery or the semo is like pap sweetended with plenty sugar, rice mostly saltless, beans- dnt even go there. Any time i make complains she takes offence and say i dnt appreciate her effort but the most painfully aspect is that i hadly want to eat outside the home, so whatever she serves me as dinner when i get home from work happens to be the only meal i have in a day which ends up being pathetic most times, though am already toying with the idea of having me fill before going home but i dnt really want to do that for the sake of jeopardizing my home and my pocket. pls what do i do.

You can teach her what you want or get her a kind of training session where she can learn cooking more better, she is your wife you need to help her so that your family will going on well and be happy. God bless.

teach her to cook, encourage her to enroll in public school, [size=14pt]cook together[/size], observe her cook and correct her etc etc

So many things you can do - or take some time out and cook for yourself too - she can watch you do that too.

Good job with patience though - thats very rare in 9ja men. There's more to love and marriage that what goes on in the kitchen. Its an important part, but not everything.

@ OP -

As you identified this problem early on, you should have had a strategy in place to improve her cooking after the marriage. If you have family (sisters/ aunties), they are usually a good resource for your wife to use to improve her cooking - as long as the wife does not have an ego regarding this issue, and as long as your family will be humble in teaching her. Failing that, you can send her to cookery lesson, or teach her yourself (if you are good at it)

But the main question is - Does you wife agree that she is a bad cook?And is she willing to learn? If she does not accept there is a problem, then it will be difficult to find a solution. Also, most women are quite sensitive to any criticism of their food, so try something called a "Praise Sandwich". It a technique often used in management or teaching. Basically, it is 2 layers or praise divided by a layer of criticism.
So try something like this - "Darling, thanks so much for the effort you put into cooking this food for me. Its really nice. Please put a little more salt in it for me next time. I really enjoyed it." Seal this sentence with a kiss, and finish with "love you lots".

Give it a try;  you got nothing to lose.

enroll her in cooking school.

practice positive reinforcement.

even if the cooking is bad, smile and say it's good [which is actually what you did before].

if you can cook, then do it yourself without castigating her.

Romeo4real:

@ OP -

As you identified this problem early on, you should have had a strategy in place to improve her cooking after the marriage. If you have family (sisters/ aunties), they are usually a good resource for your wife to use to improve her cooking - as long as the wife does not have an ego regarding this issue, and as long as your family will be humble in teaching her. Failing that, you can send her to cookery lesson, or teach her yourself (if you are good at it)

But the main question is - Does you wife agree that she is a bad cook?And is she willing to learn? If she does not accept there is a problem, then it will be difficult to find a solution. Also, most women are quite sensitive to any criticism of their food, so try something called a "Praise Sandwich. It a technique often used in management or teaching. Basically, it is 2 layers or praise divided by a layer of criticism.
So try something like this - "Darling, thanks so much for the effort you put into cooking this food for me. Its really nice. Please put a little more salt in it for me next time. I really enjoyed it." Seal this sentence with a kiss, and finish with "love you lots".

Give it a try; you got nothing to lose.

this too.

chaircover:

Life and its problems **Sigh**

You know her cooking was wonky before you married her but you went ahead anyway without making any concrete plans on how to either deal with & eat the bad cooking or force her to learn how to cook before she came into your house

Now you expect a miracle

The problem is the young woman doesn't even see anything wrong in her cooking?! It's a complicated.

1moment:

i wonder for i long i can continue holding on.

It wouldn't be for long - trust me! That's why you should address the problem once and for all.

rokiatu:

Than shut up please and deal with it!

That's harsh and uncalled for!  
If he came to Nairaland before his marriage and complained that he has this wonderful fiance but his only problem is that her cooking is not perfect, I'm sure Nairalanders will say he's frivolous or maybe he has developed cold feet.

My advice is that you teach her. You can also take her to a good restaurant (as a treat) sometime and tell her how much you've enjoyed their cooking. You can increase her cooking budget, maybe it would send the message across. If she proves difficult, you can take the last resort and start bringing Mr Biggs and TFC home.

PS
I believe it won't reach the last resort. If she truly loves you, she'll certainly seek out her friends (and family), who could help her improve her cooking.

get on your knees and ask God to teach your wife how to cook. could be a spiritual problem.
@ I care - lol

option 1, just go 2 d market and get bags of garri, just no dat all ur life u will be drinking garri, one more thing,make sure u make it urself, coz she might want to put maggi in it

@OP
Your story in so many ways is similar to a friend's situation. I dont want to say predicament b/c he never complained. I almost puked the last time I had to eat at their place (it would have been impolite not to eat considering all the effort!).

She is one of the most terrific, gorgeous, polite, witty, beautiful, volouptous babe you will ever meet in your life. Yet she cant cook. I genuinely dread her food. I am sleeping over, I shatter suya for the house-the only convenient escape. The stew I was served once tasted like it had raw groundnut oil. Chicken was well fried on the outside but the core was raw/frozen. Breakfast tea also has issues.

Lesson here is that our girls should learn how to cook. No real substitute to this. OP, sorry you are in trouble for now. Look for an adhoc solution that will not cause too much friction in your home. Later, when your income has reached a certain level and maybe moved into a bigger apertment, get a skilled parmanent cook. U can keep sacking them until you get a good one.

Food is one of the reasons we live and work-save me those esoteric bull/sh/it. A good meal is sth every man shld be able to take for granted.

Thankfully my friend is not on NL.

Cook yourself! Or employ a cook! Is this seriously a question

Send her go trainee school @least u re d man of the house.