I noticed that you have been silent on all questions related to Medical check up and treatment.
Are you sure you ars serious to have a kid

Ayotemide:


True, that might be the norm for the women you know; but I would take the liberty to educate you


Repeated miscarriages can be a function of Rhesus factor incompatibility, a weak womb muscle or worse still a cocktail of medical abnormalities,

Not every woman is walking with an 'ugly past'; and for all the emotions that this lady has put into this post; it is a fucking insensitive thing to say.

You're both right, it could be caused by multiple factors, abortion is also one of them. We are Africans, we operate not only on the physical but the spiritual as well. For the guy to act this way, it seems he has been fed some very bad advice outside, the woman should not only rely on medical solutions but spiritual as well. Usually in cases like this the husband is a willing participant in looking for a viable solution but I doubt if he still believes in her. So the true question is does she love him enough to continue fighting for their marriage or does she abnadon ship while she still can?

cococandy:
If he’s asked you to leave repeatedly and you’re still there, know that you’re just married to yourself.
He’s washed his hands off the marriage.

It up to you to decide when enough is enough.

You never know if another man’s seed is what will end up getting you pregnant and you’re there wasting your youth on someone who CLEARY doesn’t want you anymore.

Don’t beg for love.

There are times in marriage when things go sour, only love through endurance can conquer such moment. Every marriage experiences that moment when one sees separation as the only option. Don’t be deceived by what most married ones portray outside, there are a lot going on inside.
I almost write off my marriage before our first kid and immediately after our first kid because of lack of understanding, but with time things began to change after 4yrs .
Sometimes a partner may not start well in marriage, that doesn’t mean the partner doesn’t love or care, that’s when the other partner need to be very strong to help the situation by showing love and care.
Though there are situations I see separation as the only option but not in this kind of situation.

It is sad that many happy marriages in Africa hinges more on having children than on companionship. When it is probably the woman that has fault, all hell let's loose but if it is the man, most women keeps quiet and sticks to her man. I don't think for 6years, you have not been praying however, even Matthew7:7 says: 'Ask and u shall receive, Seek and u shall find, Knock and the door will be open unto you', so the extent to which you desire something's, you GO for it, match with ACTIONS. As a result, I advise you seek Professionals ie Pastors and Medical personnel's ( even common people's good advice) and please, take this SERIOUSLY. 1) +234 818 084 6476-Whatsapp...., 08034061095- This is Prophet Oluseyi Olutayo, you can call him and speak to him. Pls, break your English or speak Yoruba to him, his church is in Ogun State but at least, you can call him to pray for you.....he is not one of yahoo Pastors please ooo. 2)There are 2 great groups on FBK I recommend- Please, search for and join 1) DO IT YOURSELF (DIY) ALTERNATIVE THERAPY GLOBAL on facebk and read through posts 2) Another great FBK group for this issue is: AsktheGynaecologist.....Please, don't relent, stay blessed.

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

You will have a child, no children...


Take the pain,anger,frustration to God in the closet, pour out your heart like you have no where to go.

I don't think ot is because of your barrenness. I can see you are already depressed. Wake up woman. Clean up yourself. Be yourself. Wear good clothes. Spice up the living room with "girls dress" on you. Wear powder in your face. Let your eyes lashes be super. Put on lip colours..preferably red that will attract him. ..and always put on smiles. You will see the difference

Dear nothing pass God ok by his Grace you will carry your own baby ok

Sunnymatey:
My inlaw stood by my sister for 17yrs before they were blessed with a child.
Some men are sick.
Love between couple should be unconditional.

Some men are sick.... Pray you are not in that shoe... You will surely be sick. Fact!


I remember growing up... I told God not to make me see such.. because I will betray every one . I am not sure if I will be patient for more than four years...

I will shoot outside and also opt for adoption. The Joy that comes in marriage for men even women goes beyond Just sharing love between husband and wife.

Ariza:
Avoid Arguments

Go for medical treatment

Love him

Love yourself more


Love God much more


Pray harder.

