Hello great people in the house, please I need your enlightenment, I have a 5 years old daughter and I want to take custody of her, how can I go about it, what is Lagos state stands on child vustody, on what conditions can I take custody. Please any contributions will be highly welcomed.

lawanson2k3:
Hello great people in the house, please I need your enlightenment, I have a 5 years old daughter and I want to take custody of her, how can I go about it, what is Lagos state stands on child vustody, on what conditions can I take custody. Please any contributions will be highly welcomed.

Can you share info on the mother of your daughter, are you legally married to her?

No, we are not legally married, we were planning to get married when things went wrong.

Mehn... It's not gonna be easy... Cause my sister has a child too but not married... If the guy wants to take custody of the child, we would never release the child... Maybe you can talk to a lawyer friend if you have any...

Lamanii22:
Mehn... It's not gonna be easy... Cause my sister has a child too but not married... If the guy wants to take custody of the child, we would never release the child... Maybe you can talk to a lawyer friend if you have any...

You'll never release the child? Basically you are assuming you have more rights over the child than the biological father. Anyway, the law doesn't care what you think or want. If the father really wants to get his child I'd love to see how you will stop him.

lawanson2k3:
No, we are not legally married, we were planning to get married when things went wrong.

Well I will suggest that despite the strain on the relationship with her, I will encourage you to sit down with her and discuss the welfare of your daughter, visitations, creating a peaceful shared parenting plan etc but getting sole custody of the child is not likely because my own cousin who also lives in Lagos where he got married and has a daughter who is now 6 had issues as he separated with the wife when their daughter was 3, the wife moved out with their daughter and also stayed in Lagos. At first, he was regularly visiting the daughter until during one of his visits told the lady he was taking the daughter out to go buy snacks for her, only for my cousin to end up in the village with their daughter to stay with his mum. From Lagos, a signal was sent and he was arrested alongside his mum and the daughter reunited with the mother.

Approach any of the Social Welfare offices in Lagos and get their advice.

Lol, mothers always get primary custody by default, sorry to burst your bubble.

However, if you can provide proof that she is incapable of providing responsible parenting to the child, then you may be given primary custody.

What of in the situation whereby the environment the child is living I'd not conducive for her. They are like 8 people living in a shop owned by her grandfather, the grand parent, like 4 of their siblings, and like 3 grand children. The shop was demarcated, a portion is being used by the grandfather as tailoring shop , they are occupying the other half. Even the apartment doesn't have TV or DVD, they go to neighbours house to watch TV. I'm not cool with this, cos I feel the little girl can be a victim of sexual abuse. I'm confused right now. Pls I need your contributions.

KevinDein:

You'll never release the child? Basically you are assuming you have more rights over the child than the biological father. Anyway, the law doesn't care what you think or want. If the father really wants to get his child I'd love to see how you will stop him.

You think its a rocket science

A minor stays with the mum unless proven that she is unfit to take care of the child through
Health challenge
Lack of finances
Emotional state of mind

The other way is if she the mother willingly allows you to take custody of the child which most times is rare

Even the court will grant the child to the mum

lawanson2k3:
Hello great people in the house, please I need your enlightenment, I have a 5 years old daughter and I want to take custody of her, how can I go about it, what is Lagos state stands on child vustody, on what conditions can I take custody. Please any contributions will be highly welcomed.

Well, you have slim chances, your concern now is how to provide what she needs to take care of her, irrespective of your misunderstanding with her mum

Children are better of with their mum who understands them better

You need to start planning how to move on not really how to take custody of her

So if you take her, what do you want her mum to do

Loose your relationship and loose her daughter

My guy, no woman will agree

If you guys can't reconcile move on and don't forget to visit your daughter

If you don't trust the mum, go to her school and get the school contact number, pay directly to the school and keep your tellers

Even if she remarries, she will definitely take the child any home she is going to

If you go to court, you may not get anything out of it and you will still spend money

If you want her to come on holidays, tell the mum how long you want her to stay and when she will return back

If you do anything funny by whisking away with the child during the holidays period

You will definitely be charged for kidnapping your own child, I bet you will not like the out come because you must return the child back and still face prosecution and people will blame you

lawanson2k3:
What of in the situation whereby the environment the child is living I'd not conducive for her. They are like 8 people living in a shop owned by her grandfather, the grand parent, like 4 of their siblings, and like 3 grand children. The shop was demarcated, a portion is being used by the grandfather as tailoring shop , they are occupying the other half. Even the apartment doesn't have TV or DVD, they go to neighbours house to watch TV. I'm not cool with this, cos I feel the little girl can be a victim of sexual abuse. I'm confused right now. Pls I need your contributions.

