I'm a father of 3 guys all from the same from the same mother but totally different in attitude, looks, reasoning, likes and dislikes.

When I had my first son, my wife and I celebrated to the high heaven that our prayers has been answered. Because conceiving was a challenge to us. We had our son almost 30 years into marriage, which was an period of mutual respect, fights, love and understanding between my wife and I.

Being an African Muslim with a Christian wife, in the early 30s, both from a big family. The pressure was so tense that in fact wifey had to go not of our liking, but, for pressure from both families that the other partner was the problem.

The level of enlightenment then was low, and no good medical know how to diagnose the problem. But both families has been told by their Almighty God that the other was the problem, this brought out lots of mistrust, lies, supporters and haters from both families.



Now her family have given her ultimatum, to leave this useless man that cant even impregnate a damsel like you, only God's know what you see him that you're still there wasting your life.



About 28 years into our marriage, one lovely Friday evening at about 10pm while seating in the courtyard thinking about my life, I should be in my early 50s or late 40s then. Wondering what have i done to deserve this in my life?


A day before my wife would leave, I said, God I have tried my best for you, I have helped many, I have worship You to the best of my abilities, I know am not perfect, but I don't deserve this. Yes I live a comfortable life, but I have no heirs. My wive is a good woman, even if it's not for my sake, she deserve your consideration. She is going through a lot, she has served You to the best of her abilities. I can see the worries, fear, changes in her, and the pressure she is going through from both families. She is in a dilemma, she knows not where to go.

My wife came out of the house to seat by my side and said Dee (that's what she calls me), I came out here to discuss this matter for the last time, I know you know what am talking about, and I asked her gently, is it about the ultimatum from your family? She said yes, then I said if its about the ultimatum, any decision she takes, am ok with it, maybe we should try other options. Left to us, I know we can manage the situation, but families have gone too far on each other, so just do what you think is best for you.

Dee you know everything, we've discussed this matter severely, we've both received many threats, insults and you know now, they are saying your mun killed my mum because of the last threat she gave her when my mum insulted you. I think it's best I leave so that both families will have peace. I totally agreed with her, and supported her decision. Since you've finally made up your mind, I suggested we discuss on how to move on with life.

We discuss on how we should try and cope in the absence of each other, she offered she will still be sending me food and stocking my house and if I should need anything, I should just send for her, and jokely added, till they find that woman they promised you that is touch and gooo.....

WTF
Cont.

This is interestingly interesting!

God bless your family.

[s]

post=86771692:
This is interestingly interesting!

God bless your family.

[/s]

You guys really tried. Besides my wifey calls me Dee too

However, I'm blessed with twin boys 9 months immediately after wedding.

Dem don turn my house in a sweet upsidedown manner.

I'm their playmate, brother and wifey is their sister. . .I love children so much.

A little background on our families, while I am from a predominantly Muslim community who are majorly into farming and trading. My father happens to be one of richest person in town due to his trading activities beyond our communities.

On one of our journeys with him to a neighbouring community, he suggested we stop by and see one of his business associates, whom happened to be my wife father. My wife community happens to be majority Christians and my wife father is not only one of the richest person but also a community leader.

When we got their house my father shouted where is this my boy, come out and greet your oga, and her father replied I have always told you, you don't have home training and both bursted out laughing giving jibes to each other. My father then told him we are actually on our home but just stopped by to greet him and show his son the wife he told him about, yes my father has told me about a friend's daughter he will like me to marry but never told me that's where are heading to.

The father looked at me and asked is he your son? Which father answered yes, then he continued by saying but I have told you your son can't marry my daughter because we don't worship the same God. My father now said I know we worship the same God though differently that shouldn't stop our kids from marrying. Let give them the choice to chose whom they want to marry. All I asked of you is to allow my son present himself. At this point i was beginning to get agitated and angry, me that am a local champion in my community, that all I need do is just point to any girl and that's all. Her father looked at me again, am sorry I don't think my daughter will be interested in your son. My dad replied I will be ok if I hear that from her, let her say it.

The father now send for the daughter since my dad insisted, I almost told my dad to forget it that am not interested too, but due to respect I kept quiet, but quite angry inside. Immediately she came in, she greeted my dad and my dad told her this is my son your husband i have been telling you about. Initially i didn't want to look at her, but for the voice i had to look up to be sure where this beautiful voice is coming from, our eyes lock on each other's, was waiting for her to look else where but she refused and looked directly into my eyes, don't know for how long then I heard her dad asked her do you want him to come back? She looked deeply into me and kept quiet. The father then repeated the question again and added we need to know now so that we don't waste people time, still looking into my eyes, she said if he wants..

hasyak:
A little background on our families, while I am from a predominantly Muslim community who are majorly into farming and trading. My father happens to be one of richest person in town due to his trading activities beyond our communities.