Best advise ever

[quote author=ednut1 post=83834898] na una dey deceive una self with vow. People marry most times to fulfill rightouesness , children or satisfy parents . Vows mean nothing this days. The man already told her to leave . This na lost battle[/quot

Talk wisely. It's not a lost battle!
Unless she says the man beats her.. councel, Prayers, wise attitude at home can change things..

Ariza:
Avoid Arguments

Go for medical treatment

Love him

Love yourself more


Love God much more


Pray harder.

Best advise ever

But

Are you a beat and industrious woman?
Cause men can begin to see that as a point to gate or love u...

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

I understand ur pain pls try and call dis numba 09023891116. Six years is still young.By d grace of God u will b a mother.

davillian:
Once you get pregnant everything will change.
It took my friend 10yrs to have a child.
She went through hell that 10yrs....
Anytime she wan begin cry na my phone she de call....
Avoid issues with him he is bitter for not having a child after 6yrs

Persons are not also considering the unpleasant cricumstanes the hubby faces on daily basis cos he not yet a father.

People are not so sure if the lady had made a mistakes in the past and the man now has to suffer for it.

People haven't considered the fact that 6years is quite a long time, couples are getting old, the man is angry his plans for his family are been frustrated.

Does he blame the wife? I don't think so.

There are deeper issues in this union that is not out of the bag yet. The issues are rocking the very foundation of this Union and we all seem not to notice.

Last miscarriage was 3 years ago. Which probably means intimacy has died a natural death, but the affection remains and it's dying too.

He is not blaming you per se for lack of childlessness, his resentment arises from lack of finding fulfillment in the Union.

Just take a step back, and think deep. What are his dreams? His goals? What gives him purpose and support same.

He is probably lonely too, but tries to mask it up by staying out probably drinking with friends who will still yab him when drunk for not been a daddy.

He also feels bad when he sees his friends kids and have to play with them, while wishing they were his kids, especially if he is the kind that loves kids.

Again, I think you did something in the past that you are yet to forgive yourself about and it's robing you of your joy. You feel it's your past coming to hunt you.

Now, to my advise.

1. Depression? How has your been in this state helped you or contributed towards achieving your goals?

Samuels mother ( Hannah) encouraged her self in the Lord. Same was King David when the Armalikeths hit him in-between his nose during his moment of victory.

Crying won't solve anything. The question therefore is, how to I get to my desired goal?

Me think, your current state has left you in shred of pityable state that you will gladly organise pity party for your self. The public can't help you cos we all have our stories, and majority don't care.

Get that into your brain. Many are like king David's army, who even considered stoning him for no fault of his.

Now, let's get one thing clear, your husband does not dislike you, but he dislikes your state and your attitude towards things.

The truth is, your husband loves kids and the pressure is making him bitter. The loneliness you both suffer got him wishing you had kids. The two of you are suffering and processing things differently.

Display of affecting is on suspension and you are feeling it deep, cos you feel he should be there to encourage you, and help you get better. But first, he is human, before he became your husband.

If two persons are down, none can help the other. But if they both make attempts at getting back on their feet, then, all will be well. Nobody helps when your back is on the floor. Never forget that. Even your own family will mock you. Remember that too.

So stop looking for sympathy and start believing. Believe already you have a baby. They are on their way, and the fact that have not arrived at your destination does not mean you don't have one.

It's like ordering a car from a far country, it will take sometime to get to your destination, but that does not mean you don't have one.

Write down their names and your expected due date. Go get a diary and a pen babe ! Or keep one online.

2. Wake up and wash your face. Remove the mask of self pity if you desire to share your testimony. God is making you a miracle, and you are hia wallowing in self pity. Nonsense sumbody. .

Take a bad and get things to distract you. Forget about trying to conceive, that's has been settled, and you have written down what exactly you want.

No baby will come to you in this state. If you order a car from a far country, common sense demands you work harder to clear, and love-vendor the car to your taste.

And you can't achieve this by waiting for the car to arrive at the port before you start planning. Only a foolish man who wants demoriaige to accrue, and possibly end up losing his car will do this.

Go wash your wash, dress, plan and think of how to love-vendor those babies when they eventually show up. So you need to come up with a plan on how you are going to take good care of those kids and ensure they live a better life.