This is not an excuse, do you know why

Because if you think you don't like their accommodation status, you rent an apartment for her to be staying with the child

Get a bed, fan and if possible a television if you so wishes

Be ready to be paying the rent as at when due

That won't stop her from bringing in a man to the house, any day you want to visit, notify her to avoid embarrassment

Give the child to the mother.

Why not discuss with the mother that you can provide a better environment for your child than where they are presently. Don't take the child away and keep with a 3rd party like grandparents pls.
Make sure you will be the one providing the care for your child .
Discuss your fears with the mother- the issue of over crowding and fears of molestation of your child. Let her know she can always visit the child and have her weekends unfailingly. For all you know, she may agree to the arrangement.
Go to the equivalent of children services and discuss your arrangements if you come to an agreement. Otherwise, still discuss with them about your fears and concerns.

No court and judge can give custody of a female child to the father knowing fully well that some guys are pedophilia and incest in nature. The worst that can happen Is to give the child to the welfare department. if the mother is not capable with series of proveable reason. With evidence.
So, is like you are one of the irresponsible father that all you know is to keep impregnating ladies out of wedlock and push them away.
If you are a responsible father, these scenario couldn't have happened. You will pay some money into the account of the child monthly for personal upkeep of both mother and the child....
If the lady in question should know the right thing to do, she will work jail for you through her lawyer.
These kind of your case is rampant in court this days and we need to preach against it. Men are just talk advantage of matured single Ladies everywhere.

lawanson2k3:
What of in the situation whereby the environment the child is living I'd not conducive for her. They are like 8 people living in a shop owned by her grandfather, the grand parent, like 4 of their siblings, and like 3 grand children. The shop was demarcated, a portion is being used by the grandfather as tailoring shop , they are occupying the other half. Even the apartment doesn't have TV or DVD, they go to neighbours house to watch TV. I'm not cool with this, cos I feel the little girl can be a victim of sexual abuse. I'm confused right now. Pls I need your contributions.

What do you have? I mean, are you financially capable of creating a conductive environment for your child. A place of your own, stable job or business, access to good education for her. You have two options: Get a lawyer or beg the mother. And how are you sure she will not get molested under your watch?

Get them another place if you can or leave them alone. Na inside that half room you meet am before u open eye give am belle

Gforce2015:
No court and judge can give custody of a female child to the father knowing fully well that some guys are pedophilia and incest in nature. The worst that can happen Is to give the child to the welfare department. if the mother is not capable with series of proveable reason. With evidence.
So, is like you are one of the irresponsible father that all you know is to keep impregnating ladies out of wedlock and push them away.
If you are a responsible father, these scenario couldn't have happened. You will pay some money into the account of the child monthly for personal upkeep of both mother and the child....
If the lady in question should know the right thing to do, she will work jail for you through her lawyer.
These kind of your case is rampant in court this days and we need to preach against it. Men are just talk advantage of matured single Ladies everywhere.

na God go punish your generation, if you don't have better contribution, please keep quiet. I can see you are so daft

lawanson2k3:
na God go punish your generation, if you don't have better contribution, please keep quiet. I can see you are so daft

Are you in pain. Take a sip of snipper syrup for your pain relieve.
I have told you the truth and you are angry. You can't be angry with a faceless person on social media. Because I'm not the cause of your brouhaha. It's your familys problem. And you are the one suffering the family Holocaust and disaster , no me..
With these your attitude, it's obvious you are the problem of the marriage and not the lady.
I pity your next female partner... because I can see miserable write around your entire life. And the miserable is generics and inherited....

Ode, oponu, olosho. O ni kuure!

lawanson2k3:
What of in the situation whereby the environment the child is living I'd not conducive for her. They are like 8 people living in a shop owned by her grandfather, the grand parent, like 4 of their siblings, and like 3 grand children. The shop was demarcated, a portion is being used by the grandfather as tailoring shop , they are occupying the other half. Even the apartment doesn't have TV or DVD, they go to neighbours house to watch TV. I'm not cool with this, cos I feel the little girl can be a victim of sexual abuse. I'm confused right now. Pls I need your contributions.

Dear Lawanson2k3,
I am happy to read you love your daughter and want to take care of her. She is a lucky girl to have a father who loves her so much. I also understand that you are worried and that you want the best for her. This is why you must be honest with yourself and ask if taking her away from her mother is in her best interest. Whatever went wrong with you and her mother must not interfere with your parental responsibilities. Ask yourself if the two of you can take care of the child together even though you are no longer in a relationship. Understand that a child needs both parents and unless her mother does not abuse her or cause her any harm whatsoever, it is is wrong to deprive your child of her mother's love and care. Many parents have shared custody and though things did not work out between them, they do a great job at co-parenting. You mentioned that the environment she is raised in right now is poor. Poverty in itself is not a reason to take a child away from their parents. If that was so many children would have to leave their parents. But I do understand you want to raise your child in better conditions. Have you discussed it with your ex? What does she think about it? Would she be willing to have your daughter live with you? And have you offered for her to visit the child regularly? If she does not agree to this arrangement, have you got the means to rent a nicer place for mother and child that is in close proximity to where you live so that you can see your girl as much as possible and have her sleep at your place at weekends?