On one of our journeys with him to a neighbouring community, he suggested we stop by and see one of his business associates, whom happened to be my wife father. My wife community happens to be majority Christians and my wife father is not only one of the richest person but also a community leader.

When we got their house my father shouted where is this my boy, come out and greet your oga, and her father replied I have always told you, you don't have home training and both bursted out laughing giving jibes to each other. My father then told him we are actually on our home but just stopped by to greet him and show his son the wife he told him about, yes my father has told me about a friend's daughter he will like me to marry but never told me that's where are heading to.

The father looked at me and asked is he your son? Which father answered yes, then he continued by saying but I have told you your son can't marry my daughter because we don't worship the same God. My father now said I know we worship the same God though differently that shouldn't stop our kids from marrying. Let give them the choice to chose whom they want to marry. All I asked of you is to allow my son present himself. At this point i was beginning to get agitated and angry, me that am a local champion in my community, that all I need do is just point to any girl and that's all. Her father looked at me again, am sorry I don't think my daughter will be interested in your son. My dad replied I will be ok if I hear that from her, let her say it.

The father now send for the daughter since my dad insisted, I almost told my dad to forget it that am not interested too, but due to respect I kept quiet, but quite angry inside. Immediately she came in, she greeted my dad and my dad told her this is my son your husband i have been telling you about. Initially i didn't want to look at her, but for the voice i had to look up to be sure where this beautiful voice is coming from, our eyes lock on each other's, was waiting for her to look else where but she refused and looked directly into my eyes, don't know for how long then I heard her dad asked her do you want him to come back? She looked deeply into me and kept quiet. The father then repeated the question again and added we need to know now so that we don't waste people time, still looking into my eyes, she said if he wants..

I love this

Love at first sight. Continue my dear brother

Interesting. Can't wait for the next episode. I'm a sucker for Love!!

On our way home, father asked me, so what do you think about her? I really didn't know what to say, she seems to be out of my league and the behaviour of the father wasn't encouraging. I told my father I don't think the father will agree, from the way he behaved i guess we should just forget about it.

My son don't you ever give up on what you truly believe you deserve, don't worry about the father opinion, if you like her just go ahead and talk to her, didn't you noticed the way she looked at you? And said you can if want to see her again. I said dad she only said that because she wants to be diplomatic in our presence. The way she looked at me I could feel her eyes searching for my soul, at a stage I almost told why are you looking at me like this? My father laughed out loud and said you still don't understand women, I know that girl, if she wasn't interested in you, she would have said it clearly, didn't you noticed her father reaction when she said you can come and visit her? I said I didn't because she locked my eyes throughout our brief encounter.

We finally got home, to my great surprise my mum called me and asked how was our encounter with Ladi (that's her name) and I narrated all that transpired, then she asked what do you think of her? I said I just saw her for the first time and we didn't even exchange any word so how can I make a decision about her? Mum said I know, I want to know your perception about her from your mind. I thought for a while, then said honesty, initially because of the way the father was behaving I almost lost interest, but when she spoke, her voice was something else, and the way she looked at me, no one has ever looked at me that way. She definitely not the most beautiful girl I have seen, but something is telling me she's the one.

From that moment on I can't just get her face out of my head, and i looked forward to seeing and hearing her voice again...

A week or so after our visit to my wife family, I went to a neighboring town for business on behalf of dad.

While I was at merchant shop negotiating, I heard a voice that I knew can only be hers asking for the merchant, then I turned to see her for the second time, the moment our eyes lock again. I didn't know how the words came out of my mouth, i said my wife how are you doing today?

She smiled and said my husband am doing great laughing, and added what happen, we didn't see you again. I told her I have been very busy but actually thinking of coming to see her by the weekend. Surprisedly, we spoke as if we have been on talking terms for long, I found it very natural to talk with her, even though we have different perceptions.

We spoke for over an hour, asking questions about each life, family, business and current affairs. When it time for her to leave I promised to check her by the weekend.

From that moment I knew I have to marry her, because I now appreciate her more because of her way of thinking and views to life from my little interaction with her.

When I got back home, I went straight to my father and I told him of my meeting with her, and also told him how I find her very interesting. My dad smiled and said but I told you...


