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Noah's Ark: - Religion - Nairaland

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Noah's Ark: by wales(m): 3:28am On Jun 02, 2007
What I Learned From Noah

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark,

ONE: Don't miss the boat.

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark.

FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.

FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.

SIX: Build your future on high ground.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.

NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
Re: Noah's Ark: by thesilent1(m): 10:01pm On Jun 02, 2007
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

that put a smile on my face!! thanks!!!

sweet
Re: Noah's Ark: by mrmayor(m): 10:57pm On Jun 02, 2007
bollocks sad sad sad sad
Re: Noah's Ark: by gbadex1(m): 1:54am On Jun 03, 2007
. . . .and exactly what makes it "bollocks"?
Re: Noah's Ark: by mrpataki(m): 3:54pm On Jun 03, 2007
@mrmayor,
Maybe you might need to go back to your cock and bull story in the sexuality thread. The story here is real and actually worth living with!
Re: Noah's Ark: by mrmayor(m): 7:48pm On Jun 03, 2007
Finally the Bible Fanatics are out of the woodworks,why don't you write your own story?You believe that Noah and his family provided the Gene pool for over 6 billion people is indeed a load of BOLLOCKS,besides I don't remember referring to you.
Re: Noah's Ark: by gbadex1(m): 8:04pm On Jun 03, 2007
Waow waow! Slow down a minute, doe. . .

exactly what is biting at you as this seems personal. . . .
Re: Noah's Ark: by mrmayor(m): 8:29pm On Jun 03, 2007
What I Learned From Noah

Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark, You learnt how to use a computer,internet,drive,read,write,fly a plane all from Noah?How Fabulous

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.There is always another boat,maritime industry has a timetable,

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. You don't need Noah to tell you that,Scouts say "Be Prepared"


FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.How was Noah's calender calculated,365 days a year?Give me a break

FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.I agree,thats why African Rulers kill all critics,just like George Bush sent his fellow Americans to die in a stupid war because he didn't listen to critics after all God told him to invade Iraq.

SIX: Build your future on high ground. OK,I accept,Japanese build quake proof buildings and most have never heard of the mythical Noah.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs. I accept,but you can go to the toilet in pairs unless you are you know what.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.Ever thought what the cheetahs,lions,tigers,alligators ate during their time in the ark?

NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.yes with some ganja and beer,don't forget the suya grin

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. Amateurs can't build boats,if you can please give it a try,professionals built tankers and warships,some sink some don't no big deal sir.
Re: Noah's Ark: by KAG: 9:31pm On Jun 03, 2007
mrmayor:


FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.I agree,thats why African Rulers kill all critics,just like George Bush sent his fellow Americans to die in a stupid war because he didn't listen to critics after all God told him to invade Iraq.

LoL, wonderful.


mrpataki:

@mrmayor,
Maybe you might need to go back to your cock and bull story in the sexuality thread. The story here is real and actually worth living with!

What makes it real?
Re: Noah's Ark: by thesilent1(m): 9:52pm On Jun 03, 2007
Everything I need to know, I learned from Noah's Ark, You learnt how to use a computer,internet,drive,read,write,fly a plane all from Noah?How Fabulous

TWO: Remember that we are all in the same boat.There is always another boat,maritime industry has a timetable,

THREE: Plan ahead. It wasn't raining when Noah built the Ark. You don't need Noah to tell you that,Scouts say "Be Prepared"


FOUR: Stay fit. When you're 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big.How was Noah's calender calculated,365 days me a year?Give a break

FIVE: Don't listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done.I agree,thats why African Rulers kill all critics,just like George Bush sent his fellow Americans to die in a stupid war because he didn't listen to critics after all God told him to invade Iraq.

SIX: Build your future on high ground. OK,I accept,Japanese build quake proof buildings and most have never heard of the mythical Noah.

SEVEN: For safety's sake, travel in pairs. I accept,but you can go to the toilet in pairs unless you are you know what.

EIGHT: Speed isn't always an advantage. The snails were on board with the cheetahs.Ever thought what the cheetahs,lions,tigers,alligators ate during their time in the ark?