Whatever went wrong with you and her mum understand that most mothers love their children and assume, unless you have good reasons to assume otherwise, that your ex wants the best for your child too. Why don't you trust her with the child? This is the person you once loved, didn't you? It is not an easy situation so make the best out of it and for the sake of your child try to maintain a cordial relationship with her mother. That's the least you can do. I pray her mother is mature enough to understand that the child needs her father too and lets you be a part of your daughter's life. I wish you and your little sweetheart the best.

lawanson2k3:
What of in the situation whereby the environment the child is living I'd not conducive for her. They are like 8 people living in a shop owned by her grandfather, the grand parent, like 4 of their siblings, and like 3 grand children. The shop was demarcated, a portion is being used by the grandfather as tailoring shop , they are occupying the other half. Even the apartment doesn't have TV or DVD, they go to neighbours house to watch TV. I'm not cool with this, cos I feel the little girl can be a victim of sexual abuse. I'm confused right now. Pls I need your contributions.

Living conditions is not enough reason for any court to grant you primary custody.

Let me give you ideas on things that can shift custody to you...but wait a minute, you are/were not even married to this chic, so I don't think you have a case to begin with.

However, I will humor you. Maybe, just maybe you will be lucky.

If you can prove:
1. She is mentally/psychologically unsound
2. She suffers from occasional bouts of depression
3. She has a history of violent behaviour on children
4. She is an alcoholic or addicted to pharmaceutical drugs
5. She is a hard smoker
6. She spends her nights partying with friends
7. She has dated and broken up with multiple guys within the last one year
8. She physically abuses your daughter in the name of discipline
9. There is a sex offender related to her living within that tiny space
10. She is unable to hold a steady job

Etc..


Remember though that alternatively, you will also prove how you are a suitable candidate for primary custody.
It goes both ways.

Keiris:


Dear Lawanson2k3,
I am happy to read you love your daughter and want to take care of her. She is a lucky girl to have a father who loves her so much. I also understand that you are worried and that you want the best for her. This is why you must be honest with yourself and ask if taking her away from her mother is in her best interest. Whatever went wrong with you and her mother must not interfere with your parental responsibilities. Ask yourself if the two of you can take care of the child together even though you are no longer in a relationship. Understand that a child needs both parents and unless her mother does not abuse her or cause her any harm whatsoever, it is is wrong to deprive your child of her mother's love and care. Many parents have shared custody and though things did not work out between them, they do a great job at co-parenting. You mentioned that the environment she is raised in right now is poor. Poverty in itself is not a reason to take a child away from their parents. If that was so many children would have to leave their parents. But I do understand you want to raise your child in better conditions. Have you discussed it with your ex? What does she think about it? Would she be willing to have your daughter live with you? And have you offered for her to visit the child regularly? If she does not agree to this arrangement, have you got the means to rent a nicer place for mother and child that is in close proximity to where you live so that you can see your girl as much as possible and have her sleep at your place at weekends?

Whatever went wrong with you and her mum understand that most mothers love their children and assume, unless you have good reasons to assume otherwise, that your ex wants the best for your child too. Why don't you trust her with the child? This is the person you once loved, didn't you? It is not an easy situation so make the best out of it and for the sake of your child try to maintain a cordial relationship with her mother. That's the least you can do. I pray her mother is mature enough to understand that the child needs her father too and lets you be a part of your daughter's life. I wish you and your little sweetheart the best.

thank you, I appreciate.

crackkhaus:

Living conditions is not enough reason for any court to grant you primary custody.

Let me give you ideas on things that can shift custody to you...but wait a minute, you are/were not even married to this chic, so I don't think you have a case to begin with.

However, I will humor you. Maybe, just maybe you will be lucky.

If you can prove:
1. She is mentally/psychologically unsound
2. She suffers from occasional bouts of depression
3. She has a history of violent behaviour on children
4. She is an alcoholic or addicted to pharmaceutical drugs
5. She is a hard smoker
6. She spends her nights partying with friends
7. She has dated and broken up with multiple guys within the last one year
8. She physically abuses your daughter in the name of discipline
9. There is a sex offender related to her living within that tiny space
10. She is unable to hold a steady job

Etc..


Remember though that alternatively, you will also prove how you are a suitable candidate for primary custody.
It goes both ways.

thank you , I appreciate