Note: You are all alone in this, so forget about your husband for now. After all, if he got you pregnant and died immediately after child birth or during pregnancy, won't you survive? So forget about him and fight your battles. Start surviving and he will come around.

Dress nice, start a business that will allow you time to take care of yourself. If you have a job, try not to bury yourself into it too much as a way of escape, but learn to make out time for yourself.

Join a church if you can. I don't like to, but I read my Bible and listen to tapes too. Ain't religious, but don't be like me.

Join church groups and serve God, not man. Wear a smile. Try to be happy for no reason.

Go shopping and never forget to burn things for the babies on their way. You should prepare.

3. Do it the Hannah's way. Tie it to a vow. That was what I did during school. I didn't attend class that much due to business, but made a vow never to block any course, would rather give the money to God in payment of my vow. My part of the deal was to read and pass. So, God gave me a word" the ending of a thing shall be better than the beginning thereof". I never failed a core course, had no carry over, and was one the best student who graduated when his mates where. It wasn't me but God. Many paid attention, attended all classes but yet didn't make it.

Never knew it was even in the Bible at that time. But it worked. So make make a contract of what you seek and tie it to a vow. Now this is what I will also advise,give gifts to kids of others and make them genuinely happy.

But do this only to kids whose parents don't know your story, but they misconstrue your intentions.

Lastly, start seducing your man back. It's your duty to get your man back. He has not physically abused you, so your life is not in immediate danger. Words are painful , I know. But choose to ignore it and just know that what he says , is who he is , or what he is currently going through, and it has nothing to do with you.

By good clothes, take him out on dinners. And have a talk. You both need to communicate. But this won't come cheap except you decide to explore the 3rd degree of faith.

If you can't do that, remain at the 2nd degree encapsulated above.

Buy indoor sexy clothes, dress to kill him sexually indoors. Or within the compound if you both live alone.

This will certainly get him eating your pussycat any time soon pike his life depends on it. But, he might not even notice you immediately. So have patience.

Lastly, eat good food and exercise. You need good health to take deliveries of your babies and care for them. So work out every week. You want his seeds planted in you, so you must be ready to Bleep him crazy like a possesed beauty.

You need to be flexible to do this. Every chance you get, screw his brains out like he has never bleeped up before now.

Well! He is actually getting to meet a new you, cos the old depressed, bitter , unkept , and resentful you is dead and a new, reinvented, happy and focused you is born. So, Bleep him. Don't let him Bleep you.

Give him orals , tease him, leave him hanging without fucking him.But ensure he doesn't leave the house unfucked.

Send him messages and get him gifts no matter how little, with a joyous heart and wonderful smile.

Your case is simply. It's miscarriage. People that written off, still got pregnant and gave birth.

Your case ain't closed yet. Don't close it with your hands.


Now read the following books.

Woman thou art loosed. - T.D.Jakes.

I believe in miracles- Kenneth E. Haggin. (Must read)

Love code - Nike or Sam Adeyemi ( not sure)

Winning over discouragement*audio tape* ( Sam Adeyemi) must get.


Slight edge*** google the author

Psychology of self discipline ** I got his audio book on YouTube* you can download it or listen live. You need to listen to this book atleast 2x a week for 90days.

The Psychology of self esteem ( Nathan Bredon).

Me and my big mouth ( Joyce Meyer)

Prayer that moves mountain ( would supply the author when I get to my study ).

****Bible **** never fail to understand Mark 11 (20-24) and Daniel 9 (1) . But I advise the entire 9.

Your problem is simple , but the solution won't come cheap. You will start seeing result at earliest 45days, but mainly, result shows between 90-120days.

Note: should you decide to follow my advice, keep it strictly to yourself and tell no living soul until you have result.

Many will steal your dreams or kill it if they can't.

You are alone in this. Don't go to any man of God, go to God. Don't be churchy, the church is full of unspeakable evil. Be Godly. Shalom babe! Congratulations.

digitaltrades:


She may also need to confess some dark secrets of the past, like multiple abortions

She and her husband in this case, he too might have committed multiple abortions, both known and unknown( some women won't tell a man they dated that they are pregnant for him).

