Please don’t come here to tell me I am jobless. Seun that owns Nairaland is not complaining, and you did not buy me the data.


If this post irritates you, please kindly swipe back to where you are coming from.

Just for the fun.

First one was when me and three other cousins were living with grandma. We were all around the ages of 8 to 15. Grandma was fond of doing domestic works into the late night. Most times we go to bed around 1 or 2am. The domestic works were mostly peeling of cassava and/or frying the proceeds to form Garri.

Grandma got tired of waking us with slaps and knocks, kids were tired mhen, but grandma wasn’t having any of it

Most times if she wants to punish anyone that is sleepy, she’ll give the kid the lamp to hold

Grandma got really tired and needed to sleep some times and leave us working so she gave everyone authority to slap anyone that is sleeping.

Lol. See slaps mhen. Intentional slaps too. I remember getting into a fight with one of my cousins because I landed him slap even when he wasn’t sleeping

One day grandma gave order and went to sleep. The oldest amongst us fell asleep. I wanted to land his face with slap but sist said No, she went and brought toothpaste, she instructed me to gently open his eyelid, I did, she took little paste and laced it inside his eyes. Mhen!! we ran out of the house that night. This guy scatter everywhere. We never knew toothpaste was that dangerous to the eye.

ok

2. I and this little kid were breaking palm nuts. We were about 10 to 12 years of age. We break the nut open, break as much as you need and use it to drink Garri.

This kid was trying to outsmart me. He was stealing my palm nuts. He stole the fine ones.

On a very good day we finished breaking nuts, he hid his somewhere and I was so lucky to find it.

I took a lot from it and decided to punish him. I went to pick goats faeces that looks same as palm nut and mixed it with the his nuts.


Guy man!!! I was happy drinking Garri with mine when I head someone burst into cry.

It was this kid, he was eating his when he chew the goat shittt and burst into cry.

I denied everything.

3. There’s this house that we use to watch movies by standing outside the window. Like 10 kids will gather one window.

One day the occupants of the house refused to allow us watch. They closed their window. Mhen, come see painment!!!

The eldest amongst us was smart enough to know how to put it the power switch. He sneaked into the corridor of the house where the switch is and put it off.

For two good days, the occupants of the house thought they power had gone bad. Till they realized what had happened.

So it became a habit for the kids. If them nor let you watch film, just go there and switch of the power.

One day, the only day I gathered mind to do mine. Mhen!! The kind electric shock that threw me off the ground. The shout and scream drew attentions. Na the same occupants of the house rush me go hospital. I’ll never forget that day

4. We had this mango tree that stretched to the roof of the house, resting it’s branches and fruits on the zinc. But we had this wall switch inside the house that when you switch it ON, it somehow passes electric current to the zinc and as well the mango branches. We were always careful whenever we climb that branch and always wear slippers to climb the tree and also make sure the switch is turned OFF.


Whenever you see a very ripe mango, you book it down as the one that saw it and you should be the one to pluck it, it was against our culture(we the kids) to break this golden rule.


One day, eldest cousin broke this rule and climbed the branch that stretched to the zinc to pluck the mango that I saw.

Feeling helpless because he’ll eat the mango while up there and throw the skins at me(he was fond of it)
Lucky me, there was power that day. I ran inside and flipped the switched ON.

This guy was on top the mango tree not being able to touch any branches because of the electric shocks from the branches.

He cry tire!! He had to jump from the roof and skipped school for days.

Parks Ferrari......

stupidity:
3. There’s this house that we use to watch movies by standing outside the window. Like 10 kids will gather one window.

One day the occupants of the house refused to allow us watch. They closed their window. Mhen, come see painment!!!

The eldest amongst us was smart enough to know how to put it the power switch. He sneaked into the corridor of the house where the switch is and put it off.

For two good days, the occupants of the house thought they power had gone bad. Till they realized what had happened.

So it became a habit for the kids. If them nor let you watch film, just go there and switch of the power.

One day, the only day I gathered mind to do mine. Mhen!! The kind electric shock that threw me off the ground. The shout and scream drew attentions. Na the same occupants of the house rush me go hospital. I’ll never forget that day

Lol
U re very funny man

5. Grandma went to the market one day. I stole 4 cup of rice and cooked it. Mhen the curry, thyme and ONGA in that rice go reach cook jollof rice for party

Rice became so much and plenty. I had little to know knowledge about measuring the correct amount of rice you can “steal”, cook and finish the whole pot before grandma comes back.

