We all receive them. The claims are invariably too fantastic to be true. Anyone with half a brain will see right through them, and yet recipients of these mails, keep forwarding them on. They usually contain some sort of promise of good luck or a veiled threat of misfortune should you not “forward on to 10 persons. I normally have a good laugh while reading, and then delete.

I received one the other day, the contents of which was really menacing, and which leads me to believe that the purveyors of religious filth are becoming really desperate to maintain this delusional thinking and are prepared to stoop really, really low to achieve this. These religious cretins have resorted to misquoting prominent persons, quoting out of context, twisting quotes to suit the occasion, disingenuously using statistics and even propagating blatant lies. I have even been told by some that lying for God is OK.

See what you make of this before reading my responses below (for the sake of utilizing space optimally, I have copied and pasted the contents of the mail without the eye-catching font size, paragraphing, color scheme and other formatting):

DID YOU KNOW THESE FACTS? I SURE DIDN’T TILL NOW
Death is certain but the
Bible speaks about untimely death!
Make a personal reflection about
this…..
Very interesting, read until the end…..
It is written in the
Bible (Galatians 6:7):
‘Be not deceived; God is not mocked:
for
whatsoever a man sow, that shall he also reap.
Here are some men and women
who mocked God :

John Lennon (Singer):
Some years before, during his interview with
an American Magazine, he said:
‘Christianity will end, it will disappear. I
do not have to argue about that. I am certain. Jesus was OK, but his subjects
were too simple, today we are more famous than Him’ (1966).
Lennon, after
saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):
During the
Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even
God would remove him from Presidency.
Sure he got the votes, but he got sick
a day before being made President, then he died.

Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):
During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ), while smoking his cigarette, he
puffed out some smoke into the air and said:’God, that’s for you.’
He died
at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.

The man who built the Titanic
After the construction of
Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be. With an ironic tone
he said: ‘Not even God can sink it’
The result: I think you all know what
happened to the Titanic

Marilyn Monroe (Actress)
She was visited by Billy Graham
during a presentation of a show. He said the Spirit of God had sent him to
preach to her. After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: ‘I don’t
need your Jesus’.
A week later, she was found dead in her
apartment

Bon Scott (Singer)
The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of
his 1979 songs he sang: ‘Don’t stop me; I’m going down all the way, down the
highway to hell’.
On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he
had been choked by his own vomit.

Campinas (IN 2005)
In Campinas , Brazil a group of friends,
drunk, went to pick up a friend…..
The mother accompanied her to the car
and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the
daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car: ‘My Daughter, Go
With God And May He Protect You. She responded: ‘Only If He (God) Travels In The
Trunk, Cause Inside Here…..It’s Already Full ‘
Hours later, news came by
that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died, the car
could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the
trunk was intact. The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained
intact. To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was
broken

Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer) said the
Bible (Word of God) was the worst book ever written. In June 2006 she was found
burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.

Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other name
that was given so much authority as the name of Jesus. Many have died, but only
Jesus died and rose again, and he is still alive.

‘Jesus’

PS: If it was a joke, you would have sent it to everyone. So are
you going to have courage to send this?.
I have done my part, Jesus said ‘If
you are embarrassed about me, I will also be embarrassed about you before my
father.’