A day to my visit, I went and met my mum and told tomorrow am going to see Asabe tomorrow, what do you think I get for her? She smiled and said son you know that family can't be impressed with material things, so I will suggest you just get her something personal, I have ring your Dad gave me when he proposed, I will give you that to give to her. But mum am just meeting her for the third time and you want me to propose? Boy since you met this girl you haven't been yourself. So why waste time, go ahead and give her if she reject it then you know where you stand.

That night I couldn't sleep, trying to figure out how I want our conversation to go, practicing how I hope to propose.

By morning I felt so strong even without good sleep, got ready, went and greet my parent and told them am going to see my wife and hopefully propose. They wished me good luck and prayed for the best for me.

I arrived their house around 11am, saw a little boy playing outside, told him to please call Asabe for me. He just stood there and shout her name that someone is here to see her. I felt awkward, why most he announce to the whole house that am around.

Few moments later she came out and greeted me and invited me in. I suggested we sit outside but she insisted we go inside. Inside the house was big, simple and classy. We sat at corner in the parlor, where 2 seat facing each and a little stool between. For a moment we just sat looking at each other, all what I have cram faded and was tongue tied. Then she broke the ice by saying how was my trip?

RighteousYordy:
[s][/s]

What's with the cyber bullying

I told her CV I had a nice trip, since all my thoughts since I left home was about her. She smiled and said what are my thoughts on her all about? Since I will not like to start our relationship based on lies, I will tell you the truth, am here to propose to you if you will marry me. She looked straight into my eyes for a while and said are you serious? I replied, unless you want me to lie, then I will say am not.

She kept looking straight into my eyes expressionless, l felt naked as if she could read my mind, then she smiled and said we just met, you don't really know me, and I don't know you either, I think we need to know ourselves better before we start talking of such. I told her I understand her position, I felt that way earlier but when my mother insisted I propose, I felt it's ok. So that you know my thoughts from the beginning. I already know your thoughts she replies, from the first day i saw you, I have had a strange feeling about you, but it just nor clear what it is yet, I think we need time to get to know ourselves better.

I will like to ask you some questions, for start prove to me to you are serious? I was thinking wondering what will I say or do to show am serious, for a while I was confused, didn't know what to say or do to prove am serious. Then I remembered the ring my mum gave me and felt relieved, put my hand in my pocket brought out the ring and handed over to her...

This sounds very old school but the mode of meetup is very interesting and of moral standard. Something you hardly see these days.
Wish we can go back to this form of meeting up.

Nice piece OP.

This story started one year ago? Did it go on lockdown?

Staying tuned!

it is time for me to find that ring that my mum barely wears

Good, pls continue.

hasyak:
In told her CV I had a nice trip, since all my thoughts since I left home was about her. She smiled and said what are my thoughts on her all about? Since I will not like to start our relationship based on lies, I will tell you the truth, am here to propose to you if you will marry me. She looked straight into my eyes for a while and said are you serious? I replied, unless you want me to lie, then I will say

Thanks for sharing...I learnt something from your writeup

“She took the ring from my hand and looked at it for a while, then looked straight into my eyes for a moment and said, ‘So you are serious?’ I didn’t know what to say, so I just smiled and she smiled too.

Neither of us spoke for a while as she continued to examine the ring. Then she asked, ‘Where did you get the ring from?’ Before I could answer, she said, ‘It looks unique and old.’ I explained that my mother gave it to me, that it’s the ring my father gave her when they got married. She remained silent for a while, then stood up and said, ‘Let me arrange something for you to eat.’ Before I could respond, she got up and left.

I was left alone in the parlor, wondering if I had moved too quickly. Then I noticed the ring on the chair where she had been sitting. Various negative thoughts started to flood my mind. Does she not like me? Does she already have someone else? I began to regret allowing my parents to push me into this situation, feeling confused about what to do.

As I was about to pick up the ring, I heard footsteps approaching the door she had gone out of. Thinking it was her, I sat back down. I heard a female voice say, ‘Good afternoon,’ but I could tell it wasn’t her voice. I turned and saw two young girls, the youngest of whom greeted me. I responded and exchanged pleasantries with them. The eldest girl mentioned that her younger sister had told her that I was Alhaji Baba’s son. I nodded, unsure of where this was heading. She introduced herself as Fabi, Ladi’s elder sister, and pointed to the younger girl, introducing her as Mami.

