Looking fresh 1-3 years in marriage & look hagard from 5 years & forever. A recurring scenario in Nigeria and why you need to rethink if marriage and having children is what you really want and the perfect choice for you.

In this part of the world in which we found ourselves, a better living is danm expensive and out of reach in majority of Nigerian homes. No better paying jobs and lack of besic social amenities.

Everyone provide whatever they need from moving around the street and in their homes, and the laws doesn't protect the common man.

a Luxurious living is for those in politics and in crimes. The weather is so harsh and hot for confort living and which makes Africans more hagard and urgly.


Relatively majority of people that enters into marriage get caught in the web of suffering so sooner or later. It's may seem so easy from calculation when living alone. But Not until one enters the road of no return when children comes into the pictures. From marrying to a bad partner from losing of job and increase of price in relatively everything.

A hand full of them enters into harsh jobs in haste after losing previous job. Just to meet up with bills.

The suffering never end and the children they are suffering for never get to enjoy a better living.

Think about a man that starts having kid at 35-40 years. Is relatively selfish and think the children will help take care of him when he is old. But unfortunately the life is a circle and you can't possibly give what you don't have. These children never get to take care of their patients.

The children grows up and continue in this same circle of hardship of their aged father. And never have the time or resources to take care of themselves nether their aged father who is now more hagard and worn out with various health challenges at 65-70.

as the children are barely 25-30 or 35 Searching for none existing jobs and blaming their father for bringing them to this world.

Marriage or having children should not be forced. Just think about it should you marry or train children? Or use the money to secure your future instead.

You just created a topic out of a question I be had in my head two days now. It's as if marriage only bends the man into impoverishment and subservience oooo.

My latest predicament: I'm not married. Girlfriend comes in regularly tho'. My account is in the red. Hers blossoming. Why? Because I strongly believe in bearing the costs for the woman in your life (maybe as much as 50%).

Dah, I swear I de rethink this marriage thing

Seriously.........

I am still looking for the marriage formula...


Being without wife and kids is work.....


But sacrificing my dream and aspirations because of children is what I am still scared of...


Maybe I will just manage one child.

But by statistics, people earn more money and live better(financially) when married than their single days.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EtvfHnZMcOY

What I know for sure is that having an excessive number of kids that you can’t cater for is one of the most common pathways to poverty and rapid aging. Your fine boy/gal disappears quickly when the bills encompass you like ocean waves.

udoka55555:
Seriously.........

I am still looking for the marriage formula...


Being without wife and kids is work.....


But sacrificing my dream and aspirations because of children is what I am still scared of...


Maybe I will just manage one child.

When you see your spouse and children as parts of your dream and aspirations, your perspective will change. Have you tried to see your spouse beyond wifey duties?

Acidosis:


When you see your spouse and children as parts of your dream and aspirations, your perspective will change. Have you tried to see your spouse beyond wifey duties?

It's not everytime I agree with you but sometimes it's like you pull the thoughts out of my mind.

I've been married 9 years now. I'm earning more than before I got married. I'm living better. I don't need to "red pill" but I am comfortable, secure and established in my home.

And I can say this about the majority of marriages in my circle. So if you only see the bad in marriage, change your network of people.