You are my 8 in 8 seconds. I am not breaking this. No
way!
I’M TOLD THIS WORKS!!!!! Bishop T.D. Jakes ‘8 Second Prayer.’ Just
repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
‘Lord, I love you and I need you,
come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, and my friends, in Jesus’
name. Amen.’
Pass this message to 8 people {EXCEPT YOU AND ME}.You will
receive a miracle tomorrow. I Hope that you don’t ignore and let God bless you.
The Real Facts
The very first line is a lie, because what follows is anything but the facts.
Death is always untimely, period. I’ve never heard any dead person saying his or her death was timely. An observer however may give his/her opinion about the timeliness.
Here is what John Lennon really said: “Christianity will go. It will vanish and shrink. I needn’t argue with that; I’m right and I will be proved right. We’re more popular than Jesus now; I don’t know which will go first — rock and roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right, but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It’s them twisting it that ruins it for me.” There is nothing wrong with this analysis by Lennon, and as one poster on Snopes.com (the urban myths site) so rightfully pointed out, at the time Lennon made this comment, you could not find any massive throngs of people, screaming in excitement, queuing up for hours to get into church. Incidentally, why did this vindictive God take 14 years to punish Lennon for making the quote in 1966? Maybe he had his hands full punishing all the other blasphemers in the world, and could only get around to Lennon in 1980. The truth is, Lennon achieved greatness before he died and his memory lives on – what more can you ask from life?
Let’s assume for the sake of argument that Tancredo Neves did make the statement about God as claimed. And yes, he did become ill a day before his inauguration as President and died about a month later from abdominal complications. His death was followed by an outpouring of grief from the citizens of Brazil who regarded him as a liberator from the previous dictatorial regimes. In honour of Tancredo Neves, he is listed as an official President of Brazil although he never took office, and the Tancredo Neves International Airport in Belo Horizonte is named after him. He died, but his memory and honour lives on. This guy had more honour than any imaginary vindictive God. The truth is, Neves achieved greatness before he died and his memory lives on – what more can you ask from life?
Let’s assume for the sake of argument that Cazuza did make the statement about God as claimed. Yes, Cazuza (real name Agenor Miranda Araujo Neto) was openly bisexual and died from an AIDS related illness at the age of 32. Cazuza’s honesty about his AIDS infection helped to change public perceptions about the disease. He is considered as a leading example of Brazilian Rock Music and is still an inspiration to latter day artists. Yet again, an honourable and revered person whose memory lives on. Yep, he’s still smoking!!! And all ye faithful can put that in your pipes and smoke it. The truth is, Cazuza achieved greatness before he died and his memory lives on – what more can you ask from life?
The man who was responsible for building the Titanic probably did not say “Not even God can sink it,” but lets assume he did. So to punish him, this vindictive God causes the ship to sink, resulting in the deaths of more than 1500 people, including the shipbuilder, Thomas Andrews. Now why do you believe in this monster again? At the time, the Titanic was a marvel of engineering. Thomas Andrews achieved greatness before he died and his memory lives on – what more can you ask from life?
So what if Marilyn Monroe told Billy Graham she did not need his Jesus? Any intelligent person who understood that religion is a drug would have said as much. Why would she want any more drugs? Those she was already hooked on were adequate and so the Jesus-drug was not necessary. Anyway by this time, Monroe had already achieved greatness and will forever be remembered – what more can you ask from life?
Rock stars such as Bon Scott of AC/DC are artists who make use of poetic lyrics to express themselves. To say that he actually meant literally that he was “going down the highway to hell” is rather disingenuous. Claims of death by choking in his own vomit are conspiracy theories. Scott, an asthmatic, actually died of alcohol poisoning, while sleeping in a car, after a night of heavy drinking. By this time, Scott had already achieved greatness and his memory lives on. His grave in Australia is not only the most visited there, but is listed as a heritage site. Has anyone visited Jesus grave recently?
The alleged Campinas accident is the stuff of urban legend. Notice that no names or dates are provided to verify the incident. But at least we now know that the safest place to store eggs, is in the trunk of a car.
Christine Hewitt was absolutely correct to say that the bible was the worst book ever written. The kind of filth portrayed in the bible as the word of some supernatural power that has dominion over us all, cannot be regarded as good by any intelligent, rational, thinking person. Hewitt was probably killed by some religious maniac, but we will never know. At the time of her death she had already achieved prominence in society and will be forever remembered for the good work she did.
In the end, the authors of this hate-mail have merely proven that their imaginary God is not only conceited and vengeful, but downright incompetent as well. This imaginary murderer has failed dismally to snuff out the greatness of those who have been perceived to have rejected and mocked him.

They can't resist stories that confirm their beliefs no matter how ridiculous or false. The pastor in the church I attended used it to preach one Sunday, if rolling eyes could make a sound mine would have been thundering.