Nairaland is the most unreasonable place to bring ur marital issues or personal issues to. On nairaland, you see the wise, Foolish, stupid, rich, poor, senseless, sensible, idiots, frustrated, intelligent people.. so different pple will give dia own ideas..not even wat they will do most times. Some are already saying leave ur marriage dat nothing can be done. Some are saying keep trusting God...
Why bring ur life to nairaland!!!
Dont come to nairaland to learn aw to live ur life, u will be misled!! Just come to nairaland to get some gists, rumours of wats happening in town, football results and If u are the one dat likes pictures, look at prewedding pics dat dont make an iota of sense...

Women self. Must you remain in a relationship that you are not wanted or appreciated? Nothing is tying you down in that relationship. Get out now before I bring koboko to whip you out of the place

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

I saw this below n I felt glad cos it will help. N also learn to do things that will make u happy too.


Re: My Husband Dislikes Me by Ariza: 8:57pm On Nov 07
Avoid Arguments
Go for medical treatment
Love him
Love yourself more

Love God much more

Pray harder.

My sister, I av seen or reads all comments of advise, I read post of advise that says prayer prayer, its work truly but prayer without action is valueless, first consult medical experts and also prayer if there is no obstacles that lead you not to be conceive and trying all ur efforts to bring back lost love, but stl abortive, now you can call for divorce legally not partially and get marry to another man, God can answer your in that place everything is with reason and benefit but we don't know, becos we don't av spiritual foresight, but only God knows, don't mind what pple will says after u jst concentrate with Allah's wish on u.
As a Muslim this is one of the reason Muslim, we need to reason together and getting to 2nd wife maybe later the first also maybe conceive like Abraham and Sarah in d bible my sister you need to think twice with all of this millions advice here and act wisely. I know that u are facing more depression don't commit suicide or hurt ur husband even if you heard that he impregnate another woman jst use maturity to accept I know that it's not easy but to let peace reign
Thanks hazcutwears@gmail.com

UjuJoan2:




I was talking about how women react to being treated badly in the future in the other thread, and most of the people advising her to 'endure' almost jumped me. They claimed I should be advising women to stand up for themselves and yapped about how women had a 'choice'. And here they are saying the exact opposite, confirming what I said initially.

Nigerian women will always be at a disadvantage, no matter how much we try to deny it.

This poster is being abused emotionally by her husband and yet the society expects her to stay. How do you think she will react in the future when she finally becomes a mother and the husband becomes 'nice'. When she realises she now has all the power over her abuser and doesn't have to cower because she now has 'a place' in his home?

Of course she's not thinking 'revenge' now, but she's feeling the resentment and she's feeling helpless about her situation. I doubt if she's going to wave a hand and forget all she's going through now in the future, and live happily ever after with her husband.

When she starts reacting, the man will claim his wife has changed, and these fake people here will support him.

What a joke!

True.

What she truly needs is to be at peace with herself regardless of that or any situation.
When she's at peace herself, she'll be at peace with everyone else, then she can begin to heal from within .

Viking07:
As usual and expected, Nigerians will always refer you to God. The entire first page was about "leave it for God". We are all under serious religious bondage in this country.

Post something similar on a different platform e.g quora.com and read enlightened, smart, nonreligious, helpful, realistic advises/opinions.

Too lazy to think, hence leave it to GOD!

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

just get technology to help you conceive if you guys can afford it.

What are you still doing there is what i want to know?

Now i want to give you an example. My former neighbors (we used to live in a face me i face you house by the way so i have all of life lessons at my disposal ) they were married for some time before they came to our compound. This lady was blamed by the man's family,even the man's mother would come and torment this lady. I was very young then about 11/12 so i dont know if she had miscarriages or not, but the worse happened when the man started going literally nuts ,he would stare into the sun and be speaking jargons, he will put bluefilm during the day and be watching (dont ask me how i know ) it was in the midst of their wahala we moved from that house , but two years ago my mum came across her at the market, she is now a mother of twins with another man, i think she has another child too ,my mum says she asks of me all the time.