NINE: When you're stressed, float awhile.yes with some ganja and beer,don't forget the suya

TEN: Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. Amateurs can't build boats,if you can please give it a try,professionals built tankers and warships,some sink some don't no big deal sir.

dude, whatever your beliefs, its still a nice and for your benefit, moral story. i do not think there is any need for the harshness in the tone of your post.

you have sarcastically gone through each point but i still know which one i would "prefer" a child listen to.

a simple "i do not believe in the story" would have sufficed.
Re: Noah's Ark: by gbadex1(m): 12:28am On Jun 04, 2007
Thank you thesilent1, i couldn't have said it better.

mrmayor,
i respect the fact that we don't share the same beliefs. If you don't believe in the Biblical story of Noah's ark, fine! It's your choice. I choose to believe. What i can't fathom is you and other unbelievers screaming blue murder and raving/ranting each time a Christian makes a post. There was absolutely no point in the ridicule you put up there as a post. The originator of this thread was simply drawing out moral lessons from the story of Noah for the benefit of those who choose to listen to it. Getting on his nuts was simply uncalled for.

Like Mode9 once said,
"if you got beef with me, do it like Heinze and can it".
Re: Noah's Ark: by mrmayor(m): 8:50am On Jun 04, 2007
My first reply to this thread was a simple "Bollocks" and I was asked why it was Bollocks.Before I reply a crusader went on the attack obviously just home from church and to show his love to non believers he poured scorn on me just for not believing in a story and you guys (gbade.x /thesilent) conveniently ignored that.

What morals can you get from a story where a God decided kill everything and everyone on earth just for not serving him,including babies who never had the opportunity to make that decision,they must all die because their parents were bad people,would I want a man or God to kill my children because of things I might have done?you tell me.

On other threads were people have expressed their views about not believing in a Supreme Being,you guys (Religious Folks) went on the offensive telling the whole board how they would burn in hell from the anger of a kind and merciful God.I won't tell my children about Cinderella,Snow White etc either because these stories all vilify the Wicked Step Mother.

What morals stories can you draw from the Asian Tsunami? That they should have installed early warning systems or should have become born again?Thats being ready according to Noah's story but then again they (Asian Governments) didn't listen to critics just like Noah
Re: Noah's Ark: by thesilent1(m): 1:53pm On Jun 04, 2007
bollocks


@mrmayor, Maybe you might need to go back to your cock and bull story in the sexuality thread. The story here is real and actually worth living with!

for every action, there is a

with regards to us religious folk (LOL! i never thought i would get to this level!, praise god) going on the offensive, i listen to guys and girls insulting my faith EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! lol and believe me some things i hear are enough for people here to se kpe fu won! i have learnt a VERY long time ago, that whatever YOU say or feel about MY beliefs will just never change anything.

again, i say that there are people here that will deny any kind of existence of a God but we STILL manage to have conversations and even debates without insults.

no matter how you say it, the reply of "bollocks" from anyone to anything you say will be viewed as rude. it might be a personal opinion but its still a rude opinion.

i am not here to dictate to any one or try and change anyone but as simply a human being, i know a rude comment when i see one.
Re: Noah's Ark: by gbadex1(m): 2:11pm On Jun 04, 2007
. . .and exactly the point mrmayor

there was nothing "simple" about  that single word bollocks. As a matter o' fact, it was downright rude and inflammatory. If for not sharing the same beliefs as i, you choose to insult my beliefs and in turn, me -placing yourself in my shoes, would you like it?

And NO, i did not ignore mrpataki's post.That word "bollocks" was what sparked off mrpataki's reply. While i do not condone him replying in such manner, you share in the blame. If you didn't utter such in the first place, he wouldn't lash back. Se finni.
Re: Noah's Ark: by mrmayor(m): 4:13pm On Jun 04, 2007
@thesilent1,

There would no one ridiculing any religion,a lot of people are sick of Religious people always trying to shove down their believes down the throat of others,every day in Nigeria people are bombarded with messages that they would all die and burn in hell just because they don't believe,the ear drums of Nigerian citizens are have all being destroyed with the constant Noise Pollution,of shouting,drumming,cursing all those who don't believe.

How many people have being killed in the name of your God,babies,women,men who have been slaughtered in the name of God,yet you talk about  insulting  your religion.If you guys leave people to live their lives in peace maybe no one would redicule your believes,when I was in Nigeria,I was always woken up at 5am by a man shouting that I would die if I don't convert and come to his church to receive the spirit.

I did not insult any religion,unless Noah is now one.I said its bollocks to teach my children that it possible to keep all the worlds animals in a 300ft boat for so long,including polar bears,seals.penguins,snow leopard,emu,crocs,snakes for so long,the winter animals need cold temperatures to survive and how did Mr Noah feed all those carnivores?

