I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

Misplaced depression, I know of a lady that gained admission at 23 still same pharmacy she has graduated now and living a fulfilled life. Time doesn't define you what defines you is the amount of work you put into the time spent, go make good grades and your mum will be proud of you.

Your own better na, you never hear people story. In this country veterans still living with their parents is a normal phenomenon these days. Only 21 she dey complain.
You for just dey laugh your Mama.
If you like go and kill yourself, them go carry your body go police station......

Hey homie, that's African parents for you huh, my dad always compared me with a certain family friend that always came first in every class while I managed third at the most, now we are much older and out of the uni, she came out with first class again, while me the regular 2:2, but life always have a way of sorting things out, I'm extra intelligent, smart and I'm already established at 25, even own my own home but she's somewhere teaching for 15k, now I show him the distance with us and he realizes he's mistake but still cant change the fact that the comparism created a certain hatred in me that isnt suppose to be there, best I can do is never do such to my kids, always boost their ego no matter what !!!!
Hope this helps honey ! Stop sounding Like a girl and try to do most thing on your own as well.

U and ur mother no serious...pikin no go school wahala,pikin try go,him go late...some people prayed to study pharmacy like u are doing today,after writing jamb for 5years,but ended up studying agric economics.what is 7years...do u even know d number of youths praying for such?..abeg make I hear words...2moro na ur mama go dance pass u wey go d school..she will be going around telling people "my daughter is a pharmacist" both who ask her and who no ask her...may GOD see u thru in Jesus name and graduate in flying colours.

i just hope you don't get pushed into crime..

most of these naija parents don't even have a trust fund for their children and yet they want them to be up and doing after teen age..

Walewestt:
Hey homie, that's African parents for you huh, my dad always compared me with a certain family friend that always came first in every class while I managed third at the most, now we are much older and out of the uni, she came out with first class again, while me the regular 2:2, but life always have a way of sorting things out, I'm extra intelligent, smart and I'm already established at 25, even own my own home but she's somewhere teaching for 15k, now I show him the distance with us and he realizes he's mistake but still cant change the fact that the comparism created a certain hatred in me that isnt suppose to be there, best I can do is never do such to my kids, always boost their ego no matter what !!!!
Hope this helps honey ! Stop sounding Like a girl and try to do most thing on your own as well.

It's supposed to be tough love, but trust Africans, as usual we must find a way to abuse everything

hmm... most of my guys I know finished uni at the age of at least 26 and they are successful, some finished by21 22 and now are 30 with nothing tangible at hand.. so it's not the age or anything everybody has a different path.

Op, if you hear my own ehn, if admission come or not my life still goes on. #forwardever#

Walewestt:
Hey homie, that's African parents for you huh, my dad always compared me with a certain family friend that always came first in every class while I managed third at the most, now we are much older and out of the uni, she came out with first class again, while me the regular 2:2, but life always have a way of sorting things out, I'm extra intelligent, smart and I'm already established at 25, even own my own home but she's somewhere teaching for 15k, now I show him the distance with us and he realizes he's mistake but still cant change the fact that the comparism created a certain hatred in me that isnt suppose to be there, best I can do is never do such to my kids, always boost their ego no matter what !!!!
Hope this helps honey ! Stop sounding Like a girl and try to do most thing on your own as well.

Thanks alot for this piece

I'm I really sounding like a girl?

Help me with Macho write up

Note

It's not how fast you run, but how balance you are when running the race, it's not who gained admission first and graduated at an early age, you never can tell, you guys might still meet at the labour market, it happens.

iaamxavier:
I'm writing this post with a heavy heart

So I'm 21 and I finished secondary school at age 17 (2015) and to be honest I just got admission this year to study pharmacy while my mates are in their final year and it hurts alot because my mum keeps telling me that my cousin is in final year and is about serving next year and I'm just gaining admission to a university, she even uses her friend's child as an example and it made me go into a Little depression, I actually felt sad because for the first time a comparison actually hit me...

She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Now I'm studying a 5 years course (7 years to become a full graduate) and by then I'll be 28 I actually feel ashamed because this isn't what I wanted since I left secondary school
I wanted to finish on time and remove the burden from them

I've never failed jamb, my least Score was 245 but circumstances kept dragging me back

I finished my ND program in 2017 (Distinction in SLT Yabatech)

So it feels more like I'm parambulating up and down and don't know what I want for my self but I actually do!!

I need an advice or something to make me feel better or confident about my self

Start a business in school save and be strict with your time .. follow only rich and serious people avoid all unfortunate people .. dont mind your mom .. just let her be .. and have your secrets kept only to yourself ..

we are in the same condition, even mine is worse cos I have not gained admission, leave secondary school at 16. I even slept with tears last night, but I am trying to get money ooo, even are those who graduated not the one complaining here everyday.

me I dey try kdp, forex, even I don own sport blog , my topic just reach front page now ( villa retirement) . see everyone with their own time , don't be depressed .

Uhmm... Sorry about all you're going through.

Just be patient and try to depend on your parents as little as possible. 5 years will come and go in a giffy.

Also, remember that you're better off than quite a good number of people and there're lots of opportunities to come your way.

Finally, REMEMBER TO BE BETTER PARENTS TO YOUR CHILDREN

I understand yu bro but allow me to share my story with you maybe u will be motivated.

