Good evening NL family, i am a fresh graduate looking for job and since they base in kano, I decided to stay with them considering the fact that kano is more industrialized than bauchi
My sister met her husband during her ND days in bauchi and they started dating, after her ND she started teaching in a private school before she can continue with her education, she had a computer shop back then as she teach, she was an ND holder and her boyfriend was a SSCE holder, who all he does was jus to drink alcohol to stupor, he always comes to our house and stay till evening and gist with my mum, so my sister and everyone else considered him a good man. After few years of dating my sister got pregnant for him, she gave birth and after breastfeeding her child, she finished up her HND program in poly bauchi.shortly after her HND she got a job with National industrial court of Nigeria kano division and she and her boyfriend relocated to bauchi. He is good in driving since his father was among the few rich men back then in the says, so he got a driving license for himself and started driving for a company as they settled here in kano, they got married and had their second child, and after everything they decided to enter contributions of which after they park the contribution my sister suggested they build a shop in the village for renting but the husband refused and decided they buy a car with the money, I was doing my NYSC then of which she even told me abt it, but I told her if that's what her husband wants let them buy the car.
Fast forward after buying the car, they had not yet finished the contribution then her Husband lost his job, after loosing his job, my sister told him to start using the car for uber, but he refused as he feels too big for it, nevertheless before they bought the car, my sister already have a grinding machine and some few shop for akara, she employed a woman to be doing the akara for her as she take care of her job and the grinding machine. As of now, this man is still staying at home jobless, while my sister struggles to feed the family, pay the children fees and sometimes he even steal her money to buy recharge card and be chatting on social media
One faithful day my sister begged him to please consider the situations at hand and at least try to use the car to help her and he agreed, he took the car, she fueled it for him and he take his way straight to bauchi and told him mum that my sister is disrespecting him jus because he loose hi job, his mum called my sister and my sister explained the real truth for her and the mum chases him away telling him to go and take care of his family first, she gave him 10k to fuel his car, he used the Money for fuel and did not even picked a single persenger on his way to kano, he told her these things himself as he boast of being a big man driving alone in his car. This same man can even fetch water for the whole house when the water system is having a problem, he washes plate, children's cloth among others
I can't write all I have experienced in this house, but these are jus the very few I can write
Please nairalanders, how can I help in this kind of situation,I am jus a teacher in a private school as I keep looking up for a good job
Please oga lalasticala



Lalasticala help me push it to FP

Headache is real.

Is your sister complaining?

Why must you bring your family matters to NL?


So many stupid decision these days

If he helps her in house chores then he isn't lazy


Her husband went to report your sister to his mum but ended reporting himself.

If he listens to his mum, ur sister should seek her mother-in-law's help so she can advise her son. If he doesn't listen to the mum let the mum or ur sister find out who he listens to n has great respect for(I bliv every1 does have 1 person like dat).

The person shud approach him with the issue applying wisdom to avoid a case of "you went to report me abi? Just because I lost my job".

Uber isn't a bad idea. He should come down from his high horse abeg. For the sake of those innocent kids he brought into this world.

Caution bro, just be "invisible" in the whole drama. Advice ur sister to apply wisdom don't b visibly involved. Take k.

NeoWanZaeed:
Is your sister complaining?

Why must you bring your family matters to NL?


So many stupid decision these days

my sister is really feeling the heat bro, is not easy on her own side

meum:
If he helps her in house chores then he isn't lazy

nairaland and funny comments sha

namiji2598:
my sister is really feeling the heat bro, is not easy on her own side

Find an elderly person to discuss with not NL..

Even adults on here.. are mostly childish.

you just insulted ur sef,sis and him....cos na ur inlaw him be.u said he is lazy..was shocked to read, he lost his job...u made it look like he never worked b4 all his life....u no be him GOD...1day he will get anoda job...make una rest...shina peters sang in 1 of his songs"if money no dey 2day,money go come o".

namiji2598:


Please nairalanders, how can I help in this kind of situation,I am jus a teacher in a private school as I keep looking up for a good job
Please oga lalasticala

You said a mouthful about the guy..... some of the things he been doing.... house chores basically. So what was left for you to do? We're waiting to hear how you are of help to your sister. Did you consider going and help out in one of the shops? You are in their home... do you know if the husband is a bit frustrated because your presence is preventing them from having freedom of fun in their own home? I suggest you give the people their privacy and stop being observer and reporter. Let her be the one to reach out for advice if she needs it.

Op... you're nothing but a physical parasite to that family...your 8red for your inlaw is so appalling.

He isn't lazy...not he has ego.
Pls kindly leave the couple to settle their issues themselves.

Udo!