They sat in the seats opposite me, where Ladi had been sitting, and asked how my parents were doing, smiling. I told them they were doing well. Fabi then said, ‘Do you know your dad is a very funny man?’ I smiled and asked why she thought so. She laughed and said that since she was young, whenever he would visit, he would always call her his wife and tell her dad that he would marry her. She would always refuse, but one day when he came around and she was with Ladi, who was about 5 years old at the time, he called her his wife again. This time, Ladi said she would marry him because he always gave them gifts. He told her he was too old to marry her, but he had a son who would marry her. I smiled and told her that my dad had always told me he had a beautiful wife waiting for me, especially when he returned from a journey. We all burst out laughing.

I felt at ease chatting with Ladi’s elder sister. After a while, Ladi joined us, but I noticed she wasn’t saying anything and seemed preoccupied with finding something on the seat. She asked her sisters to stand up, and her elder sister asked what she was looking for. Ladi said she thought she left something on the seat. As soon as her youngest sister stood up, her elder sister saw the ring and asked, ‘Where did you get that from? Please let me see it.’ Ladi handed the ring to her elder sister. Fabi looked at it and said, ‘Wow, it’s beautiful. Where did you get it from?’ Ladi remained silent, ignoring her sister. Fabi looked at me with an inquisitive smile and asked, ‘Is it from you?’ I smiled and nodded. The youngest sister, who had been quiet the entire time, excitedly said, ‘Please please let see it.
As soon as Fabi handed over the ring to her, she stood up, running and shouting, “Mummy, mummy!” Ladi called out to her to come back, but she was already gone. I wondered how all of this would play out, feeling a bit confused. Fabi looked at me and asked, “What is it for? Is it a gift or something else?” with a smile on her face. I didn’t know how to respond, so I told her that it was for Ladi and she knows what it is for. Fabi then turned to Ladi and asked her the same questions, but Ladi remained silent, smiling.

While Fabi was still questioning us about the ring, their mother walked in with Mami. I stood up, greeted her, and we exchanged pleasantries. She asked me where I got the ring from. I explained that my mother gave it to me to give to Ladi. She remained quiet for a while, then turned towards Ladi and asked her, “Do you know what this ring means?” Ladi nodded in response. Their mother then asked, “And you accepted it without informing your parents?” Ladi stayed silent. She then looked at me and said, “But your mom knows that this ring is only given to a wife on the wedding day.” I didn’t know what to say at that moment. She continued, “I’m sure when their father comes back, you will get a response, young man. But for now, I suggest you keep the ring until you hear from us.” Before I could even think of a response, Ladi told her mother, “I have already accepted the ring...”

"The mother clapped her hands, expressionless, and said, 'Ladi, I hope you understand what accepting this ring means?' Ladi replied, 'I think so.' 'So, what do you think it means?' her mother asked. 'Mum, I do,' Ladi responded. 'I hope you do,' the mother deadpanned.

She then went and sat beside Ladi, placing her hands on her shoulder, and said, 'These things are not done like this, my dear. We have traditions here with procedures for such matters. I'm just meeting this young man for the first time. I know his father has always called me his in-law, but that doesn't mean we shouldn't follow our traditions. Normally, both families must have agreed before such matters are brought up. We've never discussed this issue as a family. How do you want your father to feel, knowing his position on marrying outside?' Ladi didn't respond.

The mother turned to me and looked at me for a while, saying nothing. My mind went blank. I tried to say something, but couldn't think of what to say. Then she said, 'My young man, what's your name?' I told her my name is Yah. 'I can't believe we're discussing such matters on our first meeting,' she said. 'Anyway, for your information, we have our traditions here when it comes to such matters. But since she has accepted the ring, that means she has accepted you. However, as a family, we haven't discussed this matter before. You just ambushed me,' she exclaimed, raising her hands in the air. I don't know if it was the way she said it or the hopeless look on her face that made all of us start laughing, somehow easing the tension in the room.

She continued, 'As I was saying earlier, we have our traditions, and such matters need to be discussed within the family before we can respond as a family. So, please tell your parents we have received your message, and we will respond as soon as possible.' Without waiting for my response, she stood up and said, 'Let me go finish cooking your lunch.'"

"After their mother left, we were quiet for a while, like characters in a suspenseful sitcom, all pondering, 'What's the deal here?' I swear, it felt like we were in some bizarre reality show. I was lost in my thoughts when suddenly Fabi blurts out 'our In-law' with a grin. We all turn to look, and there's Lami, trying to play it cool but failing miserably.

Then Fabi coughs, breaking the tension, and I realize I've somehow won Lami over. But before I can revel in my triumph, Fabi's like, 'Is this real?' And I'm like, 'I'm as baffled as you are!' Then she turns to Lami, and we all stare expectantly, but Lami's playing shy for the first time ever.