Buttom Line, I think the patriarchy in this society enourages women to have this "fix it " mentality and religion even made it worse,considering what most pastors and their wives hammer on is how wives should submit and submit and sibmit some more . It is a marriage between two people but i don't know why women are usually raised to believe that burden is on them to "fix" their marriage. This is a trying time when you need your husband the most ,for emotional support yet he is the one putting you through emotional troubles? I am tempted to ask what prayer will do here? Cos i suspect he is cheating already or maybe he went for prayer meeting at 12am who knows.

There might be something causing the miscarriages ,maybe even rhesus factor get that checked out along with him,it could even be weak uterine lining, hormonal imbalance or even certain foods you eat(ginger for example has been proven to cause miscarriage in some women with weak uterine linning),you can even opt for surrogacy if need be,gone are the days when a woman should suffer this kind of a thing when technology has come to save the day ,if he doesn't bulge, then take my last advice

Life is a risk, it might not work out for you like my neighbor,it might but you never know till you try. Start going out more and visit dating sites,its time to be on the defence before he forcefully throws you out one day or even brings a pregnant lady home .Should you decide to leave and find your peace, never get married to someone else till you are pregnant if possible till you give birth,i know some people will come for my head for this, oh she is encouraging having children out of wedluck bla bla bla. Like i said, i have seen many things to borrow myself sense.

amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.

So sorry dear. You will have your kids soonest.
A woman I met once had same issue. Remember one of the occasion I came to congratulate her cos I noticed her big belly was flattened. The look on her face.......I almost teared up. She confirmed my fears and I had to console her.
When she dropped finally.....Omo, my joy knew no bounds. About your husband not liking you.....I think he does. Just that he is pouring his frustration on you.....which only prayer AND good attitude can change.
Seek medical assistance too.

I have one question for you, Give us a preamble of your youthful lifestyle?

amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.

God have heard your cry.

Not to pry in your personal life here, but have you checked to find out the reason why you couldn't have kids, not to assign blame here but is it you or your husband ( you dont have to answer this publicly). If so, is there other alternative, medicine have advanced lately and lots of options out there , have you tried any?

Lastly, Prayer is the master key. When God answers, he answers with triplet. God have heard your cry .

Not to defend your husband, but please try to understand, relax and keep praying , again I am not condoning his attitude.

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

davillian:
Once you get pregnant everything will change.
It took my friend 10yrs to have a child.
She went through hell that 10yrs....
Anytime she wan begin cry na my phone she de call....
Avoid issues with him he is bitter for not having a child after 6yrs

Persons are not also considering the unpleasant cricumstanes your hubby faces on a daily basis cos he not yet a father.

He faces societal pressure as do you on a daily basis. From friends and family. E friends go don even tease am say he not be man enough, or he prick nor dey work. Say e be woman. He bottles all these insults in, and soaks them up.

Yes! Some might spill over, and that's what you witness. But that is not the root cause. It's just a mask covering deeper issues.

Both of you are trying to use kids as a means of escaping each other as witnessed in many marriages, when both parents are deeply lonely , some chose to focus all attention on the kids who will one day leave the house.

Then, they are back to dealing with the original problems at old age. Hence, some old men choose to marry new wife at old age cos of this unfixed problem at inception. While the woman is busy traveling from one kids home to another to avoid the man.


We are not so sure if you made a mistakes in the past, and the man now has to suffer for it. If he knows, this might also contribute to his resentment, even if he loves you with every shred of his being.

He is human, and love is just a powerful emotion. But humans are humans. So check this out and let us know. Did you commit abortions at a much younger age?

Also consider the fact that 6years is quite a long time, couples are getting old, the man is angry his plans for his family are been frustrated.

After all, the thrust of a man's life is to raise and cater for a family and then die. Whether he made billions , built empires or not, it all boils down to this one simply thing. But no man wants to pay school fees at old age when his mates are having grand kids. Consider this too.

Does he blame you , his precious wife? I don't think so. All he has inside of him is bitterness, resentment and probably regrets.

Perhaps, you tricked him into the marriage with pregnancy, and it didn't get to term. You, know he would have made sacrifices like putting a business on hold or any major dream to accommodate you and the baby. Now he feels disappointed in his decision to so do.