What do I do to this much rice in the pot?

It’s a party!! Party after parry!!! I invited my clubs to come and enjoy. Mehnn we fed that day ehh. Grandma came and was suspicious of how and why my stomach looks big and shiny

Mind you, whenever you steal rice to cook. Be smart to cover all tracks. Replace the fire wood, the ingredients have been kept before that day sef. Make sure you steal the ingredients in large quantities and keep them for “future stealing’s”


Hours later, these kids started purgin and shitting nonsense, me gan I go relax for back yard dey shitt anyhow sef. Grandma wasn’t aware yet. Later I heard where’s “stupidity”


One of the kid couldn’t hold it anymore, he sold me out to his mom and his mom came to report me to grandma. This rest was history

One day like that one of my friends annoyed me...
The guy thought I was joking....
Na so I carry stone wire am close to em eye...
OMG!!!
See blood....
Later anytime the guy wan misbehave I go dey use am dey threaten am

Childhood gang wars, wrestling (I was Hulk Hogan jnr), airsoft pellet gun battles, drowning each other in pools. We were a rough bunch. I still have childhood scars.

ok, am comin



All those ajekpako parentx hmmmmm, God understand their lifestyles, only God know how dey devise the metjod to train children.




1) One dat laidat, my mama dey fry garri why my papa dey erect the uprights of the wooden kitchen meant specifically for frying garri.

Me wey no get job dey climb one dilapidated bathroom besides where my parent was working.
They saw me, saw dat wat i was doin was dangerous but dey didn't caution me, eey continued to dey rojo. ok na

Some five minutes later, i found mysef on top of the bathroom having d feeling of.... haa, ope o, mogunja..

I didn't know how it happened, i just found myself, landed on the ground gbam!!, immediately i landed on d ground with my back, i was like yeeehhh mogbe oo.
Before i could alter a word, gbam!! a full brick, dat red brick landed on my chest gbaaaa!!! Den i shouted with fuul force YEEEEHHHHHH!!!!!

Could u bliv my parent did not even look at my side, dey just continued with their work and pretended like nobody was with dem.

I couldn't stand up so early so i had to rest there for some minute, i didn't know wen i slept off on that spot.

Like an hour later i woke up, dusted mysef and went out for another erekere with my neighbouring goons.

Til today my parent didn't say how was ur body.







2) I was in primary 3 wen dis hapened, i went to school in d money without eating anything, i tot the would give me my usual #3 to eat rice and bean cus dey didn't cook for us but dey didn't giv me my #3

in d afternoon i couldn't hold the hunger again, i just rushed home, my father was seated at the passage perpendicular to the entrance of parlour soo he could see anything happening in d palour
My grandmother just cooked one better ewedu, those grandmas ewedu wey dey tick, cooked with clayey pot, and dried river fish would b doin FEC meeting inside it. so she took the pot of soup inside uncovered.

Poor wale just walked inside gragra like i took codeine, i greeted with arrogance without listening to the reply

my grandmother was just standing greeting me, since the answer i gave was not satisfactory sge was in awe of my usual behaviour,

before the knew wat was happening i have removed my school shirt, gbam, inside the uncovered soup, removed my khaki knicker, gbam, inside soup, as i was doin dis my father kept quiet, lookin at where cane go land on my head

as i finished uncladding mysef i turned to my grandmother, it was the look on her face dat told me something was wrong, hmmm, wen i looked sideways and saw my clothes inside soup i just melted. i bellefood sharpsharp

the rest they say is history

stupidity:
5. Grandma went to the market one day. I stole 4 cup of rice and cooked it. Mhen the curry, thyme and ONGA in that rice go reach cook jollof rice for party

Rice became so much and plenty. I had little to know knowledge about measuring the correct amount of rice you can “steal”, cook and finish the whole pot before grandma comes back.

What do I do to this much rice in the pot?

It’s a party!! Party after parry!!! I invited my clubs to come and enjoy. Mehnn we fed that day ehh. Grandma came and was suspicious of how and why my stomach looks big and shiny

Mind you, whenever you steal rice to cook. Be smart to cover all tracks. Replace the fire wood, the ingredients have been kept before that day sef. Make sure you steal the ingredients in large quantities and keep them for “future stealing’s”


Hours later, these kids started purgin and shitting nonsense, me gan I go relax for back yard dey shitt anyhow sef. Grandma wasn’t aware yet. Later I heard where’s “stupidity”


One of the kid couldn’t hold it anymore, he sold me out to his mom and his mom came to report me to grandma. This rest was history

Ahahah

Waray ti baye awon omo olomo je jina

i hav bn reasoning wat could b the reason behind choosing this moniker but naw i see.