I don't support ignorance
Re: Noah's Ark: by thesilent1(m): 4:26pm On Jun 04, 2007
with regards to us religious folk (LOL! i never thought i would get to this level!, praise god) going on the offensive, i listen to guys and girls insulting my faith EVERY SINGLE DAY!!! lol and believe me some things i hear are enough for people here to se kpe fu won! i have learnt a VERY long time ago, that whatever YOU say or feel about MY beliefs will just never change anything.

i should have been clear with regards to the above; this goes on in my work place. not here on-line.

no one is talking about what OTHER people say or do in the name of religion. YOU MADE A MISTAKE; fact! wheather you ACCEPT it or not is a different issue. with regards to THIS post and YOUR initial reply to this, YOU WERE RUDE. i do not know the person that started this thread and i could not care less. even if the person had said sort of the same thing but from an ISLAMIC point of view, i would still feel your reply as been rude.

the issue here is not that your reply contradicts anything the thread starter wrote; its that your reply to them was rude. we can still have strong opinions while still keeping our integrity as human beings. let me be clear, i am not accusing you of attacking MY or ANY other religion for that matter; i am accusing you of been rude to a fellow human being. whether you lose sleep over it or not is your god-given (sorry, personally given) right to do so.

PS - if thats how you teach your kids, religion is the least of your worries.


do not support ignorance


but try supporting decency
Re: Noah's Ark: by jerrymania(m): 10:07am On Jun 05, 2007
mrmayor:

bollocks sad sad sad sad

Word!
Re: Noah's Ark: by thesilent1(m): 10:09am On Jun 05, 2007
yes, it is a word; clap for yourself

next week, we shall try two words!!!
Re: Noah's Ark: by goodguy(m): 11:41pm On Jun 06, 2007
I personally do not see anything rude/inflammatory/offensive about mrmayor's "bullocks". Every time, I wonder why people raise dust over nothing.
Re: Noah's Ark: by thesilent1(m): 7:26am On Jun 07, 2007
different strokes for different folks
Re: Noah's Ark: by Yehowah: 7:22am On Jan 21, 2011
That a global cataclysmic flood occurred cannot be denied by considering all the evidence. All nations and all tribes have a story about the flood which has been likely corrupted if the story was passed down orally. I feel so sorry for those who have no knowledge that people in the past (around 1600 AM or 2500 BC) had technology much better than us and we are just beginning to catch up. We still cannot cut large blocks of stone like those ancients in Africa, America, Asia and Europe. Who built the Great Pyramid?? Who built the structures on Easter Island?? One block in Lebanon is so massive NO CRANE ON THIS PLANET CAN CARRY IT!!

Noah built the ark mainly of gopher (cypress) wood but he had metal rivets and washers in the ark. The rivet contained titanium, aluminum, manganese, vanadium and chromium. He need not take the fish with him according to Genesis. He only took a pair [female and male] of every unclean kind and seven of every clean kind. If anyone tells me the dog, wolf and coyote are of the same kind, I would believe the person. The horse, zebra and donkey are the same kind of animal. If the animals could originally bring forth, then they are of the same kind. He did not need to carry massive animals. THE SMALLER ANIMALS CAME TO HIM!! READ: http://www.wyattmuseum.com/noahs-ark-07.htm and WATCH:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Y5ORpMTebI .

How did clams in the closed position get to the top of Mount Everest, Mount Kilimanjaro or the rest? Might I add that clams CANNOT walk? FOSSILIZATION (the hardening of organic tissue) requires a RAPID BURIAL BY WATER to occur. Clams also open when they die so this evinces the clams were not expecting to die.

ALL ANIMALS ARE SMALL BEFORE THEY GET LARGE. Noah could easily have taken 1000's of tiny land animals which would later grow large and adapt to their environment after the flood. In humans, we have seen a White South African give birth to a Black and a Black Nigerian give birth to a White. A similar phenomenon occurs in animals at times. I would rather believe in the most high GOD through his son (Yeshua the MESSIAH) my whole life and when I die find out he is fake than scoff at him my entire life to find out he is real at RESURRECTION.
Re: Noah's Ark: by Nobody: 5:05pm On Jan 21, 2011
this poster is a dunce
Re: Noah's Ark: by emmadaniel: 8:53pm On Feb 07, 2011
great work!
Re: Noah's Ark: by commoninfo: 4:29am On Feb 08, 2011
That's a nice Inspiration. More of it. May you not expire.

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