There is also a possibility he considers himself a failure on the family front. Cos African society believes once you fail on the family front, you are a complete failure as a man, regardless of your wealth and social status. And this is taking a toll on him.


I have solid reasons to believe there are deeper issues in this union that is not out of the bag yet.

These issues are rocking the very foundation of this Union and we all seem not to notice.

Last miscarriage was 3 years ago. Which probably means intimacy has died a natural death, but the affection remains, and it's dying too. At a much faster pace.

He is not blaming you per se for lack of children, his resentment arises from lack of finding fulfillment in the Union.

What other aspect can he find such fulfillment that will keep him whilst we expect the arrival of your babies who are on their way anyway?

Just take a step back, and think deep. What are his dreams? His goals? What gives him purpose and support same. Find a way to support him. A million dollar ideal ain't bad.

He is probably lonely too, but tries to mask it up by staying out late probably drinking with friends who will still yab him when drunk for not been a daddy. Or in Bossom of a strange woman who is not as warm as yours.

But because he thinks the woman supports him. I hope he has not made the mistake of having kids outside.

He also feels bad when he sees his friends kids, and have to play with them, while wishing they were his kids, especially if he is the kind that loves kids.

Again, I think you did something in the past that you are yet to forgive yourself about, and it's robing you of your joy. You feel it's your past coming to hunt you. No past is hurting you. It's all in your head. Mark 11:23-24.

Now, to my advise.

1. Depression? How has your been in this state helped you or contributed towards achieving your goals?

Samuels mother ( Hannah) encouraged her self in the Lord. Same was King David when the Armalikeths hit him in-between his nose during his moment of victory.

Crying won't solve anything. The question therefore is, how to I get to my desired goal?

Me think, your current state has left you in shred of pityable state that you will gladly organise pity party for your self. The public can't help you cos we all have our stories, and majority don't care.

Get that into your brain. Many are like king David's army, who even considered stoning him for no fault of his.

Now, let's get one thing clear, your husband does not dislike you, but he dislikes your state and your attitude towards things.

The truth is, your husband loves kids, and the pressure is making him bitter. The loneliness you both suffer got him wishing you had kids. The two of you are suffering and processing things differently.

Display of affection is on suspension, and you are feeling it deep, cos you feel he should be there to encourage you, and help you get better. But first, he is human, before he became your husband.

If two persons are down, none can help the other. But if they both make attempts at getting back on their feet, then, all will be well. Nobody helps when your back is on the floor. Never forget that. Even your own family will mock you. Remember that too.

So stop looking for sympathy and start believing. Believe already you have babies. They are on their way, and the fact that they have not arrived at your destination does not mean you don't have one.

It's like ordering a car from a far country, it will take sometime to get to your destination, but that does not mean you don't have one.

Write down their names and your expected due date. Go get a diary and a pen babe ! Or keep one online.

2. Wake up and wash your face. Remove the mask of self pity if you desire to share your testimony. God is making you a miracle, and you are hia wallowing in self pity. Nonsense sumbody. .

Take a bathe, and get things to distract you. Remove your mind completely, and shift focus on how to seduce your man back , just so you can Bleep out all your anger and resentment on his dick.


Forget about trying to conceive, that's has been settled, and you have written down what exactly you want.

No baby will come to you in this state. If you order a car from a far country, common sense demands you work harder to clear, and love-vendor the car to your taste.

And you can't achieve this by waiting for the car to arrive at the port before you start planning.
Only a foolish man who wants demoriaige to accrue, and possibly end up losing his car will do this.

Go wash your face, dress up, look good , plan, and think of how to love-vendor those babies when they eventually show up. So you need to come up with a plan on how you are going to take good care of those kids and ensure they live a better life.

Note: You are all alone in this, so forget about your husband for now. After all, if he got you pregnant and died immediately after child birth or during pregnancy, won't you survive? So forget about him and fight your battles. Start surviving and he will come around.

Dress nice, start a business that will allow you time to take care of yourself. If you have a job, try not to bury yourself into it too much as a way of escape, but learn to make out time for yourself.