Dat ur g/ma eehn, pls say me well to her if she's still alive. she b woman, she decv medals

The dangerous play almost result to the my death
I'm a very curious child when growing and I try to emulate everything I watch in the movies... � At one time I was doubting about how hanging someone will just kill the person shap shap as it was potrail in nollywood, I always feel I need to check it out cause how can ordinary road on someone neck just kill the person like that, well my curiosity was further imploded when I watched the mummy on that part where they hanged the actor and he was struggling something he kept doing for minutes by holding the rope (the others are even negotiating for his freedom) I was perplexed and feel that the man is strong and that how it should be - person cannot just die fast fast by hanging and atleast he can hold the rope..

Well on one stupid day I decided to act on my ambition (this is something I've been trying to do but unable to carry it out due to large number of people always at home)... This day though everyone was outside playing, naso I carry rope already well knotted .. I try to look for nice play to tie it,well what save me is I couldn't find any where that's free except the burglary at the window..

After tighting the rope and making sure the noose was well placed on my neck, I finally removed the stool, .... The kind snap and pressure I feel on my neck enh it was as if my head want to remove, my throat was suddenly compressed and it's very heard to breath even to expand my chest, what really saved me was that I was able to quickly grap hold of the burglary and pull me self up to sit on the window... I just wonder how it'll be if I've not used the window hmmm... Well after that day I learned my lesson say all na film trick

I wasn't the type that engages in rough play... The day I tried it, it ended up in tears because I hit my head on the wall...

stupidity:
5. Grandma went to the market one day. I stole 4 cup of rice and cooked it. Mhen the curry, thyme and ONGA in that rice go reach cook jollof rice for party

Rice became so much and plenty. I had little to know knowledge about measuring the correct amount of rice you can “steal”, cook and finish the whole pot before grandma comes back.

What do I do to this much rice in the pot?

It’s a party!! Party after parry!!! I invited my clubs to come and enjoy. Mehnn we fed that day ehh. Grandma came and was suspicious of how and why my stomach looks big and shiny

Mind you, whenever you steal rice to cook. Be smart to cover all tracks. Replace the fire wood, the ingredients have been kept before that day sef. Make sure you steal the ingredients in large quantities and keep them for “future stealing’s”


Hours later, these kids started purgin and shitting nonsense, me gan I go relax for back yard dey shitt anyhow sef. Grandma wasn’t aware yet. Later I heard where’s “stupidity”


One of the kid couldn’t hold it anymore, he sold me out to his mom and his mom came to report me to grandma. This rest was history

kai! You're not only stupid sir, you're also naughty.

I (8 years) carried my cousin (6 years) on my neck , my cousin carried my sister on her neck (4 years). I tried to stand up while carrying my cousin who was carrying my sister. Basically my cousin sat on my shoulder and my sister did same but on my cousin's shoulder.

We all fell down and my sister who was on top fell down and dislocated her arm. I noticed she didn't play with us again after the fall. She was very quiet and said her hand was paining her. Then her arm begin to swell. My aunt who lived with us used aboniki balm to massage her hand but it didn't relieve her. We all had to wait for my parents to come from from work. My parents came back and had to go to igbobi hospital that night. I felt really bad because it was my fault that my sister was in pain. My sister had to get POP on her arm. She didn't go to school for like 2 months until she was well. I was very devastated that period. I felt so guilty that I put my sister through such pain. That was when I stopped playing rough play.

Now I am 23, my sister is 19 and sometimes I ask her if she can remember that period she dislocated her arm, she said she remembers vaguely but she knows which arm it was. Even now, after so many years, I remember that time and I feel sad. I never, ever want to see my sister in pain. I love her so much.

How I wish Lalasticlalla blurs out this kind of OP's name whenever threads created by these shameless retťards bearing silly names get to the front page. Another one has the female organ attached to his moniker and his threads keep on making FP, giving people a lot of eyesore.

Jumping from 2nd Floor.

RenaissanceGuy:
How I wish Lalasticlala blurs out this kind of OP's name whenever threads created by these shameless retťards bearing silly names get to the front page. Another one has the female organ attached to his moniker and his threads keep on making FP, giving people a lot of eyesore.

liv dem alone na

Me? Jumping off a moving pickup truck.

