Familylanders, Please how do you deal with cousins who demand alot from you and then get angry when you can't meet up with their demands?
I have Some cousins who do this, Let's say they're not very comfortable, and they demand alot from me and I eventually give in to their demands because they're the only family I have in country, Reason I give in is because they Stop communication and get crossed at me, so I eventually do their bidding.

Note that I can't even remember when last they gave me something They're always on the recieving end.

never give to anyone anything that will displease yourself.

don't let anybody emotionally blackmail u.

family is not important, family is EVERYTHING.

FINALLY, would u rather be the one begging or giving?
bocos my dear, in life, those roles can be reversed in a matter of seconds.

search your heart, make ur choice.

fykes:
never give to anyone anything that will displease yourself.

don't let anybody emotionally blackmail u.

family is not important, family is EVERYTHING.

FINALLY, would u rather be the one begging or giving?
bocos my dear, in life, those roles can be reversed in a matter of seconds.

search your heart, make ur choice.

To be honest I don't have a problem giving them the annoying thing his how they make a mountain out of it if it doesn't come early, I'm not the asking type even when I was married I don't ask my wife to buy me things with her money, Because why am I Working.

Lonelypacifist6:
Familylanders, Please how do you deal with cousins who demand alot from you and then get angry when you can't meet up with their demands?
I have Some cousins who do this, Let's say they're not very comfortable, and they demand alot from me and I eventually give in to their demands because they're the only family I have in country, Reason I give in is because they Stop communication and get crossed at me, so I eventually do their bidding.

Note that I can't even remember when last they gave me something They're always on the recieving end.

It.is because you are not a.strong-willed person. You don't owe them.a thing. You only give if you can afford. If you can't afford it, you shouldn't give a thing. If you don't stop allowing them manipulate you emotionally, you will live to regret it.

You are only responsible for your wife and kids; you can only consider extended family or in-laws if you have extra that you can spare.

Hmmmm...there is a huge wisdom in knowing when to say NO and stick with it. At the end of it all, everyman will be for himself while God will be for us all.

I believe they're taking advantage of my emotional vacuum being a that I'm recently divorced, this has been happening before but it's now intense, thanks.

Lonelypacifist6:
To be honest I don't have a problem giving them the annoying thing his how they make a mountain out of it if it doesn't come early, I'm not the asking type even when I was married I don't ask my wife to buy me things with her money, Because why am I Working.

Trials and temptation my dear bros, the caveat for u, is to always find a reason to overlook their actions and attitudes so as to maintain a clean heart towards them.
More grace!

They know you are lonely, anyways are you in Lagos? We can hit some nice bars around Lagos together ... who family help

Lonelypacifist6:
Familylanders, Please how do you deal with cousins who demand alot from you and then get angry when you can't meet up with their demands?
I have Some cousins who do this, Let's say they're not very comfortable, and they demand alot from me and I eventually give in to their demands because they're the only family I have in country, Reason I give in is because they Stop communication and get crossed at me, so I eventually do their bidding.

Note that I can't even remember when last they gave me something They're always on the recieving end.

Sorry oo, they're fleecing you because you're at your lowest emotional state.
Remedy: stop communication with the world, run to Jesus: only him can fill you up

Lonelypacifist6:
I believe they're taking advantage of my emotional vacuum being a that I'm recently divorced, this has been happening before but it's now intense, thanks.

Simply turn it around by calling them to ask for something you don't even need. As in, cry more than them for lack.

AwkaetitiBabe:
Simply turn it around by calling them to ask for something you don't even need. As in, cry more than them for lack.

What can I demand? they'll know I'm heckling them.

The solution is a simple one; make it a rule never to use servility to sustain a relationship with anyone - however, you can only maintain this rule if you are neither feeble-minded nor subjugable, nor a validation seeker. No matter what you do though, don't alienate your people. You can be humane without being subjugable - this is possible through mastery of checking and balancing altruism with conscientiousness.

Lonelypacifist6:
What can I demand? they'll know I'm heckling them.

Just demand for something. A big man can be in need too you know. I doubt if you stumble they'll be there to support u. So be wise.

Lonelypacifist6:
Familylanders, Please how do you deal with cousins who demand alot from you and then get angry when you can't meet up with their demands?
I have Some cousins who do this, Let's say they're not very comfortable, and they demand alot from me and I eventually give in to their demands because they're the only family I have in country, Reason I give in is because they Stop communication and get crossed at me, so I eventually do their bidding.

Note that I can't even remember when last they gave me something They're always on the recieving end.

The issue of demands from family members can not be ruled out

It depends on how you flaunt your self before them

But the worst is that you are managing and decided not to beg anyone makes it look as if you are ok

Well if you have half amount of their request, give it to them depending on the amount involve

But once you are married with kids, they will leave you alone

The irony is that relatives respect those who do not send them or look their way once in a while, talking from experience. They respect the once in a while appearance of those who make themselves scarce

frozen70:


The issue of demands from family members can not be ruled out

It depends on how you flaunt your self before them

But the worst is that you are managing and decided not to beg anyone makes it look as if you are ok

Well if you have half amount of their request, give it to them depending on the amount involve

But once you are married with kids, they will leave you alone

An unhealthy number of them do not leave you alone when married with kids rather they see an enemy in your wife, accusing her that she manipulated you into stopping to give them what you used to when you were single as they irrationally choose to ignore the reality that you now have your own family and added responsibilities.

Pavore9:


An unhealthy number of them do not leave you alone when married with kids rather they see an enemy in your wife, accusing her that she manipulated you into stopping to give them what you used to when you were single as they irrationally choose to ignore the reality that you now have your own family and added responsibilities.

That is the major reason to tell them if you can help or not

To save your wife from their accusations, if they come to you for favour, if its something you can do, say yes I will do it and make sure you do it because if you decided not to do it, you have put your wife in their hate book

If its something you can't do, say sorry I can't help and say it immediately not when they leave then they call to remind you about it you will now tell them that you can no longer help, you have put your wife as the person that changed your mind

do to others as they do to you.


at times when you don't demand for money, people assume you ate comfortable. so intentionally ask them to lend you money. if they give you, keep it as side, don't spend it,.. when they ask back, return that same money to them.. keep asking, the best way to prevent askers is to ask them

amaham:
Sorry oo, they're fleecing you because you're at your lowest emotional state.
Remedy: stop communication with the world, run to Jesus: only him can fill you up

Even Jesus sef dey still collect.
E be like na Jesus go collect pass em cousin dem sef

Logobenz:
Even Jesus sef dey still collect.
E be like na Jesus go collect pass em cousin dem sef

Back from Ban?

AwkaetitiBabe:
Back from Ban?

Was never on ban.
Just busy...

Logobenz:
Was never on ban.
Just busy...

OK