Join a church if you can. I don't like to,ain't churchy but I read my Bible and listen to tapes too. Ain't religious, but don't be like me.

Join church groups and serve God, not man. Wear a smile. Try to be happy for no reason.

Go shopping, and never forget to buy things for the babies on their way. You should prepare.

3. Do it the Hannah's way. Tie it to a vow. That was what I did during school. I didn't attend class that much due to business, but made a vow never to block any course, would rather give the money to God in payment of my vow.

My part of the deal was to read and pass. So, God gave me a word;
" the ending of a thing shall be better than the beginning thereof".

I never failed a core course, had no carry over, and was one the best student who graduated when his mates where. It wasn't me but God.

Many paid attention, attended all classes but yet didn't make it.

Never knew it was even in the Bible at that time. But it worked. So make a contract of what you seek and tie it to a vow. Now this is what I will also advise,give gifts to kids of others and make them genuinely happy.

But do this only to kids whose parents don't know your story, before they misconstrue your intentions.

You attract what you selflessly care for. You should teach in children department of a church and help other kids. This is one good way to secure your plans.

Lastly, start seducing your man back. It's your duty to get your man back. You have not yet lost him, but you are beginning to lose him. Before you quit, do your very best to ensure you did all you could. Let, no one tell you to divorce him, he is a good man I suppose. He is just dealing wrongly. As a man that has seen loads of maritial issues, I know. And I have learnt.

He has not physically abused you, so your life is not in immediate danger. Words are painful , I know. But choose to ignore it, and just know that what he says , is who he is , or what he is currently going through, and it has nothing to do with you. His words or the words of others cannot define you, of you don't accept them in your head.

Buy good clothes, take him out to dinner or movie. And have a talk. You both need to communicate. You have not been communicating. I don't even think you know each others life goals or plans.

But this won't come cheap except you decide to explore the 3rd degree of faith.

If you can't do that, remain at the 2nd degree encapsulated above, and gradually work your way up into the 3rd dimension of faith. Which is " the kingdom of God suffereth violence, but only the VIOLENT taketh it by force. You must take charge and possess your possession.

Remember, the entrance of thy words gives knowledge and understanding to the simple. You problem is simply. So simple to solve dear.

Buy indoor sexy clothes, dress to kill him sexually indoors. Or within the compound if you both live alone.

This will certainly get him eating your pussycat any time soon like his life depends on it. But, he might not even notice you immediately. So have patience. He will certainly notice. Don't go wasting time chasing his other woman outside, it's waste of energy and resources.

Focus on yourself and he will focus on you. Get some good Christian tapes, dance your heart out sincerely to God. Double the dance when he is around.

Also play naija mix and gbe body for no reason when he is in the house. Inject joy into your home. Dance like you don't care who is watching, like it's your last day on earth or you will win 30billion in a dancing competition. Seduce him while dancing in your sexy skimpy dresses.

Lastly, eat good food and exercise. You need good health to take deliveries of your babies and care for them. So work out every week. You want his seeds planted in you, so you must be ready to Bleep him crazy like a possesed beauty.

You need to be flexible to do this. Every chance you get, screw his brains out like he has never bleeped up before now. And he has never met you before.

Well! He is actually getting to meet a new you, cos the old depressed, bitter , unkept , and resentful you is dead and a new, reinvented, happy and focused you is born. So, Bleep him. Don't let him Bleep you.

Give him orals , tease him, leave him hanging without fucking him.But ensure he doesn't leave the house unfucked. Drain him till his dick hurts. A hurting dick won't screw another.

Send him messages and get him gifts no matter how little, with a joyous heart and wonderful smile. These are seeds. Trust me , you will send my gifts when he starts bombarding you with gifts. I know men.

Your case is simply. It's miscarriage. People that were written off medically and spirituality, still got pregnant and gave birth. So you will carry yours as long as the Lord liveth and as long as you hold Him with Mark 11.

Your case ain't closed yet. Don't close it with your hands and your mouth.


Now read the following books.

Woman thou art loosed. - T.D.Jakes.

I believe in miracles- Kenneth E. Haggin. (Must read)

Love code - Nike or Sam Adeyemi ( not sure)

Winning over discouragement*audio tape* ( Sam Adeyemi) must get.