Climbing fence that had spikes

stupidity:
Please don’t come here to tell me I am jobless. Seun that owns Nairaland is not complaining, and you did not buy me the data.


If this post irritates you, please kindly swipe back to where you are coming from.

Just for the fun.

First one was when me and three other cousins were living with grandma. We were all around the ages of 8 to 15. Grandma was fond of doing domestic works into the late night. Most times we go to bed around 1 or 2am. The domestic works were mostly peeling of cassava and/or frying the proceeds to form Garri.

Grandma got tired of waking us with slaps and knocks, kids were tired mhen, but grandma wasn’t having any of it

Most times if she wants to punish anyone that is sleepy, she’ll give you the lamp to hold

Grandma got really tired and needed to sleep some times and leave us working so she gave everyone authority to slap anyone that is sleeping.

Lol. See slaps mhen. Intentional slaps too. I remember getting into a fight with one of my cousins because I landed him slap even when he wasn’t sleeping

One day grandma gave order and went to sleep. The oldest amongst us fell asleep. I wanted to land his face with slap but sist said No, she went and brought toothpaste, she instructed me to gently open his eyelid, I did, she took little paste and laced it inside his eyes. Mhen!! we ran out of the house that night. This guy scatter everywhere. We never knew toothpaste was that dangerous to the eye.

Omg!!! Toothpaste That's a dangerous play.. I hope your brother didn't go blind... That's extremely rough...

Lamanii22:




Omg!!! Toothpaste That's a dangerous play.. I hope your brother didn't go blind... That's extremely rough...

Oo no. You again. Ok am ready to cooperate. I will pay u 7k cash for sex so I can stop been gay. Deal?

I boiled water in a kettle and try to siphon it into a bucket like I saw adults doing with mouth and that was how I SUCKED hot boiled water into my throat and had it burnt... that was one of the most painful injury I ever had.

stupidity:
Please don’t come here to tell me I am jobless. Seun that owns Nairaland is not complaining, and you did not buy me the data.


If this post irritates you, please kindly swipe back to where you are coming from.

Just for the fun.

First one was when me and three other cousins were living with grandma. We were all around the ages of 8 to 15. Grandma was fond of doing domestic works into the late night. Most times we go to bed around 1 or 2am. The domestic works were mostly peeling of cassava and/or frying the proceeds to form Garri.

Grandma got tired of waking us with slaps and knocks, kids were tired mhen, but grandma wasn’t having any of it

Most times if she wants to punish anyone that is sleepy, she’ll give you the lamp to hold

Grandma got really tired and needed to sleep some times and leave us working so she gave everyone authority to slap anyone that is sleeping.

Lol. See slaps mhen. Intentional slaps too. I remember getting into a fight with one of my cousins because I landed him slap even when he wasn’t sleeping

One day grandma gave order and went to sleep. The oldest amongst us fell asleep. I wanted to land his face with slap but sist said No, she went and brought toothpaste, she instructed me to gently open his eyelid, I did, she took little paste and laced it inside his eyes. Mhen!! we ran out of the house that night. This guy scatter everywhere. We never knew toothpaste was that dangerous to the eye.

ipain:
I boiled water in a kettle and try to siphon it into a bucket like I saw adults doing with mouth and that was how I SUCKED hot boiled water into my throat and had it burnt... that was one of the most painful injury I ever had.

lol. Mine was hot soup. I was told to throw the soup away because it was about to sour. Because of the meat and fish wey full inside, I made sure I warm it very well. Just about to bring it down and enjoy, the clay pot fell and broke on my leg. I mad that day. Skipped school for a while.

Can't remember
But a aunt of mine do tell me am very tough when I was small

A guy land and man is invited for the depiction of the turns for all shows. The talking of the tape and custom essay papers is visited for the joy for the groups. The cluster is ensured for the ambit for the amplification for the themes and all issues for the field.

When i was a kid, we used to cook all these children food.
Na so we go use one kind Leaf in front of our Neighbor's Compound and cook soup.
After Like an Hour, na so wetin we start de hear na Yey! Yeh, i dn die!.. see cry everywhere.
The Leaf de scratch like Mad!
I cry tire that day. Since then, i stopped playing dt kind play.

Another one was when i was still trying to practice how to Smoke.
I was using Match stick. As i Light d match stick na so my mum just come inside.
I no even know wetin to do, na so i carry the thing Hide under my cloth close to my navel. D tin de burn me oh but i just de bear the thing.
The Scar is still there till date.