I finished my secondary school in year 2000, my parents are not rich to even register me for jamb. I have two friends that have better parents,one obtained Army recruitment form while the other obtained Police form and they were lucky to be selected after 5months they have started receiving salary while I remain home drinking gaari and depend on my parent.

My parents especially my dad put pressure on me that me too should try obtain either of the forms so I can start receiving salary and taking care of my siblings. I made a statement that day..I told my dad " Baami I will not obtain recruit form, I will go to school become a career man and I will take care of you,my mum and my siblings but daddy I promise you I will build house,buy car,marry and do all the good thing when these guys are doing great things" my dad couldn't reply me he just smile, people will be making jest of me when ever these guys come around,will give them money,gift but I was home waiting for when I will get money for jamb.

I eventually gained admission into The polytechnic Ibadan in 2002/03 that wasn't my choice but I have to go to higher institution. I did some funny job to sponsored myself to finish ND in 2005 time is going and I'm already 23yrs old, I came to Lagos and look for job, after many tries I got a better one in 2009 at age 27(Even with ND ) this job change my life till date, I go back for my HND in 2010 (pt) . One day the Solder among my friends called me if I have like #400k to buy land,thank God i have the #400k he bought the land for me and he took me to the land and even show me his own with uncompleted 3 bedroom flat on it,in two months my building is completed just remain roofing, Four months after I completed my house even bfre his, at age 30 i have own what a man must have.Today I'm better (not my power but by God grace)

My brother do not allow your parent words disorganize you, everybody has his/her time, be focused and believe in yourself, the fact that your friends graduated bfre u doesn't mean they will be employed bfre you and even if they got employed bfre u ..it doesn't mean you will not excel/succeed pass them.You have your destiny and they have theirs.

Peace be unto you and pls face your studies and say no to cultism .

That's African parents for you but if you start comparing them to dangote and otedola, they will say you lack respect and home training.

Hmm. We can't choose our parents, can we

Do not feel bad. Life is a personal race.

While you are in school, try to get as many scholarships but do not tell anyone about it. It is a pity that I do not know the school you are studying in.

Try to do side hustles if you can (like private tutorials, Machinery is too risky(don't), computer tutorials (if you have the knowledge), and so on. If you can lie that you need to buy cadaver every semester (or fictitious practicals) to raise money from your parents, it is good but do not spend it buying irrelevant things, partying, chasing after girls and so on.

By the time you are in final year, you would have saved up to stand on your own, job or no job. I am telling you from experience.

I wish to apologize on behalf of your mum. She really meant well for you, but you won't understand now. Just as you feel depressed about the situation is the same way she feels depressed too. Every parent silently prays for their child to be the best, to be ahead of their peers and when things don't go as they wished, disappointment sets in. Be the best, strive to be the best and excel and everyone will forget the disappointment of the past. BTW, I know someone that graduated at the age of 30 became more successful than the person that graduated at 22. The race is not of the swiftest, Gods grace and mercy is what you should pray for

I feel like sounding harsh to your writeup which will definitely bounce on your mum... Let me just chill ...its your type your mum will tell to go and marry any body just to leave her house when the time come ... Pharmacy for that matter at your small age and she is complaining ...when i know guys that at age 25plus they are still failing jamb and still never give up ... You are lucky and your mum is not grateful ...please don't take that attitude after her because its frustrating and very bad ...alot have committed suicide because of parents comparing... I hate such ..

You’re still very young ,if it’s not for computer age how can you expect to be in final year at a public university at the age of 21.

why must u be depressed over what your mummy is telling you? remember woman generally are known to talk out of emotions and also remember life is not all about who started first but who ended well.
my dear study hard and i strongly believe the sky is your limit

i wish u well in your studies

iaamxavier:


She claims they (my parents)are supposed to be resting and not paying school fee. That I'm stressing them and ever since I was a teenager I always vowed that I wanted to leave my father house before 25yrs of age

Going by this statement, it's apparent you've always promise or threaten your parents that you'll leave their house before age 25, but with the current circumstances, it appears that won't be possible.



I think the only thing you can do is to ensure you leave the house just the way you promised.


Learn a trade and have a side hustle so that you become less dependent on your parents.


Reading through the entire writeup above, it's apparent your mum sees you as a burden to them(your parents), so the only thing that can really reduce or stop the nagging is if you stop asking them for things. That is, if you become financially independent.


So find a trade and try to become financially independent and watch things change.

Who has d image of Lalasticlala? I'm carrying out an intensive research on African Snakes.

i graduated at the age of 21 and got a decent job at 27... My dear age and time does not define success

What an annoying word from a mother



Some mothers sef

But then ....

OP don't be angry. Most people went through or are also going through same thing. Growing up most people had big dreams! Most people felt they would graduate by 20 but life happens! Just keep hustling ooooo!

I hate bad energy, and I do away with them sharply without caring where it's coming from.

Cox I refused to serve, my dad started acting funny. I simply put him on one side.... It got to a point he reported me to my siblings.

My advice for you though is to face your life, get the little help you can get from them Cox is their responsibility and you didn't beg them to born You.

However, channel your anger into seeing that you succeed in school and life. Start looking for little ways to make money. A similar experience from my mum made me define at 21yrs the type of life I wanted.

Channel Your anger into a winning spirit.

We've been there bro..
Where are those book smart of yesteryears and I'll show them the wealth and status of the dumb-sit-at-the-back-noisemakers of then

Just negodu this man!

Some people at 28 they are still writing jamb. What is wrong with kids of today?