Originalsly:


You said a mouthful about the guy..... some of the things he been doing.... house chores basically. So what was left for you to do? We're waiting to hear how you are of help to your sister. Did you consider going and help out in one of the shops? You are in their home... do you know if the husband is a bit frustrated because your presence is preventing them from having freedom of fun in their own home? I suggest you give the people their privacy and stop being observer and reporter. Let her be the one to reach out for advice if she needs it.

the house is big enough for all of us, and the last I tried leaving, he personally begged me to stay that he likes me staying with them, and like I said I am still job hunting, I do teach in a private school for now. I usually do help in every way it seems possible, be it financial or house chores too or sometimes with the grinding machine

namiji2598:

the house is big enough for all of us, and the last I tried leaving, he personally begged me to stay that he likes me staying with them, and like I said I am still job hunting, I do teach in a private school for now. I usually do help in every way it seems possible, be it financial or house chores too or sometimes with the grinding machine

Your sister... and your parents saw the writings on the wall before she got pregnant.... before she got married. How much more would they expect from a pampered son of the rich? Do you really expect him to hurt his pride by being seen engaged in jobs beneath his royal status? Good luck on getting him to eat humble pie.... some people know it's good for them.... but just can't bring themselves to swallow such. That's his problem.

I hope you don't end up chasing your sis away from her matrimonial home.

Oríṣiríṣi

Family matters!

Your sister saw the kind of person she was before getting pregnant and marrying him.
Whatever it is she admired about him,let her console herself with it
Your sister's husband is just those kind of people who don't pull their weight

Interesting...

So basically, he is a househusband who has no problem doing the chores, as long as his wife takes care of all the finances.

I thought this arrangement is what modern women desire when they're the breadwinner?
Why is she complaining?
Lol, una never see anything.

Gender equality is a scam



Cc: Bukatyne

Richy4:
There’s a fine line between being lazy and an Ego as high as mount Everest.. what u have narrated in my opinion is not what I can call being lazy…

Or sometimes, people hide their laziness behind having an ego.

There is a point where your hardworking attitude (or hustling spirit...if you are TRULY not a lazy person) overrides your pride when one sees what is at stake and who is bearing the brunt. But this OP is not serious. Not everything should be brought to NL.

No lazy husband helps with house chores. Learn to appreciate your brother in law for the little he's doing. At least he helps with the chores. What if he doesn't?

What exactly do you want ?
After narrating everything u said, u are just a school teacher, do you want to give them money or what

NeoWanZaeed:
Is your sister complaining?
Why must you bring your family matters to NL?

So many stupid decision these days

Exactly my point oo, it's better to leave the happy family alone...

I love the fact that your sister is so hardworking...


Ahah I didn't Even finish the story. He even helps in the house... Wow your sister should count herself lucky, some men wouldn't even help around the house.. OP just keep marking students scripts and leave your sister's family alone...

I know a similar case to this one, only that the ones I know come from benue
The woman is also very hardworking and peace loving and that's what the man is hanging on to continue being lazy, this man in my own story does not even help with chores, it is a relative staying with them that takes care if the kids and housework while the man sleeps all day.

For up to two years now. The guy briefly ventured into uber business but after his car got stolen and recovered after 24hrs, he gave up and has been staying at home since.

I don't know why many people are playing ostrich about the fact that a lot of married man are lazy parasites .

So within this short stay with them u have already known their marital problems? U see why some partners don't like their in-laws visiting? Oga/madam my advice for u is to focus on ur job search and leave ur sister's marriage issues. Don't be the third party that will cause this marriage to break up. Ur sister knew her husband very well from the start and they hav been getting along notwithstanding. At least u didn't mention domestic violence even though the man had been an acoholic way before they got married. So what's the fuss about? U are now finding faults here and there cos u are close abi? Steer clear of this union. Find ur job in peace or better still go get married and handle it the best way u think and leave ur sister to handle her own. Thank you.

nahzyla:
I know a similar case to this one, only that the ones I know come from benue
The woman is also very hardworking and peace loving and that's what the man is hanging on to continue being lazy, this man in my own story does not even help with chores, it is a relative staying with them that takes care if the kids and housework while the man sleeps all day.

For up to two years now. The guy briefly ventured into uber business but after his car got stolen and recovered after 24hrs, he gave up and has been staying at home since.

I don't know why many people are playing ostrich about the fact that a lot of married man are lazy parasites .

for my sister and her husband, they love each other so much, I am pretty sure of that
But this man ahhhhhh, if not that he likes me much and Cant's stand me leaving I would have left since self, jus the lazy aspects even if their is no food on the table he don't care, cos my sis occupy a very good office in the court but the financial problem is too much for her to bear

Kenoxman:
So within this short stay with them u have already known their marital problems? U see why some partners don't like their in-laws visiting? Oga/madam my advice for u is to focus on ur job search and leave ur sister's marriage issues. Don't be the third party that will cause this marriage to break up. Ur sister knew her husband very well from the start and they hav been getting along notwithstanding. At least u didn't mention domestic violence even though the man had been an acoholic way before they got married. So what's the fuss about? U are now finding faults here and there cos u are close abi? Steer clear of this union. Find ur job in peace or better still go get married and handle it the best way u think and leave ur sister to handle her own. Thank you.