Slight edge*** google the author

Psychology of self discipline ** I got his audio book on YouTube* you can download it or listen live. You need to listen to this book atleast 2x a week for 90days.

The Psychology of self esteem ( Nathan Bredon).

Me and my big mouth ( Joyce Meyer)

Prayer that moves mountain ( would supply the author when I get to my study ).

****Bible **** never fail to understand Mark 11 (20-24) and Daniel 9 (1) . But I advise the entire 9.

Your problem is simple , but the solution won't come cheap. You will start seeing result at earliest 45days, but mainly, result shows between 90-120days.

Note: should you decide to follow my advice, keep it strictly to yourself and tell no living soul until you have result.

See this movie too. " Fire proof" . It will teach you something.

Many will steal your dreams or kill it if they can't.

You are alone in this. Don't go to any man of God, go to God. Don't be churchy, the church is full of unspeakable evil. Be Godly. Shalom babe! Congratulations.

Like someone suggested, get the book Super Natural child birth I will advise you stop thinking about your husband and the soon coming child. Be very close to your bible and God, pray with faith and not fear. Fear will only cause futher misconception about God and it's a weapon of the devil. Learn never to relate your trying times with anyone but just tell it to the father in Heaven. God will give you a twins this year and they will be born next year by the grace of God. See never visit a false prophet or a vodoo! Only God is the giver of life. And stop sharing the issue online.

Sunnymatey:
My inlaw stood by my sister for 17yrs before they were blessed with a child.
Some men are sick.
Love between couple should be unconditional.

ur inlaw did it the question is can u do it too?...men are sick u say just because we are created as men does'nt mean our behaviour should tally...and to the op may God grant u that which u desire soonest and u should pray for ur husband and seek medical help too..dnt listen to this person i quoted silent advice o he is just trying to compare his inlaw to ur husband

amarachi06:


Thank you, am crying already. Is well with my soul, never believed that l will not have a child by now. All my sisters are married with kids, and am scared of exchanging words with people for fear of being called a barren woman, and eater of my kids, which l am not. Thank you all for your kind words.

U r not barren na,d mistake ur husband is making is He might actually be on the wrong side of this but dont let us think of it that way..in marriage,couples are meant to support,understand,trust each other.

My advice for u, mind your business,ur husband neva stopped loving u...
Make ur sef happy,face ur work,dress smartly and neatly..seduce him with wears but make it look like u r minding ur businees,b respectful,greet him.,u knw d tinx he loves..do them and dont expect him to reciprociate it back now..

The health part,go for check up..treat infection if there is any.Then eat enough of date palm and tigernut..
Last part,as a wife u must alwaya be prayerful..

Bilabong:
Can two work unless they agree?

Pray hard!

Typical Nigeria advice...

amarachi06:
I have been married for 6years without a child. it has been the worst time of My life to be married without a child.

Anytime we argue, he will shout at me with scorn and hateful words but he can never speak to his family members that way.

lf l try to talk with him over some issues or advice which will benefit us, he will shot me down, only for us to suffer later.

l have tried to Know my wrong to him but he doesn't wanna tell me. l am in deep pains cos he has told me "that anytime l want to leave, that am free to do so".

On Monday, he came back around 12am, and l was worried till that time. He came back without explaination and l asked him, whether l am that invisible to him, and his reply was "if l am tired, that l should leave". l now replied, "if l have a child, will you send us out?" he didn't say anything but l know that his attitude is cos of that.

The day l had my Last miscarriage was in 2016, and the tears l had in My eyes was not about my baby but knowing that l will Not be loved again by my husband.

l am tired! l almost went Into depression, and sucide, cos of his attitude to me. l don't Know how to handle him, cos my presence irritates him.

Please Sound advice.

Take it to Gabriel Fernandez (or Hernandez) prayer ministry on YouTube. God answers his prayers.

The struggles of women trying to conceive. Societal pressure is so enormous. O.p, if you intend to save your marriage you can only persevere, and hope for the best. Pray, have your regular sex and still patronise fertility clinics. Now it's not just getting pregnant, but carrying then to full term.