You want to use your hand to destroy your marriage because of another man. He's your husband not your boyfriend. He has 100% control of your life. As much as you do. I dont understand the role of privacy in marriage. "Two shall become one". Beside, there are some conversation that is not suppose to happen with an opposite sex when you're are married. Personally, it is better you walk away from a marriage that cheat. I'm not criticising you. It is just my opinion.

PrincessJoyy:
Good day Nairalanders, pls I need your urgent advice on my present predicament. It is going to be a long read so pls be patient with me.
Been married for 11 years now and it was love at the beginning. My husband has been loving and caring but after some years the romance began to dwindle and the love I had for my husband began to drop. I complained to him but he came up with the excuses that he had so much in mind especially catering for the family. It continued that way till my love tank for him became empty so to speak. December last year something happened, my husband came to me in the night asking for my forgiveness for not showing me the much desired attention and care that I deserved that we should let the past slide to begin afresh, then we started dating again, taking me out and the joy and happiness that once eluded me was restored. He however, kept tabs on my conversation and chats with a childhood male friend without my knowledge and what he deduced is we still have feelings for each other and our chats was full of regrets for not marrying each other and we called each other first love. He confronted me with his findings which I initially denied till he brought facts. I never had intimacy with this said guy which my husband knows being that my husband is the one that deflowered me. We ironed it out and settled the issue. My husband expected me to end whatever it was with the guy though he didn't say so directly. My chats and calls with this guy continued without my husbands knowledge, until last night when my husband asked me what I have with this guy, I told him nothing. He said I should choose between him and the guy. I should severe/cut all ties with this guy if I choose to be with him, so I asked why, he said no arguments that I should do what he asked me to do. After much talk, I discovered he saw my chats with the guy (the one I forgot to delete). I got angry at him for monitoring me and told him in annoyance to take his phone (he bought it for me) and give me the sim, which he quietly did but refused to give me the sims. I dragged with him but he overpowered me, I also tried to seize his phone but failed he even threatened to vacate the house for me at that ungodly hour if I continue with my madness. After a while, I apologized to him, he accepted the apology but refused to give me the phone. I am using my laptop to send this. How do I handle the situation for peace to reign. I don't know what he feels about me now. Sorry for the long write up. NB I told him in annoyance that he is monitoring my chats because he bought the phone for me that I'll buy mine and he said not in his house that I shouldn't dare

OP, you too judge yourself. Why are you so hellbent in the continued "relationship" with your childhood friend, and discussing intimate issues.

Your husband is a very calm man.

By the way, i appreciate your sincerity in the write-up.

crackkhaus:

See question

The feeling of being desired is something a lot of young married women love to explore. That even if they're married, they can still be the object of attraction for men...and whether it's just sexual attraction or genuine love, it doesn't matter.

It makes y'all feel good.

The feeling of been desired is a general human feeling.

Everyone wants to be desired

As a married woman/man, you automatically have only one person you should desire their desire.

The OP is very selfish. Hubby was romantic and she was in love. He stopped and instead of her to fetch the reserve in her love bank account and make the guy romantic again, she drained her love bank account waiting and turned to her ex.

The husband even came back to start afresh and madam continued with the ex instead of her to embrace her husband and build their love accounts again.

As it occurred to her that her husband stopped been romantic because his own love bank account is empty because she never gave and only took?

I don't know why some people like to solve a problem with another one.

Instead of her to invest her emotions making her husband romantic again, she decided to face an ex that did not love her enough to marry her.

Bet why are you still carrying on with the childhood love after being happily married? If your ways are indeed pure, you wouldn't have to be "chatting and deleting" like you were. Biko be guided...do not get carried away unnecessarily.

izzou:




I pity her, no be small.

After many knacks from the childhood friend, na to abandon am, and she will be neither here nor there

Fly we no dey hear word, na him dey follow dead body enter grave

Lol, she no well at all. I want to believe she is trolling. This is why God commanded the man to love o. When a man loves, e go hard for am to let go. Imagine if say her husband na one of these red pillers- this her mumuness done reach to end the marriage since na.

When them knack am twice, her blood go come down. Then she'll lose both men. Not like she ever had the childhood friend. Instead of her to help her husband to plan their retirement and rekindle what they had (after 11yrs in marriage), she dey mumu. Toor!

I don't know how to say this without being harsh but you are a very stupid woman...what is it that your husband must have done that you cant forgive him... And one thing most women don't know is that all men probably reason the same way...that your so called childhood friend will also be seeing you as a hoe....she just kept the other one there not for anything but just as something or someone to "console" herself that she has someone outside after all if anything happens someone is waiting for me outside that kinda thing ...mumu

bukatyne:


The feeling of been desired is a general human feeling.

Everyone wants to be desired

As a married woman/man, you automatically have only one person you should desire their desire.

The OP is very selfish. Hubby was romantic and she was in love. He stopped and instead of her to fetch the reserve in her love bank account and make the guy romantic again, she drained her love bank account waiting and turned to her ex.

The husband even came back to start afresh and madam continued with the ex instead of her to embrace her husband and build their love accounts again.

As it occurred to her that her husband stopped been romantic because his own love bank account is empty because she never gave and only took?

I don't know why some people like to solve a problem with another one.

Instead of her to invest her emotions making her husband romantic again, she decided to face an ex that did not love her enough to marry her.

@bold, it's easier said than done.

By the time the OP receives her exes' rod two or three times, her sight will be clearer HOPEFULLY.
Hopefully because, when it comes to women who find themselves in situations like this, you can never know what those emotions can make them do. I mean, I know of a young married woman who met a guy and the only thing she kept telling him was how they should run away together even after they had started having sex, she just did not want it to end there.

I could not believe my ears when I heard the gist.

When people say a cheating wife is far worse than a cheating husband, they're not far from the truth.
The OP does not have any deep feelings for her husband anymore, as is usually the case for any married woman who develops feelings for another man. Unlike men who can have deep feelings for two women equally for different reasons, it is very difficult for a woman to have deep feelings for two men at the same time.
Those who can accomplish it are gamers or career hos...quote me anywhere.

Your emotional reservoirs were not built with those kind of specifications.

Don't be stubborn... Respect your husband's wishes... Stop talking to that guy... The more you keep connection with that other guy.. The more you start developing feelings for him... So my dear, no one's that disciplined, it takes a split second to cheat.. You're the only one who can make peace reign.. Your husband simply want your undivided attention...

How do you handle the situation?
Cut the guy loose. Block him. Ignore him. Tell him those conversations are over. Concentrate on your family and let him move the fvck on.

Can’t believe you created a thread for this.

Pls NLanders I need ur help unseeing this trash?

Are you OK madam? Which nonsense child hood friend is that? Respect yourself and stop communicating with that friend of yours. Your husband even tried. What you are brewing, when it is ready, you will not be able to digest it. Mind yourself, you no try, honestly!