I have been staying with them for so long, for the past three years, even during my undergraduate days, he usually calls me to come around, his kids likes me much and they always prefer having me around than any other family member and talking abt domestic violence, there is none

Thanks for the advice

Lamanii22:
I love the fact that your sister is so hardworking...


Ahah I didn't Even finish the story. He even helps in the house... Wow your sister should count herself lucky, some men wouldn't even help around the house.. OP just keep marking students scripts and leave your sister's family alone...

lol. Thank u madam, I better focus on my script

sholay2011:

Or sometimes, people hide their laziness behind having an ego.

There is a point where your hardworking attitude (or hustling spirit...if you are TRULY not a lazy person) overrides your pride when one sees what is at stake and who is bearing the brunt. But this OP is not serious. Not everything should be brought to NL.

this is my first post on nairaland self, I have been thinking abt the whole shit, I never see such man for my life and that's why I decided sharing, thanks anyway

Originalsly:


Your sister... and your parents saw the writings on the wall before she got pregnant.... before she got married. How much more would they expect from a pampered son of the rich? Do you really expect him to hurt his pride by being seen engaged in jobs beneath his royal status? Good luck on getting him to eat humble pie.... some people know it's good for them.... but just can't bring themselves to swallow such. That's his problem.

but this same man that is feeling too big, can operate a grinding machine freely when no body is at home, cos when my sis goes to office and I goes to school, and customers comes looking, he did the grinding for them in front of everybody, with no Shame or ego

namiji2598:
Good evening NL family, i am a fresh graduate looking for job and since they base in kano, I decided to stay with them considering the fact that kano is more industrialized than bauchi
My sister met her husband during her ND days in bauchi and they started dating, after her ND she started teaching in a private school before she can continue with her education, she had a computer shop back then as she teach, she was an ND holder and her boyfriend was a SSCE holder, who all he does was jus to drink alcohol to stupor, he always comes to our house and stay till evening and gist with my mum, so my sister and everyone else considered him a good man. After few years of dating my sister got pregnant for him, she gave birth and after breastfeeding her child, she finished up her HND program in poly bauchi.shortly after her HND she got a job with National industrial court of Nigeria kano division and she and her boyfriend relocated to bauchi. He is good in driving since his father was among the few rich men back then in the says, so he got a driving license for himself and started driving for a company as they settled here in kano, they got married and had their second child, and after everything they decided to enter contributions of which after they park the contribution my sister suggested they build a shop in the village for renting but the husband refused and decided they buy a car with the money, I was doing my NYSC then of which she even told me abt it, but I told her if that's what her husband wants let them buy the car.
Fast forward after buying the car, they had not yet finished the contribution then her Husband lost his job, after loosing his job, my sister told him to start using the car for uber, but he refused as he feels too big for it, nevertheless before they bought the car, my sister already have a grinding machine and some few shop for akara, she employed a woman to be doing the akara for her as she take care of her job and the grinding machine. As of now, this man is still staying at home jobless, while my sister struggles to feed the family, pay the children fees and sometimes he even steal her money to buy recharge card and be chatting on social media
One faithful day my sister begged him to please consider the situations at hand and at least try to use the car to help her and he agreed, he took the car, she fueled it for him and he take his way straight to bauchi and told him mum that my sister is disrespecting him jus because he loose hi job, his mum called my sister and my sister explained the real truth for her and the mum chases him away telling him to go and take care of his family first, she gave him 10k to fuel his car, he used the Money for fuel and did not even picked a single persenger on his way to kano, he told her these things himself as he boast of being a big man driving alone in his car. This same man can even fetch water for the whole house when the water system is having a problem, he washes plate, children's cloth among others
I can't write all I have experienced in this house, but these are jus the very few I can write
Please nairalanders, how can I help in this kind of situation,I am jus a teacher in a private school as I keep looking up for a good job
Please oga lalasticala



Lalasticala help me push it to FP

frankly, I don't see the problem. At least the husband does all the house chores and is content with doing all that. He is making a contribution rather than sitting doing nothing. He doesn't want to do the man's job of providing for his family. She should calm down and be the breadwinner, let the man be a househusband m

As she made her bed, let her lie on it.

She decided to marry someone below her educational status, she decided to marry someone who talks with women all day. I will not be surprised if this husband was raised by a single mum. She married down, instead of marrying up, how can someone below you lead your family.

The truth is that your sister married an effeminate hobosexual who will rather let a woman feed him. Let him rest in his feminine while your sister rests in her masculine.

If I were the sister, I would leave the husband in charge of the grinding machine and akara business (not ownership o). He must make a certain percentage and bring home every week after expenses, he is then free to spend the rest of the profit himself. It's a feminine jobs but he seems up to task.