Things get awkward real quick. We went from carefree to 'Is this a soap opera?' in seconds. Fabi keeps trying to dig deeper, but Lami just smiles like she's got some secret sauce. Fabi, bless her curiosity, turns to me and drops this bombshell: 'Did you know Lami came back from Kene's and basically said, 'Nah, not feeling it'? She even begged us to crash at yours so she wouldn't have to deal with your toast.'"

We erupted into laughter, with all eyes on Lami, who remained serene, her smile unwavering. Fabi motioned for Mani to excuse us, then, with a solemn tone, turned to Lami. "Do you grasp the gravity of your decision?" Lami nodded silently. Fabi pressed further, "Then why keep me in the dark? Why not discuss it with me beforehand?" For the first time, Lami responded, "I only just made up my mind."

Fabi turned to me, her expression conflicted. "I'm sorry, I'm just... bewildered." "About what?" I inquired. "About what just transpired," she admitted. "Honestly, I'm a bit bewildered too, but happy"

As Fabi delved into questions about interreligious marriage, I expressed my openness, emphasizing mutual respect. When she queried about our children's religious affiliation, I advocated for their autonomy in choosing their faith. Redirecting the conversation, I questioned Fabi about her own religious practice. She admitted it was inherited. "Imagine if circumstances had placed you elsewhere," I posed. She conceded, "Likely I'd follow your faith." I continued, highlighting the lack of choice in birth circumstances. "So why fuss over what's beyond our control?" She fell silent, acknowledging my perspective.

She confessed her concerns about potential complications due to rigidity within my community but conceded understanding after our discussion, excusing herself.

Turning to Ladi, I expressed gratitude and vowed never to cause her regret. As our eyes met, she looked away, revealing a newfound vulnerability in her demeanor i have never seen before.

We stayed a while not saying anything; I guess we were both in our own worlds, thinking about what's next. Mani came in and told Ladi that the food was ready, and that we should join them at the dinner table. I just realized how hungry I was, but my stomach was filled with anxiety.

Ladi stood up and said, "Let's go and eat." I followed them to the dining room. As soon as I entered the dinner room, I immediately noticed the father and another man whom I don't know, along with the rest of the family, all seated.

"Good afternoon, sir. How are you, my son?" he responded. We exchanged pleasantries, and he asked me to be seated. The only vacant seat happened to be between Ladi and Fabi, which I had no choice but to take. I found this a bit strange because in my culture, men and women don't eat together. Still wondering, I heard, "Let's pray," and they bowed their heads and closed their eyes as the father started praying, and I joined them.

After praying, the mother dished for the father and herself, then the other man dished his. I was wondering if there were protocols. I decided to wait and see what would happen when it came to my turn. Ladi stood up and started dishing for me, then for herself, and sat down. Fabi and Mani followed suit.

Eating in front of so many women and in-laws was a bit awkward for me. So, I sat there, looking at the food. I could feel all eyes on me. The father then said, "Eat, young man, don't be afraid." I tried to eat, even though I was really hungry. After about 5 or 6 spoons, I couldn't continue. I stopped trying.

"They continued eating in silence, each mouthful heavy with unspoken thoughts. When it seemed everyone had finished, they turned their attention to me. 'You tried,' the father said, 'but your dad couldn't even hold a spoon when we visited my home.' Memories of school days resurfaced, and they pondered why certain customs persisted. 'I think it's more about cultural upbringing,' I offered, explaining how, from a young age, eating habits were segregated along gender lines, even among relatives.

The atmosphere eased as the father reminisced about old school days shared with my dad, emphasizing their closeness. Then, abruptly, he shifted gears. 'So, what brings you here today?' he inquired, fixing me with a scrutinizing gaze. 'I came to see Ladi,' I replied cautiously. His response was measured, hinting at the weight of tradition. 'So your dad was serious?' he probed further. I hesitated, unsure of how much to reveal. He continued, explaining the intricacies of their customs, emphasizing the importance of the daughter's consent before any further discussions could take place.

I wanted to interject, to declare Ladi's acceptance, but held back, sensing the gravity of the moment. With a final nod, the father rose from his seat, bidding me to convey his regards to my parents before departing.

As the tension dissipated, the mother took charge of the conversation, probing gently if i knew the man with us? When I admitted I didn't know him, she introduced him as Dimas, her eldest son, before turning her attention back to me. With a subtle shift, she announced my purpose: I was here to seek Ladi's hand in marriage, a declaration that hung in the air, awaiting acknowledgment."